Monthly Archives: December 2021

The Christmas Contest

YOU GUYS. I did it. WE DID it. Maybe we actually didn’t all do it. But A LOT OF US DID IT. We watched every movie from Thanksgiving week. Are we better for it? Absolutely not. Did it keep me in a constant state of Christmas spirit all week long? I guess. So our final movie of the week of the long awaited CCB film, “The Christmas Contest.” Candance always gets a prime slot, regardless of whether her movies are any good. In fact, I think the last movie of hers I liked was the one where she was a vet in Alaska. I think I kind of liked that one with her and Mutt from Schitt’s Creek as well but I may be the lone voice there. Anyway I have learned by know to not expect anything just because the movie is in a prime time slot. Did it deliver? Let’s find out!

The movie begins with a devastating journey through time as a girl untangles a strand of Christmas lights. This strand is so arduous, it takes nearly her entire childhood to unwind. As an adult, as she decorates the tree with her mom, she is exhausted of untangling lights and declines to do it this year. Ladies, might I suggest A DIFFERENT WAY OF STORING YOUR LIGHTS? Anyway Lara, our leading lady seems a little burnt out.

However, things are going great at work! She gives a speech to her employees and they all laugh at the right times and everything. I assumed it was at a Christmas party but looking back, I’m not sure because the proceeding “Christmas Contest” takes several weeks.

Then we are introduced to Ben, a former professional baseball player, schilling his Christmas themed beef jerky. I mean, I would definitely try it. We quickly get the sense that he will participate in just about any advertising campaign. Ben also has a stubborn old grandma that would rather sit at home and stick to her routine rather than make new friends or find new hobbies.

Lara’s mom volunteers at a local senior center. Lara stops by and her mom tells her that everything is sort of falling apart; literally. The senior center desperately needs some money for repairs, etc…Lara offers to donate some money but her mom is like, bless your heart. We need far more money than you could ever imagine donating, you silly goose. I have a better idea! How about you sign up for a contest hosted by the local news! The winner gets $50,000 to a charity of their choice! That is a way better way to get the necessary funds than like a traditional fundraiser!

All Lara has to do is write a quick essay responding to the prompt, “What is Christmas?” So that’s easy enough. I mean, literally it is easy enough to explain the purpose of Christmas. However, I think what they want the applicants to do is to write what Christmas means to them. Again, easy enough. Except most Hallmark movies live in a world where Christmas is exclusively a secular holiday so I can see why Lara finds herself a little stumped! Somebody tell her!

Meanwhile, Ben is at his at-risk youth baseball camp HQ. He is asked to apply but they can’t guarantee him a spot. He struggles with what to write and asks his grandma for some advice.

The next day, both Ben and Lara learn they’ve been accepted into the contest. Each individual has to have their own “team” name which doesn’t make sense. But whatever. Ben, who’s last name is Winters, chooses “Winters Wonderland” which isn’t too bad. Lara selects “Sleigh the Competition.” It’s all fine. I don’t love it, but it’s fine. There are a few other competitors but who cares about any of them? Oh and did I mention that Ben and Lara know each other? They DATED for four years and I think broke up a decade ago? But they are both still really amped up about it. Anyway, the first event is Christmas Trivia. Ben and Lara know more about Christmas than anyone should know about Christmas. They tie for first place.

The next competition is a gingerbread house contest I think? Or is it just a fancy Christmas desserts? I think that’s right. But it seems like they all made gingerbread things. Also, Lara arrives in a straight up evening gown and designer heels; for the cameras! She tells her boss; definitely not for Ben. Guys, the dress is A LOT even if you are trying to impress an old boyfriend.

 Anyway, they can have teams for this event. Ben enlists his sad little baseball kids. Lara enlists her mom and several elderly women. However, one of them cancels because her daughter is about to have a baby. Oh no. How are they ever going to make that…thing they were supposed to make? Luckily, Ben’s grandma happens to be hanging around the set. Lara asks her to join her team and Ben encourages her to do it! He knows she need some friends. So that’s really nice of him. Later, Ben opens a bag of gumballs like a child and they spill all over the floor. Then, to add insult to injury, he doesn’t bother picking them up. Lara, in her ridiculous heels, slips on one of them and falls on her own gingerbread creation. In spite of this, she is not eliminated.

The next competition is by far the stupidest one and I wish they had just cut that whole bit. I would have even been happy with an obstacle course! Anything but a dumb caroling contest where they all have to do choreographed dances to carols. I mean, guys. It’s so stupid and I HATED IT.

But in the midst of all this competing, there are these little “confessionals” from the contestants. I enjoy them because they’re silly but they 1)repeat every question that’s asked 2) give more insight into themselves. But, would these really be aired on as part of a local news segment? It doesn’t really make sense. But again, I don’t hate it. And, while we also see A LOT of Ben and Lara arguing, we get to see them reconnecting and enjoying each other’s company as well. They eat some kind of insane dessert I need to try for myself and have some profound discussions.

Lara is also going through something with her mom. Despite Lara being in her forties, her mom is still really pushing her to be the best; or at least that’s Lara’s perception. And they have some heated discussions about it. And as I mentioned earlier, Lara is really feeling burnt out at her job. She wants to just quit, which is also a source of contention with her mom.

