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Alright so our next movie this week was “A Christmas Together with You.” I like Niall so I thought this movie might be a treat to watch. However, it should come as no surprise to you all that it is A LOT to not only find the time to watch these movies but to watch them in a way that allows me to like RECAP the entire dang thing. Here is the other dilemma, they are really long. I am sure they are too long. So I am trying an experiment here. How much can I remember about this movie without typing it all as I go? Can I go back to watching these movies while I decorate for Christmas or bake or whatever like in the good old days? Let’s find out.

The movie begins with our leading lady, Megan, chatting with her coworkers at a restaurant. Her wedding was supposed to be the following day but they ended their engagement six months ago! She is FINE THOUGH. Guys, she’s FINE. She takes a little work break to chat with her favorite customer, Frank. He is reading a book and is using an old picture of himself and his high school girlfriend as a bookmark. Frank tells her the whole story (his version, anyway) of their relationship and how they’ve lost touch.

Megan, no doubt spiraling on the eve of her would-be wedding, falls asleep trying to find this woman. In what would likely take a few minutes in this day and age, she finds an address in a town hours away. I don’t know how many hours, okay?

So, the following day, I realize I have tremendously underestimated the friendship of these two characters as I hear Megan pitch a road trip to find Frank’s lost love. He is, understandably weirded out and rejects her offer. Megan tries her best to hide her disappointment, as she’s basically put all of her pent up wedding feels into reconnecting Frank and his lost love Claire. A different waitress reminds Frank that today was Megan’s wedding day and while she is TOTALLY FINE she is actually NOT. So, Frank runs out to catch her decides to humor her with her fun road trip idea.

So, this crazy pair hit the road. They stop at the craziest truck stop I’ve ever seen. I actually rewound at this point because I thought I had missed them getting car trouble or SOMETHING because it truly didn’t make any sense. But they do stop at a truck stop. Steve, our leading man, is on the phone and doesn’t realize his VERY GOOD BOY has hopped up on Megan with his muddy paws. Instead of Megan letting the dog know that regardless, he is a GOOD boy and its no trouble because the mud will just wipe right off, she gets annoyed at Steve’s inability to manage him. Steve can’t bother to get off the phone the entire time which, in fairness would be pretty annoying.

Meanwhile, our boy Steve arrives at his parents’ hotel for the holidays. I think he is going to help them get the hotel back into fighting shape, or something like that. And he’s promised them a whole two weeks!

They arrive in Pinesville without making any hotel arrangements. I don’t remember how they decide on one, but upon entering a hotel lobby, a very familiar looking GOOD BOY greets them like long lost friends. Megan is like, doesn’t this dog look like the dog that jumped on me? And then she’s like, well I HOPE HIS OWNER HAS BETTER MANNERS and then ol Steve shows up and is like no, yeah it’s just me. And then offers a pretty satisfactory explanation of his rudeness, in my opinion. But NOBODY reassures Max the dog that he is a GOOD BOY. BTW, the dog’s name is a character name. So this dog had to pretend like his name was Max when it was really Dax. Why not let the dog use his own name? It’s not like “Max” was anything significant, right? That’s silly.

Anyway, Steve walks Frank and Megan over to the check in counter to find them some rooms. They are completely booked unfortunately. However, fortune is on their side when a grouchy old lady comes down and complains that they’ve been without HEAT in their room for like, TWO DAYS? And we are all supposed to be like, can we believe this lady? And well, YES I CAN. No heat? In a room I’m presumably paying hundreds of dollars for? I just. Like, really? Anyway Steve sees this as an opportunity and gives this woman a full refund. Conveniently this opens up a single room for our pals Megan and Frank. Guys, I don’t care how close they are. I am not sharing a hotel room with one of my restaurant patrons. Moreover, I’m not sharing a BATHROOM with this person, okay? It’s not happening. But they happily follow Steve to their room and Megan quickly offers to sleep on the couch.

So, the next day, they decide to head to Claire’s house, based on the address Megan found initially. The house is completely empty so Frank is ready to just pack it all in and head home. And he’s not even the one on the couch! Back at the hotel, they meet Steve’s parents, who are decorating the tree as Santa and Mrs. Claus. They tell Steve they’re not sure how much longer they are going to stay. Mrs. Claus encourages them to sign the guest book either way.

 As they nosily flip through the guestbook, they realize that Claire stayed at the hotel back in October and she left an address! They decide to check it out. The address is for a retirement home which makes Frank a little nervous. Megan continues to push him. He brings along her favorite flower, which Megan assures him is romantic, not creepy. IT MIGHT BE BOTH. Anyway, I think Frank mistakes a mute woman in a wheelchair for Claire, or maybe it is ruse to get in the building? I don’t remember. Anyway, he is kind of hanging around this wheelchair bound woman when Claire arrives. She is NOT happy to see him. He tries to invite her to coffee or out to dinner and she is a REAL HARD PASS on all of it. But inside her office, we the audience know she is conflicted.

Well, Megan is not ready to give up. She suggests that Frank just needs to work harder to win her back. Poor Frank agrees. So, the following night, they decide to go caroling to Claire’s house. Poor Frank sings their favorite Christmas song and Claire just shuts him down hard right in front of everyone. She reminds him that he was the one who broke up with her and she would appreciate him just leaving her be. So, Megan storms off to and feels like Frank didn’t really give her the full story. Frank tells Megan that the main reason they broke up was because her dad didn’t think he was good enough for her, particularly because he planned to propose to Claire with a homemade ring.

So, Megan decides to see if she can talk Claire into meeting with Frank.

Meanwhile, Megan and Steve are really getting pretty acquainted. She’s helping him wrap piles and piles of gifts. That whole dog business is water under the bridge at this point. For some reason, she also gets involved in some kind of holiday themed recess type game that involves passing a giant inflated ornament back and forth. When a child’s pass goes high, Steve takes the opportunity to catch Megan as she gets off balance. They are obviously eliminated from the game. Shortly thereafter, Steve gets a call from his caterer. They are two hours away from their annual Veteran’s lunch when the caterer cancels. Guys, the caterer would have had to be set up by then for this! In what world are they calling TWO HOURS before the lunch? Steve is panicked but Megan is ready to step in and help.

What I don’t realize, is that these guys are planning to serve a traditional Christmas dinner to these folks. And there is certainly not enough time for that. But they give it the old college try with a VERY CASUAL product placement for Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom Soup. Guys, it is EGREGIOUS. And poor Steven has to act absolutely blown away when the green bean casserole comes out of the oven. Like, it’s the best thing he’s ever seen. Look, “green bean casserole” is one of my favorite holiday dishes. But let’s not pretend it’s anything more than one ancient midwesterner’s attempt to choke down a green vegetable. And now we are all reaping the benefits. Anyway, not only is Steve eternally grateful that such a dish will grace the tables of this Veteran’s lunch, the guests are all just marveling at it. CAMPBELLS SOUP ladies and gentlemen. Campbells Soup saved this lunch from certain disaster.

So anyway, Megan did ultimately get through to Claire and she agrees to have dinner with Frank. However, at the end of the dinner, she STILL doesn’t want anything to do with him because she’s afraid of getting hurt. This lady! What else can we do at this point? Well, it’s pretty clear the answer is NOTHING.

So, Megan and Frank decide to head home. They are all loaded up and fully driving before they realize that Steve’s VERY GOOD BOY Max has joined them on the trip. So, they head back to return him. If my memory serves me correctly, they return to a Christmas party in full swing. Frank reconnects with Claire and finally tells her the whole story of why he never got back in touch with her and how her dad said he wasn’t good enough for her. I assume Claire and Steve also get together but at this point I have NO memory of it. Did she decide to open a restaurant there? Are she and Frank staying? I honestly don’t remember.

So, what did you think? What big plot points did I miss?

Guys its time for our favorite Blondie Blonde Head and whoever is starring alongside him. I can’t wait to see how many times he runs off to touch up his VERY NATURAL BLONDE HAIR. So obviously I am talking about Nantucket Noel. I’ve realized something over the years. To make 40 movies per Christmas Season, Hallmark recycles elements of movies over and over again. NOT TROPES. But sets and location specific components. For example, Nantucket Noel seems to just take the whole Christmas Sail set and pretend to be set on the east coast. I’m pretty sure it’s the same dock and there’s a Christmas Boat parade which we’ve NEVER seen in a Hallmark movie until this year. No judgment; just an observation. Anyway, let’s get after it before Trevor’s roots grow out.

The seaside town of Nantucket is all decked out for Christmas. It looks exactly like the town and set for Christmas Sail. Our leading lady,Christina and her pal (who’s name I never bother to catch) inspect a small Christmas Tree in a boat. I believe it’s the friend’s husband and I never catch his name nor do I know what their business is. I know they do jazz hands in nearly every scene hereafter but otherwise, I have no idea.

Trevor, playing Andy, is a busy businessman taking calls from the back seat of a town car. HE keeps his head low so none of his blonde root spray rubs off the ceiling of the car.

Wow now we get to witness the peaceful hand off between two SUPER CHILL Hallmark ex-spouses. Andy’s daughter, Wink, is reluctant to leave her mom because Andy is, as I mentioned earlier, a busy businessman who cares more about work than family. Also, Andy immediately starts out with the bar VERY HIGH as he promises Wink the BEST CHRISTMAS EVER. The ex-wife gets in a few jabs at Andy’s expense, which I appreciate! Like, hey don’t forget to spend time with your daughter! Get off your dang phone please!

Christina remains committed to that royal purple coat indoors as she remembers a moment with her mom as a child painting a mermaid mural on a wall of their toy shop. After putting in a solid 5 minutes of staring into space, she puts a “be back soon” sign on the door and leaves again.

She heads to the coffee shop to hear the hot town goss. Under that ugly coat was an absolutely adorable sweater. Anyway, this guy in town, Oscar, is retiring and they are going to redevelop the wharf. She and her pals are worried about the changes that may come with such a redevelopment. Christina mentions the boat parade. ANOTHER BOAT PARADE YOU SAY?

Andy, still suited up, shows Wink the wharf. It was her grandma’s favorite place. Andy forgets he’s talking to a child and gets super deep and philosophical. Wink doesn’t understand ANYTHING he’s talking about.

Andy’s hair remains nearly immovable as he takes a phone call outside. Wink is left standing idly by. And then somehow Christina trips and falls RIGHT into Andy’s arms. Wink thinks the dock might be sinking. Then, to add insult to injury, Christina struggles with the door to her toy shop again as she meets Andy and Wink. Christina invites them to the boat parade that night and then Andy is off on another phone call. Wink decides to wander into this incredibly sad toy store. There are like two small displays of hipster toys and twice as many fake wrapped presents. Christina catches Wink stealing a sad little stuffed mermaid toy. Christina uses the classic kid threat of Santa watching to make her feel bad about it. Andy lightly scolds Wink like a parent who is not used to discipline but Christina suggests she do some good old fashioned hard work tomorrow at the store to make it right. Christina is inexplicably wandering the store in her sock feet. Is this just a little garage sale of hers or is it AN ACTUAL PLACE OF BUSINESS?

Wink and Andy head to his dad’s place. Andy’s dad, Oscar (yes, THAT Oscar, if you’re paying attention) introduces him to “Janice” who is not his girlfriend but his housekeeper and chef. I wonder if anything is happening there.

They all head inside and Andy checks on his roots in the bathroom. He remains fully suited up, pocket square and everything. Businessmen love to wear their suits no matter where they are! Wink is upset about the lack of Christmas decorations in this house. I AM DYING DYING DYING OVER THIS HOUSE AND THIS VIEW AND I WANT TO GO THERE IMMEDIATELY. Oh I love this house so much I’m not going to be able to concentrate on Trevor’s blonde hair rapidly growing out to reveal the dark adult hair colored roots beneath.

That night at the boat parade, Christina and her pals chat about how cute Andy is. I much prefer Christina’s evening jacket. Andy arrives. He hasn’t changed his clothes. Anyone want to bet that he will wear a suit tomorrow even though he’s on vacation and has no meetings? Guys, I’ve been around a lot of real busy businessmen and even they don’t wear suits when the occasion calls for casual.

Anyway, it’s time for the boat parade. It’s hard to be snarky about this because I’ve decided I love Christmas boat parades. Andy has decided he loves boat parades too. Christina meets Andy’s dad, Oscar. He knows Janice too. Oh guys, Andy and Oscar’s last name is unfortunate and I’m not going to bother writing it down. Oscar kind of gets them on high alert. He mentions that he wants to put in a new marina and then basically tells Christina that they will all have to be out as soon as possible. He is kind of sassy with them about his little development project. But like, when was he going to give them official notice? He probably would have had some public meetings? Especially if any of it was owned by the city? Anyway, it gets REAL HEATED.

The next morning, Christina and friends meet at the coffee shop. They strategize about what to do to stop Oscar. Guys, if Christina wants to save her toy shop, she should probably start by selling more than like 10 sad little stuffed mermaid toys. Just so you know I’m sharing my honest feelings, I must admit that I love Christina’s sweater.

