Monthly Archives: November 2021

Making Spirits Bright

Well we are just chugging along aren’t we? Did I mention that I didn’t really get to watch a single one of these over the weekend. But can I say that it’s just too many movies on a weekend you are supposed to spend with your family? I mean, I tried to get my Hallmark loving family to watch just one and no one was interested. But we did so many fun things that I wasn’t really complaining. That’s just how it is. This year, I have really been feeling the strain of just watching all these movies. I love them, but sometimes it really feels like a chore to watch them all and like, not miss out on the actual season. So since this is all just a made up hobby of mine, I get to decide what I want to do with it. And today, I watched this movie while I caught up from being on vacation! So it will be little shorter because we’re just going from my memory. Let’s get after it.

Grace and her best friend own a home staging company. It seems like Grace’s partner is a bit of a large personality and just steamrolls over all of Grace’s decorating choices. It also seems like this actress either doesn’t talk loud enough or clear enough because like 90% of her dialogue is ADR. Anyway, after they finish setting up this particular house, Grace heads home for Christmas.

She is waylaid however, by a truck stuck in the snow. They make a few references to town names that suggest they are in Virginia. A place where the entire state shuts down when the temperature drops below 20 degrees. It really does not snow. But this is a Hallmark movie so we have to just go with it. Anyway, Grace stops and realizes the man is an old friend of hers, Tony. She gets him out of the snowbank with some Girl Scout survival skills and they are both on their way.

They both are heading to see their dad. Tony is helping his dad decorate a house for Christmas and laments to his sister that business is down again this year. Meanwhile, Grace overhears that her dad’s store may be closing. Grace’s parents talk about competing in the town’s annual exterior lighting competition. I actually forget now what it’s called. It might be “Bright Lights?” Is that right? Anyway, they are reviewing pictures of their past work to submit as their application for this year’s contest.

Tony wants his dad to enter the contest too but he had a bad experience several years back and hasn’t participated since. But Tony really thinks it would be good for them or their family or whatever.

That night, they all run into each other in town. We learn a little more about the family conflict. The two dads ran a Christmas lighting business years ago and had a MAJOR falling out and now don’t speak at all. There’s also a hilarious little exchange where Tony’s nephew pretends to be his son to embarrass him in front of Grace.

I think this is also the time where they all submit their applications for the lighting competition. One of their competitors, Wade, is TRULY one of the wackiest Hallmark characters we’ve seen to date. He uses a lot of “fancy technology” on his houses so they look…ultra-modern or something?

Anyway, they all find out shortly thereafter that they will all get to compete. How many exterior lighting companies can one town support? The winner gets the contract for the city’s municipal buildings the following year plus a $50,000 cash prize. Can the city really choose their contractor this way? Absolutely not. But I guess if they’ve already decided they’re going to spend $25,000 no matter what, it probably doesn’t matter. OF COURSE IT DOESN’T MATTER.

Anyway, there are very strict time-based rules for the competition, like they can only work from 9 AM to 6PM and can only test their lights once it gets dark. They also call the houses they’re decorating “Deck Houses” which I don’t understand. Also, how does one get to be the house that is decorated totally for free? Or do the houses pay to participate? That’s a good idea.

Anyway, Tony and Grace keep running into each other and chatting and catching up on the past. They are both dissatisfied with their work and lives thus far. Tony has his MBA but hasn’t been able to find a job. They talk about him going to a “big school in Arlington” and again, if we’re talking about Virginia I don’t know WHAT they mean. To my knowledge, there is no “big college” there. And then they specifically mention Boston University so what are we doing here?

The viewer can also come to realize that the crux of the dads’ disagreement is very similar to that of Chris and Joe in “Christmas CEO.” Tony’s dad wants to make beautiful lighting displays regardless of whether they are cost effective and even if it means they have to turn down other jobs. Grace’s dad wants to run a profitable business that can support both of their families. So, they really could make a great team if they could just you know, combine their super powers.

Grace learns from her mom that her dad’s business is failing. He got over ambitious and expanded his store and it is not profitable. He is operating his business at a loss at this point. After finding out that their mothers have been secretly been friends this entire time, Grace and Tony decide to join forces to inspect her dad’s books.

Both families make it past the preliminary round of Christmas light decorating. Because this lighting competition is multiple rounds. This is after Tony’s dad decided to take all his lights down and start over so the icicle lights can look like they’re melting. Uh. What a nightmare.

 The stakes are quite high because Wade…or is it Gabe? The wackiest person in all the land, has some big plans. I think his name is actually Gabe. Anyway, his Christmas displays are so impressive, he gets interviewed on the local news. How can Tony and Grace’s family compete with that?

At some point, both families start to realize they just cannot compete against Gabe/Wade. Grace wonders if they should join forces. Tony agrees. So, they miraculously convince their dads. And they’re in! Grace drew a beautiful design that everyone loves. BUT they don’t have much time.

However, old wounds do not heal quickly and right after agreeing to work together, the dads take shots at each other AGAIN. It’s tough to watch.

Now, I can’t remember if this is before or after the families team up, but Grace gets a phone call from her business partner. The television producer, for whom they staged a home at the beginning of this movie, invited them to his Christmas party. They are interested in creating a show about the girls’ business. Grace wonders if they should prepare a pitch, but the friend, in what I believe to be a rare moment without ADR, says it’s just a party so that is unnecessary.

However, at the Christmas party, Grace’s partner blurts out an entire pitch for a show which is NEWS to Grace. To be fair, Grace, I’ve seen the show she’s pitching. I’ve seen several thousand iterations of the show she’s pitching so it’s not NEW. But this is the last straw for Grace, so she decides to leave. Poor Tony, who drove her after she lent her keys to her mom, didn’t even get a chance to start his drink.

At a bar, Tony talks about singing carols in Italy with his family as a kid. This gives Grace an idea to fix things between their families. First, they carol in Italian outside Tony’s family’s house. They love it and agree to go to Grace’s family’s house. Grace’s mom invites them in. And miraculously, the old boys make up. THE MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS CAROLING.

They spend the next day happily working together until Tony’s dad falls off a ladder and breaks his collarbone. YIKES.

Later, Tony and Grace talk to her dad about his business. Tony has a great idea to keep it afloat. Grace’s dad is mad at them at first but is won over by good business ideas. You love to see it.

Tony’s dad’s broken collarbone doesn’t seem to slow the gang down too much and they finish on time. But while they’re working, Grace’s partner stops by to apologize for everything. That was unexpected. I thought maybe Grace would just step away from that business. But no! They’re going to patch things up.

Now we get to see the light displays. This may be the best part of the movie. I love watching the Christmas light displays. I love the song the family team uses but I don’t know that I liked their lighting display the best. BUT is ANYONE surprised when they win? And then Grace and Tony kiss but the movie is still not over.

We flash forward one year to the gang getting ready to watch the premiere of Grace’s new show. The dads are back to working together and Tony’s new consulting business seems to be booming. They all settle in on the couch to watch the show, happy as can be.

This movie felt like classic Hallmark. It had a very silly premise and seemed to follow the old standard format. But there have been so many heavy movies this year that I was very much HERE FOR IT. This was a great movie to watch while I did other things and it probably made me like it even more. What did you think?

An Unexpected Christmas

No Beard Tyler, I mean Jamie, gets ready for the day in his beautiful walk up in Chicago. We are immediately blasted with a CASUAL SHAMLESS BALSAM HILL PLUG.

Meanwhile, Emily frantically packs for a relaxation retreat in Hawaii and chats with her friend.

Then she heads to her job at a marketing firm. Her boss wants her to work on a new project instead of going on vacation. Of course, if she does this project, she is up for a BIG PROMOTION. But she has to go Fulton, Illinois to do a local tourism campaign instead of her vacation.

Jamie calls his mom from a campaign office. He can’t confirm whether Emily will be coming home with him. She just chatters away at him and he walks away from the phone.

During a meeting with the GOVERNOR, Jamie slowly leans back in a squeaky chair to grab a pen. It is NOT subtle. Regardless, Jamie gets a big assignment of his own-The Governor’s Christmas Day Address. HIGH STAKES.

He gets to work on his train ride home. His sister, Becca is there to pick him up. Well, well, well. Emily arrives at the exact same time, so his sister thinks they arrived together. Emily is like, wait what? You didn’t tell your family we broke up? And instead of Emily explaining it, she gets in the car and heads to Jamie’s family’s house. Jamie’s family is ELATED that Emily is there. No one has had even a second to explain. Emily seems to feel bad and starts to play along with no words exchanged.

More BALSAM HILL Ads. Emily finally asks to talk to Jamie in the kitchen. She swats a cookie out of his hand. Diane, Jamie’s mom, can’t read a dang room and keeps popping in. Emily tells Jamie’s family about the whole project she’s working on. Diane may have the least chill of any Hallmark mom ever and I love it. She asks when they want to get married and have babies and Jamie spits out his drink.

Later, Jamie seemingly plans to take Emily to her hotel. I’m not sure how he explains that to the family but here we are. We learn that Jamie dumped HER two months ago but didn’t tell his family because his grandpa had just died and who knows why else. The hotel where Emily is staying seems REAL fancy for a small town in Illinois. After dropping her off, Jamie sits in his car and practices telling his family why they broke up. He admits the sad truth to himself-that her career was taking off and his wasn’t and he felt threatened. She calls him and asks if he can still stay at his house. Apparently, there was a whole mix up with her reservation and she can’t get it straightened out until the following day. So, she is stuck on the “janky pull-out couch” in Jamie’s parents’ basement.

They get home just in time for charades. Later, Jamie lets Emily have his room and he takes the janky old pull out. Jamie’s room is GIGANTIC. There is a full living room in there. What do his parents do for a living? The playroom where Jamie sleeps is also gigantic and yet, they only have this rail thin pull out and Tyler’s feet hang over the side. BEEN THERE BUD. I spent MANY a Christmas sharing a 60-year-old double pull-out couch with basically a sheet of cardboard as a mattress with my sister. So yeah.

Emily tries to sneak out the following morning. BUT Jamie’s dad is a typical dad and is up and making breakfast. His mom and sister are up too. How early did Emily think she got up? Literally the entire house is already up. I do love Emily’s outfit.

Jamie is half on a bean bag and half on the pull out; totally out cold. Somehow the Christmas tree totally crashed too. NOT A RINGING ENDORSEMENT FOR BALSAM HILL. She literally throws an entire glass of water in his face. She gets right in his face and rehashes the whole morning to him. I LOVE IT.

Jamie heads outside in a lovely cardigan. We know how Tyler loves his cardigans. The family then reminisces about Jamie’s grandpa and then ceremoniously turn on their giant lawn inflatables. What is that coat that Emily is wearing?

Emily gets a call from Jackie Joyner Kersey and she can’t make it because of weather. So, her whole project has sort of been upended. She was sort of the key to the whole thing. The inflatables deflate in commiseration. Also why is Jackie willing to do an ad for some random town’s tourism campaign?

Jamie remains committed to that cardigan and Emily is wearing that ridiculous coat inside. Is she trying to hide a pregnancy or something? Jamie suggests maybe the Governor help her campaign. I mean, I guess. But let’s not pretend it’s better than Jackie Joyner Kersey. Jamie suggests Emily stay with his family for a week in exchange for the Governor possibly helping her out. So that’s not the meanest thing in the world to do to a girl you dumped without explanation.

That night, the family heads to the Christmas tree lighting in matching light up Christmas vests. They get funnel cakes before doing karaoke. Jamie and Emily reminisce after the karaoke moment. Jamie’s super weird parents hang mistletoe over them, and they go along with it. Ugh my heart is just breaking for poor Emily.

Jamie is in a whole pajama situation and tries to work on his speech.

The next morning, Emily talks to the client. She pitches the Governor of Illinois instead of Jackie Joyner Kersey. GUYS IT MAKES NO SENSE. The client is stoked though so we just need to keep going with it. The biggest problem is that the location of this speech is likely locked and loaded and why do it in a random town away from her home? I don’t know.

Jamie is in another cardigan and has a heart to heart with Becca at the theatre. Jamie’s nephew is in an amazing tree costume. Better than that one lady who wins the ugly sweater competition in her own home from a few movies back.

Later, Emily goes over the photos from the day at home. Her friend is also very impressed that they might have the Governor over Jackie Joyner Kersey. Like, how is a state Governor better than Jackie? I am not buying it.

Later, the family plays charades again. Things get a little tricky when Emily blabs that she is going to Hawaii in a few days. Emily wears a crown (for winning the game I assume) in her bed while she works.

Jamie is accosted by Becca in the hallway. She knows something is up. They head to the shed out back. It could be on a Christmas card. Jamie spills the truth to her. Becca is like, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? Becca tells him that if he doesn’t marry her, she’s going to have to because she has to stay in their family. So that’s sweet.

It’s a new day and Jamie still has NOTHING for his speech. I am NOT on board with Emily’s outfit. She is heading into town and Jamie decides to join her. Jamie wears his coat zipped up all the way. After they get coffee, Jamie turns into a historic walking tour guide for the town. Later, they eat hot dogs and hot chocolate mixed together? Gross. Emily says the hot dogs are like “lunch for a week” but has she never been to Costco? These dogs look to be the same size as Costco dogs and I can pound one of those in about 5 minutes.  

Later, Jamie’s parents chat about Jamie and Emily. They think maybe he is planning to propose. These two idiots. I love them though. I really do.

ANDREW WALKER ALERT. In a GREAT PLAID SCARF. YES.

I don’t know where they are; but they are chatting at some bar? Is it outdoor? They catch up about work. Emily gets WAY too personal with the poor waiter asking if they want more drinks. I think she’s had enough to drink. The waiter says “well, we’ve all been there.” Which is the perfect response to her word vomit.

Later, WHAT TIME IS IT? They have a lovely time outside at his parents’ outdoor firepit. I REALLY WANT ONE. There is a decorated Christmas tree out there too.

Jamie takes Emily to the fountain outside the hotel where she was supposed to stay. He tells her about a local tradition where people write their initials on a stone after they get married and throw it in the fountain. He gives her a great slogan idea. BUT WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH THE GOVERNOR?

She bravely runs around the fountain and doesn’t fall in. Then they dance to no music.

Jamie makes a call the next day. I’m assuming to ask about the Governor participating in this campaign. L,ater Emily and Jamie look for gifts at the outdoor Christmas market. Jamie gets a call. The Governor is IN for the speech. But my husband who has only been halfheartedly watching this movie, informed me that Jamie didn’t ask the Governor to be in the ad-just to do the speech in Fulton. So, this is going to be a REAL MESS. A mess in which Jamie could likely never recover personally or professionally. Curious how that will turn out. Or is that not what happened?