Ben is going through a little something of his own with his grandma. She is set in her ways like I mentioned and not interested in making friends. But Ben really pushes her and I like that about him. He is also desperately trying to figure out what to get her for Christmas. Ben is also really connecting with the kids in his camp for the first time ever.

Anyway, we get to the final round of competition. The remaining two contestants (Ben and Lara obviously) have to plan a Christmas party and decorate a tree? Do they have to plan it together or two separate parties? I don’t know. This is where the rubber really meets the road. Ben and Lara have a bunch of intense and well written discussions about potentially getting back together that feel genuine and not Hallmark-manufactured. Notably, there is a moment where Ben arrives at Lara’s after playing poker with her mom and some elderly women. He wins and buys them all dinner. He brings a calzone to Lara and she is overwhelmed catching up on work. She said she would rather lay around and stare at the ceiling. So, they do just that. It is a silly, cute scene.

However, things get tricky while Lara and Ben are decorating their trees. Ben tells Lara that he would really like to make his sports camp a year-round program. He wonders if she might want to help run it, knowing that she is not satisfied with her job. This leads to Lara heading straight into her office to quit. However, later, back at decoration HQ, they rehash all the same arguments from when they broke up again, with Ben concluding that Lara would be better off without him. He leaves and Lara totally trashes her own tree.

The next day, Ben and Lara are both miserable. Lara’s mom and the senior center ladies work together to help Ben finish decorating his tree.

Okay, now we are nearing the end of the movie and I my eyes nearly roll out of my head at this point. When it’s time to reveal their trees, Lara announces she is quitting the contest and reveals that her tree is not decorated. I. DO. NOT. UNDERSTAND. This wasn’t about her, this was about raising money for the senior citizen center so WHY would she just bow out at this point? It truly makes no sense at all. She gives a classic end-of-movie-Hallmark-speech and I tune out. Then, Ben also announces HE is not competing either. If I was an eliminated contestant, I would be flipping a table at this point. Ben reveals his own tree and I think it’s all of Lara’s decorations; which, by the way, were 2^nd grade Christmas craft style pictures of her and Ben? Again, I’d be flipping a table. Anyway, the tree is for Lara because she turned his world upside down (like she says about him all the time.) I think at this point they kiss.

Then, we flash ahead to Christmas dinner with Ben, Lara, his grandma and Lara’s mom. Everyone is just having a lovely time together. Ben gives his grandma a gift that he says is from her late husband. Is it from her late husband though? There is even a card from him but I really don’t get it. Or I missed something big. Anyway, it’s the tennis bracelet her husband always “threatened” to buy her. So it’s either sweet or really weird that Ben wrote a card and signed it from his grandpa. That IS weird right? So anyway, that’s the end of this one!

Like I said, this movie was a mixed bag. There were so many STUPID parts of this movie and the premise; well, that’s it’s own whole thing. BUT the conflicts in this movie all seemed really authentic. I felt scared for Lara taking the risk of Ben getting hurt again. Especially since they are going to start dating again AND run a nonprofit together. It’s A LOT. I don’t know that they can make it. You know I hate when couples do this sort of thing. If we are comparing CCB movies against themselves, this one was certainly better than last year’s. I am truly DYING to know what you all thought of this one though.

Guys, they really did it again this year. They really made a FOURTH TIME FOR SOMEONE TO COME HOME FOR CHRISTMAS MOVIE. Why? Honestly though, I don’t think I’ve hated any of the versions I’ve seen. Well, maybe last year’s. I can’t remember. I think last year the “mystery” was just boring. I am just angry on principle at this point. But you know what? I didn’t hate this iteration AT ALL. In fact, I found it to be kind of a lovely road trip movie with a surprise Allison Sweeney cameo. (Spoiler alert: I was delighted to find out that she married the guy from her movie and also that she just said “croissant” the American way.) Okay let’s dive in.

The movie begins with our leading lady (who we later discover is named “Rebecca”) sitting alone at a diner with her suitcase. She looks sadly at a newspaper clipping and has a sad piece of pie by herself. After that, she starts walking in the blustery snow towards her hotel. It seems like she is straight up walking in the middle of the street on a bridge so it’s a surprise to no one that a car hits her and she…falls over the bridge into the water?! I mean that is a pretty intense fall to survive! Anyway, when she wakes up in the hospital she has NO memory of who she is. This is an interesting case of amnesia because she seems to remember things like social norms (later she knows she’s not married because she’s not wearing a ring) but has no personal memories whatsoever.

Meanwhile, our leading man, Paul, is dealing with his own thing, including listening to a voicemail from his brother in his car. He offers to cover the rest of his co workers’ shift and then she and another pal offer to cover the week of Christmas so he can go home. Anyway, I think because he stays, he ends up helping out with Rebecca’s situation. Several days pass and nothing seems to jog her memory. No one seems to be looking for her either. The only lead they have is the newspaper clipping, which she left at the diner. The clipping advertises a Tree Lighting in Charleston, South Carolina. Her current location is Maine.

After a week of no memories coming back and no leads about who she might be, Rebecca asks to be released from the hospital. Honestly with no insurance or identification, wouldn’t they have kicked her out as soon as she was stable? However here, no one wants her to leave because she doesn’t have anywhere to go and no way to get anywhere. Luckily? Paul offers to drive her to Charleston on his way to see his family in Georgia. No one has any objections so that is all settled. The nurses put together a care package for Rebecca which is so sweet. They give her clothes and money. Also, since no one knows her name at this point, everyone is calling her Jane.