Later, Wink inspects her balcony and the ocean. Oscar sits at the table reading the newspaper. Wink wants to go get a Christmas tree. Okay well, surprise, surprise, Andy is in a full suit again. But I LOVE the color. I am not sure about the striped shirt but that green suit coat is great. Janice made cookies for Christina “from Oscar.” I am not sure cookies will help smooth over the whole, tearing down her mother’s toy shop to put in a marina but I guess it’s worth a shot! Wink says she likes Christina too. It’s not really about “liking” her though right? Wink has a great headband on too.

Andy drops Wink off to work with Christina. Christina gives Andy another earful about keeping the wharf just as it is. BUT GUYS THE TOY STORE NEEDS A MASSIVE REVAMP. It just does. It doesn’t deserve to stay there as is. I can’t imagine she’s turned a profit in years with that merchandise. But Christina manages to keep herself busy and teaches Wink to wrap gifts and I pause and take notes. Wink asks to call her mom. I think this is going to blow up on busy businessman Andy.

Speaking of the blonde devil, Andy walks and talks making more business calls. Christina tells Wink that her parents were divorced too and she didn’t see her dad very much. Andy is late to get Wink so the girls crank up the music and have a wrapping party. Wink asks a question she is entirely too old to ask- does Christina think they’ll see a mermaid? Christina unhelpfully responds “Not yet.” There is no one around to pat either of them on the head. Then the power goes out.

Andy arrives to the girls hanging around outside. Sure, that is the preferable option in THE WINTER. Christina tells him her power is out and an electrician can’t come for two days because homeowners having trouble with Christmas lights is the local priority. BUT SURE let’s let her keep her business in that location. For some reason, Andy knows something about electrical work and gets the power back on. Andy mentions that a shop on main street might be more cost effective and practical and have less electrical problems. Christina brushes the comment off. Regardless, she offers to help them find a tree the following day.

So, the three of them head to the tree lot. She promised to take them to a secret spot but this looks like a tree lot right in the center of town. Maybe she was joking. Christina, of course, knows an unusual amount about all the trees. She wonders if she can change his dad’s mind about the wharf. Christina is temporarily blinded as she accidentally stares directly into Andy’s hair.

Andy admits that regardless of what happens, their rent is going to go up and they’ll have to move. She tells him she doesn’t want to move because her mom started that store in that location. Andy asks, then why are you so intent on running it straight into the ground, both literally and figuratively? Basically, SHE IS TERRIFIED OF CHANGE. I would be upset about losing the mural her mom painted. That’s fair. But otherwise, WHAT are we doing here?

Don’t mind me, I’m just still DYING OVER OSCAR’S HOUSE. Move over, Janice. I want that job. Andy and Wink invite Christina to stay and decorate. I’d do anything they asked if it meant hanging around the house. Need me to mop the floor? On my hands and knees? Are we sure you don’t need me to run a vacuum over the stairs? Make dinner? I’LL DO ANYTHING.

Alright well now they’ve decorated the whole tree and it looks straight out of a Balsam Hill ad. Is it? Andy steps away to take a call so Christina hoists Wink up to put the lighthouse at the top of the tree. I like the idea of a lighthouse treetopper. Is it too basic? Oscar isn’t happy about the tree and tells Christina it wasn’t her place to get the tree or help put up the lighthouse or whatever. He seemed nice initially but now he’s kind of jerk. Andy only hears the tail end of his little tirade because of said business call. Meanwhile WINK REFUSES TO READ A ROOM and keeps asking Christina to read a story to her. Andy takes Christina home. Christina apologizes and asks if his dad hates Christmas. Andy tells her that his dad was probably triggered by watching Christina and Wink put on the lighthouse tree topper. It was something Oscar and his wife did together. Christina is like, well that information would have been helpful BEFORE you took that little business call. Christina gives Andy some advice about working. Andy is like, look, you run what must be the most unprofitable toy store in all the land on a delipidated wharf. I’m not going to take advice from you.

Later, Andy tells his dad to chill about the Christmas tree and the lighthouse. And I hope tells him how rude he was, but the water is RUNNING BEHIND ME AND I CAN’T HEAR. Oscar tells Andy that he had a great meeting with the rest of the wharf business owners. Oscar DOES NOT like Christina though. Andy encourages him to just talk to Christina on his own, but he doesn’t want to. Later, Andy watches Wink sleep in a completely lit bedroom.

The next morning, Andy is back in that royal blue suit. Janice is baking cookies with Wink. Andy asks if she can teach him but Wink has already promised her mom so there’s no time for both. Andy has to head into town for business purposes but tries to ask Wink to hang out later.

Meanwhile, in the coffee shop, Christina wears a beautiful maroon jacket. Why was she wearing that ugly purple one when she had so many other great ones? Christina’s pals tell her they accepted an offer from Oscar. Christina is like I can’t believe Oscar thinks he can just buy people out! And her friends are like, no that’s exactly what he can do. We are quite pleased to take his money and do something better with it.

Andy’s official business is actually browsing the pathetic toy store looking for something for Wink. He offers to help Christina find a new place and is striking out on ideas for Wink. This comes as no surprise considering there are about 15 choices and they are all some variation of a stuffed animal. Christina shows him that sad stuffed mermaid Wink tried to steal earlier. Later, one of Christina’s friends does a walking dramatic reading of “A Christmas Carol” along with actual caroling. Again, Andy tries to convince Christina to move her store into town. He points out that other people are happy to take his dad’s money. Christina insists that the wharf isn’t sinking and then says that’s part of its charm. THE SAFETY HAZARD. The ABSOLUTE IMMINENT DANGER of a wharf that is gradually sinking is “Charming.” Sure, Jan. Christina takes him out to the middle of nowhere to presumably murder him and dump his body to teach Oscar a lesson. Wait, no. She just took him to Mermaid Cove to see if they could find a mermaid. ANDY ASKS IF SHE’S SEEN A MERMAID AND SHE SAYS SHE’S STILL WAITING. GUYS. GUYS. If anyone desperately wanted to be a mermaid as a child it was ME. BUT THIS IS SOMETHING ELSE ENTIRELY. And no one pats either of them on the head. Andy wouldn’t permit it anyway for fear of his root touch up spray wearing off.

Andy tells her how hard it is to balance his work and life. Christina criticizes him for wearing a suit at the beach but to be fair, she forced him to go and it’s freezing out.

Later, Andy, Christina and Wink head to “Molly’s” restaurant to decorate gingerbread houses. Andy has a VERY AMBITIOUS vision for their gingerbread house. Guys, why are they calling all these activities the “Seaside Noel”? It’s stupid, right? Great. A Gingerbread building montage. Wow, Andy even took his jacket off for this. No wait, it’s back on. CONTINUITY. Andy takes a call and his house collapses. He PUTS THE PHONE AWAY to do some damage control as the timer runs out.

The judges are tough. Andy makes repairs I can only properly describe as “cheeky” to the house and they win. Later, they sit in the living room and rehash the whole story with grouchy old Oscar. Wink is still asking to read that gosh darn story. Her mom calls while she decorates an INSANELY GIGANTIC beautiful tree alone. Wink spills the beans about Christina too.

While Andy reads to Wink, Oscar looks on fondly.

Christina approaches her friends’ store or theatre troup? I am not sure what they sell or what they’re doing with the money.  But they use jazz hands to describe it. And I do know for sure that whatever they’re doing is essentially lighting all that money on fire. But the friends are having a closing sale and are gleefully moving downtown. Christina remains a stick in the mud. Molly, in an amazing sweater of her own, is also strongly considering moving. She wonders what is UP with Christina and Andy? And subtly encourages Christina to like, not think outside the box.

Back at Oscar’s, Andy has ditched the suits while he decorates cookies with Wink and Janice. Janice and Oscar reveal they knew each other as kids. Oscar asks Andy if Christina is interested in his offer to buy her out. Andy tells his dad that Christina is intent on going down with her ship. Oscar is not surprised. Andy wonders if there’s a way to make it all work. And Oscar is like it’s my way or the highway BUDDY! Andy is so distressed he runs upstairs to touch up his roots.

Janice, Andy and Wink with a third head band head into town to go see a movie. They run into Dora and Molly. Molly tells Andy that she hasn’t heard from Christina all day and is a little worried. The other ladies encourage Andy to go check on Christina. They basically give him a kick him out the door. Christina is at the shop, just working. I mean, yeah that is why she’s not at a movie in the middle of the day. It would be a bit absurd for her to close in the middle of the day to go see a movie, right? She tells Andy she’s working on a pitch to save the wharf. A wharf, which at this point, NO ONE ELSE CARES about saving except her. Everyone else is just diving into their room full of money Scrooge McDuck style. Instead of going to the movie, she asks Andy if he likes smores and she leads him… blindfolded to Mermaid Cove again? No, to a different spot where he can see the lighthouse. What about his quality time with his daughter at the movie? Okay now it’s NIGHT TIME? How long have they been there? Again, what about the quality time with Wink? They were supposed to see a matinee?  Who is taking care of her? Anyway, Christina seems to demonstrate to Andy for the first time how to make smores.

Christina calls Andy sweet and he tells her she’s beautiful and then THEY KISS. OMG. They kiss again!

Later, everyone gets all suited up for the “Snow Ball” and Festival of Trees. I didn’t know this event was on the agenda. Janice asks Oscar to save a dance for her. Everyone tells everyone they look nice. THEY DO. Dora and Wink wander off and Andy asks Christina to dance. Andy is confused about all the themes of each tree. SAME. They look ridiculous. Christina decides to talk to Oscar. Christina asks Oscar to reach a compromise. Oscar doesn’t really want to hear it. He isn’t going to derail his whole plan for her. I feel like if Christina could just blurt out that whole business about still grieving over her mom it would go a long way but she just can’t manage to get it out.

As she storms out, she literally runs into Andy. While Andy checks to make sure his hair hasn’t been damaged by this run in, Christina tells him how the shop is all she has left of her mom. Andy is like, well you should work through the grieving process a little more then. But then Andy turns around and really lets his dad have it. Honestly, this whole exchange is probably the best five minutes of the movie.

Later, Christina sits on a rock and talks to her mom out loud. Like a sane person.

Meanwhile, Oscar sits outside on his beach in a GREAT purple-y jacket. Janice comes out with hot chocolate. Oscar tells Janice she’s good to him even when he doesn’t deserve it. Oscar tells her that he regrets what he said to Christina and Andy. He sort of comes to his senses. Then Oscar admits that he likes Janice. She’s really cute about it. AND OMG THEY KISS. What is this rated?!

Meanwhile, Wink, in a fourth winter hat, asks Andy if he likes Christina. And she tells him she likes visiting Nantucket too. I think they are decorating the reindeer in the yard? In their unzipped jackets and no hats.

Oscar asks if Andy wants to take over the wharf project and spend more time in Nantucket. He is stoked about that. He asks for Oscar’s help in touching up his roots before he heads to talk to Christina.

Christina, walks aimlessly downtown with her unzipped jacket and no hat and notices that the “bistro” is closing. She wonders if Molly wants to share the space with her. FINALLY. Just what this town needs; a restaurant/toy store. That makes sense. But Christina is finally willing to move out of the wharf so we’re calling it a win.

She starts packing up the handful of items in the toy shop in a really great sweater dress. Oscar stops by and tells her that he was supposed to retire but he took on this project as a way to honor his wife’s legacy. He tells Christina that Andy will now be running the wharf project. Christina heads outside and see Andy holding a white blind fold? So now he’s taking her somewhere to murder her FOR ONCE.

The whole gang is there at the beach for “Christmas Eve Smores.” This seems cute. Oh, the whole wharf business community is there for smores. Then the friends reveal that they’ve made a canvas duplicate of her mom’s mural. SEE! That’s all she needed the whole time. Then Andy and Christina kiss again! And they all circle up to have smores. Andy sneaks into the woods for one last root touch up.

The next day, Christina joins Andy’s family for dinner. They laugh and laugh at Andy, who has gone one shade lighter hoping no one would notice.

Guys, this movie was so dumb. It is probably going to be down at the bottom for me. I really hate when people behave so irrationally as Christina did for the majority of this movie! So I did not enjoy it very much at all. I loved the boat parade of course. I love making fun of fellow blonde adults clinging to the last strands of their youth. But otherwise, I was VERY MUCH NOT A FAN. What did you think?

A Holiday in Harlem

Okay you guys. We did it. We made it through another week. Just in time for the marathon that is Thanksgiving week. It’s crazy, right? Okay let’s get into it.

Our grandma, Mama Belle, has a fabulous red coat and a Christmas broach situation. I love it! Also, we get a long shot of the happiest mailman in the land, Eric. He arrives at Mama Belle’s as she’s on her way out. He is delivering a package to her. She tells Eric the mailman that her granddaughter sends the same thing every year and never includes a note. AND MAMA BELLE HATES IT. She decides to reject the package so Eric can take it home.

Our leading lady, Jasmine and her boss have dinner and the conversation is definitely not ADR. She is offered a promotion RIGHT OUT OF THE GATE- Vice President for North America. Jasmine is not sure she wants the job. She doesn’t want to be in New York, even though her whole family is there. She tells her boss its complicated. GUYS. It turns out to NOT BE THAT COMPLICATED.