Later, Becca blackmails the pair of them into helping with her Christmas pageant. Becca really is not messing around about her stupid child’s play. Then Jamie reveals he doesn’t know how to drive a stick shift. JAMIE. Less sweaters more learning basic life skills. Jamie and Becca head to the train station to pick up his boss Gina. When the two meet, there seems to be an instant connection! So, great work Jamie.

Meanwhile, Emily paints with Diane. Later they all get dinner. Their waiter is the SAME guy from the bar. He is about to blab their whole story so Jamie does this weird bit where he hides under the table instead of just grabbing the waiter and asking him not to blab. But why would he blab? And why would them hiding under the table do anything to stop him from blabbing if he were so inclined? It makes NO SENSE.

Later, Becca and Gina walk home together. Jamie and Emily crack themselves up with their dinner antics. Didn’t anyone drive? I’m getting a real nineties vibe from Emily’s outfits. Jamie apologizes for how he ended things.

The next day, Jamie still has absolutely NOTHING for the speech. But by now surely his boss would want to see a draft and everyone would be working on it and it would be a whole thing. He’s not just going to give this to the governor cold! Or is he going to do JUST THAT? What a mess.

Emily finally meets up with her team. Her boss calls and wants to send her to the Cayman Islands for another project after Christmas. She is torn though because of Jamie. But Jamie dumped her and hasn’t said SQUAT about wanting to get back together.

That night, Emily wears my FAVORITE SWEATER of the movie. The family exchanges gifts. Emily thanks them for welcoming her and showing her what it would be like to have a big family at Christmas. And no one gets emotional about it.

Then it’s time for the pageant. Becca encourages Jamie to tell Emily how he feels. But after the show because she needs his head in the game. He overhears her photographer say something about 3 months in the Caymans. So, when Emily wants to talk about “after Christmas” he tells her to get a cab so he can talk to his family alone. YIKES.

Then,  Jamie does a TERRIBLE job as an inflatable unicorn in this play. Also WHY IS THERE AN INFLATABLE UNICORN? Then there is a quick series of unfortunate events where the confetti cannons go off and Jamie nearly gets knocked to the ground. It’s amazing and I laughed out loud.

After the show, Emily REALLY lets him have it. IT IS WELL DESERVED! She tells him he needs to tell her what he wants. And he can’t. All he is worried about is what he will tell his family. Oh no. They all heard the whole thing. So, there you go!

Later, Emily apologizes to Jamie’s family like an adult. They are gracious to her. Becca heads into her she shed and finds Jamie bundled up in a blanket, drinking. Becca gives him some advice.

I am not sure WHAT TIME IT IS because this is the longest Christmas Eve EVER at this point. Anyway, Jamie has a second heart to heart with his dad. AND HE STILL HASN’T WRITTEN ANYTHING FOR THE SPEECH TOMORROW. OMG What is happening? He finally has inspiration. You guys he would be so fired a WEEK AGO.

Jamie wears another cardigan on Christmas morning. The family has not waited for him to open gifts. The grandma has a great sweater too. Jamie wants to eat breakfast but the family isn’t hungry. They are all very sad that Emily is not there. Finally, he tells them all to get their coats. They’re going to win back Emily as a team! I love it.

At the speech site, Gina tells Jamie that the Governor is doing her speech from Springfield because her daughter had an asthma attack and also because she felt like it. But Gina had NO NOTES on the speech Jamie wrote so that’s pretty satisfying and unlikely. Gina tells Jamie that Emily went to the train station and she was pretty disappointed that the Governor wasn’t there. Doesn’t that ruin the whole campaign? Like they’re going to use the video from her speech in their ad? Is that the plan? It’s not great. Better to wait for Jackie to get out there in the New Year honestly!! Anyway, Jamie and the crew head to the train station. Emily is watching the speech while she waits for her train. Then Jamie arrives. He gives a beautiful speech where he finally admits the dang truth to her. I don’t know that Jamie (EVEN TYLER HYNES’S JAMIE) deserves Emily.

Then they really kiss big ones! Sheesh. Oh, it’s still not over. They head back to that bar with that silly waiter in a totally pointless final scene. But oh well.

So, this movie was just fine. There is A LOT of silliness we need to overcome to enjoy watching these two together. BUT if you can do that. You will enjoy this movie quite a bit. It was funny and several of the characters got great lines and did really well together. You do really end up liking all the characters, which helps a lot. What did you think?

Our movie begins with a flashback to our leads Chris(mas) and Joe running the saddest roadside toy stand this country has ever seen. They are selling about 10 variations of a sad snowman figuring. A boy wanders up and just HAS to have one. Does he though? His mom takes pity on these two kids and gives them $4 for it.

Flash forward to today and the only decorations at Chris’s house are framed magazine covers of HERSELF. So that’s not weird, is it? She hustles into work and runs into Santa and he is not pleased. He gets pretty judgy with her and she engages for some reason. Upon arriving to work, Kathleen, the CEO of Arlo Toys, is already waiting for her. She blames her phone for setting the meeting time on Pacific. WE’VE ALL BEEN THERE, AMIRIGHT? Classic Outlook.

Kathleen is there to pitch a huge promotion to Chris. She wants to merge CJ’s Toys with Arlo Toys and put Chris as CEO of both so she can retire. Chris is like, YES PLEASE. But, wouldn’t she have to like talk to her own board? She can’t just agree unilaterally, right? Does she really not have her own executive team that would need to be consulted?

But there is ONE person she needs to convince- her cofounder, who is still on the articles of incorporation-Joe. He will need to sign the merger documents. That seems like a huge problem to her.

Seven years ago, Joe abruptly left the company and they haven’t spoken since. Apparently he just ghosted Chris because he didn’t sign over his share of the company or anything. He just stopped doing any work? Is he still getting paid? What was the deal there? WE NEVER FIND OUT. Poor Alice, Chris’s assistant, doesn’t seem like she’s firing on all cylinders.

Heather finally connects with Chris to tell her that she and her husband are getting to go on tour and they need someone to watch their daughter. OVER CHRISTMAS? What is happening? Also, she’s packing like they already said yes to the tour. Of course, their parents are on a cruise!!

Heather lays the guilt on HARD about Chris being so busy. So Chris agrees.

Emma is completely silent after her parents drop her off. She wonders where Chris’s Christmas tree is. WOW this family is SO JUDGY. Is Emma an idiot? She’s like, why don’t you have any toys on display? Like I just decorate my house with law textbooks or something?

Heather walks Emma to school but is on the phone the whole time. They are super late for school. Oh no. They had cold pizza for breakfast because Chris has no food at her house. But at least Emma has her hair curled super nice and Chris has a beautiful blue coat. Santa stops her and says he knows where Joe is. So that was easy. Wait, is this Santa magic or just weird?

Chris is late to get Emma after school. Boy this poor kid is just having a miserable time. Emma is bummed because she can’t perform an original song at the Christmas performance but the school said no.

Chris decides the best thing to do is to take Emma with her to talk to Joe, her business partner, best friend from childhood and person with whom she hasn’t spoken in seven years. That seems appropriate! While there, Emma can’t seem to read a dang room to save her life and keeps interrupting their heated conversation to ask dumb questions. Joe finally agrees to sign the papers approving the merger if Chris will physically volunteer with his toy drive. She agrees. They pinky promise. So that is settled.

The next day, Chris arrives (late) to her volunteer duties wearing a lovely plaid coat. She accidentally raises her hand to help set up at the Jamboree location. I assume Santa waves to her as a trick. Later, Joe wonders why Chris wants to make money from her retail business. At the toy drive square, Emma tells Joe that she wrote that great song but is not allowed to perform it at her school concert. Joe suggests Emma perform her song at the Jamboree; but shouldn’t we hear it first? Just to be safe? Then they decide that Chris needs a Christmas tree. Chris is nearly catatonic over this.

Chris and Joe take EVERY opportunity to passively aggressively rehash the past. Joe doesn’t want to argue in front of the trees at the tree lot but they had no trouble arguing in front of Emma.

They bring their DEFINITELY REAL TREE back to the apartment. Joe arrives with a box of decorations.

The tree and her house are beautiful. While they’re decorating, Chris gets a call from Kathleen from Arlo’s toys. She is disappointed that Chris wasn’t at the office. Kathleen seemed nice before but she seems ALL BUSINESS NOW. Poor Emma has conked out on the couch. Chris has trouble keeping her eye on the clock! She’s going to bed too late on school nights! My nightmare as a parent. Chris notices one of their sad Styrofoam snowmen in Joe’s box of supplies. Somehow, it has held up! They start rehashing AGAIN. Geez Louise, you guys. Have it out or don’t!

Chris stays up really late working on her presentation and falls asleep at the counter. Do any of you think you would fall asleep all night like that? I know I couldn’t. Emma is definitely old enough to get ready for school on her own but she is still in her pajamas and playing guitar instead.

WOW Emma’s guest bedroom is SO CUTE. How old is she supposed to be though? She looks like a middle schooler but it seems like she’s playing way younger.

Emma wonders why there are no toys in the corporate office. EMMA. What does she want with toys? Chris explains a bunch of the toys from storage to Emma. She doesn’t like or understand how to use many of them. The company’s “research” apparently doesn’t include kid focus groups. Chris is like, well the research says this is what kids like. But Emma is like, you as an adult woman should play with these and see if they’re fun.

They donate all the toys in storage to the toy drive. We hear more rehashing of the past as they look at Joe’s designs for new toys.

Joe hosts a movie night for the toy drive and Chris offers to post about it on her social media to get more guests/donations. Joe is very touched.

They do the movie night old school style; with a rickety old projector that makes a lot of noise. Joe and Chris have a MOMENT of looking at each other and trying to think of something to say. I do like this idea though. I suppose it depends what part of the country they’re in though. An outdoor movie in December would be a nightmare in most of the country.

Kathleen arrives! What is she doing here?  She wanted to come and donate toys. She donates a solitary drone. Upon introductions, Joe can’t keep his TRAP SHUT. Wow he is rude to her.

Later, Joe is less than apologetic about his rudeness. But guys, he was REALLY rude. You don’t just unload on someone right when you’re meeting them, sheesh!

Joe comes to the office the next day to apologize to Chris. Then he suggests that they go ice skating to celebrate Emma’s last day of school before Winter Break. Chris takes them roller skating instead. TWIST. They have a MOMENT when they both wipe out.

Santa, or “Nick” arrives again. Nick invites them to the Christmas Café. It sounds like the most magical place in the world. Christmas desserts!! Nick has three tickets to go there, which is apparently the only way you can go? The tickets do NOT seem necessary any time hereafter. Just want to put that out there. At the Café, they reminisce about some dance in high school. Now they’re finally getting into their business split seven years ago. Chris immediately changes the subject.

Later, Joe and Chris play with all the donated toys instead of sorting them into categories. Or maybe both? Then they sketch out a new toy idea and argue AGAIN. I do sympathize with Chris here. But maybe she has lost sight of what makes a good toy? I’m not sure.

Later, Joe’s dad encourages him to tell Chris how he feels about her. He doesn’t want to because he thinks work always comes first to her. But guys, he doesn’t seem to respect her talents or her viewpoints on like actually running a business WHATSOEVER.

Outside, Nick talks to Chris and suggests that he really IS Santa.

Later, the gang heads back to the Christmas Café and play a hilarious reindeer themed video game.

The next morning, Chris is late to the presentation because Santa turned off her phone and she didn’t get any messages. So, she scrambles to the big Arlo presentation. Why is this all on her? Wouldn’t she have a whole team helping? Like, the CFO does the financials, the COO would do operations and the CEO would do one part too? Why does poor Chris have to do everything? Maybe the ending should be Chris restructuring her company to add an executive team and to learn to delegate.

Meanwhile, Chris helps Emma get all set up for her performance. I LOVE Kathleen’s dress in this scene.

Kathleen wants to go over some of the future toy lines after the presentation. Chris turns her down to help with the toy drive. Kathleen reminds her to get that signature from Joe. Chris is like, what do you think I’m doing? I feel like she should just tell her that they’ll sign it when it’s all finalized.

That night, Chris tucks that teen into bed and Emma suggest she marry Joe.

Now it’s time for the Jamboree. It looks like A LOT of fun. Emma gets ready for her performance. Emma’s parents make it in time to hear her sing. This audio is slightly better than the kid in A Christmas Family Tree but it is still pretty obvious Emma isn’t really singing.

Joe and Chris dance to the song. NO ONE ELSE DOES.

Kathleen approaches her after the performance. She lets her know that the board approved the merger with Chris as CEO. She doesn’t seem as thrilled now.

Joe approaches her and wants to talk. Chris thinks he is upset about how she decorated the tree. Joe just GOES FOR IT. GET IT JOE! He says he spent time with “the real Chris” which seems to make her think. She doesn’t think a relationship would work because she is about to be the CEO of a big company and JOE DOESN’T RESPECT HER. She is worried he only likes one small part of her-which is a fair concern! He doesn’t seem to like the ambitious side of her at all.

The next morning, Chris lets her alarm clock wake her the next morning and eats a sad bowl of cereal all alone. She arrives pretty business casual at work and sees Joe’s signature on the documents on her desk. She drops off toys to “Nick” on her way to Arlo’s Toys. Nick wonders if her work brings her the same joy as kids getting toys at Christmas. But like NO? Obviously not?

At Arlo Toys, Kathleen tells Chris the snow globe on her desk is a gift from her second husband. Kathleen reflects on her life, or lack thereof. Chris asks Kathleen if she has any regrets. I mean, she must if she’s retiring so early.

Meanwhile Joe works on fixing Chris’s ballerina toy and has a heart to heart with his dad. Joe stops by the office and Chris’s assistant tells him that she is at Kathleen’s office and asked her to get a bottle of champagne ready. He gives her the toy he fixed.

Later, Chris is at the Christmas Café with Heather and Emma. Emma will get to perform her original song at school! Heather and Chris chat. Heather can’t believe Chris is doing…what? She is going to see Joe and is really nervous. So, WE’LL SEE.

Chris tells Joe she didn’t move forward with the merger. GET ON WITH IT CHRIS. GEEZ LOUISE. She says there is no CJ’s Toys at all. She wants to start over with Joe and build the kind of company they always wanted to… I don’t get why they couldn’t do that with CJ’s or Arlos? I think this is probably the stupidest outcome of all. Wouldn’t she have been forced to sign a noncompete clause? And isn’t this how it all started initially, and it didn’t work out? Only now, they’ll also be dating! Oh, help me Rhonda. They pinky promise. And then she tells him she’s in love with him too and they kiss. Boy I have HIGH HOPES for this business.