They hit the road and Paul has the whole thing mapped out. Is anyone surprised when Blake Shelton’s “It’s Time for Me to Come Home for Christmas” comes on the radio? Paul turns it off because he said it hits too close to home for him. Rebecca gets to snooping and opens his glove box. Inside is a gift for Paul’s brother, Ben of voicemail fame. Instead of staying at the nearest hotel to a freeway exit, they decide to stay at a nearly empty Bed and Breakfast their first night. Rebecca looks through the items the nurses gave her and discovers a cute pair of snowflake earrings. This causes her to have her first memory! A flash to arguing with someone named Mark as she storms out of a house.  They end up watching a Christmas movie together.

The next morning, Paul wants to hit the road right away. However, they decide they better help this poor B&B owner decorate her tree instead. This is why you stay in a hotel! This woman was feeling sad this year because her husband recently passed away. So, I guess it’s a good thing they were there.

Paul is having a really hard time finding a place for them to stay the second night. Instead of just going to hotels.com or kayak or any number of websites that show you every hotel in town, Paul is asking local townsfolk for “leads.” What year is it!? And where are they eating lunch? Why aren’t they driving through McDonalds or Subway like normal people on a roadtrip? Anyway, Paul finally decides to ask his cousin if he can stay with him. He seems to be reluctant to do so.

When they arrive, Paul’s cousin says some weird things to him like, “I understand why you did what you did. Nobody blames you for it.” What now? And his wife thinks Paul and Rebecca are a couple. I don’t know what time they arrived but they are there in time for dinner and they are also there in time for a CASUAL CAMPBELL SOUP AD. The ad continues at dinner when everyone is just losing their minds over the scalloped potatoes. Rebecca just opened the can! I mean, I am probably going look up that recipe so who am I to make fun? It worked didn’t it? Then, the conversation turns somber when we realize that Paul’s brother Ben died earlier that year. Paul didn’t make it home for Christmas last year because he didn’t want to see his brother like that. And he’s felt guilty ever since. Paul’s cousin and his pregnant wife plan to name their son after him. I do feel like maybe they should let Paul have the opportunity to do that but obviously Paul is years away from such a possibility and we can’t just save names forever.

The next morning, Rebecca offers to drive and has she gleefully opens the door, she has another memory! I think this is another one of her arguing with “Mark” but I can’t quite remember myself! This jars her and she decides to let Paul continue driving. On the drive, she tells Paul she remembers about this person named Mark, but she doesn’t know who he is to her.

Also, despite being in a hurry, these people stop at a Christmas festival for lunch. They have time to fully sit down and chat and then DANCE to CHRISTMAS MUSIC. Geez Louise people let’s just get there already. Unfortunately, when they get to the car, it won’t start. I was just starting to think how lovely it was that nothing was really going wrong. The mechanic is reluctant to take a look at the car because it’s Christmas Eve. They plead with him and he agrees. He tells them to come back in an hour. Outside, they see a dog! Upon delivering the dog to its house, we learn he belongs to none other than Allison Sweeney. I forget what her character’s name is. But it’s nice to know that these stories all belong in the Blake Shelton Cinematic Universe. She is so grateful that they’ve returned her dog that she gives them some croissants and she doesn’t even pronounce them in a pretentious way. It is such a relief.

Meanwhile, the sheriff in Covington, Maine is still trying to track down some information for Rebecca. They eventually find her suitcase and inside is her laptop and a little girl’s sweater. Rebecca is shocked by this. Like, how could she forget if she was a mother? (Her thoughts, not mine.) While they wait, Paul hands her the beautifully wrapped tin of croissants. Seeing the ribbon gives her another memory. All of her memories seem to be from the same evening. This time, she is happily arriving at Mark’s house with a gift and he calls her “Rebecca.” She is elated to remember her name! But she and Paul both wonder if this Mark person is her “special friend.” Then the auto shop calls. These silly gooses. It was just the battery! Wow they could have saved so much time. Anyway, they are back on the road again.

Paul’s car must be capable of bending space and time because they actually make it to the tree lighting in Charleston in time. Paul promises to wait for her for a little bit. Mark approaches her and is so glad to see her. He hugs her. Then a little girl approaches and hugs her. Paul sees this and thinks it’s a happy little family reunion and leaves. Then, a sassy woman approaches and is like, HOW DARE YOU.

Suddenly all of Rebecca’s memories come back. The angry woman is her sister Annie. Mark is Annie’s husband and Casey is her daughter. She runs to find Paul but he’s gone. Then we get to see the whole memory Rebecca was seeing flashes of. She and her sister had a huge fight last Christmas about Rebecca quitting her job to write full time. Annie wanted to make sure they could split the cost of their parents’ care. I’m not sure what is wrong with her parents but they seem to be in poor health and are not part of the memories or Christmas or anything. Rebecca was still mad at her sister and was not planning to see them but Mark invited her to just show up at the tree lighting behind Annie’s back. Instead, Rebecca was going to spend Christmas alone in Maine. The girls eventually make up. Back up in her room, Rebecca finds a card from Paul so she decides to go find him.