Back in Harlem, Mama Bell is supervising Caleb hanging lights in his own hardware store. Jasmine calls her to see what’s up with rejecting the package. Mama Belle is like, the annual fruit basket with no card is basically no gift at all so I don’t want it. Then, Jasmine inadvertently reveals she’s in New York so “Mama Belle” basically guilts her in to coming by before her flight to the Virgin Islands that evening.

Caleb’s pregnant sister, Katrina dumps her kids with him before heading to a doctor’s appointment.

Jasmine heads to Harlem. She stops at a little stand selling holiday clothing so she is dressed for “Yuletide Yoga” with her grandma. She really goes big. On her way she peeks into Caleb’s store. She comes in and meets Katrina’s kids. And we learn that she and Caleb were best friends. They have a weird little exchange and then Jasmine is off to Yuletide Yoga.

This is a yoga class I’d be in to for sure. It’s not Christmas themed POSES though to be clear. I WISH IT WAS. Jasmine struggles to make the pose and Mama Belle tries to help her for some reason. They obviously fall and Mama Belle hurts herself. They wind up at the hospital but Mama Belle doesn’t want to slow down or be impaired by this injury. They get to her apartment and realize she can’t get up the stairs as she’s wheelchair bound. The whole Christmas Jamboree planning group huddles around the stairs. Are they supposed to have a meeting or what’s happening? For some reason, Jasmine agrees to stay and help chair the Christmas Jamboree. I’m not sure what has moved her between Yuletide Yoga and now but whatever. Mama Belle agrees as long as Caleb helps her. I don’t really know why Mama Belle can’t chair this committee with a sprained ankle, but what do I know? Then, they turn on the lights of the apartment building.

Jasmine and Mama Belle finally get inside her house. Jasmine remembers it as the “neutral zone” for her parents to drop off and pick her up after they were divorced. Whew that’s a bummer. Caleb has fixed up a lot of things around the house for her. Mama Belle tells Jasmine that her mom is also in town and that Jasmine will need to draw a name for Secret Santa. I don’t understand this family dynamic yet.

On his way out, Jasmine thanks Caleb for looking out for her grandma. He adds her to the super official group text for planning the Jamboree. This is much less organized than Jasmine prefers.

The next day, Mama Belle is furious because Jasmine has cleaned up her office. But then she is quite pleased with what Jasmine’s done. Then Jasmine’s mom shows up. THIS WOMAN COULD BE JASMINE’S SISTER. I’m not sure Mama Belle is old enough to be her grandma either, to be clear. Jasmine’s mom wants to tell them all about her trip with her “special friend” which seems like Jasmine’s queue to leave. Oh her dad is also back from his trip in case anyone was wondering.

Jasmine holds the first meeting for the Jamboree team. They are all SASSY. She is very no nonsense business and wants to mix everything up. EVERYONE HATES IT. The man in charge of the fashion bash wants no part of the poetry slam. When Jasmine pushes it by trying to suggest he bring his “je ne sais quoi” to the poetry slam, he just says no. I laugh out loud.   

Caleb reminds her that she shouldn’t try to fix something that isn’t broken. I mean, it’s basically all planned and the wheels are in motion. Jasmine is NOT NEEDED. So, Jasmine tells the gang to forget everything she just said. Back at home, Mama Belle is baking. So, why can’t she chair the Jamboree business? Doesn’t seem to injured to me!

Jasmine picks a name out of the gold bag for secret Santa.

At the basketball court, Jasmine runs into her old basketball coach. The coach is now a city council person? Jasmine runs into her dad and apologizes for not calling him. He, much like her mother, alludes to the fact that they are in communication now. So what’s up with that? Also she seemed genuinely happy to see each member of her family so what about that is complicated?

 She seems to get along with everyone but she doesn’t keep in touch with them very well. I am not sure what’s going on here but we’ve now begun a shooting competition for children. After the competition, she runs into Katrina for the first time since arriving in Harlem. After the event, she and Caleb play basketball. He tells her he used to watch all her games and keep her stats.

The next day, Jasmine and Katrina catch up at the store. She is looking for Caleb. Outside, Katrina tells Jasmine that Caleb carried mistletoe in his pocket to try and kiss Jasmine. WHAT. Jasmine is surprised. That’s cute and weird. They get a tree for the store. At the hardware store, the whole gang does some reminiscing and then she and Caleb head out to eat.

Caleb introduces her to the owner of the restaurant and he tells her its all on the house. Jasmine asks if this is a date. She reminds Caleb she’s leaving after Jamboree. The owner of the restaurant really wants to host the Christmas Eve dinner, but he never wins the lottery that Mama Belle established to choose the restaurant.

Caleb asks what happened to their friendship. He basically didn’t hear anything from her after she left for college. I don’t really understand what her explanation is. IT’S NOT GREAT. That’s FOR DANG SURE.

Caleb and Jasmine stroll home and talk about the Jamboree.

Okay now it’s poetry slam time. This seems like the silliest component of the Jamboree. Great, now, Caleb is reading a poem. Help me, Ronda. Jasmine sees her parents at the poetry slam. TOGETHER. I still don’t believe this woman is her mother. Jasmine is SHOCKED. And not very happy about them getting back together. Also, their reason for divorcing was basically that they didn’t want to ever argue in front of her? I think?

Later Jasmine gets home to hear Mama Belle on the phone with that restaurant owner that wants to host the Christmas Eve dinner. He’s started a rebellion against the lottery. AND EVERYONE IS REVOLTING.

Jasmine gets a call from her boss and vents a little about her family. That seems inappropriate, right? Also, what’s there to complaint about? Everyone is really nice and she is happy to see them and the only work for the Jamboree is work she’s creating herself. Also, what was that boss calling about in the first place?

Back at Mama Belle’s, Jasmine’s mom is pounding a cup or either coffee or hot chocolate just FILLED with marshmallows. At this hour?

Jasmine heads over to Caleb’s and learns about his furniture restoration and design hobby. They head over to talk to Sam and his little social media rebellion. She gets Sam to back down by threatening to post a scathing review on social media to her 100k followers. She admits to Caleb she may have added a few zeros to her follower count. Back at home, Mama Belle has changed her tune about the lottery. So now, Jasmine is stuck trying samples of meals from chefs all over the neighborhood.

Tonight it’s time for the “Fashion Bash,” Mr. Je Nais Se Quoi is all over this. Jasmine’s dad just like does his THING up on that catwalk. Caleb says something that Jasmine thinks is brilliant but I can’t hear over the clapping. Jasmine tells Mama Belle that she thinks everyone should cook for Christmas Eve. It will be a block party-food trucks, etc… I LOVE IT.

The Jamboree committee is STOKED. They are all on board. Jasmine hits a snag at the city office. She didn’t file the required permits on time. LUCKILY her old basketball coach is on the city council and pulls some strings.

Alright, it’s BLOCK PARTY TIME. Well, it’s time to set up anyway.

After the prep work, Jasmine and Caleb head back to his apartment. She suggests he sell the furniture he refinishes or whatever. Caleb gets a little salty because he feels like he needs to take care of his family and Jasmine is being judgy…or something. Mama Belle knows she’s sad when she gets home.

Caleb tells Katrina about his fight with Jasmine. Katrina is like, well Jasmine is right. We should expand the store and you should sell your furniture here. JUST DON’T QUIT YOUR DAY JOB, GIRLFRIEND.

Jasmine talks to her mom about Caleb. Well, her mom sniffs it out of her. Jasmine tells her mom what it was like for her while her parents were going through their divorce. Her mom acts like this is the first time she’s ever realized that the divorce impacted her daughter in anyway.

It’s time to head to the block party. Jasmine realizes she forgot to get her secret Santa gift. No worries, she’ll get some overpriced knickknack at the party! (Spoiler, that is JUST what she does.) As they walk outside, they don’t see many people mingling. Jasmine decides to play some music but the speakers aren’t working or something. Jasmine meets Katrina’s husband finally. He agrees to DJ the block party because that is his actual profession but NO ONE LAUGHS when he tells them. Caleb wonders if they’re going to talk or if he’s going to get the silent treatment. They apologize and then he tells Jasmine that he and Katrina are considering expanding the store!

Katrina’s husband really cranks the party up with his DJ skills. I feel like Jasmine’s one contribution, to plug her iphone into speakers, was the stupidest part of this plan. The party didn’t come alive until they had a professional DJ. Now the whole street is dancing, including Jasmine and Caleb. Mama Belle pulls Jasmine away for a moment. She asks Jasmine what her plans are after Christmas. She tells her she’s really missed Jasmine. And she warns her not to lead Caleb on if she’s not planning to stay. She’s pretty tough!

Jasmine is emotional now when Caleb asks if she wants to dance more. So, she tells Caleb she’s going home. He gets kind of snippy with her.

The next morning, the whole family is together for Christmas. Jasmine is wearing the BEST sweater! Jasmine’s mom and grandma wonder if it’s time to share their family mac and cheese recipe. Um, yes please I would like that recipe as well. I’m keeping my eyes peeled for any secret ingredients but I haven’t seen any yet. After it goes in the oven, Jasmine inspects the Secret Santa bag. ALL the names are Caleb which means her grandma HAS been fixing the Secret Santa exchange FOR YEARS.

She is so happy about this that she tells the ladies about her promotion and that she’s going to take it. Later, Jasmine’s dad shakes his gift to see what he got. He tells her he’s excited to finally spend Christmas all together. They just OPEN a random present for some reason?

Then the whole crew arrives. Jasmine wants to talk to Caleb but he says they should do it later. At dinner, Grandma Belle announces Jasmine’s new job. NOW Caleb wants to talk. Later, Jasmine sits outside by herself. Caleb finds her. He wonders why she decided to stay around. She says there are too many reasons INCLUDING HIM. Then she gives him her gift. It’s an ornament. OH it’s a mistletoe ornament. That’s kind of cute. And then THEY KISS. Oh that’s cute.

This movie was just fine. I feel like it’s mostly your standard Hallmark movie with a few fun twists! Definitely worth a watch while you’re baking or folding laundry or whatever.

One December Night

The movie begins with a journey through time of Steve Bedford and Mike Sullivan, a big time Rock duo or folk group or something. I don’t know. Anyway we watch snippets starting with them singing their big hits, ending with the band’s dissolution. Flash forward to ten years later. Quinn, our leading lady, holds two DEFINITELY FULL cups of coffee stacked on top of each other, as you do with two hot, heavy drinks. She’s talking about music reviews on the phone and sees a very good singer outside the coffee shop. Also, I think Eloise should just use her real name in every movie. If I had a girl child, ELOISE would be at the top of my list of names. Quinn knows this singer, Addison. In fact, she is working on getting her a record deal or a concert tour or something.

Quinn heads into work and talks more about Addison to her friend and coworker. She is working on getting her a spot on someone’s tour. Anybody’s tour! Laurel last weekend and now Quinn is really pushing me towards a shorter hair cut. She plays Addison’s song in the office and her boss tells her to turn it down. Steve’s manager, Jason, calls Diane, Quinn’s boss. Diane seems fun. She’s enlisted her nephew Troy with the unfortunate hair cut and work ethic to be the producer of the big live reunion show for Bedford and Sullivan. Diane takes Quinn out for a second round of coffee and asks Quinn about Bedford and Sullivan. They are reuniting. Diane wants Quinn to talk to Mike and convince him to do the concert because well BOMBSHELL, he’s her dad. She doesn’t want to do it. She agrees to do it if Diane gives Addison a tour spot. Diane turns kind of cool at the end of that scene there. So I think Diane’s company represents Mike but Quinn is NOT on that account and seems surprised that Diane knows that Mike is her dad. And to that I say, really, Quinn?

Quinn heads to see her dad. I missed whether they are estranged or get along or whatever. Update: they are estranged. Quinn stays in a hotel? That’s weird right? The hotel clerk recognizes her last name and Quinn just suffers through that whole interaction.

Steve and Jason get all set up to practice for the big show. Mike still isn’t interested in showing up or practicing. Why have they booked a show if he won’t do it? I feel like I missed some important background dialogue but there’s no going back now.

That night, Quinn heads to the local gift shop. There is band merch everywhere. Actually they should just call it a Bedford and Sullivan gift shop because that seems to be all that’s for sale. She is planning to meet Steve’s band manager there. It is her old pal Jason. So, Steve is his dad. Guys, this store in general has me scratching my head throughout. Is it a Christmas store? Is it a band merch store? Is it just a quaint small town knickknack shop? OR IS IT ALL OF THE ABOVE. And why were they meeting at this store? Does Jason own it? SO MANY QUESTIONS.

They decide to talk at their favorite diner. We hear some backstory-that Steve scammed Mike out of half the publishing rights at some point but it sounds like things were tense before and after that. Quinn thinks Steve was just out for himself but Jason says her dad was completely uncooperative. And more drama that who cares. Frenchie, from Grease, is their waitress. Jason tells Quinn there is a photo shoot tomorrow for promotional photos and Mike needs to be there.