We flash forward one year to the company Christmas party. Chris and Joe are dancing. Alice announces that one of the toys Joe designed-the “build your own dollhouse” toy is the “number 3 toy” on the market. Good for them. Are we thinking the Board at Arlo Toys wouldn’t like them doing different toys or what was the problem there?

Overall, I actually didn’t mind this one at all. I like Paul and Marisol together. They were super cute. I scratched my head plenty of times over the general company merger/CEO of both without anyone helping Chris but you know, we have to just let that go PRETTY OFTEN. Also, so like, that guy was Santa? And just kind of gently guiding Chris along? I don’t know. I could take or leave that whole bit. What did you think?

Guys, we did it. We made it through the last normal week before the chaos and insanity that is Thanksgiving at Hallmark. But we’re all still here and we’re all still going along for the ride. At the outset here, I want to say that I was pleasantly surprised with this movie. I came in with less than zero expectations. I don’t know. I didn’t watch Desperate Housewives. I don’t connect with the more “mature” story lines. So that’s where we began. Also, this title makes NO sense based on the storyline. I thought maybe he would need Joyce to fall in love with him or they would have to kiss before Christmas but Ethan’s quest has nothing to do with that. So, that’s where we are. But it was really cute with a few major exceptions. So, let’s dive in.

The movie begins with our lead Ethan (and he really is the main character of this story; unusual for a Hallmark movie!) in a big office building heading upstairs for a meeting? I realize this is a crucial plot point but I don’t remember. Anyway, Joyce is in the other elevator and holds the door for him.

Then, we flash forward twenty years. Joyce and Ethan are scrambling to get ready for the day. They have two teens who are busy in their own right. Ethan is stressed and distracted. He grumbles about taking the train to work and about all the expenses he has. He notices a brochure for “Winslow College” on the counter and wonders about it. He barely has time to remember to grab the cookies his son made for his office.

At work, he is a man of the people. He passes out cookies left and right. He knows everyone’s name. But Rona, the big boss, barely knows he exists. Time and again, he’s been passed up for promotions and he is just sick of it. At work, he chooses a very interesting way to determine what tuition would be at Winslow College. The information he finds is discouraging.

At home, he remains stressed and distracted. So distracted he doesn’t even have time to help his teen daughter fill out an application to soccer camp. I would argue that a girl that age would be fully capable of filling such an application out herself. BUT the point is that Ethan is a terrible dad. Right? That’s the point? Then we find out that the college pamphlet is actually for Joyce! Joyce tells Ethan that she thought she might go back to LAW SCHOOL now that the kids are getting older. You guys. YOU GUYS. Do I have time today? I JUST MIGHT. So let’s pretend that Terri is not 56 in this movie (which is her actual age.) Let’s pretend that she is 46. MY ISSUES REMAIN. Okay so let’s pretend she’s 46 and is talking to her husband about wanting to go back to law school. Her justification is as follows: she could contribute to their household income. It has always been her dream to be a lawyer. Okay, Joyce. So, law school is 3 years. That puts you at about 50 when you graduate. To be nice, let me send you to the state school I attended at the price I paid over ten years ago. Today, I have not made a DENT in my student loans. NOT A DENT. So, let’s all think about this realistically. Does someone want to hire a 50 year old entry level associate? Maybe. Is she going to make back her 75k in loans while putting her two children through college? When, exactly, is she going to be able to actually contribute to their family’s finances after recovering from the debt? And let me leave you (for now) with the advice I give everyone who asks me whether they should go to law school: NO. Don’t go.

Anyway, Ethan receives a stroke of good fortune when his money hungry boss, Sean, gives him an opportunity. Sean tells him that he lied to their boss, Rona, about the progress of an upcoming development and needs Ethan’s help. They have one final hold out in the existing building. Her refusal to cooperate has the potential to considerably delay construction. Sean promises that if Ethan can convince her to move, he will recommend Ethan for a VP slot. So the game is on.

Ethan heads right over to talk to this woman and cuts a deal. At the Christmas party…that night? Ethan fills Sean in on the great news. Sean is furious because the way Ethan has fixed this sort of still outs Sean’s lie that everything was all squared away already. He’s also mad that Ethan worked out a sweetheart rent deal for this newsstand when they could charge more to someone else. Ethan tries to reason with him but Sean only cares about appearances. I mean, that’s literally what he says. I actually can’t believe someone would be so stupid to admit that, but here we are. So Sean tells Ethan he needs to go fix it the right way.

He leaves the party to go ruin this poor newsstand owner’s Christmas. He calls his wife on the way to tell her he’ll be home late. She’s furious and thinks he’s making a huge mistake. Also, it’s Christmas EVE. While he’s waiting at the train station, he is approached by Santa. He sort of unloads 20 years of frustration to Santa and determines that if he had only gotten in the other elevator back then, his life would be so much better. Then he falls asleep. OH WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN.

He wakes up in the same bench and panics because it is morning. He is pretty frazzled because he’s spent Christmas Eve on a train station bench and assumes Joyce will be furious. But he can’t find her number in his phone and can’t get through to her. When he walks out of the train station, Sean’s driver is waiting for him which is very confusing to him. He rejects this man’s offer for a ride and scurries to his office, where he sees his own last name on the building. Apparently, he and Sean co own this development company since Rona retired. In the lobby, he is greeted by Joyce! Except she is the attorney that’s suing them over their intention to demolish a youth center for more office buildings. Because what else would a development company build?

Ethan is quite disheartened to learn that Joyce only knows him in this capacity and that his own company is demolishing this youth center. However, he is very delighted to see that this is the kind of lawyer Joyce would be. (To be clear, while endearing, this is NOT the type of practice that contributes much to their household income, which was one of Joyce’s earlier reasons for pursuing her degree. Just want you all to keep up.)

Upstairs, Ethan experiences surprise after surprise. He is now in Sean’s office and he has a fireplace. Everyone seems surprised when he greets them. But he is very happy with his new office, his color changing fireplace and his new suit. So things are looking up for old Ethan. He also gets his assistant to start working on winning Joyce over.

At the end of the day, Ethan is taken to his VERY NICE house. He is just tickled by this house. It is just what he thought he always deserved. So then Santa turns up again and fills him in. Ethan is getting to experience the reality he thinks he was meant for. It will stay this way if he doesn’t learn any lessons. Ethan asks about his kids. Well, since they were adopted, his kids exist in this alternate universe but are still in foster care. Ethan wonders why Santa can’t just make them his kids real quick. But, for some reason, Santa can only do this one very specific type of magic. He has until Christmas to make it right.

The next day, he learns he has a Ferrari, which is something he thinks his daughter will find amusing. But, he can’t tell her. Later, he wants to keep winning over Joyce and sends her favorite hot chocolate. Joyce is intrigued but doesn’t want him to think she cares. Ethan remembers that he knows exactly where she’ll be that night and heads that way.

Of course, Ethan finds Joyce at a tree lot. He offers to help her get her tree home if she promises to help him with something. He also tells her he wants to help her stop the youth center from being demolished. Joyce is all on board for that so she agrees. But, silly Ethan has driven the Ferrari.

At Joyce’s house, Ethan tells her THE WHOLE STORY. She promptly kicks him out. But then she walks outside and keeps talking to him about his situation. She doesn’t believe him but she kind of thinks he’s coming from a good place. I think that’s where we land at the end of the night?

Back at “home,” Ethan says goodnight to his talking coffee maker.

In the morning, Ethan runs into Rona on the street. She tells him she retired because she was tired of dealing with ruthless business people. H realizes that maybe he could do things his way after all. So, then he heads to the youth center to talk to Joyce.

At the youth center, they connect over similar childhoods-spending lots of time at youth centers themselves. Then he meets Collin and Trisha. He seems very emotional about seeing them and realizing they don’t know who he is. Outside, he tells Joyce that they adopted them when Collin was 3 and Trisha was 1. I think that is quite lovely. So, with a game plan all set, Ethan heads back to the office to fill Sean in. Sean thinks Ethan’s idea is terrible. Ethan’s solution for the dilapidated youth center is to host a few quick fundraisers. Sean hates that idea too. But I guess that doesn’t really matter because the next scene is at a phone bank.

The gang really hustles to answer the phones. Ethan arrives to help and catches a soccer ball that Trisha kicks his way. He asks if she has any camps coming up and tells her he has a daughter that plays soccer. BUT he doesn’t remember what position she plays. So that’s not good. Later, he meets his kids’ foster parents. They are really nice. He hears Trisha call the man “dad” and that just about kills Ethan’s insides completely. THIS dad has plenty of time to help Trisha with her application to soccer camp!

That night, Ethan and Joyce go out to dinner. He tells Joyce what she’s like in his reality. She thinks she sounds happy in that one. Okay so we are going to put this law school at 50 business to rest? No? Okay.

The next day, Ethan and Sean get interviewed on TV about their company going public. Ethan takes the opportunity to pitch their fundraising dinner for the youth center. BUT, after the interview, he briefly forgets about Trisha! His time to learn lessons is running out. The thought of losing his memories of his daughter scares him quite a lot!

That night they hold the fundraising event. They are still haven’t met their fundraising goal and Ethan and Joyce are optimistic but a little worried. He gets to work doing his best to subtly sabotaging everything. He tells Joyce he thinks Ethan is just doing this for publicity. Joyce walks out and Ethan catches her. He’s like, isn’t Sean the worst? And she’s like, yeah I guess he is.

Later, Ethan and Joyce attend yet another holiday party. This is his office Christmas party; annoyingly held on Christmas Eve. Is there a company on this Earth that holds its CHRISTMAS party on Christmas Eve? I want to know. Anyway, Rona shows up and casually announces she donated 2 million to make up the balance of the fundraiser. Sean remains annoyed at the whole thing because he’s the worst.

As Joyce and Ethan dance, Ethan starts to forget EVERYTHING big time. He and Joyce run into the hall and she tries to help him remember. He snaps back and Santa approaches. He tells Santa that he doesn’t want to forget his family and he got in the right elevator after all! That’s the magic word and he wake up on the train station bench again.

THIS TIME though, his office party is still happening, so he storms in and gets into it with Sean over the newsstand lease. Rona overhears and fires Sean on the spot. She offers Ethan his job but Ethan says he doesn’t want to take a promotion that will take time away from his family. Rona tells him that’s exactly who she wants in that position.

When he gets home, he foolishly tells Joyce that she can go ahead and go to law school. Whatever. I don’t care anymore. It doesn’t affect me. But Joyce, it’s a dumb idea. Anyway, the movie ends with Ethan being grateful for his family and promising Trisha he will help her with her soccer application. And that’s it!

Guys, I really liked this one! It was a fun watch and a reprieve from the heaviness of the past few weeks. I loved that even in his alternate reality, Ethan immediately pursued Joyce and had to tell her everything that was going on. He kept saying she’s the only person he can talk to and trust. And I loved that he needed her in any reality he was in. I loved that they adopted their kids from foster care and that Ethan really couldn’t be a bad guy if he tried. He was just a little run down. This was a true treat of a movie!

Well guys, here we are. The third movie of the week. Since I saw the preview and knew this movie was based on a sad country song, I’ve been trying to emotionally prepare. I figured this would be just nonstop tears. But you know what? It really wasn’t. There were some sweet sad moments, but I do feel I was adequately prepared. I did that super fun thing where I didn’t take notes again. I finished decorating my house for Christmas while I watched this one and I feel pretty pleased about the whole thing. Shall we?

The movie begins with a memory from our lead, Clara’s childhood. She is playing hide and seek with her grandpa in the bakery he owns. After the game, Grandpa Jeff tells her why he loves candy canes. He can think through a problem while he eats it and he usually has a solution by the time he’s done. That’s a cute little personality quirk.

We flash forward to the future as Clara heads out the door as an adult. She pauses to put a little candy cane on a picture of her with her grandpa. That’s a cute bit too.

Clara is an elementary school art teacher which cannot be a full-time job at any public school in America. She is very good at it though, obviously. On the way out of school, her boyfriend, Blake, a mismatch if I’ve ever seen one, asks her out to dinner. At first I think it’s just some sad fellow teacher crushing hard but it turns out that they’re actually dating. Poor guy. Clara seems happy enough to go out to dinner with him later that night though.

So, that night at dinner, Blake and Clara talk about their holiday plans. Blake has yet to meet Clara’s mother even though it sounds like they are really close. Regardless, Blake is all set to propose RIGHT THERE IN THE RESTAURANT. He has planned a proposal before meeting her family and without plans to spend the holiday together. I mean, what relationship does he think he’s in? Luckily for all of us, he drops the ring box as he tries to get it out of his coat. Clara sees it and has a quick moment of panic before abruptly changing the subject. She’s brought her mail with her to dinner, as you do, and decides to open a letter from the school. The contents are truly enough to sour the whole mood. The letter tells her that she will be let go at the end of the year because of budget cuts. So it’s a good thing she’s getting out of Dodge for a while. Or rather, heading straight TO Dodge, as it were.

Clara arrives home to chaos. I don’t know what her mom actually did at the shop while Jeff was alive but she has not been able to keep up. The house is littered with papers, the back office of the store is a disaster, and she’s working round the clock. She cannot keep up. Clara promises to help her get everything back on track.

The following day, she runs into her old high school flame, Logan. He had a whole military career and now is in the national guard. He wants to catch up over coffee or something but Clara insists she’ll be much too busy with her mom. So maybe next time, Logan!

Later, she works at the store and misses her grandpa, big time. As she leaves for the night, she wishes out loud for five more minutes with him. At home, she and her mom talk about how much work there is at the store and Clara suggests they hire someone to help.

The following morning, Clara HANDWRITES WITH CHALK a “help wanted sign.” So, three hours later, when she’s finally finished with that, she puts it in the window and heads in the back to inexplicably decorate gingerbread houses. HOW COULD THAT BE A NECESSARY TASK FOR THIS STORE? Do less you guys. Honestly.

Anyway, not a minute into this, a young man comes in looking for a job. He doesn’t have a thing on him-no resume, ID, references. Nothing. BUT he claims to have talked to Clara’s grandpa over the summer so that is good enough for her. She hires him on the spot, banking pretty hard that he is not a serial killer. IT COULD GO EITHER WAY AT THIS POINT.