Paul meanwhile has made it to see his sister-in-law and his brother’s grave. Both are touching moments that I won’t relay in extensive detail here. Anyway, Rebecca finds him at the only hotel in his town and fills him in on everything. He is visibly relieved to learn that Mark is her brother-in-law. So, they KISS and then she invites him to her family’s Christmas party. So at this point, is it STILL CHRISTMAS EVE? Like how far away are they? How is he coming to their Christmas party? How many hours are in a day? Whatever. They make it to the Christmas party and everyone is just so happy about all of it.

Thus ends (hopefully) the “Time for whomstever” to come home series? I mean, let’s just call the movies something else. Let’s call the “Godwink” movies something else too while we’re at it. But I did actually quite enjoy the movie and I felt like the whole “mystery” who she really was paid off! In my opinion, that rarely happens in Hallmark “mystery” movies. So I thought this was a lovely little movie over all. What did you think?

Well here we go again, am I right? I was kind of mildly excited for this movie because of the potential for Lake Tahoe Christmas vibes. I love a good mountain lodge Christmas movie. But other than that I kept my expectations low and my attention span short for this one. Let’s get after it.

Claire is a busy hotel manager at a very fancy resort in Lake Tahoe. I believe it’s called “The Inn on the Lake.” SO CLEVER. As she walks, she interrupts several conversations like she knows every guest in the place. I’ve never experienced such a chipper hotel manager in my life. Oh, and George Lopez is there. Also, Pat Monahan from Train is there. I DIDN’T HATE THEM IN THIS MOVIE. Anyway, Claire is accosted by a silly goose of a hotel guest who wants to use her “Star Rewards” for all sorts of things at this hotel. The only problem is that those are points for a different hotel chain. I love the whole bit and it is not the last time she does it.

Claire stops into her dad’s office. He owns the whole hotel. He runs through the list of Christmas activities happening at the resort this year and she has a pun for each one. It’s a lot. Her dad is like, hey you’re spending QUITE a bit of time on our Christmas Eve Variety show. So what’s that about? And she’s like, I’m just really passionate about Christmas themed variety shows, Dad.

Soon, we learn WHY she’s focusing so much on the variety show. She is hoping to attract the attention of a big Las Vegas resort and would like to run THEIR variety show. It seems to be working because she receives a call from their manager or CEO or whatever and says that if the show goes well, they’ll likely want to hire her. She’s elated. She turns to the first person she says, Pat; I mean Jackson. She’s like, can you keep a secret? And he’s like, No. And I love him for that. She tells him anyway. He is a little surprised that she’d want to leave her family’s resort and like, live in Las Vegas but otherwise he’s happy for her.

We also learn that she USED to manage a pretty big “rock” band who’s biggest hit is an original Christmas song. Sure, Jan. The band is called “Wild Lynx.” I’ve put up with a lot of silly band names but I don’t know if I can get behind this one, especially considering these boys look like a preppier version of Hanson. The only grungy part about them seems to be the lead singer’s commitment to “training” his hair to wash it less. WE ALL NOTICE. Anyway, they have a tense meeting at a local radio station and seemingly announce they’re all home for Christmas in Lake Tahoe. They are taking some MUCH NEEDED time off.

Later some night in the future; or that same night; who knows? Claire hears that famous Christmas song and rolls her eyes. Then, she sees her old pal Ryan getting attacked by adoring fans. She doesn’t want to run into him so she hides in some sort of tent. Unfortunately, Ryan, desperate to get away from said adoring fans, choses that same location to hide as well. Claire is shocked to see him. He tells her he’s home for the holidays.

Things take a turn for the worst for ol Claire bear when she arrives home. Her mom tells her that they are basically doing every Christmas activity with Ryan and his family since the parents are best friends. This includes a Christmas concert featuring Ryan’s niece. BUT MOM! That’s my ex-boyfriend. Isn’t a little rude to expect me to hang out with him? Nobody seems to care about that.

So, at some point in the future, the whole crew goes to watch this niece’s performance. Ryan’s parents are the exact same set of parents we saw in “An Unexpected Christmas.” FUN. Anyway, Claire and Ryan end up sitting together and reminiscing about programs of Christmas past. After the show, Claire inexplicably apologizes to this child for ruining the show. I rewound it a couple times and I cannot figure out why she has to apologize? Anyway, it is so bad that she ends up giving all the kids free tubing passes.

Shortly thereafter, her big variety show starts falling apart. Her big headliner gets sick and has to cancel. Soon, several other acts cancel because the headliner can’t come. In short, it’s a disaster. So, she decides she needs to bite the bullet and ask the Wild Lynx for a favor.

In what MUST be the same kitchen from Maya’s parents’ in Gingerbread Miracle, Claire catches Ryan coming back from his first run in a year. Without any earmuffs of anything! She asks if he wants to take a walk. He’s like, but I just kind of got done doing that…only way faster. But Okay.

He immediately says no but only because the band is not speaking! It seems that no one else’s hair training is going quite as well as their lead singer so they’ve all been arguing. Also, Ryan wants to slow down on touring and write more songs. Alistair? Is that the lead singer’s name? Alistair really wants to maintain their aggressive schedule. So, they’re not speaking. BUT he promises to help her find more performers.