Jason and Steve burn the midnight oil. Or maybe it’s morning because who knows what time it is ever in a Hallmark movie? Jason tells Steve that he’s been offered a residency in Las Vegas. Steve is like, cool beans, but I am really going to town on signing these albums so let’s talk about it later.

Quinn heads to her dad’s house. She seems to be dreading it. Mike opens the door and seems happy to see her.

She and her dad have a tense little back and forth when he realizes she’s there for work because obviously he doesn’t want to do any work. There is some UNFINISHED BUSINESS between these two. He seems happy to see her but it is NOT mutual.

Quinn heads back to the gift shop. This place is just packed with Christmas stuff. Again, what kind of store is it? Back at the hotel, Jason gets Steve a new room key because Steve lost his. Steve jovially takes pictures with fans. He doesn’t want to do the photo shoot without Mike. I don’t get why they’re trying to force this concert? Like who wanted to do the concert initially? Why? Quinn shares that she hasn’t talked to her dad in eight years. Or maybe she hasn’t been home in eight years? I really don’t know. She somehow is able to separate the horrible things Steve did to her dad business wise from “Uncle Steve” her family and friend. So she was genuinely happy to see him. I actually don’t think I could do that. But she tells Jason that Steve has always been good to her. Again, I just feel like if you’ve treated my parents poorly I would have a hard time separating that. OH WELL.

However, this compartmentalization gets Quinn thinking. She suggests that she and Jason switch parents to get this reunion to happen.

The next morning, Troy comes in with some BAD news from the network. Bless his heart. He just hasn’t found what he’s good at. Quinn’s idea is already working. She’s taken Steve out for some hang time which ultimately leads to Steve agreeing to take solo photos for the promotional posters. Quinn drives Jason to Mike’s house and shows him the secret knock to get Mike to answer the door. They look through old photos together. Somehow their little convo gets Mike to agree to do his photos too. These sneaky sneaks!

Mike and Steve reconnect and it’s…fun. They’re having a blast catching up. SARCASM. Bless Troy’s heart. He somehow minored in photography in college so he’s going to take the photos after sending the photographer home. The boys have the poses down. Troy manages to keep his thumb away from the camera lens.

Quinn and Jason debrief at the diner with Frenchie. Quinn has a great jacket on. Frenchie tells them their dad’s music really touches people.

Jason walks in on his dad signing both sides of a bunch of records. He seems really obsessed with signing them. Jason reminds him he only needs to sign one side of it and Steve seems a little confused.

Later, Quinn stops by her dad’s house. She does some snooping (for WHAT, I don’t know) and is caught by her dad. Quinn and her dad have a conversation I don’t understand. He tells her he agreed to the show because he needs money. Quinn tells him he may need to start compromising or he’s going to be in big trouble, financially. I’m not really sure what his deal is other than just being like a bohemian artist?

Jason and Quinn walk and talk while Jason holds an armful of signed records.

The next day, Jason and Mike walk and talk in the woods on their way to go ice fishing. Boy, Jason and Quinn are SNEAKY. They are going to make great parents. Quinn and Steve take more photos in front of “Big Red” which is Mike’s house and also the place they recorded their first album. The house originally belonged to his parents. SO, why on earth does he still have a mortgage? Or he mortgaged Big Red to pay for something else? I am not sure. But anyway, the money is drying up. Quinn and Steve remember caroling back in the good old days. Lorraine and the kids show up. WHO IS LORRAINE? WHO ARE THESE KIDS?

Then Mike shows up and both guys agree to carol with the kids! Wow this seems like a big deal. Wow then, before we know it, the guys head inside to play the piano and sing together. Quinn and Jason sit outside so as to not get in the way. Quinn doesn’t want them to do anything to jinx it, including watching them play! Smart.

Later Quinn and Jason chat and decide to go shopping. Jason remembers really great Christmases with the Sullivans after his own parents split up. I missed this but is Jason wearing that sweater for real? Quinn and Jason have different memories of their dads growing up. It sounds like they were not your typical Hallmark dads, to say the least.

The next day, Jason wakes Quinn with an extension cord emergency. Mike needs 2000 feet of extension cords apparently. He is all set up OUTSIDE. He wants to practice outside so they can get used to the elements. Everyone agrees that’s a good idea. Also why didn’t anyone else think of that?

Addison has arrived to open the show and sings over a practice and prep montage. Mike and Steve continue to argue about everything. Quinn decorates Jason’s hotel room. Guys, the hotel is already pretty decorated. Troy remains TROY throughout. Lorraine is there too. WHO IS LORRAINE.

At some point in the future, Mike and Steve record radio promos. Steve makes a little mistake and gets a little defensive. He also gets a little confused in the middle of it. This feels a little ominous. I’ve always wondered how they record those local promos.

After recording the promos, Jason looks around desperately for a friend for lunch. There are no takers. As a consolation prize, Quinn offers to help decorate the town Christmas tree with him instead. I just feel like decorating a giant tree outside is not the same as lunch at a nice restaurant. Am I alone? Troy is there of course. He’s helping decorate the tree too. Then Troy has a rare moment of self-awareness about his abilities and the way in which he received his current job.

The next morning, Quinn is wearing another Christmas eye mask. Who sleeps with those on anyway? And why is it always still on her head when she answers the door. I mean, I know why. It’s so we can all see it. But IN REAL LIFE? Why.

Mike and Steve argue over the set list. No one is paying attention to Quinn’s adorable sweater. Steve delivers a pretty low blow when he mentions Mike’s deceased wife. So, Mike walks off the stage and that’s the end of practice for the day.

Later, Jason and Quinn rehash the day while they try and fix the bobblehead Mike broke on his way out. Jason agrees to try and call the network to tell them they will not be playing “One December Night.”

The next day, Steve tells Jason he wishes he could make things right. Now we’re getting somewhere.

Quinn asks Mike if he could use some help decorating his house. She has another great sweater. Then Jason and Steve arrive. We haven’t even begun to talk about Steve’s sweaters. Steve announces he is not there to fight. He shows Mike THE coin they flipped to decide the band’s name. He asks to flip a coin to see if they’ll do the show. Mike reiterates that they are not playing One December Night. The coin determines they will do the show BUT Jason reveals to Quinn that the coin is actually heads on both sides. And it seems like maybe it’s a bit they’re all in on except Quinn?

That night the gang goes to an adorable food truck festival/tree lighting. I feel like tree lightings this year have been underwhelming? Am I right about that? Later, Jason and Quinn go out to eat. MORE FOOD? When Jason learns that Mike doesn’t have a Christmas tree, he decides they must go get on immediately. They do somehow, find a tree in the middle of the night. They seem like they’re drunkenly trying to sneak this tree inside with all the giggling and shushing that’s happening. They quietly get it all decorated as well. WHOA and then they just start KISSING. And that’s when Mike decides to come downstairs. He is glad to have the tree and I’m not sure if he’s glad about the rest of it.

Quinn and Jason walk up to the hotel and talk. She says that her dad had a heavy drinking problem and she was all alone when her mom died. Whew. It’s A LOT. I don’t really know where all that came from. I thought she wanted to talk about kissing Jason.

The next day, Quinn learns that they have to play One December Night or the show is cancelled. They have some ideas to accomplish this, none of which are great. One idea is to have Steve record himself singing it on his own and cutting that into the broadcast. Obviously that would infuriate Mike. So, Quinn decides to talk to him. He is home, decorating for Christmas. Quinn continues to be sneaky and suggests they make shortbread cookies. Mike tells her that her mom always made his mom’s shortbread recipe even though the cookies were terrible. That’s kind of sweet. After a lovely afternoon of baking, Mike knows she has an ulterior motive for coming by. Quinn gives him the bad news. He still doesn’t want to sing the song and is ready to lose the house over it. Then, he apologizes to Quinn for basically her whole childhood and while her mom was dying. She just jumps up and hugs him. It’s a nice moment.

Steve makes an executive decision about the show-he’s going to sing One December Night because it might be their last show and they all need it to happen. He tells Jason he cannot do the residency in Vegas. He admits something we’ve all suspected this whole time. He has Alzheimer’s. They have a nice father son moment too about this revelation. WHEW THERE IS A LOT HAPPENING IN THIS MOVIE.

Addison arrives to open the show. She is star struck. Jason the whole group together to tell them that they shot the version of One December Night without Mike. Or maybe to tell them about the Alzheimer’s business? But he doesn’t have to because Mike agrees to do the song. Oh yay! BUT THEN, Troy comes in and before anyone can stop him, he admits that they shot a version of Steve singing it alone which blows the whole thing up. He bravely tries to take the blame but the damage is done. Mike and Quinn are pretty lit up about the whole thing.

Outside, Quinn tells Addison the show might not happen. Addison is unruffled about it. I find this whole interaction pretty unbelievable. She just knows that Quinn will pull through for everyone. NO PRESSURE THOUGH. Quinn tells Troy to unload the equipment because she is confident the show will happen. Is she not super mad about the whole recording the sacred song behind Mike’s back business?  Jason makes a phone call of his own. Quinn heads to her dad’s house. Are we worried he’s drinking? Oh, no he’s shoveling shortbread cookies into his mouth. She talks to him about the whole Steve betrayal business. I think we have all begun to understand why he did it. I mean, why we think he did it-for both of them. Finally, Quinn pulls out the big guns and asks her dad to do the show for her. She needs it. I mean, yeah that’s true. Maybe she should have started with that 45 minutes ago? Quinn urges Mike to talk to Steve.

Mike approaches Steve in the midst of looking for his jacket out by all the trailers. Mike is like, your jacket wouldn’t be on the ground by all of these trailers. What is going on? They head into Big Red and Steve shares his big news. They have a lovely moment of reconciliation. Mike tells Steve they fought because they’re brothers. That’s pretty sweet.

Diane calls Quinn and is very proud of her for pulling it off. Then Jason arrives to tell Quinn the Alzheimer’s news.

Okay is it concert time? Addison is singing her heart out in an adorable sparkly dress. She’s DEFINITELY REALLY SINGING, GUYS.

Steve and Mike get ready to go on. Mike helps Steve remember the words. I don’t remember Steve struggling with the lyrics from their songs at all during the whole movie but maybe it just a show of support. They introduce each other and do a fun little jokey old dude banter. It’s cute. I’m here for it. Off stage, Jason and Quinn are quite happy with themselves. Guys I kind of like One December Night the song. No that wasn’t the one. Now they’re singing it. Mike dedicates it to Quinn and her mom. This one is fine for old people, I guess. While they sing, Jason tells Quinn he has a present for her. Jason tells her he’s created a new contract to split the publishing rights between the two of them. So that was easy enough. Okay yes, I do like that song. But guys, IF he had agreed to do that from the beginning, we probably wouldn’t have needed this concert financially. I understand that we needed it emotionally. Obviously. But this, to me was the bigger issue to resolve.

Oh that isn’t the end of the movie. There is some kind of Christmas after party and Steve tells Jason a story he’s heard before. But what dad among us hasn’t done that? Quinn tells Jason she’s thinking of splitting her time between Pineville and the city. They KISS and their DADS see. OMG wouldn’t you just DIE? They all say Merry Christmas to each other and that’s the end of that!  OH NO They kiss again.

Guys this movie was a lot. Hallmark tried to pile on too many sad things. I mean, add a kid with cancer who won’t make it to Christmas and we’ve got a full Bingo. I liked this movie though. It was a totally unique concept and I liked the dynamic of the kids and their dads. But it was a HEAVY movie. I am ready for more Santa Stakeout type movies at this point. I need some wild silliness and ugly sweaters! PLEASE. What did you think?

A Christmas Family Tree

Okay guys, here we are. Second movie of the weekend. How are we all feeling? I gotta tell you, I really needed some levity this weekend and I’m not really sure I got it. Hoping Hallmark isn’t just a foster care sob fest every dang weekend because my heart can’t take it.

So the movie begins with some weird background music. It’s a really jarring Christmas song. I HATE IT. Vanessa is at work early. She looks longingly at a picture of someone’s family on their desk and then hurriedly leaves a bunch of gifts on everyone’s desks. The rest of the office arrives but nobody says thank you.

Later, Vanessa takes a phone call right in the middle of the office.

A family stops by to tell Vanessa how thankful they are for her. Wow they even break out into song. Well, two lines of We Wish You A Merry Christmas. Then they invite her for Christmas. Wow. Presumptuous. What did she do for them? I am assuming this couple adopted some combination of the children in front of us.

That evening, Vanessa strolls around outside, helping people as she goes. Then she walks into her beautifully decorated apartment. She gives her dog, Mickey, a present. He seems like a perfectly fine boy though small dogs aren’t my jam. Her friend/neighbor/coworker? arrives and judges her for being in sweats by 8:30. I mean, you guys, 8:30 is basically the middle of the night so I don’t see the problem. Then her friend judges every single one of us that watch all these movies. So, what’s that about? You’re the one making these movies, Hallmark! What are we going to do? Not watch them?