But Christmas is about desperation and taking chances so, “Jay” gets right to work on deliveries, etc… His self-starter attitude allows Clara’s mom to both take the morning off and leisurely browse the town’s Christmas market. The dream, really. On his way out, after cleaning up the whole back office, he tells Clara he found an old journal. Oh, that’s interesting. It’s Jay, right? Just FOUND that journal, eh? Okay then.

At the Christmas market, Clara’s mom starts chatting with a man around her own age. They seem to hit it off and connect over both losing aging parents. She knew his mom and liked her a lot. He’s been getting more involved with the town’s business and asks if she plans to go to some planning meeting the following day? She really would like to.

Back at the store, I think Logan stops by and helps Clara with something. I don’t remember specifically. Anyway, Jay wanders in and suggests those two crazy kids head to the Christmas Tree Lighting that night. They think that’s not a completely terrible idea themselves.

At some point during this day, Clara cracks open that journal and discovers that her grandpa Jeff was really into a woman named Martha. The only problem is-that is NOT her grandma’s name. So, we’ve got a classic low stakes “Hallmark Mystery” on our hands at this point. We get some flash backs to Jeff’s memories of Martha. Does anyone notice how they don’t show “Young Jeff’s” face in any flash backs? That’s when I knew. Knew what, Cally? Oh, I won’t spoil it until the end. But I want you all to know that I KNEW THE WHOLE TIME, okay?

So anyway, they do all go to the Christmas Tree Lighting. Clara and Logan have a pretty heated discussion about how they broke up 20 years ago until they are interrupted by the Tree Lighting Countdown. After the lighting, they switch gears to talk about the journal. Logan turns into a tween girl and wants ALL THE HOT GOSS. He drives Clara home and they both get swept up in the story. Clara and her mom both arrive home with their “not dates” and have an awkward exchange at the door. Then Clara’s mom reminds her how she didn’t like how Logan ended things with her and that he signed up for a life in the army, generally. Clara is like, he’s not even my boyfriend so WHATEVER MOM.

I don’t think Clara checks in with her boyfriend until the following day. Like, a full day and a half after she arrived. This poor guy’s “did you make it?” text was left on “read” for a sold 36 hours. A guy she is so serious with, he felt ready to propose. Perhaps ol, Bah-lah-kay just can’t read a room. I don’t know. But Clara makes VERY LITTLE TIME FOR HIM.

After seeing what a great job “Jay” has done with the back office, Clara tasks him with the kitchen. Grandpa Jeff had a system only he understood. Jay is like, oh I can probably figure it out. OH, CAN YOU? Jay?

Jay continues to offer other helpful suggestions like selling some “extra inventory” at the market and taking the peppermint cookies out at the exact right time. Anyone notice how Clara’s mom never actually sees him? Just you know, saying things.

Because of all of Jay’s help, Clara’s mom has time to go to that city decoration meeting with her new pal. They get to know each other over a truly delightful looking cup of hot chocolate. He asks her on a real date but she’s not sure if she’s ready.

Meanwhile Clara and Logan get all set up at the Christmas market. Unfortunately, this is the time that Clara chooses to take Blake’s phone call so now Logan knows she has a boyfriend. This seems to bother Miss Clara BELL.

Clara’s mom eventually works up the courage to go on a date with this friend she’s made but by the end of the date, she decides she still isn’t ready.

As Clara spends more time with Logan, she realizes she needs to end things with Blake (I’m assuming.) She sends him a text that every person with anxiety absolutely dreads- “we need to talk.” And then proceeds to like, not to follow up AT ALL. So naturally, Blake just SHOWS UP. She breaks up with him and he’s like, well, I’m glad I at least got to meet your mom after all that. OKAY DUDE. So I’m glad we got that loose end tied up.

Eventually, Clara finds a card addressed TO MARTHA in her grandpa’s old room. She gets very excited about it and wants to see if she and Logan can track this woman down. After visiting 9 different houses, they get a good lead and head to the right Martha’s house. In all the excitement, Clara invites Logan to spend Christmas with her family. However, she rescinds that offer when Logan tells her he’s been called up to active duty again. So Clara leaves Martha’s card on her porch and scurries on home. So that’s the end of that I suppose.

On Christmas Eve, Clara and her mom get dinner all prepped. They seem to have an open house situation which is my mom’s dream as a host extraordinaire. In the midst of all this, they get a knock at their door. It’s MARTHA.

Martha sits down with the girls and fills in all the gaps with her and Jeff. As she leaves, she gives the girls an envelope of old photos of her and Jeff. Then, the motion detector goes off at the store. Clara offers to go check it out. ALONE. Smart.

When she gets there, she realizes its just silly old Jay fixing some of the Christmas lights. She invites him inside for a candy cane. They have a really lovely heart to heart. “Jay” gets emotional hearing about the things Martha said. WONDER WHY. Anyway, he tells her he was glad to help them out this week. He leaves and Clara knocks over her purse and the pictures Martha gave her spill out. We finally get a glimpse of young Jeff and IS ANYONE SURPRISED AT THIS PONIT? Clara runs out to find him and notices that his footprints just disappear. She looks up at the sky and sees a shooting star and thanks her grandpa.

She runs straight to Logan’s and tells him she doesn’t want to waste any more time and then brings him over to the house. The next day? Maybe? The house is full of people, including Clara’s mom’s friend and other family. Clara tells her mom she plans to look for jobs there so she can be close to Logan too. And I’m sure at some point Logan and Clara kiss but I don’t remember when! And that’s that.

Guys, all in in all, this was a lovely little movie. I thought it would be a nonstop cry fest but it really wasn’t! It was just an enjoyable, sweet watch. Nikki DeLoach remains a treasure and I thought she and her costar were a good pair. I liked the idea of her getting extra time with her grandpa as a young person without realizing it. And I LOVED that Christmas store. What did you think?

Alright so our next movie this week was “A Christmas Together with You.” I like Niall so I thought this movie might be a treat to watch. However, it should come as no surprise to you all that it is A LOT to not only find the time to watch these movies but to watch them in a way that allows me to like RECAP the entire dang thing. Here is the other dilemma, they are really long. I am sure they are too long. So I am trying an experiment here. How much can I remember about this movie without typing it all as I go? Can I go back to watching these movies while I decorate for Christmas or bake or whatever like in the good old days? Let’s find out.

The movie begins with our leading lady, Megan, chatting with her coworkers at a restaurant. Her wedding was supposed to be the following day but they ended their engagement six months ago! She is FINE THOUGH. Guys, she’s FINE. She takes a little work break to chat with her favorite customer, Frank. He is reading a book and is using an old picture of himself and his high school girlfriend as a bookmark. Frank tells her the whole story (his version, anyway) of their relationship and how they’ve lost touch.

Megan, no doubt spiraling on the eve of her would-be wedding, falls asleep trying to find this woman. In what would likely take a few minutes in this day and age, she finds an address in a town hours away. I don’t know how many hours, okay?

So, the following day, I realize I have tremendously underestimated the friendship of these two characters as I hear Megan pitch a road trip to find Frank’s lost love. He is, understandably weirded out and rejects her offer. Megan tries her best to hide her disappointment, as she’s basically put all of her pent up wedding feels into reconnecting Frank and his lost love Claire. A different waitress reminds Frank that today was Megan’s wedding day and while she is TOTALLY FINE she is actually NOT. So, Frank runs out to catch her decides to humor her with her fun road trip idea.

So, this crazy pair hit the road. They stop at the craziest truck stop I’ve ever seen. I actually rewound at this point because I thought I had missed them getting car trouble or SOMETHING because it truly didn’t make any sense. But they do stop at a truck stop. Steve, our leading man, is on the phone and doesn’t realize his VERY GOOD BOY has hopped up on Megan with his muddy paws. Instead of Megan letting the dog know that regardless, he is a GOOD boy and its no trouble because the mud will just wipe right off, she gets annoyed at Steve’s inability to manage him. Steve can’t bother to get off the phone the entire time which, in fairness would be pretty annoying.

Meanwhile, our boy Steve arrives at his parents’ hotel for the holidays. I think he is going to help them get the hotel back into fighting shape, or something like that. And he’s promised them a whole two weeks!

They arrive in Pinesville without making any hotel arrangements. I don’t remember how they decide on one, but upon entering a hotel lobby, a very familiar looking GOOD BOY greets them like long lost friends. Megan is like, doesn’t this dog look like the dog that jumped on me? And then she’s like, well I HOPE HIS OWNER HAS BETTER MANNERS and then ol Steve shows up and is like no, yeah it’s just me. And then offers a pretty satisfactory explanation of his rudeness, in my opinion. But NOBODY reassures Max the dog that he is a GOOD BOY. BTW, the dog’s name is a character name. So this dog had to pretend like his name was Max when it was really Dax. Why not let the dog use his own name? It’s not like “Max” was anything significant, right? That’s silly.

Anyway, Steve walks Frank and Megan over to the check in counter to find them some rooms. They are completely booked unfortunately. However, fortune is on their side when a grouchy old lady comes down and complains that they’ve been without HEAT in their room for like, TWO DAYS? And we are all supposed to be like, can we believe this lady? And well, YES I CAN. No heat? In a room I’m presumably paying hundreds of dollars for? I just. Like, really? Anyway Steve sees this as an opportunity and gives this woman a full refund. Conveniently this opens up a single room for our pals Megan and Frank. Guys, I don’t care how close they are. I am not sharing a hotel room with one of my restaurant patrons. Moreover, I’m not sharing a BATHROOM with this person, okay? It’s not happening. But they happily follow Steve to their room and Megan quickly offers to sleep on the couch.

So, the next day, they decide to head to Claire’s house, based on the address Megan found initially. The house is completely empty so Frank is ready to just pack it all in and head home. And he’s not even the one on the couch! Back at the hotel, they meet Steve’s parents, who are decorating the tree as Santa and Mrs. Claus. They tell Steve they’re not sure how much longer they are going to stay. Mrs. Claus encourages them to sign the guest book either way.

 As they nosily flip through the guestbook, they realize that Claire stayed at the hotel back in October and she left an address! They decide to check it out. The address is for a retirement home which makes Frank a little nervous. Megan continues to push him. He brings along her favorite flower, which Megan assures him is romantic, not creepy. IT MIGHT BE BOTH. Anyway, I think Frank mistakes a mute woman in a wheelchair for Claire, or maybe it is ruse to get in the building? I don’t remember. Anyway, he is kind of hanging around this wheelchair bound woman when Claire arrives. She is NOT happy to see him. He tries to invite her to coffee or out to dinner and she is a REAL HARD PASS on all of it. But inside her office, we the audience know she is conflicted.

Well, Megan is not ready to give up. She suggests that Frank just needs to work harder to win her back. Poor Frank agrees. So, the following night, they decide to go caroling to Claire’s house. Poor Frank sings their favorite Christmas song and Claire just shuts him down hard right in front of everyone. She reminds him that he was the one who broke up with her and she would appreciate him just leaving her be. So, Megan storms off to and feels like Frank didn’t really give her the full story. Frank tells Megan that the main reason they broke up was because her dad didn’t think he was good enough for her, particularly because he planned to propose to Claire with a homemade ring.

So, Megan decides to see if she can talk Claire into meeting with Frank.

Meanwhile, Megan and Steve are really getting pretty acquainted. She’s helping him wrap piles and piles of gifts. That whole dog business is water under the bridge at this point. For some reason, she also gets involved in some kind of holiday themed recess type game that involves passing a giant inflated ornament back and forth. When a child’s pass goes high, Steve takes the opportunity to catch Megan as she gets off balance. They are obviously eliminated from the game. Shortly thereafter, Steve gets a call from his caterer. They are two hours away from their annual Veteran’s lunch when the caterer cancels. Guys, the caterer would have had to be set up by then for this! In what world are they calling TWO HOURS before the lunch? Steve is panicked but Megan is ready to step in and help.

What I don’t realize, is that these guys are planning to serve a traditional Christmas dinner to these folks. And there is certainly not enough time for that. But they give it the old college try with a VERY CASUAL product placement for Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom Soup. Guys, it is EGREGIOUS. And poor Steven has to act absolutely blown away when the green bean casserole comes out of the oven. Like, it’s the best thing he’s ever seen. Look, “green bean casserole” is one of my favorite holiday dishes. But let’s not pretend it’s anything more than one ancient midwesterner’s attempt to choke down a green vegetable. And now we are all reaping the benefits. Anyway, not only is Steve eternally grateful that such a dish will grace the tables of this Veteran’s lunch, the guests are all just marveling at it. CAMPBELLS SOUP ladies and gentlemen. Campbells Soup saved this lunch from certain disaster.

So anyway, Megan did ultimately get through to Claire and she agrees to have dinner with Frank. However, at the end of the dinner, she STILL doesn’t want anything to do with him because she’s afraid of getting hurt. This lady! What else can we do at this point? Well, it’s pretty clear the answer is NOTHING.

So, Megan and Frank decide to head home. They are all loaded up and fully driving before they realize that Steve’s VERY GOOD BOY Max has joined them on the trip. So, they head back to return him. If my memory serves me correctly, they return to a Christmas party in full swing. Frank reconnects with Claire and finally tells her the whole story of why he never got back in touch with her and how her dad said he wasn’t good enough for her. I assume Claire and Steve also get together but at this point I have NO memory of it. Did she decide to open a restaurant there? Are she and Frank staying? I honestly don’t remember.

So, what did you think? What big plot points did I miss?

Guys its time for our favorite Blondie Blonde Head and whoever is starring alongside him. I can’t wait to see how many times he runs off to touch up his VERY NATURAL BLONDE HAIR. So obviously I am talking about Nantucket Noel. I’ve realized something over the years. To make 40 movies per Christmas Season, Hallmark recycles elements of movies over and over again. NOT TROPES. But sets and location specific components. For example, Nantucket Noel seems to just take the whole Christmas Sail set and pretend to be set on the east coast. I’m pretty sure it’s the same dock and there’s a Christmas Boat parade which we’ve NEVER seen in a Hallmark movie until this year. No judgment; just an observation. Anyway, let’s get after it before Trevor’s roots grow out.

The seaside town of Nantucket is all decked out for Christmas. It looks exactly like the town and set for Christmas Sail. Our leading lady,Christina and her pal (who’s name I never bother to catch) inspect a small Christmas Tree in a boat. I believe it’s the friend’s husband and I never catch his name nor do I know what their business is. I know they do jazz hands in nearly every scene hereafter but otherwise, I have no idea.

Trevor, playing Andy, is a busy businessman taking calls from the back seat of a town car. HE keeps his head low so none of his blonde root spray rubs off the ceiling of the car.