At this point, Claire seems to abandon all other hotel duties as she focuses solely on saving this variety show. I never see ANY of the activities her father mentions at the beginning of the movie. She and Ryan scroll through social media to see who’s in town for the holidays. They discover that a famous comedian is in town. Wouldn’t she LOVE to spend Christmas Eve working?

After getting a really quick rejection from her agent, the pair of them concoct a silly little idea to pretend to be wait staff to sneak into this comedienne’s room and convince her themselves. Ryan and Jackson do this great talking in code bit and figure out what room she’s in.

They arrive at her room fully prepared to convince her. However, she is quite a mess when they arrive. She’s just been dumped by her boyfriend. After a lovely heart to heart with Claire, this woman recognizing Ryan and realizes what they’re up to. In spite of all that, she agrees to headline the show. She also gives them a random “stocking stuffer” on their way out.

Later, at the joint family white elephant gift exchange, we discover that this “stocking stuffer” is actually a gift certificate for Botox and all the ladies want it. I find this to be amusing. After this little party, Claire discovers that a famous acapella band is playing in Reno. She decides to ask them to participate in the variety show as well. After some additional sneakiness, Ryan and Claire manage to talk THIS band into giving up their Christmas plans as well. I think Claire offers to fly ALL OF THEIR FAMILIES OUT AND PUT THEM UP AT THE RESORT. I mean, what are we talking here? That is an insane amount of money to offer. Anyway, they obviously agree.

At some point, Claire discovers that Jackson is an aspiring musician and has been leaving work early to play at some open mic nights. Somehow, he ends up in the variety show as well.

Ryan has his own Christmas miracle after he and the Wild Lynx boys work out their issues. They let Ryan take some time off to focus on writing but agree he can rejoin whenever. Oh, and he’s going to live in Lake Tahoe. The band also agrees to participate in the variety show. So, things are really shaping up nicely for ol Claire.

Then, the manager or whoever from that big Vegas resort arrives for the show. Claire’s dad just happens to overhear that he’s come to the resort JUST to see the variety show. He asks Claire what that’s all about and she finally has to tell him what she’s been up to. She reiterates that her passion has always been variety show planning, not hotel management. He is mostly sad that she didn’t just tell him in the first place. I THINK. I don’t quite remember.

Finally, it’s the night we’ve all been waiting for. The comedienne does her silly little Christmas themed stand up. Jackson sings a song I’ve decided I LOVE and I wish they would have shown the whole thing. The acapella group sings too and I would have liked to see more of that. And finally, Jackson teams up with the Wild Lynx boys to sing one last song. I like that one too! The show is a big hit.

After the show, Claire’s dad tells her that if she wants to focus on making their resort an entertainment destination comparable to Las Vegas, he has her support. That big Las Vegas resort wants her too though! So she is in quite a pickle. Ultimately, she decides to stay in Lake Tahoe and she and Ryan kiss and presumably get back together! So everyone wins I guess.

Guys, this was another perfectly fine movie. I am a little tired of the “let’s scramble to put together an event that would normally take several months of planning” because it makes the whole movie seem chaotic and unrealistic but that’s the world we live in. I would have LOVED to see more of the Christmas activities Claire’s dad mentioned in the beginning of the movie. And I would have liked more Lake Tahoe winter activities! Actually a Lake Tahoe themed winter movie would be fun. But yeah this movie was centered around this silly variety show instead. I was also expecting Laura Osnes to sing and she didn’t. Isn’t that sort of a waste? Anyway, it was fine. What did you think?

Guys. I was SHOCKED when I heard all the buzz about this movie. The title alone. I was like, are we for real? This is a long awaited sequel? A movie about cats? A second movie about cats? What are we all doing here! But, lucky for ALL of us, a fellow Hallmark movie reviewer was willing to share his take on my page. Our guest reviewer today is Brandon VanWaeyenberghe. Brandon lives in Duluth, Minnesota and is the Executive Director of the local symphony orchestra. He has a really creative approach to his Hallmark reviews. He wisely watches these movies while he exercises. While he has always had a soft spot for Hallmark movies, last year, he decided to combine his passions of Christmas and fitness by running on a treadmill to all 23 new Hallmark movies in 2020.  This year, his goal is to either run or row to the 31 new movies.  His dog Barley is his (unwilling) companion, and you can follow his journey at @bveedub on Instagram. Honestly, this is what I should be doing. Why haven’t I just set my Echelon on scenic route and peddled away? This changes now. Anyway, we are all in for a REAL TREAT; and me most of all since I didn’t have to watch this movie. Read all the way to end for Brandon’s own review of the movie! He posts these on his Instagram page for every movie as well! Let’s dive in!

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So, the “Nine Kittens of Christmas,” or the “Nine Kittens for the Holiday” is a continuation of the 2014 movie “Nine Lives of Christmas.”  You do not need to know about the prior movie to jump into this one, but after watching the entire movie, I think some context would have been helpful.  It certainly would have established some of the characters and their motivations in a complete fashion.