Then the friend asks if she got her ancestry DNA results. Casual Charles Schwab advertisement on the table? She reads through the breakdown of her heritage and then she realizes she has a paternal match. She’s too afraid to see who it is. It turns out that her biological dad is an hour away! They immediately look him up on social media.  She says, “He has a family.” Then her friend says, “That means you have a family.”  Oh, it’s too early for this. The friend wonders if he might be looking for her too! Vanessa agrees to email him.

We flash to her dad, Richard, falling off his roof putting up Christmas lights. Was it because of the email? His home is BEAUTIFULLY DECORATED. With ribbons on all the cabinet doors and all manner of other practical decoration. Then he tells his wife, Pauline that he thinks he has a daughter. He was dating a woman and got deployed and couldn’t find her when he got back. Pauline is the most chill wife in all the land and suggests that he call her. She’s chill like the mom in Elf is chill. So, Richard just CALLS Vanessa. No warning. Just cold calls her. Wow. Vanessa is a mess. Wow. It’s awkward. We all agree. But what else would you even say? He asks if she’d like to meet in person. I mean, we’ve only got 80 minutes here so we can’t waste a second trying to decide if we should meet him, I suppose. Richard is ready to just jump in the car and drive to the city to meet her.

They meet at a park next to her house. Richard just hugs her. So everyone is just perfectly calm and fine about all of this right away. They go get hot chocolate. Vanessa delivers heartbreaking detail after heartbreaking detail about her life up until that point. It is frankly, too much to bear. She tells Richard that her mom died when she was nine and she ended up in foster care. She says a couple fostered her until college. Why didn’t they adopt her? I don’t get this. She didn’t have any relatives. The case should have moved to permanency at some point? Vanessa works at a foster care agency now. Then she asks what happened with him and her mom. He tells her he never knew about her and never knew what happened to “Trish” who Vanessa called “Patty.” Well that’s curious. Then Richard invites her to spend Christmas with his family. WHOA. I mean, that is A LOT right? He then suggests that a new stranger pick her up and bring her to his house-a place she has never been, filled with additional people she doesn’t know. All because of a notification on a for-profit genealogy website. ARE WE REALLY GOING TO DO THIS? Guys we are verging dangerously on horror movie territory.

But Chris is super cute, so Vanessa agrees to hop into his car. Chris worries he is the lead in a horror movie of his own and asks, so, like, why are you coming to spend Christmas with this family? I’ve never met you.  Vanessa is like, Richard didn’t tell you? OH GIRL let me catch you up.

They stop on this one-hour drive for a sit down coffee, as you do. OMG A TYLER HYNES CAMEO. WHAT. A BEARDLESS TYLER HYNES CAMEO. Okay let me recover.

Okay.  Chris says his dad and Richard were friends in the army. Chris is a “corporate attorney.” So, do you work for a company? Or help corporations get started? Or what? IT DOESN’T MATTER.

They arrive at Richard’s house and Chris reassures her that she is now part of a really great family. Richard has an awkward exchange with his kids about how Vanessa exists. When I say awkward, I mean, I like, hid behind my chair so I wouldn’t have to be part of it.

Pauline shows her around and says that Richard usually does all the Christmas decorations. Their youngest, Amelia, is kind of a sour patch kid. Richard immediately kicks Vanessa out of the house upon learning she’s a Mets and Jets fan. Then She sees all the monogramed stockings. Richard leads her into a GIGANTIC guest bedroom. Bedrooms are SO big in Hallmark movies.

Vanessa catches up the BFF that night. She wants to know about Chris. There are bows everywhere. Chris knocks on her door to inform her that dinner is ready. I hope Chris doesn’t end up being her brother.

They apparently have some kind NORWEGIAN dinner that I’ve never heard of. It’s lamb, so that’s probably why.  Richard is Norwegian. LIKE SUPER NORWEGIAN. More Norwegian than me, apparently, and I lived there briefly. But Vanessa didn’t score hardly any Norwegian points; so what’s up with that? After dinner, they have Griswold family light reveal. Then the poor giant Santa starts deflating. Meanwhile, Richard’s son Aiden bonds with Mickey the dog. Did I mention the dog yet? He seems fine. He’s small. He’s not in the way. I don’t think he’s caused any damage to the house. It’s fine.

 Vanessa tells Aiden she’s always wanted a brother. And then Aiden says he’s always wanted one too. So that’s the end of that. BTW that is a very on brand sort of kid response to such a deep, unexpected comment. Then the crew has a lovely time roasting marshmallows. What even time is it?

Richard says tells Vanessa he met her mom in Providence, Rhode Island. That seems weird to Vanessa. Her mom has never mentioned living in Providence. So what’s up with that? Then Pauline says she doesn’t want the girls to think of Vanessa as only a half-sister. Pauline continuing to hold her title as CHILLEST WIFE IN THE LAND. Then Vanessa gets an email from the Ancestry place telling her to call them right away.

The next day, the whole gang goes Christmas tree shopping. Actually, just the dudes and Vanessa go. That seems like poor planning on everyone’s part.  Chris and Vanessa quickly find themselves on their own. Vanessa asks Chris why he spends so much time with Richard’s family. Chris reveals that his parents died while driving to visit him in law school. Richard pushed him to spend the holidays with them from then on. I LOVE Vanessa’s coat. They stumble on the perfect tree.

Later, while decorating said tree, Pauline tells Vanessa that something happened at choir rehearsal today but Amelia won’t tell her what. Vanessa takes a stab at relating to this little sour patch kid. Amelia says she doesn’t want to do the solo anymore. Vanessa gives her some good advice about stage fright. I want to be clear though, Vanessa approaches her like any person who is unfamiliar with kids would approach a child. In my experience, you need to be MUCH sneakier if you want children to volunteer that sort of information.

Lots of Norwegian tree ornaments in the mix! Amelia puts the star on. Vanessa tells them about her family traditions which are small and sad by comparison. It bums everyone out. Later, Vanessa stares at the tree in the dark. Chris creeps up behind her. After a brief exchange where Vanessa, surprisingly DOES NOT ask why Chris chose to sneak up behind her, Vanessa realizes she hasn’t gotten any gifts for anyone one! Chris gets real Canadian when he offers to take her “out” shopping. I think you ALL know what I mean there.

The next day, Chris and Richard get more wood for their outdoor fireplace? Jealous. Richard tells Chris that there are a few things that aren’t adding up-the different nicknames, the places she lived… Chris dismisses it all. But I AGREE RICHARD. It doesn’t add up.

Later, Vanessa and Chris shop for gifts. Vanessa suggests a lot of really expensive ideas for people she’s never met! This is particularly perplexing when we factor in her likely salary at a small nonprofit foster care agency. Then Chris suggests they go ice skating rather than finish their shopping. Oh, Vanessa has already revealed she’s never skated. Chris says he’s had a hard time picturing himself with kids. Oh my gosh neither of them are good. Why would Chris suggest such an activity then?

As they leave the ice-skating rink, she gets a call. Is it from the work or from the ancestry place? Update: It is from the ancestry website, and she just happens to have their number saved in her phone. Anyway, she IGNORES THE CALL.

When they get home, they realize the inflatable Santa is completely dead. Everyone is in mourning of a giant, obnoxious inflatable lawn ornament. BUT, it turns out that this Santa’s demise is incredibly fortuitous because Vanessa and Chris got Richard a new…EVEN MORE GIANT one.

Inside, they all make their own gingerbread houses. FUN. Vanessa and Chris get to know each other while they work. This family DOES it all. Every dang Christmas activity that can be done. Richard asks Vanessa has any pictures of her mom. She only has one. She lost them all in a flood in her foster parents’ house. Guys, if I am Richard, I’m beginning to wonder at what point Vanessa is going to murder them all in their sleep. No photos, no memory of Rhode Island, different nickname. And Richard is QUITE WEALTHY so like, yeah, what is going on. We’re just counting on this ancestry website’s connection to ensure that she does NOT have ulterior motives for ingratiating herself to this family? Is no one going to ask the hard questions?

In her bedroom, she listened to a voicemail from the ancestry company. They switched her test results with a different Vanessa Hall! So does Richard actually have a daughter named Vanessa? Like the other person? So now what, Vanessa? Are we going to murder this family for the inheritance or what?

Now Vanessa can’t get through on the ancestry website’s phone line. Vanessa calls her pal to tell her the situation. This stupid friend tells her to wait until after Christmas to tell the family. That seems terrible. Again, unless she’s planning to murder them or steal from them or whatever she’s working on.

Aiden brings Vanessa coffee to her room. That is very strange and sweet. Downstairs, Richard is wearing a great zip up sweater. The oldest daughter asks to go to a dance at school that night. Why is she just now asking about it? Why is it during school break? Then Pauline jets to work at the hospital. Vanessa offers to take the oldest daughter shopping to find a dress. (I missed her name too). So the girls go shopping. They talk about what boys they like and you know, typical girl chat. She says she likes having a big sister.

Back at home, Vanessa wants to talk to Richard. Instead of letting Vanessa talk, Richard tells her he was nervous to tell his mom about her. I mean, yeah. That would be awkward. Chris interrupts them so Vanessa can’t talk to him at all. In fact, she gives up completely and heads inside.

Then Vanessa helps the oldest daughter get ready for the dance. Then she has to help Amelia get her costume on. Richard looks on admiringly at his little modern family coming together.

Okay, this pageant is outdoors. In the winter. In Connecticut. Pauline gets to the pageant just in time to see Amelia pretend to sing this solo. Boy Hallmark is really striking out with this recording the audio separately. But this solo wasn’t even close. Vanessa is just scoring big in the big sister department. Then Vanessa asks if Chris is free later. Wait, isn’t it later now? What even time is it? She invites him to wrap presents. Chris is bad at it.

Vanessa bought Pauline an air-fryer from what, 1970? Also how does she have money to spend like $75 on each person? Chris tells her he’s really happy she’s here.

Chris asks Richard if it’s weird if he likes Vanessa. That’s a cute moment.

Vanessa asks her dog for advice. He just pants desperately on the bed.

Now it’s Christmas Eve and Vanessa meets THE WHOLE GANG. It’s just as chaotic as it would be in real life. And she meets her grandma last. She looks like she could be Richard’s sister. ARE YOU KIDDING ME, HALLMARK? This woman is like 60 years old. OH LEFSE! YAY. This “grandma” wants to serve lutefisk for Christmas. Well I guess she is an elderly person because only elderly Norwegian Americans like it. Richard rightfully informs Vanessa that they can’t make it because it will stink up the entire house. When I tell you the number of Lutheran churches I had to sit in without breathing while they cooked lutefisk in the kitchen on the other side building…I am surprised I am still here to tell the tale. So no, Grandma Helen, we are all a HARD PASS on the lutefisk. Focus your efforts on lefse and Norwegian Christmas cookies. Then the whole gang heads outside to make snow people.

Later they watch “It’s a Wonderful Life.” Vanessa and Richard both say it’s their favorite movie. WOW it must be in their DNA. Pauline and Richard share how they met. Vanessa thanks them for inviting her into their home. She asks how Richard met her mom. She seems finally ready to admit the truth when Amelia spills her hot chocolate in the other room.

Christmas Eve isn’t over yet! This ENTIRE family is going caroling. HOW MANY HOURS ARE IN A HALLMARK DAY. Vanessa picks THIS TIME, the time that they’re all going to caroling to try and tell them the truth. She gives up and says she’s a bad singer. Wow they are singing a verse of “Angels We have Heard on High” that I don’t know. Maybe it’s the third verse?

Vanessa asks Chris a really weird hypothetical but Chris gets it. Then Chris asks her on a real date! YAY. I like this.

Richard gets up and makes a big speech about Vanessa. So this is going to be REAL awkward later. When they get back inside, Richard wants to make sure they have a family photo with Vanessa. She runs upstairs and calls her pal to get a ride home and pack. Because she feels like she’s swindled them. I mean, kind of? Amelia knocks and asks her to touch up her hair for the picture. She and Amelia have a nice little sister moment. Vanessa panics about being included in this family picture. Okay Vanessa finally admits what the agency told her. TO THE WHOLE GANG. It is REAL awkward.

Vanessa tells Chris she doesn’t belong. Vanessa’s friend arrives to get her. They all hug her goodbye. Wow this is so awkward. Amelia throws a little tantrum. Chris and Richard watch her walk away. Amelia waves sadly from her room. It’s so awkward that I don’t even know how Richard et al is supposed to act!

Back inside, the kids say they don’t want to meet a different Vanessa. Wow that is tough for this other Vanessa if that ever comes up. Richard and Chris talk this all out. Richard tells Chris this shouldn’t change anything for them. He tells Chris to open his gift from Vanessa. It is a little nativity scene with a Frankenstein. It’s a whole bit I didn’t bother to type out from earlier. Also, Andrew’s started buttoning his shirt like basically in the middle? Anyway, Richard tells him to go after her.

Vanessa arrives home to her cute, albeit lonely apartment. She made her friend leave her parents to come get her? Guys this woman’s parents are staying with her and she hopped in her car and drove an hour both ways to get Vanessa on Christmas Eve. That is next level friendship.