Wow now we get to witness the peaceful hand off between two SUPER CHILL Hallmark ex-spouses. Andy’s daughter, Wink, is reluctant to leave her mom because Andy is, as I mentioned earlier, a busy businessman who cares more about work than family. Also, Andy immediately starts out with the bar VERY HIGH as he promises Wink the BEST CHRISTMAS EVER. The ex-wife gets in a few jabs at Andy’s expense, which I appreciate! Like, hey don’t forget to spend time with your daughter! Get off your dang phone please!

Christina remains committed to that royal purple coat indoors as she remembers a moment with her mom as a child painting a mermaid mural on a wall of their toy shop. After putting in a solid 5 minutes of staring into space, she puts a “be back soon” sign on the door and leaves again.

She heads to the coffee shop to hear the hot town goss. Under that ugly coat was an absolutely adorable sweater. Anyway, this guy in town, Oscar, is retiring and they are going to redevelop the wharf. She and her pals are worried about the changes that may come with such a redevelopment. Christina mentions the boat parade. ANOTHER BOAT PARADE YOU SAY?

Andy, still suited up, shows Wink the wharf. It was her grandma’s favorite place. Andy forgets he’s talking to a child and gets super deep and philosophical. Wink doesn’t understand ANYTHING he’s talking about.

Andy’s hair remains nearly immovable as he takes a phone call outside. Wink is left standing idly by. And then somehow Christina trips and falls RIGHT into Andy’s arms. Wink thinks the dock might be sinking. Then, to add insult to injury, Christina struggles with the door to her toy shop again as she meets Andy and Wink. Christina invites them to the boat parade that night and then Andy is off on another phone call. Wink decides to wander into this incredibly sad toy store. There are like two small displays of hipster toys and twice as many fake wrapped presents. Christina catches Wink stealing a sad little stuffed mermaid toy. Christina uses the classic kid threat of Santa watching to make her feel bad about it. Andy lightly scolds Wink like a parent who is not used to discipline but Christina suggests she do some good old fashioned hard work tomorrow at the store to make it right. Christina is inexplicably wandering the store in her sock feet. Is this just a little garage sale of hers or is it AN ACTUAL PLACE OF BUSINESS?

Wink and Andy head to his dad’s place. Andy’s dad, Oscar (yes, THAT Oscar, if you’re paying attention) introduces him to “Janice” who is not his girlfriend but his housekeeper and chef. I wonder if anything is happening there.

They all head inside and Andy checks on his roots in the bathroom. He remains fully suited up, pocket square and everything. Businessmen love to wear their suits no matter where they are! Wink is upset about the lack of Christmas decorations in this house. I AM DYING DYING DYING OVER THIS HOUSE AND THIS VIEW AND I WANT TO GO THERE IMMEDIATELY. Oh I love this house so much I’m not going to be able to concentrate on Trevor’s blonde hair rapidly growing out to reveal the dark adult hair colored roots beneath.

That night at the boat parade, Christina and her pals chat about how cute Andy is. I much prefer Christina’s evening jacket. Andy arrives. He hasn’t changed his clothes. Anyone want to bet that he will wear a suit tomorrow even though he’s on vacation and has no meetings? Guys, I’ve been around a lot of real busy businessmen and even they don’t wear suits when the occasion calls for casual.

Anyway, it’s time for the boat parade. It’s hard to be snarky about this because I’ve decided I love Christmas boat parades. Andy has decided he loves boat parades too. Christina meets Andy’s dad, Oscar. He knows Janice too. Oh guys, Andy and Oscar’s last name is unfortunate and I’m not going to bother writing it down. Oscar kind of gets them on high alert. He mentions that he wants to put in a new marina and then basically tells Christina that they will all have to be out as soon as possible. He is kind of sassy with them about his little development project. But like, when was he going to give them official notice? He probably would have had some public meetings? Especially if any of it was owned by the city? Anyway, it gets REAL HEATED.

The next morning, Christina and friends meet at the coffee shop. They strategize about what to do to stop Oscar. Guys, if Christina wants to save her toy shop, she should probably start by selling more than like 10 sad little stuffed mermaid toys. Just so you know I’m sharing my honest feelings, I must admit that I love Christina’s sweater.

Later, Wink inspects her balcony and the ocean. Oscar sits at the table reading the newspaper. Wink wants to go get a Christmas tree. Okay well, surprise, surprise, Andy is in a full suit again. But I LOVE the color. I am not sure about the striped shirt but that green suit coat is great. Janice made cookies for Christina “from Oscar.” I am not sure cookies will help smooth over the whole, tearing down her mother’s toy shop to put in a marina but I guess it’s worth a shot! Wink says she likes Christina too. It’s not really about “liking” her though right? Wink has a great headband on too.

Andy drops Wink off to work with Christina. Christina gives Andy another earful about keeping the wharf just as it is. BUT GUYS THE TOY STORE NEEDS A MASSIVE REVAMP. It just does. It doesn’t deserve to stay there as is. I can’t imagine she’s turned a profit in years with that merchandise. But Christina manages to keep herself busy and teaches Wink to wrap gifts and I pause and take notes. Wink asks to call her mom. I think this is going to blow up on busy businessman Andy.

Speaking of the blonde devil, Andy walks and talks making more business calls. Christina tells Wink that her parents were divorced too and she didn’t see her dad very much. Andy is late to get Wink so the girls crank up the music and have a wrapping party. Wink asks a question she is entirely too old to ask- does Christina think they’ll see a mermaid? Christina unhelpfully responds “Not yet.” There is no one around to pat either of them on the head. Then the power goes out.

Andy arrives to the girls hanging around outside. Sure, that is the preferable option in THE WINTER. Christina tells him her power is out and an electrician can’t come for two days because homeowners having trouble with Christmas lights is the local priority. BUT SURE let’s let her keep her business in that location. For some reason, Andy knows something about electrical work and gets the power back on. Andy mentions that a shop on main street might be more cost effective and practical and have less electrical problems. Christina brushes the comment off. Regardless, she offers to help them find a tree the following day.

So, the three of them head to the tree lot. She promised to take them to a secret spot but this looks like a tree lot right in the center of town. Maybe she was joking. Christina, of course, knows an unusual amount about all the trees. She wonders if she can change his dad’s mind about the wharf. Christina is temporarily blinded as she accidentally stares directly into Andy’s hair.

Andy admits that regardless of what happens, their rent is going to go up and they’ll have to move. She tells him she doesn’t want to move because her mom started that store in that location. Andy asks, then why are you so intent on running it straight into the ground, both literally and figuratively? Basically, SHE IS TERRIFIED OF CHANGE. I would be upset about losing the mural her mom painted. That’s fair. But otherwise, WHAT are we doing here?

Don’t mind me, I’m just still DYING OVER OSCAR’S HOUSE. Move over, Janice. I want that job. Andy and Wink invite Christina to stay and decorate. I’d do anything they asked if it meant hanging around the house. Need me to mop the floor? On my hands and knees? Are we sure you don’t need me to run a vacuum over the stairs? Make dinner? I’LL DO ANYTHING.

Alright well now they’ve decorated the whole tree and it looks straight out of a Balsam Hill ad. Is it? Andy steps away to take a call so Christina hoists Wink up to put the lighthouse at the top of the tree. I like the idea of a lighthouse treetopper. Is it too basic? Oscar isn’t happy about the tree and tells Christina it wasn’t her place to get the tree or help put up the lighthouse or whatever. He seemed nice initially but now he’s kind of jerk. Andy only hears the tail end of his little tirade because of said business call. Meanwhile WINK REFUSES TO READ A ROOM and keeps asking Christina to read a story to her. Andy takes Christina home. Christina apologizes and asks if his dad hates Christmas. Andy tells her that his dad was probably triggered by watching Christina and Wink put on the lighthouse tree topper. It was something Oscar and his wife did together. Christina is like, well that information would have been helpful BEFORE you took that little business call. Christina gives Andy some advice about working. Andy is like, look, you run what must be the most unprofitable toy store in all the land on a delipidated wharf. I’m not going to take advice from you.

Later, Andy tells his dad to chill about the Christmas tree and the lighthouse. And I hope tells him how rude he was, but the water is RUNNING BEHIND ME AND I CAN’T HEAR. Oscar tells Andy that he had a great meeting with the rest of the wharf business owners. Oscar DOES NOT like Christina though. Andy encourages him to just talk to Christina on his own, but he doesn’t want to. Later, Andy watches Wink sleep in a completely lit bedroom.

The next morning, Andy is back in that royal blue suit. Janice is baking cookies with Wink. Andy asks if she can teach him but Wink has already promised her mom so there’s no time for both. Andy has to head into town for business purposes but tries to ask Wink to hang out later.

Meanwhile, in the coffee shop, Christina wears a beautiful maroon jacket. Why was she wearing that ugly purple one when she had so many other great ones? Christina’s pals tell her they accepted an offer from Oscar. Christina is like I can’t believe Oscar thinks he can just buy people out! And her friends are like, no that’s exactly what he can do. We are quite pleased to take his money and do something better with it.

Andy’s official business is actually browsing the pathetic toy store looking for something for Wink. He offers to help Christina find a new place and is striking out on ideas for Wink. This comes as no surprise considering there are about 15 choices and they are all some variation of a stuffed animal. Christina shows him that sad stuffed mermaid Wink tried to steal earlier. Later, one of Christina’s friends does a walking dramatic reading of “A Christmas Carol” along with actual caroling. Again, Andy tries to convince Christina to move her store into town. He points out that other people are happy to take his dad’s money. Christina insists that the wharf isn’t sinking and then says that’s part of its charm. THE SAFETY HAZARD. The ABSOLUTE IMMINENT DANGER of a wharf that is gradually sinking is “Charming.” Sure, Jan. Christina takes him out to the middle of nowhere to presumably murder him and dump his body to teach Oscar a lesson. Wait, no. She just took him to Mermaid Cove to see if they could find a mermaid. ANDY ASKS IF SHE’S SEEN A MERMAID AND SHE SAYS SHE’S STILL WAITING. GUYS. GUYS. If anyone desperately wanted to be a mermaid as a child it was ME. BUT THIS IS SOMETHING ELSE ENTIRELY. And no one pats either of them on the head. Andy wouldn’t permit it anyway for fear of his root touch up spray wearing off.

Andy tells her how hard it is to balance his work and life. Christina criticizes him for wearing a suit at the beach but to be fair, she forced him to go and it’s freezing out.

Later, Andy, Christina and Wink head to “Molly’s” restaurant to decorate gingerbread houses. Andy has a VERY AMBITIOUS vision for their gingerbread house. Guys, why are they calling all these activities the “Seaside Noel”? It’s stupid, right? Great. A Gingerbread building montage. Wow, Andy even took his jacket off for this. No wait, it’s back on. CONTINUITY. Andy takes a call and his house collapses. He PUTS THE PHONE AWAY to do some damage control as the timer runs out.

The judges are tough. Andy makes repairs I can only properly describe as “cheeky” to the house and they win. Later, they sit in the living room and rehash the whole story with grouchy old Oscar. Wink is still asking to read that gosh darn story. Her mom calls while she decorates an INSANELY GIGANTIC beautiful tree alone. Wink spills the beans about Christina too.

While Andy reads to Wink, Oscar looks on fondly.

Christina approaches her friends’ store or theatre troup? I am not sure what they sell or what they’re doing with the money.  But they use jazz hands to describe it. And I do know for sure that whatever they’re doing is essentially lighting all that money on fire. But the friends are having a closing sale and are gleefully moving downtown. Christina remains a stick in the mud. Molly, in an amazing sweater of her own, is also strongly considering moving. She wonders what is UP with Christina and Andy? And subtly encourages Christina to like, not think outside the box.

Back at Oscar’s, Andy has ditched the suits while he decorates cookies with Wink and Janice. Janice and Oscar reveal they knew each other as kids. Oscar asks Andy if Christina is interested in his offer to buy her out. Andy tells his dad that Christina is intent on going down with her ship. Oscar is not surprised. Andy wonders if there’s a way to make it all work. And Oscar is like it’s my way or the highway BUDDY! Andy is so distressed he runs upstairs to touch up his roots.

Janice, Andy and Wink with a third head band head into town to go see a movie. They run into Dora and Molly. Molly tells Andy that she hasn’t heard from Christina all day and is a little worried. The other ladies encourage Andy to go check on Christina. They basically give him a kick him out the door. Christina is at the shop, just working. I mean, yeah that is why she’s not at a movie in the middle of the day. It would be a bit absurd for her to close in the middle of the day to go see a movie, right? She tells Andy she’s working on a pitch to save the wharf. A wharf, which at this point, NO ONE ELSE CARES about saving except her. Everyone else is just diving into their room full of money Scrooge McDuck style. Instead of going to the movie, she asks Andy if he likes smores and she leads him… blindfolded to Mermaid Cove again? No, to a different spot where he can see the lighthouse. What about his quality time with his daughter at the movie? Okay now it’s NIGHT TIME? How long have they been there? Again, what about the quality time with Wink? They were supposed to see a matinee?  Who is taking care of her? Anyway, Christina seems to demonstrate to Andy for the first time how to make smores.

Christina calls Andy sweet and he tells her she’s beautiful and then THEY KISS. OMG. They kiss again!

Later, everyone gets all suited up for the “Snow Ball” and Festival of Trees. I didn’t know this event was on the agenda. Janice asks Oscar to save a dance for her. Everyone tells everyone they look nice. THEY DO. Dora and Wink wander off and Andy asks Christina to dance. Andy is confused about all the themes of each tree. SAME. They look ridiculous. Christina decides to talk to Oscar. Christina asks Oscar to reach a compromise. Oscar doesn’t really want to hear it. He isn’t going to derail his whole plan for her. I feel like if Christina could just blurt out that whole business about still grieving over her mom it would go a long way but she just can’t manage to get it out.

As she storms out, she literally runs into Andy. While Andy checks to make sure his hair hasn’t been damaged by this run in, Christina tells him how the shop is all she has left of her mom. Andy is like, well you should work through the grieving process a little more then. But then Andy turns around and really lets his dad have it. Honestly, this whole exchange is probably the best five minutes of the movie.

Later, Christina sits on a rock and talks to her mom out loud. Like a sane person.

Meanwhile, Oscar sits outside on his beach in a GREAT purple-y jacket. Janice comes out with hot chocolate. Oscar tells Janice she’s good to him even when he doesn’t deserve it. Oscar tells her that he regrets what he said to Christina and Andy. He sort of comes to his senses. Then Oscar admits that he likes Janice. She’s really cute about it. AND OMG THEY KISS. What is this rated?!