Zachary (Brandon Routh) is a fireman in Bend, Oregon, who is planning his now annual tradition of a ski trip with the guys.  His fellow fire people joke around with him about his trip, obviously avoiding talking about the impetus behind this annual departure.  Zach’s boss, Fire Chief Sam (Gregory Harrison) sets Zach up to play an important part in the annual fundraiser.  Zach’s cat Ambrose is getting in the way of the fire people, to cute effect. Cut to Marilee (Kimberley Sustad) in her vet’s office in Miami, Florida.  The camera lingers on a picture of the late cat Queenie, a reference to other movie.  Marilee is preparing to go home to Bend to spend time with her family, and her boyfriend and co-owner of the vet client Miles says he will join her as soon as he can.  There is even some great interaction with Miles given Marilee a cat toy for the flight instead of to her new cat Dutchess.

Marilee arrives home to join her sister Jaclyn (Stephanie Bennett) and her daughter Sierra (Linden McMillan).  All three of them open an advent calendar left by their late mother, which contains a single charm.  More on that later.  While walking around town, Marilee backwards runs into Zach, which we discover is her ex from the first movie and that the broke up 3 years ago, which caused Marilee to move (or maybe?  The movie does not include a solid timeline about their relationship.)  Zach is an elf costume for some community event and Marilee tells Jacyln that Zach did not change so she had to leave him and town.

Right before Zach is scheduled to leave for a ski trip, he goes by the fire station to drop off his cat. That’s when he discovers a box of nine kittens has been left outside the fire station. Again don’t know who would leave a box of 10 week old kittens in front of the fire station instead of a veterinary clinic, but you needed something to obviously propel the characters together, and in this movie it’s all about the cats. In a weird twist of fate, the town’s only veterinarian has just retired [weird timing, right?]. In wandering down the street and looking for someone to take care of the kittens, Zach runs into Merilee and they both agree to work together to find all of them homes before Christmas.

Fire Chief Sam and his wife, while sidewalk shopping, decided to adopt two kittens after promoted by Zach.  Chief Sam later tells Zach that he is going to retire after the Christmas fundraiser, and the kittens will help him and his wife start a new life.  Meanwhile, young Sierra jumps at the opportunity to demonstrate that she can care for pets, offering to make socks for the kittens and naming them after all eight reindeer and Rudolph (no shiny nose).  Chief Sam take Zach out for coffee to discuss his retirement and asks to name him as his successor.  Zach is unsure about the role, so he will later ask Marilee who confirms in him that he is a good man, and would be perfect for the job, all while giving him some romantic eye contact.

In an effort to help get the kittens adopted, Zach and Marilee pair up to bring them to various events around town.  It includes a lovely reconnection with Ambrose and Marilee.  In the supermarket, where apparently, they met for the first time Marilee mentions Brandon has been called a superhero.  This is a subtle shout out to his time as Superman and appearances on “Legends of Tomorrow” on the CW.” Over some coffee brainstorming, they have the brilliant idea to host a pop-up cat café at a local coffee shop.  The pair of Zach and Marilee appear to be moving emotionally closer as the number of available cats decrease.  Marilee’s family encourages her to go with Zach to a choir practice, where a very surprised (and quite possibly only) chorus member agrees to take the last three kittens.  Tension is in the air as both Zach and Marilee realize now they have no more excuses to spend time together.

One of the two B story plots (along with the advent calendar) is the retirement of Fire Chief Sam.  After mulling over getting him a memorial bench, golf clubs and a scooter (huh?), rookie Gabi (Victoria Dunsmore) has the great idea to refinish an old fire truck that Sam had purchased several years ago.  It is a Christmas miracle that they were able to refinish the truck in only three days, but I am sure a group of 12 firefights in Bend, Oregon can work around the clock to do their outgoing boss proud one last time.

When Zach and Marilee start dropping off kittens, the chorus lady now cannot take in cats as she has just rescued another set of kittens.  Red flags should have gone up when it was learned that chorus lady has her own cat rescue, but hey, no problem.  Now the pair is in the movies first of two crisis points of the movie to get these kittens adopted by Christmas.  After decorating Sam’s Christmas tree during the home visit, Zach invites Marilee to the fire station in a few hours.  Marilee goes and finds that Zach has printed up a new banner advertising the kittens posted on the side of the restored fire truck.  Marilee aggressively kisses Zach, and then runs away.  The movie cuts to both of them talking over the situation to their respective cats and wrestling with their feelings for each other.  As someone who often talks to my dog Barley, I get that talking out issues can really help.  Barley declines to talk back.

At the Christmas Fundraiser, Marilee walks in a green dress (picked by her cat) and makes Zach speechless.  Following his announcement as the new Fire Chief, Zach dances with Marilee and starts to finally share his feelings for her.  And then, the second crisis point arrives in Bend, Oregon as Miles, Marilee’s ex-boyfriend of only a few days makes a grand gesture to come in person and convince her to stay with him.  They go outside and talk, and Zach sees them through the window, where Sierra tells him they an item (“Do you know that guy?” “Only from their Christmas card.”  Marilee tells Miles honestly that she belongs home with her family, and Zach walks out of the party.

Now for some cat intervention! Despondent and at home, Marilee is talking with Dutchess, who pulls her phone out of her purse to make her call Zach one more time.  Zach is at home wondering if he should pick up the call when Ambrose steps on the phone and answers the call.  Zach listens and Marilee pours her heart out to him.  The next morning Marilee tells her sister that she is staying in town and renting the retired vet’s space.  They open the final advent calendar box and find a wreath, indicative of the ones Marilee and Jaclyn’s mom used to make friends at the holidays.  Sierra is gifted two of the remaining three cats and promised to take great care of them.  Zach shows up in the restored fire truck (is Sam just letting anyone drive his new ride?) and tells Marilee he has found a home for Rudolph, a nice couple.  Zach drives Marilee to his house and confesses his love for her.  While Marilee clutches the kitten, Zach asks her to adopt Rudolph with him and then proposed to her.