Richard digs out an old box of photos in his kitchen. He finds a picture of “Trish.” She looks just like Vanessa! So, Richard is SURE he’s her dad. But, wouldn’t he remember what Trish looked like and think Vanessa looks like her? Would he really not remember what she looked like 30 years ago? So, they decide to all go to New York to get her back. They carol outside her apartment. How horrible would it be if she looked at the picture and was like, no that’s not my mom. Vanessa comes outside with no coat. Richard shows her the picture. Oh good. It IS her mom. Oh she’s so happy to be part of their family. Nobody cries about that. They all come in the apartment. Then Chris arrives. With a tree. Wow where did he find that? And she has FIREPLACE? In this economy? Guys I’m just realizing this apartment? In NYC? On her nonprofit budget? Oh wow, they both say they love each other. I feel like that’s a lot. For just the what, one week? Oh boy and then they kiss in front of EVERYONE! In front of HER DAD. Those children!

Okay so at some point everyone must have realized that they wouldn’t all fit in Vanessa’s apartment so they drive BACK to Connecticut. Guys, so Vanessa’s friend suspended her own Christmas Eve with her family FOR NOTHING at this point. Just want everyone to remember that.

So now it’s Christmas morning and they’re all opening presents back at Richard’s. Amelia’s gift from Vanessa is probably worth $300? AT LEAST. Then it’s time for Vanessa’s gift. It’s a framed print of the whole crew. OMG and she has a stocking with her name on it. She looks around at the living room in slow motion and nobody cries about it. But also, let’s remember that Vanessa got these people a GIANT inflatable Santa, an AIR FRYER, a whole NYC weekend with Broadway tickets, a formal dress for a dance and snowboarding equipment. They gave her a framed picture. I get it. It’s symbolic of her new family which is priceless but I’m JUST SAYING. SHE SPENT A LOT ON THESE GIFTS.

Okay guys, so I actually did like this movie a lot. It was super cute. It had some good Norwegian Christmas elements and everybody in the movie was great. What did you think?

Guys, I have a REAL TREAT for you all today. A REAL TREAT. I did not write this movie’s review. In fact, my dear friend Jesse asked to write it for me in her spare time. In the spare time she has from RUNNING A MULTI MILLION DOLLAR COMPANY that she started from the ground up. So when she asked to guest star on this little blog of mine, I was just elated. Yes, Jesse McKinney, CEO of Red Aspen, maker of the best mascara and press on nails in the biz, is sharing her thoughts on Open by Christmas. We don’t have a SECOND to waste. Oh and she says some nice things about me but like, how could I delete the words she wrote? So we all just have to deal with it, Okay?

Hello and Merry Christmas to all! My name is Jesse McKinney. I’m a long time follower, first time contributor to @hallmarksthespot.  I have the distinct privilege of reviewing the cinematic marvel that is Open by Christmas, but before I get started I want to give a big shout out to Cally, the owner of this blog. Cally and I go way back to the halls of Skyview High School, and oddly enough, as I watched this movie I thought a lot about her. Open by Christmas has a strong undercurrent of many high school memories, which seemed fitting as Cally (aka my editor!) and I collaborated on this project. Cally, I hope you know how proud I am of you, and I think the high school version of you would be proud of the woman you are today. (BTW, Jesse, the high school versions of us would have just DIED hearing all you’ve accomplished and seeing the woman you are today! And then we would have laughed and laughed upon learning that we both became boy moms.) On that note, enough with the sappiness and on with the review! 

Open by Christmas stars Alison Sweeny, the First Lady of daytime soap television. Sweeny’s character, Nicky, is a talented executive consultant living in NYC. Her career is booming and she’s wickedly smart (she was the valedictorian of her high school class!), but her self confidence wanes when she finds herself home in small-town USA helping her parents downsize and move into a new home. While packing up the house she comes across an old text book. As she pages through the book an anonymous Christmas card / love letter falls out taking her by total surprise. She’s shocked at the realization that someone could have felt this way about her. After all, she was the biggest nerd on the planet back then, and smart girls are weirdos, right? <Insert subtle sarcastic eye roll here.> Without delving too deep into the plotline and ruining the ending for all of you, I’ll simply say that Nicky, with the help of her parents and best friend Simone, embark on a mission to find the high school flame that wrote the card. They narrow down the playing field using an old high school yearbook (they think he was on the basketball team) and set out to casually bump into a few former high school basketball players that are now far past their b-ball prime. Spoiler alert: Nicky doesn’t intentionally find him, but does find self confidence along the journey. She ultimately does find the card’s author, and romance ensues. 

I’ll be blunt- I was expecting Open by Christmas to be filled with extra unrealistic Holiday cheese, and I wasn’t wrong. For example, Simone owns a flower shop called Best Buds Boutique (cheese). Jeremy, Simone’s finance, secretly buys her a multi million dollar house as a surprise Christmas gift, because after all, she wouldn’t want to be a part of the decision making process as it relates to the biggest investment of their lives, right? (cheese). Derrick, Nicki’s parents realtor and Jeremy’s good friend, is a Christmas decoration expert and can tell you the history of specific ornaments from every respective decade from the last 200 years (cheese, cheese, cheese). 

But here’s the thing, among all the cheese were some really sweet, special moments that I think anyone can easily understand because, well, we’ve all been there. When Nicky and Derrick share their most embarrassing high school memories, I could relate. When Simone mourns the fact that her son, Anthony, isn’t a baby anymore and doesnt need her as much, I could relate.  When Nicky states that she is afraid of rejection, I could relate. I thought the film did a great job balancing all the cheese with genuine human connection and relatable emotion. 

I’m pleased to give Open by Christmas four out five gingerbread men. It was relatable on a human level with just the right amount of excess holiday cheer that you expect from the Hallmark brand, but at times the film played into stereotypes creating a contrived experience for the audience. Would I recommend this film to a friend? Absolutely! Go give it a watch- you won’t regret it. Happy Holidays!  

What did you think?

If you haven’t noticed, this week I am posting a little bit out of order. You will get to hear me on a couple podcasts this week so I’m trying to coordinate my posting schedule with all of that. But whew, you guys, at the end of week 3 and the beginning of week 4, I am already WORN OUT. There is too much going on and there are too many movies! A lot of you have told me you’re having a hard time keeping up as well. And you know, it’s just not enough time to do these all “right,” you know? I have so many more jokes and I just don’t have time to get them all down. Anyway, I hope we can all remember to truly ENJOY what for me, genuinely does feel like the most wonderful time of the year! Okay, let’s dive into Christmas Treasure.

Our leading lady, Lou is a reporter at the Pine Grove Register, a local newspaper run by her family. She is currently working on a HOT local story at the Tree Lot. She tells the Tree Lot owner that she’s moving to New York to write her novel. What better place to inspire someone who needs to do nothing but write than New York, where she will be working round the clock just to pay for basic expenses? The hot news story she’s working on is celebrating this lot selling its 50,000^th tree. The winning couple gets $5000 and a free tree. Dang business must be booming. Lou interviews the happy couple.

Meanwhile, our male lead, Kyle arrives at his aunt Marcie’s BEAUTIFULLY decorated  house. This woman made CHOCOLATE? Fruit cake? Is there such a thing? He’s going to help her out at the restaurant while he looks for a new job. I LOVE how this house is decorated.

Lou’s boss, and coincidentally, her father, Eli, shows her a picture of her great grandpa holding the 1921 time capsule. Eli asks if she’s sure she doesn’t want to write the story about it?

Meanwhile Marcie and Kyle waste no time getting to work at the restaurant, ahem TAVERN. It is SO BEAUTIFULLY DECORATED. Jordin and her pals are there celebrating. One friend turns out to be her pregnant sister-in-law, Jerilyn. She tells her friends she’s ready to go out on her own. They politely keep their opinions to themselves. Kyle delivers the food and they all mistake him for just an incompetent waiter. Lou is pretty sassy about not having silverware and her friend asks for salt and pepper. Kyle is OFFENDED. Lou knows the meatloaf doesn’t need anything. Also, meatloaf is a pretty heavy LUNCH.

That night, the mayor announces opening the town time capsule. Lou and her dad open the time capsule together. He announces all the items as he picks them up.

After the ceremony Lou runs into Kyle and makes a snarky comment about him seasoning his coffee or hot chocolate. He tells her he may have asked Marcie about her. Her family basically BUILT this town, in case you didn’t know. Kyle asks Lou if she asked Marcie about him. She says no. HA.

Later, Kyle and Marcie wander around the Christmas market. She asks him to open the restaurant while she finishes up. The famous Pine Grove Tavern of 1921 Time Capsule Fame. He can’t get the door to open. Lou stops by and asks if she can help him. She stands and waits and tells him the door is kind of tricky. He finally allows her to try it. She gets it right away. I’m sure he just loosened it for her. Aunt Marcie arrives by that point. Lou helps herself into the restaurant.

Marcie tells Lou that Kyle was a head chef back in Chicago. Lou brings Marcie the music from her solo. Marcie has someone else in mind for the solo this year. Lou and Kyle talk about the awkwardness of her realizing he’s a chef.

Lou arrives at the newspaper and her brother shows her all the time capsule submissions. And won’t let her eat any cookies.

Meanwhile, Marcie and Kyle work at the restaurant. They taste test something but it’s not great. Marcie suggests that Kyle make one of his recipes.

Kyle stops by a pastry shop and runs into Lou. She encourages him to enter a gingerbread house competition? I think? All I see are a bunch of tables and children quietly decorating. (What is that like, I wonder?) Okay so that is what they’re doing. 5-6 hours later, they’re finally finished. Kyle’s Is OUTSTANDING. Lou’s looks better than mine, at least. Did they really have the same amount of time to decorate? I’m dying a little. Also, hers immediately collapses. That adds up.

Later, Lou’s mom stops by to check on her. She hasn’t done much packing and it’s too overwhelming. Then she stops by the tree lot and attempts to rescue Kyle and his tree. Then Lou realizes that Kyle hasn’t tried some magic local peppermint bark. So, she immediately takes him to get some. He agrees it’s good. I’d like to see for myself. Wherever they sit down, Kyle thinks is a good spot for a restaurant. He wonders if he should take a risk and open his own place. He talks about his past experience working for bad managers. Kyle asks why she wants to go to New York to write her book.

OMG THE CHRISTMAS TREE in that restaurant. I would eat there for every dang meal. Lou tells Kyle that Marcie inspired her to write. Then Kyle says she’s also the reason he’s a chef. Oh boy that got me. Then Kyle says the tree needs more lights. GUYS ITS ALREADY DECORATED. Don’t these idiots know the rules of tree decorating? LIGHTS FIRST.

Later, Lou helps pregnant Jerilyn practice the big solo. She is nervous about taking over Lou’s song. Um yeah, I would be if JORDIN SPARKS was the previous soloist. Lou tells Jerilyn about her grandpa’s journal. Then the girls start singing. Are they just singing “We Wish You a Merry Christmas?” That’s the solo? No.

Inexplicably, Lou’s dad does MORE exterior decorating. Lou heads to the garage. In the garage, she finds some letters from her great grandpa. She tells her dad that she’s been reading the journal and he hasn’t mentioned the beacon he put in the capsule. I would call that a lantern but that’s neither here nor there. On her way out of the house, her dad gives her some good dad advice.

The next day, Kyle goes over the menu or a recipe at the restaurant. We get a little montage and Kyle is finished. Marcie voices what we’re all thinking when she asks where the rest of the food is? It is not quite right for the Christmas baking competition.

That night, the time capsule committee argue over what should be included in this year’s capsule. Later, when it is somehow midday, Lou goes to the office to finish packing up her things. She sees the lantern again that we’re all supposed to call a “beacon.” It’s back to night again when Lou stops by the restaurant. Kyle is still there but Marcie left. She asks Kyle to make her a sandwich and he’s like, girl no I’ll make something better. She’s like I would prefer not to wait an hour but okay. Anyway, he settles on lobster. I honestly have no idea how long that takes. Lou loves it so I guess it’s all worth it. Oh this is that little lobster empanada? What is it? So anyway he probably just threw that bad boy in the microwave. Lou thinks it’s too fancy for Marcie’s restaurant and Christmas in general.

Kyle notices the recipe that was included in the 1921 Time Capsule and decides to make that instead. I bet it has a bunch of weird, hard to find ingredients!

Marcie wonders if the recipe is too old fashioned. SAME MARCIE. Kyle thinks they could add a few modern twists. Neither of their attempts are working out. Have we seen that kitchen before in a different movie? Marcie decides to take a walk to clear her head. She stopped to help some kids build a snowman. I’m dying about that. Anyway, Kyle unlocked the secret to making the stew work. BUT HE WON’T TELL MARCIE.

They head to the competition. The competition is STEEP (so I hear). Lou stops by to taste Marcie and Kyle’s food. Lou loves it.

Lou and Kyle sample all the contest items and talk about whether or not they are single or where the best place is to spend Christmas. Lou says she needs to find someone who loves Christmas. Kyle says the girl for him has to have a sense of humor. Then the Mayor tells Marcie that they won the competition! WOW. I am so surprised.