Meanwhile, Wink, in a fourth winter hat, asks Andy if he likes Christina. And she tells him she likes visiting Nantucket too. I think they are decorating the reindeer in the yard? In their unzipped jackets and no hats.

Oscar asks if Andy wants to take over the wharf project and spend more time in Nantucket. He is stoked about that. He asks for Oscar’s help in touching up his roots before he heads to talk to Christina.

Christina, walks aimlessly downtown with her unzipped jacket and no hat and notices that the “bistro” is closing. She wonders if Molly wants to share the space with her. FINALLY. Just what this town needs; a restaurant/toy store. That makes sense. But Christina is finally willing to move out of the wharf so we’re calling it a win.

She starts packing up the handful of items in the toy shop in a really great sweater dress. Oscar stops by and tells her that he was supposed to retire but he took on this project as a way to honor his wife’s legacy. He tells Christina that Andy will now be running the wharf project. Christina heads outside and see Andy holding a white blind fold? So now he’s taking her somewhere to murder her FOR ONCE.

The whole gang is there at the beach for “Christmas Eve Smores.” This seems cute. Oh, the whole wharf business community is there for smores. Then the friends reveal that they’ve made a canvas duplicate of her mom’s mural. SEE! That’s all she needed the whole time. Then Andy and Christina kiss again! And they all circle up to have smores. Andy sneaks into the woods for one last root touch up.

The next day, Christina joins Andy’s family for dinner. They laugh and laugh at Andy, who has gone one shade lighter hoping no one would notice.

Guys, this movie was so dumb. It is probably going to be down at the bottom for me. I really hate when people behave so irrationally as Christina did for the majority of this movie! So I did not enjoy it very much at all. I loved the boat parade of course. I love making fun of fellow blonde adults clinging to the last strands of their youth. But otherwise, I was VERY MUCH NOT A FAN. What did you think?

A Holiday in Harlem

Okay you guys. We did it. We made it through another week. Just in time for the marathon that is Thanksgiving week. It’s crazy, right? Okay let’s get into it.

Our grandma, Mama Belle, has a fabulous red coat and a Christmas broach situation. I love it! Also, we get a long shot of the happiest mailman in the land, Eric. He arrives at Mama Belle’s as she’s on her way out. He is delivering a package to her. She tells Eric the mailman that her granddaughter sends the same thing every year and never includes a note. AND MAMA BELLE HATES IT. She decides to reject the package so Eric can take it home.

Our leading lady, Jasmine and her boss have dinner and the conversation is definitely not ADR. She is offered a promotion RIGHT OUT OF THE GATE- Vice President for North America. Jasmine is not sure she wants the job. She doesn’t want to be in New York, even though her whole family is there. She tells her boss its complicated. GUYS. It turns out to NOT BE THAT COMPLICATED.

Back in Harlem, Mama Bell is supervising Caleb hanging lights in his own hardware store. Jasmine calls her to see what’s up with rejecting the package. Mama Belle is like, the annual fruit basket with no card is basically no gift at all so I don’t want it. Then, Jasmine inadvertently reveals she’s in New York so “Mama Belle” basically guilts her in to coming by before her flight to the Virgin Islands that evening.

Caleb’s pregnant sister, Katrina dumps her kids with him before heading to a doctor’s appointment.

Jasmine heads to Harlem. She stops at a little stand selling holiday clothing so she is dressed for “Yuletide Yoga” with her grandma. She really goes big. On her way she peeks into Caleb’s store. She comes in and meets Katrina’s kids. And we learn that she and Caleb were best friends. They have a weird little exchange and then Jasmine is off to Yuletide Yoga.

This is a yoga class I’d be in to for sure. It’s not Christmas themed POSES though to be clear. I WISH IT WAS. Jasmine struggles to make the pose and Mama Belle tries to help her for some reason. They obviously fall and Mama Belle hurts herself. They wind up at the hospital but Mama Belle doesn’t want to slow down or be impaired by this injury. They get to her apartment and realize she can’t get up the stairs as she’s wheelchair bound. The whole Christmas Jamboree planning group huddles around the stairs. Are they supposed to have a meeting or what’s happening? For some reason, Jasmine agrees to stay and help chair the Christmas Jamboree. I’m not sure what has moved her between Yuletide Yoga and now but whatever. Mama Belle agrees as long as Caleb helps her. I don’t really know why Mama Belle can’t chair this committee with a sprained ankle, but what do I know? Then, they turn on the lights of the apartment building.

Jasmine and Mama Belle finally get inside her house. Jasmine remembers it as the “neutral zone” for her parents to drop off and pick her up after they were divorced. Whew that’s a bummer. Caleb has fixed up a lot of things around the house for her. Mama Belle tells Jasmine that her mom is also in town and that Jasmine will need to draw a name for Secret Santa. I don’t understand this family dynamic yet.

On his way out, Jasmine thanks Caleb for looking out for her grandma. He adds her to the super official group text for planning the Jamboree. This is much less organized than Jasmine prefers.

The next day, Mama Belle is furious because Jasmine has cleaned up her office. But then she is quite pleased with what Jasmine’s done. Then Jasmine’s mom shows up. THIS WOMAN COULD BE JASMINE’S SISTER. I’m not sure Mama Belle is old enough to be her grandma either, to be clear. Jasmine’s mom wants to tell them all about her trip with her “special friend” which seems like Jasmine’s queue to leave. Oh her dad is also back from his trip in case anyone was wondering.

Jasmine holds the first meeting for the Jamboree team. They are all SASSY. She is very no nonsense business and wants to mix everything up. EVERYONE HATES IT. The man in charge of the fashion bash wants no part of the poetry slam. When Jasmine pushes it by trying to suggest he bring his “je ne sais quoi” to the poetry slam, he just says no. I laugh out loud.   

Caleb reminds her that she shouldn’t try to fix something that isn’t broken. I mean, it’s basically all planned and the wheels are in motion. Jasmine is NOT NEEDED. So, Jasmine tells the gang to forget everything she just said. Back at home, Mama Belle is baking. So, why can’t she chair the Jamboree business? Doesn’t seem to injured to me!

Jasmine picks a name out of the gold bag for secret Santa.

At the basketball court, Jasmine runs into her old basketball coach. The coach is now a city council person? Jasmine runs into her dad and apologizes for not calling him. He, much like her mother, alludes to the fact that they are in communication now. So what’s up with that? Also she seemed genuinely happy to see each member of her family so what about that is complicated?

 She seems to get along with everyone but she doesn’t keep in touch with them very well. I am not sure what’s going on here but we’ve now begun a shooting competition for children. After the competition, she runs into Katrina for the first time since arriving in Harlem. After the event, she and Caleb play basketball. He tells her he used to watch all her games and keep her stats.

The next day, Jasmine and Katrina catch up at the store. She is looking for Caleb. Outside, Katrina tells Jasmine that Caleb carried mistletoe in his pocket to try and kiss Jasmine. WHAT. Jasmine is surprised. That’s cute and weird. They get a tree for the store. At the hardware store, the whole gang does some reminiscing and then she and Caleb head out to eat.

Caleb introduces her to the owner of the restaurant and he tells her its all on the house. Jasmine asks if this is a date. She reminds Caleb she’s leaving after Jamboree. The owner of the restaurant really wants to host the Christmas Eve dinner, but he never wins the lottery that Mama Belle established to choose the restaurant.

Caleb asks what happened to their friendship. He basically didn’t hear anything from her after she left for college. I don’t really understand what her explanation is. IT’S NOT GREAT. That’s FOR DANG SURE.

Caleb and Jasmine stroll home and talk about the Jamboree.

Okay now it’s poetry slam time. This seems like the silliest component of the Jamboree. Great, now, Caleb is reading a poem. Help me, Ronda. Jasmine sees her parents at the poetry slam. TOGETHER. I still don’t believe this woman is her mother. Jasmine is SHOCKED. And not very happy about them getting back together. Also, their reason for divorcing was basically that they didn’t want to ever argue in front of her? I think?

Later Jasmine gets home to hear Mama Belle on the phone with that restaurant owner that wants to host the Christmas Eve dinner. He’s started a rebellion against the lottery. AND EVERYONE IS REVOLTING.

Jasmine gets a call from her boss and vents a little about her family. That seems inappropriate, right? Also, what’s there to complaint about? Everyone is really nice and she is happy to see them and the only work for the Jamboree is work she’s creating herself. Also, what was that boss calling about in the first place?

Back at Mama Belle’s, Jasmine’s mom is pounding a cup or either coffee or hot chocolate just FILLED with marshmallows. At this hour?

Jasmine heads over to Caleb’s and learns about his furniture restoration and design hobby. They head over to talk to Sam and his little social media rebellion. She gets Sam to back down by threatening to post a scathing review on social media to her 100k followers. She admits to Caleb she may have added a few zeros to her follower count. Back at home, Mama Belle has changed her tune about the lottery. So now, Jasmine is stuck trying samples of meals from chefs all over the neighborhood.

Tonight it’s time for the “Fashion Bash,” Mr. Je Nais Se Quoi is all over this. Jasmine’s dad just like does his THING up on that catwalk. Caleb says something that Jasmine thinks is brilliant but I can’t hear over the clapping. Jasmine tells Mama Belle that she thinks everyone should cook for Christmas Eve. It will be a block party-food trucks, etc… I LOVE IT.

The Jamboree committee is STOKED. They are all on board. Jasmine hits a snag at the city office. She didn’t file the required permits on time. LUCKILY her old basketball coach is on the city council and pulls some strings.

Alright, it’s BLOCK PARTY TIME. Well, it’s time to set up anyway.

After the prep work, Jasmine and Caleb head back to his apartment. She suggests he sell the furniture he refinishes or whatever. Caleb gets a little salty because he feels like he needs to take care of his family and Jasmine is being judgy…or something. Mama Belle knows she’s sad when she gets home.

Caleb tells Katrina about his fight with Jasmine. Katrina is like, well Jasmine is right. We should expand the store and you should sell your furniture here. JUST DON’T QUIT YOUR DAY JOB, GIRLFRIEND.

Jasmine talks to her mom about Caleb. Well, her mom sniffs it out of her. Jasmine tells her mom what it was like for her while her parents were going through their divorce. Her mom acts like this is the first time she’s ever realized that the divorce impacted her daughter in anyway.

It’s time to head to the block party. Jasmine realizes she forgot to get her secret Santa gift. No worries, she’ll get some overpriced knickknack at the party! (Spoiler, that is JUST what she does.) As they walk outside, they don’t see many people mingling. Jasmine decides to play some music but the speakers aren’t working or something. Jasmine meets Katrina’s husband finally. He agrees to DJ the block party because that is his actual profession but NO ONE LAUGHS when he tells them. Caleb wonders if they’re going to talk or if he’s going to get the silent treatment. They apologize and then he tells Jasmine that he and Katrina are considering expanding the store!

Katrina’s husband really cranks the party up with his DJ skills. I feel like Jasmine’s one contribution, to plug her iphone into speakers, was the stupidest part of this plan. The party didn’t come alive until they had a professional DJ. Now the whole street is dancing, including Jasmine and Caleb. Mama Belle pulls Jasmine away for a moment. She asks Jasmine what her plans are after Christmas. She tells her she’s really missed Jasmine. And she warns her not to lead Caleb on if she’s not planning to stay. She’s pretty tough!

Jasmine is emotional now when Caleb asks if she wants to dance more. So, she tells Caleb she’s going home. He gets kind of snippy with her.

The next morning, the whole family is together for Christmas. Jasmine is wearing the BEST sweater! Jasmine’s mom and grandma wonder if it’s time to share their family mac and cheese recipe. Um, yes please I would like that recipe as well. I’m keeping my eyes peeled for any secret ingredients but I haven’t seen any yet. After it goes in the oven, Jasmine inspects the Secret Santa bag. ALL the names are Caleb which means her grandma HAS been fixing the Secret Santa exchange FOR YEARS.

She is so happy about this that she tells the ladies about her promotion and that she’s going to take it. Later, Jasmine’s dad shakes his gift to see what he got. He tells her he’s excited to finally spend Christmas all together. They just OPEN a random present for some reason?

Then the whole crew arrives. Jasmine wants to talk to Caleb but he says they should do it later. At dinner, Grandma Belle announces Jasmine’s new job. NOW Caleb wants to talk. Later, Jasmine sits outside by herself. Caleb finds her. He wonders why she decided to stay around. She says there are too many reasons INCLUDING HIM. Then she gives him her gift. It’s an ornament. OH it’s a mistletoe ornament. That’s kind of cute. And then THEY KISS. Oh that’s cute.

This movie was just fine. I feel like it’s mostly your standard Hallmark movie with a few fun twists! Definitely worth a watch while you’re baking or folding laundry or whatever.

One December Night

The movie begins with a journey through time of Steve Bedford and Mike Sullivan, a big time Rock duo or folk group or something. I don’t know. Anyway we watch snippets starting with them singing their big hits, ending with the band’s dissolution. Flash forward to ten years later. Quinn, our leading lady, holds two DEFINITELY FULL cups of coffee stacked on top of each other, as you do with two hot, heavy drinks. She’s talking about music reviews on the phone and sees a very good singer outside the coffee shop. Also, I think Eloise should just use her real name in every movie. If I had a girl child, ELOISE would be at the top of my list of names. Quinn knows this singer, Addison. In fact, she is working on getting her a record deal or a concert tour or something.

Quinn heads into work and talks more about Addison to her friend and coworker. She is working on getting her a spot on someone’s tour. Anybody’s tour! Laurel last weekend and now Quinn is really pushing me towards a shorter hair cut. She plays Addison’s song in the office and her boss tells her to turn it down. Steve’s manager, Jason, calls Diane, Quinn’s boss. Diane seems fun. She’s enlisted her nephew Troy with the unfortunate hair cut and work ethic to be the producer of the big live reunion show for Bedford and Sullivan. Diane takes Quinn out for a second round of coffee and asks Quinn about Bedford and Sullivan. They are reuniting. Diane wants Quinn to talk to Mike and convince him to do the concert because well BOMBSHELL, he’s her dad. She doesn’t want to do it. She agrees to do it if Diane gives Addison a tour spot. Diane turns kind of cool at the end of that scene there. So I think Diane’s company represents Mike but Quinn is NOT on that account and seems surprised that Diane knows that Mike is her dad. And to that I say, really, Quinn?

Quinn heads to see her dad. I missed whether they are estranged or get along or whatever. Update: they are estranged. Quinn stays in a hotel? That’s weird right? The hotel clerk recognizes her last name and Quinn just suffers through that whole interaction.