Overall, I thought this was a fine movie and appreciated the acting, especially by Brandon Routh.  However, the whole proposal after 7 days, even with a previous relationship, felted hurried.  And maybe all three of the cats cannot get along – was anyone thinking about their needs? 

What did you think about the movie?  Did you have the same feelings about the ending?

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Movie # 16 – Nine Lives of Holidays (or Nine Kittens of Christmas)

Synopsis: Ex’s Zachary and Marilee come back together again to rescue and rehome nine kittens left at a fire station, while both grasping at what needs to change in their lives.

Rowing Distance: 15,176 meters (9.43 miles) [First complete movie while rowing]

Total Time: 1:20:28

Pace per 500m:  2:39

Hot Take:  This movie is a sequel to 2014’s Nine lives of Christmas.  You do not need to see the original to understand the sequel.  This move is abundantly cute – mean it has 11 cats in it!  Brandon Routh (one-time Superman) plays a great lead, and fumbles at all the right times with his ex-girlfriend Marilee.  Pretty early on Marilee dumps her Miami boyfriend and focused on reconnecting with Zach, but even a grand gesture from Miles to arrive at the town fundraiser does not save him.  The movie is certainly not a typical Hallmark story – it acknowledges the first movie romance did not work and created a scenario to drive the two back together.  However, {SPOILER} to end the movie with a proposal after maybe a week of reconnecting is a bit forced, even if they have an extensive backstory.  He does not even know if she is going to stay in town {she is} or if their cats will get along {maybe}.

Sub-Romance:  None

Tropes Used:  Christmas Tree Decorating, Fundraising for Charity at Christmas

Really Odd Moment:  The slow-motion bundt cake decorating scene.  There was just no need for it.

Best Joke:  “I tell my cat everything.  What I spend on cat food I save on therapy!”

Really… REALLY?:  The pair open a makeshift cat cafe in a coffee shop with food.  I am pretty sure that is against health code violations.

Rating: 4 out of 5 Bookstore Cats (living at a Coffee Shop)

Happy December 1st, gang! Whew. You guys. Is anyone else WORN OUT from these dang movies? I will say that usually Hallmark slips in a few absolutely atrocious movies during Thanksgiving week but that hasn’t been the case so far this weekend. BUT I still have three more movies to watch so maybe I shouldn’t hold my breath. How are you guys? Are you hanging in there? Keeping up? Or giving up? Can we all agree to NOT do this next year? To just have the standard 4 movies for that weekend so we can all just do fun Christmas things with our families? Yes? Okay great. Let’s dive in to this one.

Brook and Morgan are silly gooses. They are also waitresses for an event planning business in New York. However, they get fired when their grouchy boss, Paige overhears them complaining. Back at home, they realize they are basically at the beginning of the classic Christmas film, “Dumb and Dumber.” They have no jobs, no food… AND THEIR PETS’ HEADS ARE FALLING OFF. So, they decide to finally use their dad’s money to visit his homeland of Ireland.

We also meet our leading man, Aiden. He is an Earl and has returned home, to a literal castle, after a lengthy absence. His sister, Siobhan, is not happy with him because he’s left her with all castle managing duties and she doesn’t even get a title.

I am not sure how much time passes but soon they are in Ireland being the most annoyingly obvious tourists on the planet. They giggle and shriek over every dang thing they see. Instead of using a traditional ancestry website (maybe they were scared off after watching A Christmas Family TREE) they decide to just wander the pubs to see if anyone knows their family. They quickly chat up the owner of one pub and tell them their story. Unfortunately for the girls, their dad’s birth name, “O’Reilly” is one of the most common last names in the country. She tells them that’s her last name along with half the patrons of the bar. Grouchy Aiden is sitting at the bar, who can’t help but overhear their giggling and shrieking, rudely asks if they’re here looking for a leprechaun. The bar owner suggests the girls go on a tour of the local castle.

The girls decide to do the tour but quickly find it too boring to continue. Brooke compares “Earlships” to “Spaceships” and we all wonder if maybe she should take a quick lap and reset. They decide to check out a cute outdoor Christmas market, which is where they should have been all along. While there, Brooke runs into Aiden again and tells him how boring the tour was. For some reason, he invites the girls to a private tour of the castle the following day.

The girls take him up on his offer and arrive on their ridiculous cruisers. Inside, they must be waiting a while because Brooke REALLY has to go to the bathroom. Naturally, they head UPSTAIRS to find one. They run into Aiden and Siobhan. The encounter is less awkward than I expected. Aiden gives Brooke incredibly complicated directions to the bathroom and she bolts. So, the remaining three make small talk. Brooke and Morgan have already decided to pretend they’re big event planners while on vacation so Morgan really plays it up when Aiden asks what they do. This plan is unfortunate because Aiden and Siobhan NEED an event planner for their big Christmas party. The siblings ask Morgan if they’d be willing to plan the event last minute. Morgan agrees on the spot. When Siobhan asks if they have a website the rubber really meets the road. Brooke returns to discover that her name is “Paige Monahan.” You know, the name of the woman who fired them recently? So this is going to go well. Anyway, there must not be any photos of Paige on that website because they have no additional questions for these two.