Back at home, Lou works on her novel. She takes a break to read her grandpa’s journal.

The next day? At the Christmas market, Kyle runs into Marcie. They are both doing some Christmas shopping. Then Kyle gets an urgent call. Sounds like a job interview! Lou and Kyle meet at the coffee stand. They plan to meet up later.

OKAY WHY AM I JUST NOTICING THIS STREET. Oh, Lou is helping him shop for Marcie. Lou suggests he get her a broach. I like that Marcie is a classy broach wearing gal. I think they’re making a comeback. Lou sees a locket that she likes for herself. She says she’s always loved lockets. ME TOO. I always wanted one! Then Lou invites Kyle to hang out in the town square that night. He tells her he has an interview tomorrow for a big restaurant in Chicago.

Lou wears the cutest pink coat to meet up with Kyle that night. Oh I love it even more when it’s all tied up. She runs into her friend and tells her she doesn’t think Kyle is coming. Kyle DOES show up and they hang out by one of the fire pits. Lou tells Kyle about the first book she wrote when she was six and how she’s really struggling with this one.

The next day, Lou and her mom spend some quality time baking Christmas cookies. I think Luke wore that apron Lou’s mom is wearing in “Christmas Sail.” Lou’s mom suggests she keep the charm bracelet she always borrows. Lou seems more touched that she should be.

Meanwhile, Kyle interviews for that restaurant. He takes a risk and brings that prize winning carolers stew. Stew is a bold choice for a fancy restaurant interview in my opinion.

Marcie and Kyle arrive at Lou’s family’s party. Kyle tells her about the job interview. Lou thinks she’ll get the job. I’m glad Lou went with the red dress! Lou’s mom tells Kyle they’ve been having this party since Eli’s great grandpa started it? That’s actually pretty wild. Lou offers him a tour of her house. Hope they cleaned up the rest of the house! Lou shows him a sad little fire pit in the backyard. She talks about her frustration of not yet finishing her novel.

Now it’s time for Eli to make a toast. Or wait, no Lou is going to sing for them. When is Jerilyn doing her solo? And why does Jerilyn have to sing “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” and Lou gets to sing “O Holy Night?” For this indoor party? It doesn’t make any sense.

Later, Lou reads more of her grandpa’s journal. She gets to the part where her grandpa says that “everyone he loved was here.” And all of a sudden, she can’t stop writing.

Lou just keeps writing away and narrating what she’s typing. She finally figured out why the beacon was included in the time capsule. Then she calls the restaurant to place a lunch order. She is surprised when Kyle delivers it. Isn’t that why she called? Kyle just straight up asks her on a date! She turns him down so she can pack. She is worried they are going to start something they can’t finish.

Then we get a REAL CLOSE SHOT of the lantern. Lou heads into the newspaper and seems to be missing the company Christmas party. Her brother is wearing a festive hat too.

Kyle talks to the owner of that restaurant and he has lots of ideas! Oh and he got the job

Lou opens her secret Santa gift. They got her a leather journal.

The restaurant has their own Christmas party too. BUT, he tell Marcie he turned down the job. He realized he wants to stay in Pine Grove and work with his aunt. Marcie suggests he be her partner.

Lou takes a somber little stroll down the street. Kyle finds her and they sit in the seats all set up for the big Christmas performance that’s still happening? Oh boy, they are about to kiss and then her phone buzzes. The movie is like minutes from being over so what is happening. Oh! Her sister-in-law, Jerilyn, is having her baby. Her parents are so stoked. Jerilyn is wearing the cutest Christmas jammies. They agree to put the picture of the new baby in the time capsule. He is the first Christmas Eve baby born that day. Then Lou and her parents have to rush to the Time Capsule Event.

So that’s what the chairs were for. Since Jerilyn just had the baby, Lou has to sing. She’s singing “This Christmas.” THAT’S NOT WHAT THEY REHEARSED! Why did they practice “We Wish You a Merry Christmas?” This poor band just sweating to death in their hats and coats. Kyle is in the audience. Who is Lou pointing at? Kyle? Okay now it’s time to load up the time capsule. They show the whole town what all is going into the time capsule. It’s boring. Nobody cares.

WHEN IS THIS MOVIE GOING TO BE OVER. Kyle and Lou walk and talk after the event. Kyle tells Lou he’s staying in Pine Grove. He tells her he’s willing to go visit New York a bunch to make their relationship work. Then Lou says she changed her mind too and she’s not moving. Anyone surprised? And then they KISS. Then Kyle gives her a gift. Is anyone surprised that it’s the locket she noticed the other day? No? Didn’t think so. And then they kiss again! And that’s that.

Guys I liked this movie but I was worn out while I watched it! I don’t know why but I am out of gas this week. I need some straight up Hallmark silliness next weekend to keep me going. What did you think of this one?

Guys, I wanted to start this recap with a little bit of my thoughts about how the movie handled foster care and adoption. I hope you’ll indulge a bit of a detour from my normal nonsense.

At first, I was really annoyed and concerned about how they would deal with foster care. Will and Laurel fostered a newborn for a long time and were understandably devastated that they would not remain in his life. (And that he probably wouldn’t remember them!) First, Laurel was angry that this baby was “taken” from them. She couldn’t imagine opening her heart to another child the same way. Couldn’t imagine going through it all again. But, she ultimately changed her attitude. I really liked that. It is probably an emotional journey many of us can relate to. I know foster parents who have felt that way. The attachment and feelings of loss are real. The anger at the seeming injustice of it all is real too. And so many parents get into foster care with the wrong motivations which causes them to be really frustrated by the goal of reunification. Ahem, myself included. I was really worried that Will and Laurel would get exactly what they thought they wanted-adopting a newborn baby through foster care. I was worried because that would perpetuate all kinds of myths and misconceptions about foster care. And you all know how I feel about people learning lessons!

But I did sympathize with them! I’ve experienced the fear and anxiety that comes with desperately wanting to keep kids I’ve grown attached to without rooting against their parents’ success. It’s really hard. And I’ve felt worn out and hopeless. I’ve felt despair. I’ve felt angry about how the system works, about the unfairness. And I’ve been so blessed to come out on the other side and see God’s hand through the whole thing. Like, what if God had only given me exactly what I wanted right when I wanted it? I would have missed out on so much. Whew. So, if you’d like to hear more about fostering or my experience, please shoot me an email! I’d love to share more with you if you’re curious. But for now, let’s dive into the recap!

The movie begins with our leading lady, Laurel organizing a whole children’s holiday concert.

After rehearsal, she talks to her friend about her NANA being hurt and having a hard time taking care of her. The friend suggests they hire a caregiver. She knows of a great place too! Laurel doesn’t think they could afford it after doing IVF. But, she agrees to look into it.

She shuts the door upstairs and talks to Hannah as she walks in. Why doesn’t she call her grandma?  GUYS She’s saying Nana. I thought it was Hannah. Wow. Okay. Turning captions on. They catch up a little about her day and then they make dinner together. They both seem like they are in a sad, dark place. Laurel’s husband, Will, returns home with a Christmas basket from work. They suggest to NANA that they decorate for Christmas. Nana seems reluctant.

Later Will and Laurel talk NOT VERY QUIETLY about what to do about Nana. It seems clear that Nana can hear. She wonders about quitting the winter program so she has more time to take care of Nana. Will wonders about using some money her grandpa left her? Well DUH.  Laurel really wants to make sure she’s taken care of since Nana and her Grandpa took her in twice.

The next day Laurel calls the caregiving agency. The caregiving agency is COMPLETELY BOOKED until January but they’ll get her on the wait list.

Will tells Laurel he met someone’s baby. She’s like cool but I don’t want to talk about that. It’s been over a year but she’s not ready. OMG I just realized she was calling her “Nana” not Hannah. I’ve corrected up top but I want you all to know how long it took me to realize this. She realizes she forgot to make snickerdoodle cookies for work. BEEN THERE. The doorbell rings. It’s Gloria “Merkel” and she has snickerdoodle cookies. Laurel is confused because they said they were all booked up!

Nana tells everyone she doesn’t need a babysitter. Also, her actual name is Helen. So, I’m really dying at this error of mine. Helen is suspicious but Gloria has recommendations on references on recommendations. It’s ALL GONNA CHECK OUT NANA.

Laurel and Helen have a mini chat about Gloria. Helen reluctantly agrees that she can stay and help out. On the house tour, Laurel fills Gloria in on why they all live together. Why are they shouting? This is Helen’s first holiday without her husband. Gloria asks about a closed room. Laurel just says they keep that door closed and that she will not be taking questions at this time.

Gloria’s snickerdoodles taste like Helen’s. Helen says they’re fine. Laurel takes them to her faculty lunch. HOW FORTUITIOUS.

After the kids head off to work, Gloria suggests she and Helen decorate for Christmas. Helen gets down to brass tacks with Gloria but she cannot be ruffled.  

At work, Will looks up reviews of the caregiving agency. They are VERY POSITIVE. Will calls Helen “Nana” which is very sweet.  

On the school there’s a banner that reads “SCHOOL PAGEANT IN 3 DAYS.” So that’s money well spent.

Laurel’s dad calls and wants to get together with her for dinner the following week. He mentions a bunch of people’s names and I can’t tell if they’re his kids, Laurel’s siblings, or what. Laurel is not very receptive to any of it but says she’ll get back to him.

Back at the house, Gloria hums her namesake song while she cross stitches. Helen stares daggers at her. Meanwhile, at school, the faculty raves about “Laurel’s” snickerdoodles. She’s like, wait they’re not that good, right? I’m not on board with Laurel’s frumpy outfit. The boss announces Laurel’s friend’s pregnancy in front of everyone. Laurel is shocked. The friend very kindly pushes Laurel out in the hall away from everyone and is apologetic about the surprise. She immediately tries to suggest that Laurel try fostering again and says there will be a forever baby for them. Laurel says that ship has sailed but she’s happy for her friend. Oh, Laurel. I am glad you have a nice friend that doesn’t always say the right thing but means well.

Helen calls in a panic because Gloria was “snooping.” Gloria calls from the kitchen “for a spatula!” It’s a whole funny bit.

Will and his pal apparently did some bro shopping for a white elephant gift exchange at work. (Again, Hallmark is OBSESSED THIS YEAR).  Will settles on a neck pillow. Will runs into Nancy, their former social worker for foster care. How does he not remember her? She has been meaning to reach out because they need more foster parents. She wonders if they’d be open to try again? Will asks if Jonathan is okay. Nancy says he and his mom are doing well. Will dramatically says to put them back on the list for newborns. Nancy is like, okay so yeah I’ll just put you in line behind the hundred other families that only want newborns to go along with their false expectations of the goal of foster care.

Later, Laurel googles Gloria. The stories are crazy. She is always in the right place at the right time. INTERESTING. Also are Will and Laurel in a twin bed? The next day, Gloria arrives with a Christmas tree. She mysteriously cleared space in the living room the day before. Gloria and Laurel talk about miracles while they dig out the Christmas decorations. Gloria has all kinds of little wise tidbits.

Gloria and Helen venture out of the house. Helen freaks out when she realizes Gloria’s car is the exact same as her husband’s when they first met. Well, isn’t that a koinky-dink. Helen loves it. It just takes her right back to when she was dating Robert They stroll through an outdoor market. Gloria gets the backstory on Laurel. Laurel’s mom died when she was six and when her dad remarried, she never felt like part of the family. Then Gloria asks about the closed bedroom door. Helen tells her about Jonathan. Laurel and Will were his foster parents for 18 months. They were in the process of adopting him when his mom got herself organized and they were able to be reunified. So, he went back to his mom just before Christmas the year before. And then Laurel’s grandpa died. Also Helen knows SOMETHING IS UP WITH GLORIA. But, they agree to work together on Laurel. This alliance seems to change the course of their friendship going forward.

Good news: the school purchased another banner that announces the Pageant in ONE DAY.

Laurel talks to one of the girls and her mom about how well she’s doing in pageant practice. Then Laurel tells her friend that it’s not been going well with Gloria. But then, Laurel returns home to the ladies baking and singing in the kitchen. The gang all decorates the tree together. Laurel shares a tiny bit with Gloria about coming to live with her grandparents. Gloria and Laurel talk about motherhood. Gloria reminds her that she is and was a mom to Jonathan. Then Gloria talks about her own daughter, Mercy, who died when she was young.

Back in the kitchen Helen and Will talk. He calls her Nana. Is that cute? Will tells Helen that he got back on the foster waiting list. I’m SHOCKED they haven’t called about needing a placement for a newborn baby already. (eyeroll).

Back in the living room, Will asks Laurel to dance. RIGHT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. Helen suggests Laurel and Will have a date night. Also, is that it? Is that all they were decorating that tree? There’s like nothing on it.

Later Will and Laurel walk down by the water. They talk about meeting for the first time. Will says there’s something he wants to talk to her about. Then her dad calls. They talk about her anger about him and “Forgetting about her mom.” Will encourages her to meet up with him and tell him what SHE needs to say. So now the moment has passed regarding Will’s information. I wonder if that’s going to blow up in his face later?