Steve and Jason get all set up to practice for the big show. Mike still isn’t interested in showing up or practicing. Why have they booked a show if he won’t do it? I feel like I missed some important background dialogue but there’s no going back now.

That night, Quinn heads to the local gift shop. There is band merch everywhere. Actually they should just call it a Bedford and Sullivan gift shop because that seems to be all that’s for sale. She is planning to meet Steve’s band manager there. It is her old pal Jason. So, Steve is his dad. Guys, this store in general has me scratching my head throughout. Is it a Christmas store? Is it a band merch store? Is it just a quaint small town knickknack shop? OR IS IT ALL OF THE ABOVE. And why were they meeting at this store? Does Jason own it? SO MANY QUESTIONS.

They decide to talk at their favorite diner. We hear some backstory-that Steve scammed Mike out of half the publishing rights at some point but it sounds like things were tense before and after that. Quinn thinks Steve was just out for himself but Jason says her dad was completely uncooperative. And more drama that who cares. Frenchie, from Grease, is their waitress. Jason tells Quinn there is a photo shoot tomorrow for promotional photos and Mike needs to be there.

Jason and Steve burn the midnight oil. Or maybe it’s morning because who knows what time it is ever in a Hallmark movie? Jason tells Steve that he’s been offered a residency in Las Vegas. Steve is like, cool beans, but I am really going to town on signing these albums so let’s talk about it later.

Quinn heads to her dad’s house. She seems to be dreading it. Mike opens the door and seems happy to see her.

She and her dad have a tense little back and forth when he realizes she’s there for work because obviously he doesn’t want to do any work. There is some UNFINISHED BUSINESS between these two. He seems happy to see her but it is NOT mutual.

Quinn heads back to the gift shop. This place is just packed with Christmas stuff. Again, what kind of store is it? Back at the hotel, Jason gets Steve a new room key because Steve lost his. Steve jovially takes pictures with fans. He doesn’t want to do the photo shoot without Mike. I don’t get why they’re trying to force this concert? Like who wanted to do the concert initially? Why? Quinn shares that she hasn’t talked to her dad in eight years. Or maybe she hasn’t been home in eight years? I really don’t know. She somehow is able to separate the horrible things Steve did to her dad business wise from “Uncle Steve” her family and friend. So she was genuinely happy to see him. I actually don’t think I could do that. But she tells Jason that Steve has always been good to her. Again, I just feel like if you’ve treated my parents poorly I would have a hard time separating that. OH WELL.

However, this compartmentalization gets Quinn thinking. She suggests that she and Jason switch parents to get this reunion to happen.

The next morning, Troy comes in with some BAD news from the network. Bless his heart. He just hasn’t found what he’s good at. Quinn’s idea is already working. She’s taken Steve out for some hang time which ultimately leads to Steve agreeing to take solo photos for the promotional posters. Quinn drives Jason to Mike’s house and shows him the secret knock to get Mike to answer the door. They look through old photos together. Somehow their little convo gets Mike to agree to do his photos too. These sneaky sneaks!

Mike and Steve reconnect and it’s…fun. They’re having a blast catching up. SARCASM. Bless Troy’s heart. He somehow minored in photography in college so he’s going to take the photos after sending the photographer home. The boys have the poses down. Troy manages to keep his thumb away from the camera lens.

Quinn and Jason debrief at the diner with Frenchie. Quinn has a great jacket on. Frenchie tells them their dad’s music really touches people.

Jason walks in on his dad signing both sides of a bunch of records. He seems really obsessed with signing them. Jason reminds him he only needs to sign one side of it and Steve seems a little confused.

Later, Quinn stops by her dad’s house. She does some snooping (for WHAT, I don’t know) and is caught by her dad. Quinn and her dad have a conversation I don’t understand. He tells her he agreed to the show because he needs money. Quinn tells him he may need to start compromising or he’s going to be in big trouble, financially. I’m not really sure what his deal is other than just being like a bohemian artist?

Jason and Quinn walk and talk while Jason holds an armful of signed records.

The next day, Jason and Mike walk and talk in the woods on their way to go ice fishing. Boy, Jason and Quinn are SNEAKY. They are going to make great parents. Quinn and Steve take more photos in front of “Big Red” which is Mike’s house and also the place they recorded their first album. The house originally belonged to his parents. SO, why on earth does he still have a mortgage? Or he mortgaged Big Red to pay for something else? I am not sure. But anyway, the money is drying up. Quinn and Steve remember caroling back in the good old days. Lorraine and the kids show up. WHO IS LORRAINE? WHO ARE THESE KIDS?

Then Mike shows up and both guys agree to carol with the kids! Wow this seems like a big deal. Wow then, before we know it, the guys head inside to play the piano and sing together. Quinn and Jason sit outside so as to not get in the way. Quinn doesn’t want them to do anything to jinx it, including watching them play! Smart.

Later Quinn and Jason chat and decide to go shopping. Jason remembers really great Christmases with the Sullivans after his own parents split up. I missed this but is Jason wearing that sweater for real? Quinn and Jason have different memories of their dads growing up. It sounds like they were not your typical Hallmark dads, to say the least.

The next day, Jason wakes Quinn with an extension cord emergency. Mike needs 2000 feet of extension cords apparently. He is all set up OUTSIDE. He wants to practice outside so they can get used to the elements. Everyone agrees that’s a good idea. Also why didn’t anyone else think of that?

Addison has arrived to open the show and sings over a practice and prep montage. Mike and Steve continue to argue about everything. Quinn decorates Jason’s hotel room. Guys, the hotel is already pretty decorated. Troy remains TROY throughout. Lorraine is there too. WHO IS LORRAINE.

At some point in the future, Mike and Steve record radio promos. Steve makes a little mistake and gets a little defensive. He also gets a little confused in the middle of it. This feels a little ominous. I’ve always wondered how they record those local promos.

After recording the promos, Jason looks around desperately for a friend for lunch. There are no takers. As a consolation prize, Quinn offers to help decorate the town Christmas tree with him instead. I just feel like decorating a giant tree outside is not the same as lunch at a nice restaurant. Am I alone? Troy is there of course. He’s helping decorate the tree too. Then Troy has a rare moment of self-awareness about his abilities and the way in which he received his current job.

The next morning, Quinn is wearing another Christmas eye mask. Who sleeps with those on anyway? And why is it always still on her head when she answers the door. I mean, I know why. It’s so we can all see it. But IN REAL LIFE? Why.

Mike and Steve argue over the set list. No one is paying attention to Quinn’s adorable sweater. Steve delivers a pretty low blow when he mentions Mike’s deceased wife. So, Mike walks off the stage and that’s the end of practice for the day.

Later, Jason and Quinn rehash the day while they try and fix the bobblehead Mike broke on his way out. Jason agrees to try and call the network to tell them they will not be playing “One December Night.”

The next day, Steve tells Jason he wishes he could make things right. Now we’re getting somewhere.

Quinn asks Mike if he could use some help decorating his house. She has another great sweater. Then Jason and Steve arrive. We haven’t even begun to talk about Steve’s sweaters. Steve announces he is not there to fight. He shows Mike THE coin they flipped to decide the band’s name. He asks to flip a coin to see if they’ll do the show. Mike reiterates that they are not playing One December Night. The coin determines they will do the show BUT Jason reveals to Quinn that the coin is actually heads on both sides. And it seems like maybe it’s a bit they’re all in on except Quinn?

That night the gang goes to an adorable food truck festival/tree lighting. I feel like tree lightings this year have been underwhelming? Am I right about that? Later, Jason and Quinn go out to eat. MORE FOOD? When Jason learns that Mike doesn’t have a Christmas tree, he decides they must go get on immediately. They do somehow, find a tree in the middle of the night. They seem like they’re drunkenly trying to sneak this tree inside with all the giggling and shushing that’s happening. They quietly get it all decorated as well. WHOA and then they just start KISSING. And that’s when Mike decides to come downstairs. He is glad to have the tree and I’m not sure if he’s glad about the rest of it.

Quinn and Jason walk up to the hotel and talk. She says that her dad had a heavy drinking problem and she was all alone when her mom died. Whew. It’s A LOT. I don’t really know where all that came from. I thought she wanted to talk about kissing Jason.

The next day, Quinn learns that they have to play One December Night or the show is cancelled. They have some ideas to accomplish this, none of which are great. One idea is to have Steve record himself singing it on his own and cutting that into the broadcast. Obviously that would infuriate Mike. So, Quinn decides to talk to him. He is home, decorating for Christmas. Quinn continues to be sneaky and suggests they make shortbread cookies. Mike tells her that her mom always made his mom’s shortbread recipe even though the cookies were terrible. That’s kind of sweet. After a lovely afternoon of baking, Mike knows she has an ulterior motive for coming by. Quinn gives him the bad news. He still doesn’t want to sing the song and is ready to lose the house over it. Then, he apologizes to Quinn for basically her whole childhood and while her mom was dying. She just jumps up and hugs him. It’s a nice moment.

Steve makes an executive decision about the show-he’s going to sing One December Night because it might be their last show and they all need it to happen. He tells Jason he cannot do the residency in Vegas. He admits something we’ve all suspected this whole time. He has Alzheimer’s. They have a nice father son moment too about this revelation. WHEW THERE IS A LOT HAPPENING IN THIS MOVIE.

Addison arrives to open the show. She is star struck. Jason the whole group together to tell them that they shot the version of One December Night without Mike. Or maybe to tell them about the Alzheimer’s business? But he doesn’t have to because Mike agrees to do the song. Oh yay! BUT THEN, Troy comes in and before anyone can stop him, he admits that they shot a version of Steve singing it alone which blows the whole thing up. He bravely tries to take the blame but the damage is done. Mike and Quinn are pretty lit up about the whole thing.

Outside, Quinn tells Addison the show might not happen. Addison is unruffled about it. I find this whole interaction pretty unbelievable. She just knows that Quinn will pull through for everyone. NO PRESSURE THOUGH. Quinn tells Troy to unload the equipment because she is confident the show will happen. Is she not super mad about the whole recording the sacred song behind Mike’s back business?  Jason makes a phone call of his own. Quinn heads to her dad’s house. Are we worried he’s drinking? Oh, no he’s shoveling shortbread cookies into his mouth. She talks to him about the whole Steve betrayal business. I think we have all begun to understand why he did it. I mean, why we think he did it-for both of them. Finally, Quinn pulls out the big guns and asks her dad to do the show for her. She needs it. I mean, yeah that’s true. Maybe she should have started with that 45 minutes ago? Quinn urges Mike to talk to Steve.

Mike approaches Steve in the midst of looking for his jacket out by all the trailers. Mike is like, your jacket wouldn’t be on the ground by all of these trailers. What is going on? They head into Big Red and Steve shares his big news. They have a lovely moment of reconciliation. Mike tells Steve they fought because they’re brothers. That’s pretty sweet.

Diane calls Quinn and is very proud of her for pulling it off. Then Jason arrives to tell Quinn the Alzheimer’s news.

Okay is it concert time? Addison is singing her heart out in an adorable sparkly dress. She’s DEFINITELY REALLY SINGING, GUYS.

Steve and Mike get ready to go on. Mike helps Steve remember the words. I don’t remember Steve struggling with the lyrics from their songs at all during the whole movie but maybe it just a show of support. They introduce each other and do a fun little jokey old dude banter. It’s cute. I’m here for it. Off stage, Jason and Quinn are quite happy with themselves. Guys I kind of like One December Night the song. No that wasn’t the one. Now they’re singing it. Mike dedicates it to Quinn and her mom. This one is fine for old people, I guess. While they sing, Jason tells Quinn he has a present for her. Jason tells her he’s created a new contract to split the publishing rights between the two of them. So that was easy enough. Okay yes, I do like that song. But guys, IF he had agreed to do that from the beginning, we probably wouldn’t have needed this concert financially. I understand that we needed it emotionally. Obviously. But this, to me was the bigger issue to resolve.

Oh that isn’t the end of the movie. There is some kind of Christmas after party and Steve tells Jason a story he’s heard before. But what dad among us hasn’t done that? Quinn tells Jason she’s thinking of splitting her time between Pineville and the city. They KISS and their DADS see. OMG wouldn’t you just DIE? They all say Merry Christmas to each other and that’s the end of that!  OH NO They kiss again.

Guys this movie was a lot. Hallmark tried to pile on too many sad things. I mean, add a kid with cancer who won’t make it to Christmas and we’ve got a full Bingo. I liked this movie though. It was a totally unique concept and I liked the dynamic of the kids and their dads. But it was a HEAVY movie. I am ready for more Santa Stakeout type movies at this point. I need some wild silliness and ugly sweaters! PLEASE. What did you think?

A Christmas Family Tree

Okay guys, here we are. Second movie of the weekend. How are we all feeling? I gotta tell you, I really needed some levity this weekend and I’m not really sure I got it. Hoping Hallmark isn’t just a foster care sob fest every dang weekend because my heart can’t take it.

So the movie begins with some weird background music. It’s a really jarring Christmas song. I HATE IT. Vanessa is at work early. She looks longingly at a picture of someone’s family on their desk and then hurriedly leaves a bunch of gifts on everyone’s desks. The rest of the office arrives but nobody says thank you.

Later, Vanessa takes a phone call right in the middle of the office.

A family stops by to tell Vanessa how thankful they are for her. Wow they even break out into song. Well, two lines of We Wish You A Merry Christmas. Then they invite her for Christmas. Wow. Presumptuous. What did she do for them? I am assuming this couple adopted some combination of the children in front of us.

That evening, Vanessa strolls around outside, helping people as she goes. Then she walks into her beautifully decorated apartment. She gives her dog, Mickey, a present. He seems like a perfectly fine boy though small dogs aren’t my jam. Her friend/neighbor/coworker? arrives and judges her for being in sweats by 8:30. I mean, you guys, 8:30 is basically the middle of the night so I don’t see the problem. Then her friend judges every single one of us that watch all these movies. So, what’s that about? You’re the one making these movies, Hallmark! What are we going to do? Not watch them?

Then the friend asks if she got her ancestry DNA results. Casual Charles Schwab advertisement on the table? She reads through the breakdown of her heritage and then she realizes she has a paternal match. She’s too afraid to see who it is. It turns out that her biological dad is an hour away! They immediately look him up on social media.  She says, “He has a family.” Then her friend says, “That means you have a family.”  Oh, it’s too early for this. The friend wonders if he might be looking for her too! Vanessa agrees to email him.