No one bothers with any tax documents or contracts or anything. Let’s just get on with the party planning! Obviously, the girls will need to stay IN the castle for this so Aiden goes with them to get their belongings. He is shocked at the current lodgings. In contrast, the girls are over the moon about their NEW set up. How are they not on edge every moment of the day at this point?

Anyway, they’ve got to get right down to business. First, they meet with the Duchess. I am not sure if this is Aiden and Siobhan’s mom or what. I missed that. Anyway, she wants a REALLY fancy party and will spare no expense. Did I mention that they’ve got nothing planned and the party is in less than two weeks? Why are people always doing that? How are they not starting the planning immediately following each year’s event? This is so dumb. But anyway, the stakes are HIGH. And Brooke has to call herself Paige going forward.

They decide to start with decorations. Obviously every rental company is totally booked. Aiden knows one place that does Christmas decorations but he doubts they’d be interested in helping since the Earl’s family stopped inviting the locals to the party. But BROOKE is very clever and is able to sweet talk this man into loaning them a Christmas Tree sculpture for the display.

So they’re all on track there. Morgan is wearing the cutest sweater and tells Brooke she got all the plates and that sort of thing. So they are just really cooking. They still need a caterer and obviously some other things.

Somehow or another, a caterer in Dublin finds out that “Paige” is planning a party and would love to work with her. That’s right. Party Planners are internationally renowned. Maybe they really are. What do I know? So, Aiden offers to drive Brooke to Dublin. Brooke suggests Aiden wait in the car. Brooke wisely introduces herself as an employee for Paige and the caterer is stoked to work at the event.

Meanwhile, a reporter is snooping around the event prep site, hoping for a chance to interview Paige. She knows her from all the reporting she does of parties. Morgan calls Brooke to warn her not to come back anytime soon. So, Brooke stalls their return from Dublin by stopping at a restaurant. That reporter is STILL there after they are done so Brooke suggests more sightseeing. Aiden takes her to a church. I remember NOTHING about why this church is significant or why Aiden wanted to show it to her. But they have a deep conversation while they’re there. I believe it is at this point where Aiden invites the girls to the Christmas Tree Lighting that evening.

Brooke worries about whether she looks nice because now she’s interested in Aiden.

The girls do also genuinely want to see if they can find their dad’s family. Morgan spends some quality time with the Duchess who seems to know everything about everyone in town. Morgan has a surprising amount of details for her. More than I expected, anyway.

While Morgan is doing that work, Brooke continues to get close to Aiden. He tries to tell her he has feelings for her but she panics because obviously she’s living a lie.

Things finally reach a boiling point when this pesky reporter finally just calls Paige at…a spa? And asks to interview her. Paige is like, wait what? Then that night, the caterer and the reporter catch Brooke in her lie. The caterer doesn’t want to risk the possibility of working with the real Paige and decides to back out of the event.

After telling the siblings the bad news, Brooke wants to come clean about the whole scheme. Morgan convinces her they need to see it through. It DOES NOT take much to convince her, obviously. So they keep plugging away. They decide to ask the pub owner where it all began to cater the event. So that’s great.

Brooke also half-heartedly tries to tell Aiden the truth a few times, including while they’re randomly baking some Irish Christmas item. It’s not great. After Aiden tells her his feelings AGAIN, she flees to her room to discover that Aiden has selected a variety of dress options for her to wear to the party.

It’s time for the party and everything is going really well. These silly geese actually pulled it off! Is anyone just a tiny bit surprised that they did it? The Duchess loves it and she loves the fun little Riverdance surprise at the end. I cant remember if they allowed the townspeople to attend? But anyway, the party is a hit and maybe now the castle will have the funds to continue operating? I’m not really sure. BUT as expected, right as Brooke is finally ready to tell Aiden the truth, the real Paige Monahan comes bursting through the door and she is MAD. She threatens the girls up and down with all kinds of things before the Duchess finally intervenes. She says what we’re all thinking-the girls actually did pull off a great party so who cares if they name dropped to get the contract? So that kind of puts everyone in their place. BUT it is too much for Aiden to bear in terms of their personal relationship, so he leaves.

However, he DOES repair his relationship with Siobhan. She tells him that in spite of everything, having Brooke and Morgan there really helped them and they were integral in their relationship healing. She encourages Aiden to give Brooke another chance. But he doesn’t have long to think about it because then Brooke shows up! They have a long chat that I don’t listen to and they KISS.

At some point in the future, the Duchess takes the whole gang to this house in the country. As it turns out, the Duchess figures out who the girls’ family is and they meet their uncle for the first time! It’s really lovely. And guess who their uncle is married to? Their pal from the bar! They all are so happy and no one unexpectedly tears up after this scene. And that’s it!

This one was not the worst Royal Hallmark movie. I liked that it was an actual position within the British monarchy and not some made up European prince visiting America for the holidays in some sort of “Prince and the Pauper” scenario. I would have liked a few more Irish Christmas vibes if I’m being honest. Also did anyone notice some familiar street shots? Just me? Anyway, guys there are still THREE MOVIES LEFT from the weekend at this point. What did you think?