We flash to her dad, Richard, falling off his roof putting up Christmas lights. Was it because of the email? His home is BEAUTIFULLY DECORATED. With ribbons on all the cabinet doors and all manner of other practical decoration. Then he tells his wife, Pauline that he thinks he has a daughter. He was dating a woman and got deployed and couldn’t find her when he got back. Pauline is the most chill wife in all the land and suggests that he call her. She’s chill like the mom in Elf is chill. So, Richard just CALLS Vanessa. No warning. Just cold calls her. Wow. Vanessa is a mess. Wow. It’s awkward. We all agree. But what else would you even say? He asks if she’d like to meet in person. I mean, we’ve only got 80 minutes here so we can’t waste a second trying to decide if we should meet him, I suppose. Richard is ready to just jump in the car and drive to the city to meet her.

They meet at a park next to her house. Richard just hugs her. So everyone is just perfectly calm and fine about all of this right away. They go get hot chocolate. Vanessa delivers heartbreaking detail after heartbreaking detail about her life up until that point. It is frankly, too much to bear. She tells Richard that her mom died when she was nine and she ended up in foster care. She says a couple fostered her until college. Why didn’t they adopt her? I don’t get this. She didn’t have any relatives. The case should have moved to permanency at some point? Vanessa works at a foster care agency now. Then she asks what happened with him and her mom. He tells her he never knew about her and never knew what happened to “Trish” who Vanessa called “Patty.” Well that’s curious. Then Richard invites her to spend Christmas with his family. WHOA. I mean, that is A LOT right? He then suggests that a new stranger pick her up and bring her to his house-a place she has never been, filled with additional people she doesn’t know. All because of a notification on a for-profit genealogy website. ARE WE REALLY GOING TO DO THIS? Guys we are verging dangerously on horror movie territory.

But Chris is super cute, so Vanessa agrees to hop into his car. Chris worries he is the lead in a horror movie of his own and asks, so, like, why are you coming to spend Christmas with this family? I’ve never met you.  Vanessa is like, Richard didn’t tell you? OH GIRL let me catch you up.

They stop on this one-hour drive for a sit down coffee, as you do. OMG A TYLER HYNES CAMEO. WHAT. A BEARDLESS TYLER HYNES CAMEO. Okay let me recover.

Okay.  Chris says his dad and Richard were friends in the army. Chris is a “corporate attorney.” So, do you work for a company? Or help corporations get started? Or what? IT DOESN’T MATTER.

They arrive at Richard’s house and Chris reassures her that she is now part of a really great family. Richard has an awkward exchange with his kids about how Vanessa exists. When I say awkward, I mean, I like, hid behind my chair so I wouldn’t have to be part of it.

Pauline shows her around and says that Richard usually does all the Christmas decorations. Their youngest, Amelia, is kind of a sour patch kid. Richard immediately kicks Vanessa out of the house upon learning she’s a Mets and Jets fan. Then She sees all the monogramed stockings. Richard leads her into a GIGANTIC guest bedroom. Bedrooms are SO big in Hallmark movies.

Vanessa catches up the BFF that night. She wants to know about Chris. There are bows everywhere. Chris knocks on her door to inform her that dinner is ready. I hope Chris doesn’t end up being her brother.

They apparently have some kind NORWEGIAN dinner that I’ve never heard of. It’s lamb, so that’s probably why.  Richard is Norwegian. LIKE SUPER NORWEGIAN. More Norwegian than me, apparently, and I lived there briefly. But Vanessa didn’t score hardly any Norwegian points; so what’s up with that? After dinner, they have Griswold family light reveal. Then the poor giant Santa starts deflating. Meanwhile, Richard’s son Aiden bonds with Mickey the dog. Did I mention the dog yet? He seems fine. He’s small. He’s not in the way. I don’t think he’s caused any damage to the house. It’s fine.

 Vanessa tells Aiden she’s always wanted a brother. And then Aiden says he’s always wanted one too. So that’s the end of that. BTW that is a very on brand sort of kid response to such a deep, unexpected comment. Then the crew has a lovely time roasting marshmallows. What even time is it?

Richard says tells Vanessa he met her mom in Providence, Rhode Island. That seems weird to Vanessa. Her mom has never mentioned living in Providence. So what’s up with that? Then Pauline says she doesn’t want the girls to think of Vanessa as only a half-sister. Pauline continuing to hold her title as CHILLEST WIFE IN THE LAND. Then Vanessa gets an email from the Ancestry place telling her to call them right away.

The next day, the whole gang goes Christmas tree shopping. Actually, just the dudes and Vanessa go. That seems like poor planning on everyone’s part.  Chris and Vanessa quickly find themselves on their own. Vanessa asks Chris why he spends so much time with Richard’s family. Chris reveals that his parents died while driving to visit him in law school. Richard pushed him to spend the holidays with them from then on. I LOVE Vanessa’s coat. They stumble on the perfect tree.

Later, while decorating said tree, Pauline tells Vanessa that something happened at choir rehearsal today but Amelia won’t tell her what. Vanessa takes a stab at relating to this little sour patch kid. Amelia says she doesn’t want to do the solo anymore. Vanessa gives her some good advice about stage fright. I want to be clear though, Vanessa approaches her like any person who is unfamiliar with kids would approach a child. In my experience, you need to be MUCH sneakier if you want children to volunteer that sort of information.

Lots of Norwegian tree ornaments in the mix! Amelia puts the star on. Vanessa tells them about her family traditions which are small and sad by comparison. It bums everyone out. Later, Vanessa stares at the tree in the dark. Chris creeps up behind her. After a brief exchange where Vanessa, surprisingly DOES NOT ask why Chris chose to sneak up behind her, Vanessa realizes she hasn’t gotten any gifts for anyone one! Chris gets real Canadian when he offers to take her “out” shopping. I think you ALL know what I mean there.

The next day, Chris and Richard get more wood for their outdoor fireplace? Jealous. Richard tells Chris that there are a few things that aren’t adding up-the different nicknames, the places she lived… Chris dismisses it all. But I AGREE RICHARD. It doesn’t add up.

Later, Vanessa and Chris shop for gifts. Vanessa suggests a lot of really expensive ideas for people she’s never met! This is particularly perplexing when we factor in her likely salary at a small nonprofit foster care agency. Then Chris suggests they go ice skating rather than finish their shopping. Oh, Vanessa has already revealed she’s never skated. Chris says he’s had a hard time picturing himself with kids. Oh my gosh neither of them are good. Why would Chris suggest such an activity then?

As they leave the ice-skating rink, she gets a call. Is it from the work or from the ancestry place? Update: It is from the ancestry website, and she just happens to have their number saved in her phone. Anyway, she IGNORES THE CALL.

When they get home, they realize the inflatable Santa is completely dead. Everyone is in mourning of a giant, obnoxious inflatable lawn ornament. BUT, it turns out that this Santa’s demise is incredibly fortuitous because Vanessa and Chris got Richard a new…EVEN MORE GIANT one.

Inside, they all make their own gingerbread houses. FUN. Vanessa and Chris get to know each other while they work. This family DOES it all. Every dang Christmas activity that can be done. Richard asks Vanessa has any pictures of her mom. She only has one. She lost them all in a flood in her foster parents’ house. Guys, if I am Richard, I’m beginning to wonder at what point Vanessa is going to murder them all in their sleep. No photos, no memory of Rhode Island, different nickname. And Richard is QUITE WEALTHY so like, yeah, what is going on. We’re just counting on this ancestry website’s connection to ensure that she does NOT have ulterior motives for ingratiating herself to this family? Is no one going to ask the hard questions?

In her bedroom, she listened to a voicemail from the ancestry company. They switched her test results with a different Vanessa Hall! So does Richard actually have a daughter named Vanessa? Like the other person? So now what, Vanessa? Are we going to murder this family for the inheritance or what?

Now Vanessa can’t get through on the ancestry website’s phone line. Vanessa calls her pal to tell her the situation. This stupid friend tells her to wait until after Christmas to tell the family. That seems terrible. Again, unless she’s planning to murder them or steal from them or whatever she’s working on.

Aiden brings Vanessa coffee to her room. That is very strange and sweet. Downstairs, Richard is wearing a great zip up sweater. The oldest daughter asks to go to a dance at school that night. Why is she just now asking about it? Why is it during school break? Then Pauline jets to work at the hospital. Vanessa offers to take the oldest daughter shopping to find a dress. (I missed her name too). So the girls go shopping. They talk about what boys they like and you know, typical girl chat. She says she likes having a big sister.

Back at home, Vanessa wants to talk to Richard. Instead of letting Vanessa talk, Richard tells her he was nervous to tell his mom about her. I mean, yeah. That would be awkward. Chris interrupts them so Vanessa can’t talk to him at all. In fact, she gives up completely and heads inside.

Then Vanessa helps the oldest daughter get ready for the dance. Then she has to help Amelia get her costume on. Richard looks on admiringly at his little modern family coming together.

Okay, this pageant is outdoors. In the winter. In Connecticut. Pauline gets to the pageant just in time to see Amelia pretend to sing this solo. Boy Hallmark is really striking out with this recording the audio separately. But this solo wasn’t even close. Vanessa is just scoring big in the big sister department. Then Vanessa asks if Chris is free later. Wait, isn’t it later now? What even time is it? She invites him to wrap presents. Chris is bad at it.

Vanessa bought Pauline an air-fryer from what, 1970? Also how does she have money to spend like $75 on each person? Chris tells her he’s really happy she’s here.

Chris asks Richard if it’s weird if he likes Vanessa. That’s a cute moment.

Vanessa asks her dog for advice. He just pants desperately on the bed.

Now it’s Christmas Eve and Vanessa meets THE WHOLE GANG. It’s just as chaotic as it would be in real life. And she meets her grandma last. She looks like she could be Richard’s sister. ARE YOU KIDDING ME, HALLMARK? This woman is like 60 years old. OH LEFSE! YAY. This “grandma” wants to serve lutefisk for Christmas. Well I guess she is an elderly person because only elderly Norwegian Americans like it. Richard rightfully informs Vanessa that they can’t make it because it will stink up the entire house. When I tell you the number of Lutheran churches I had to sit in without breathing while they cooked lutefisk in the kitchen on the other side building…I am surprised I am still here to tell the tale. So no, Grandma Helen, we are all a HARD PASS on the lutefisk. Focus your efforts on lefse and Norwegian Christmas cookies. Then the whole gang heads outside to make snow people.

Later they watch “It’s a Wonderful Life.” Vanessa and Richard both say it’s their favorite movie. WOW it must be in their DNA. Pauline and Richard share how they met. Vanessa thanks them for inviting her into their home. She asks how Richard met her mom. She seems finally ready to admit the truth when Amelia spills her hot chocolate in the other room.

Christmas Eve isn’t over yet! This ENTIRE family is going caroling. HOW MANY HOURS ARE IN A HALLMARK DAY. Vanessa picks THIS TIME, the time that they’re all going to caroling to try and tell them the truth. She gives up and says she’s a bad singer. Wow they are singing a verse of “Angels We have Heard on High” that I don’t know. Maybe it’s the third verse?

Vanessa asks Chris a really weird hypothetical but Chris gets it. Then Chris asks her on a real date! YAY. I like this.

Richard gets up and makes a big speech about Vanessa. So this is going to be REAL awkward later. When they get back inside, Richard wants to make sure they have a family photo with Vanessa. She runs upstairs and calls her pal to get a ride home and pack. Because she feels like she’s swindled them. I mean, kind of? Amelia knocks and asks her to touch up her hair for the picture. She and Amelia have a nice little sister moment. Vanessa panics about being included in this family picture. Okay Vanessa finally admits what the agency told her. TO THE WHOLE GANG. It is REAL awkward.

Vanessa tells Chris she doesn’t belong. Vanessa’s friend arrives to get her. They all hug her goodbye. Wow this is so awkward. Amelia throws a little tantrum. Chris and Richard watch her walk away. Amelia waves sadly from her room. It’s so awkward that I don’t even know how Richard et al is supposed to act!

Back inside, the kids say they don’t want to meet a different Vanessa. Wow that is tough for this other Vanessa if that ever comes up. Richard and Chris talk this all out. Richard tells Chris this shouldn’t change anything for them. He tells Chris to open his gift from Vanessa. It is a little nativity scene with a Frankenstein. It’s a whole bit I didn’t bother to type out from earlier. Also, Andrew’s started buttoning his shirt like basically in the middle? Anyway, Richard tells him to go after her.

Vanessa arrives home to her cute, albeit lonely apartment. She made her friend leave her parents to come get her? Guys this woman’s parents are staying with her and she hopped in her car and drove an hour both ways to get Vanessa on Christmas Eve. That is next level friendship.

Richard digs out an old box of photos in his kitchen. He finds a picture of “Trish.” She looks just like Vanessa! So, Richard is SURE he’s her dad. But, wouldn’t he remember what Trish looked like and think Vanessa looks like her? Would he really not remember what she looked like 30 years ago? So, they decide to all go to New York to get her back. They carol outside her apartment. How horrible would it be if she looked at the picture and was like, no that’s not my mom. Vanessa comes outside with no coat. Richard shows her the picture. Oh good. It IS her mom. Oh she’s so happy to be part of their family. Nobody cries about that. They all come in the apartment. Then Chris arrives. With a tree. Wow where did he find that? And she has FIREPLACE? In this economy? Guys I’m just realizing this apartment? In NYC? On her nonprofit budget? Oh wow, they both say they love each other. I feel like that’s a lot. For just the what, one week? Oh boy and then they kiss in front of EVERYONE! In front of HER DAD. Those children!

Okay so at some point everyone must have realized that they wouldn’t all fit in Vanessa’s apartment so they drive BACK to Connecticut. Guys, so Vanessa’s friend suspended her own Christmas Eve with her family FOR NOTHING at this point. Just want everyone to remember that.

So now it’s Christmas morning and they’re all opening presents back at Richard’s. Amelia’s gift from Vanessa is probably worth $300? AT LEAST. Then it’s time for Vanessa’s gift. It’s a framed print of the whole crew. OMG and she has a stocking with her name on it. She looks around at the living room in slow motion and nobody cries about it. But also, let’s remember that Vanessa got these people a GIANT inflatable Santa, an AIR FRYER, a whole NYC weekend with Broadway tickets, a formal dress for a dance and snowboarding equipment. They gave her a framed picture. I get it. It’s symbolic of her new family which is priceless but I’m JUST SAYING. SHE SPENT A LOT ON THESE GIFTS.

Okay guys, so I actually did like this movie a lot. It was super cute. It had some good Norwegian Christmas elements and everybody in the movie was great. What did you think?