When they get home, the entire exterior is lit up. They apparently did the inside too. So did Helen know that Gloria used magic? Or angel power? Or what?

The house is finally decorated to Hallmark standards. Laurel goes into Jonathan’s room for a moment but then quickly shuts the door. Helen asks if she’s okay. Helen suggests they watch jeopardy. In the kitchen, Will pounds some Christmas cookies alone. Then he and Laurel talk about what a nice time they had at the waterfront. I love her dress. Will feels like they’re coming out of a “dark period.” Will starts to broach the fostering subject and Laurel shuts it down.

Gloria arrives to take Helen ball room dancing.

Will and Laurel chat on the phone about gifts. Laurel tells Will not to spend a lot of money on her. Will browses at a really weird store. Inside, he immediately finds some very expensive earrings. It’s the same girl at the counter that answered the caregiving phone! And her name is MERCY. So, what’s up with that. Mercy thought she saw him with her daughter the other day? He’s like, I don’t have a daughter. Then Mercy mutters, “you will!” And NOBODY TEARS UP ABOUT THAT.  

Helen runs into her pals at the ballroom dancing center and Gloria knows all their names. Art seems to have eyes for Helen. Helen and Art dance. He lost his wife too. This is so cute I can’t bear it. They talk about getting over the loss of their spouses.

Laurel has dinner with her dad. No Will? That’s weird, right? Laurel is like, why are you here? He says he didn’t have a client and he just wanted to see her. He apologizes for not being present for her after her mom died. She tells him how she feels now and how she felt back then. He hands her a gift. It’s an angel tree topper. It must have been her mom’s! Making those tree toppers was her favorite memory with her mom. Her dad said he just felt like he needed to get it to her and to apologize. He asks how he can make it up to her now. NOBODY is tearing up. Whew. All that before they even take a bite.

Later, they catch up with Helen and Gloria. Helen is going to teach Gloria to quilt. Then Helen invites Gloria to their Christmas Eve Mass. In the kitchen, Helen tells Laurel that she thinks Gloria is a real angel. Laurel is like, there, there Nana. Let’s get you to bed. Helen has PUT IN THE INVESTIGATIVE WORK so maybe we should all listen in. But, Laurel is oblivious. Helen says even though Laurel doesn’t believe in angels, they believe in her.

Will wonders what the big deal is that Helen thinks Gloria is an angel? Same. Laurel shuts down more “future” talk with Will. Then Helen and Gloria walk into the kitchen. Helen had a vivid dream about her husband. Gloria says she used to have dreams about her daughter, Mercy. Will is like wait, who? Anyway, they all decide to get those expensive earrings for Laurel for the child pageant. At this point I implore my husband not to spend $1200 on earrings for me.

Helen and Gloria get to quilting with her quilting pals. Helen is using all sentimental pieces of fabric. Her daughter’s blanket, Jonathan’s baby blanket, things from her husband. Helen is like, oh and Gloria I am going to use something to remember you too whenever you go back to “Cleveland” or wherever you’re from.

Will walks into that same weird shop and wants Mercy to get the commission. The floor manager is like, never heard of her. So, WHAT’S THAT ABOUT.

I think we are watching the actual children’s program right now. Yes. This is quite elaborate. We actually used to have pretty elaborate Christmas programs when I was in elementary school but I feel like they don’t do that as much anymore. The kids all get Laurel a big thank you card. Gloria tells Will the child that was meant to be for them will find them.

Later, they have a party in the faculty lounge. Wait, this is the work white elephant party for Will or for Laurel? It seemed like her boss was there. Anyway, Will’s gift is a sign that says “it’s a girl.” Yikes. Is this friend that insensitive?

Will shows Gloria the sign he got and about the sales girl. Laurel overhears their convo. Will tells Gloria about how much joy was in their home with Jonathan. Laurel interrupts and tells them there are carolers down the street and they should join them.

So they all load up and go caroling. Gloria suggests “Joy to the World” for their next song.

The next day, Gloria runs into Laurel at the coffee shop. Gloria invites her to sit with her for a few minutes. She admits she overheard Will and Gloria talking the night before. She feels like she’s failed Will and doesn’t know if she can give him what he wants. Gloria reminds her that she doesn’t have to shoulder the burden of everything that goes wrong. And it’s okay to feel joy again.

Later, Gloria and Helen go dancing again. Gloria tells Helen she’ll have to leave after Christmas since Helen is feeling so much better.

Laurel gets a call from Nancy. UH OH. She said she has a newborn ready to be placed that night. Laurel is like, what? We aren’t fostering right now. So Nancy is confused and obviously so is Laurel. When she gets home, she sees Will waiting on the steps. Laurel tells Will she can’t go through that loss again. Laurel tells him he should find someone that can give him what he wants. Will tells her it isn’t over.

Will packs up and heads out. He assures Helen that he’s not giving up on Laurel. After Will leaves, Laurel just lays around in her room. Helen checks on her.

Will and his friend Neil talk at his house about how this will all blow over. Poor Will, stuck on his friend’s couch at Christmas. He runs into their daughter, Britta. She asks to have a tea party.

Laurel comes down and vents about all the bad things that have happened to her. Gloria says she’s looking at it the wrong way. She reminds her that fostering Jonathan was not necessarily about her “getting” him and having him taken away. Instead, she provided a loving home for eighteen months and now he gets to be with his biological mother. So, she was a gift to him.

Upstairs, Laurel has a moment with a picture of Jonathan in his old room. She says she was so happy she got to be his mom for a little while and NOBODY CRIED THEN AND CERTAINLY NOT NOW AS THEY GO BACK AND EDIT. So then, Laurel goes to Neil’s house. She sees Will in the middle of high tea. Will informs Laurel that he’s on his fifth tea party in 12 hours. She says she’s ready to feel or see the joy again. Maybe both. He tells her that he is okay if it’s only ever just the two of them.

At midnight mass, Laurel talks to the moms of several foster kids. (The same mom she talked to earlier). They tell Laurel and co briefly about their experience and how they’ve adopted some of their foster children. And she tells Laurel it’s been so rewarding. She also tells Laurel they have tons of clothes if they ever decide to foster older children. During the service, Laurel tells Will she has something she wants to run by Will. Oh, and guess who’s singing at the service? (Spoiler, it’s Mercy.) Side note: I don’t get this plot point. Are they all dead? So now Mercy and Gloria are actually together but she died when she was young? Is this in a book I could read?

On Christmas morning, Gloria shares one last gift with Will and Laurel. It’s a beautiful quilt. Then, Will gets a call from Nancy. Poor Nancy is working on Christmas Day. There is a 6 year old girl named Kelly that needs to be placed. So yeah. The phone rings A LOT QUICKER when you’re open to more than just babies.

Flash forward 3 years later to the TALLEST 9-year-old girl I’ve ever seen. And there’s a baby boy in the mix too. Was he a foster baby or did they actually get pregnant and have a baby? They all wear matching jammies. Then Helen comes in with her own festive jammies. And NOBODY CRIES. Not a soul.

And Mrs. Merkel heads to the next house.

Whew you guys. This movie REALLY took me on a journey. If you’ve been reading these for the last couple years, you know the foster care stories really get me. I did not expect to like this one or find it memorable at all. But it got me RIGHT IN THE FEELS. What did you think?

Okay guys, here we are at the end of week THREE and the beginning of the week’s recaps. I knew very little about this movie going in, other than they were going to try and blend gingerbread cookie baking with Mexican Christmas traditions. Boy are we in for a wild ride. Let’s dive in to Gingerbread Miracle, which aired on the Hallmark Channel on November 5.

The movie begins with some baking action shots. Anyone else accidentally roll their gingerbread cookies too thin?

Our leading lady, Maya, runs in the winter without even a headband! She is braver than I! I see these runners, and I want to be them but I don’t know if I’ll ever get there. Her parents have just COVERED their house from head to toe in Christmas décor. Casually making peppermint bark. What time of day is it? Wait how old are we expecting Maya to be? Guys, I think her mom even painted their cabinets for Christmas.

Busy business boy, Alex, snoozes on his couch in his office. THE DREAM honestly. His law firm is decked out to the max with Christmas décor as well. I wonder if this little lawyer is up for “junior partner.” Poor Ale is little disheveled mess. He missed a date working on a project and the partner couldn’t care less. He’s off in Aspen! Can’t be bothered to even read it now.

At the local Mexican bakery in Xavier, Maya learns the lore about someone making a gingerbread cookie for someone and the wish will come true. Is that that? Yes. I think it is Luis, the bakery owner specifically. He has to make the cookie for you specifically and then the wish will come true. My mom tells me later this should have been called Gingerbread Wish because wishing on the gingerbread is what makes the things happen. So “miracle” is the wrong word.” Anyway, Luis has made her a red briefcase cookie. (DON’T FORGET THIS).

Luis wants to talk to her. He thinks the magic is gone for him re gingerbread. He sees his wife everywhere? He wants her to help him sell the bakery. Oh she’s a “freelance contracts attorney.” Oh boy. I am going to struggle with this movie. “Freelance Attorney.” Hahahahahahahaahaha. Anyway, Luis is having an earnest conversation about who will take over the bakery. She promises to help him find a buyer because IT’S ALL THE SAME, RIGHT?

Poor Alex tries to make up for missing his date with Kim with a poinsettia. She slams the door on his face. Fair.

Maya calls her real estate friend about the bakery. I think this person will list the bakery. I mean if a real estate agent would be listing the space…you wouldn’t need to like take over the whole business right? You could turn it in to whatever you want? Maya is trying to talk up the Mexican bakery business but maybe that is to demonstrate that it is a viable space for some type of other food-based business? I wouldn’t know. I’m not a “freelance contracts attorney.”

Outside the bakery, a reporter friend of Maya’s “Brooke” talks to her about writing a good review and the cute veterinarian she likes who is a blonde adult man. So that’s that. Guys, there are A LOT of blonde adult men in this movie. And by A LOT, I mean 2, which is plenty.

Alex in a v-neck sweater and THICK GOLD CHAIN around his neck throws away his sad little birthday dinner. He makes himself something way better. Why didn’t he do that in the first place? He used about .10 of the items he chops up on the actual taco. Then he makes a call but his cell phone makes a dial connection sound that you only hear on land lines from a million years ago.

Maya answers the phone. The bakery belongs to HIS UNCLE. She remembered that it was his birthday too. Alex tells her it was nice to hear her voice. Luis tells Alex that Maya is working for him again? But as an attorney; a “freelance” attorney to be clear you guys. He breaks the news to Alex that he’s selling the bakery.

Maya has the CUTEST DANG SWEATER. She gets an email about a “second interview” at a law firm perhaps? And she seems stoked. But doesn’t even read the email! She sees the subject line and runs off. Then she heads to her parents’ house to get her sister Sydney to go get a tree. Seems like a family activity but whatever. At the tree lot, we learn from Sydney that Maya has an ex-husband and that she is trying to get a more stable job. Well DUH.

So, the girls and their VERY GOOD DOG with one black ear and one white ear go look for a tree. Alex and Luis go looking for a tree too. For a family that is crazy about Christmas, they sure get their trees late. Alex sees Maya. He decides to say hi. And Sydney just drops Dasher’s leash to take a picture. Dasher, who’s name seems fitting, sees a cat and bolts. Maybe you shouldn’t bring a dog to the tree lot if he isn’t well behaved (says a person with a long history of owning poorly behaved dogs). In the chaos, Maya and Alex literally run into each other. They catch up about selling the bakery. She tells Alex that she ONLY DOES CONTRACTS YOU GUYS. She is going to dabble in real estate transactions this one time, but she ONLY DOES CONTRACTS. Freelance. No wonder she is struggling to find clients.

Alex wants to help but Maya doesn’t think it’s enough work for both of them plus her real estate agent. I mean, yeah that’s accurate. But really, I think she just doesn’t want to split the fee! Dasher with the BIG BLUE EYES barks to remind everyone what a VERY GOOD BOY he is and what a very BAD BOY the cat was.

Back at Luis’s, Alex and Luis decorate their tree and talk about whether they should paint one of their walls magenta. Luis tells him they are hosting an event at the bakery and I need to turn on captions so I can see how all these Spanish words are spelled. Luis wants to make sure that Alex is being treated fairly at his law firm. That’s nice.

Maya and her girls have a little gab sesh. Oh wait is this Sydney and Brooke? So Alex was her big time crush in high school but he thought she had a French boyfriend and left for college and never spoke again? She tells a story about writing him a note and leaving it in his jacket before studying abroad in high school. Why not make this a story about college study abroad? Wouldn’t that be more believable? I mean, I know that people DO study abroad in high school, I just don’t know of anyone who did.

Alex catches up with the kid who works at the bakery. He really wants to play hockey in college but competition is steep! He bites into a hockey gingerbread cookie in hopes that his wish will come true. Alex tells him it won’t come true because he made it, not Luis. Alex runs into his old bro ham Ian, the blonde veterinarian. He said he’s very busy today cleaning cat’s teeth. Surely that can’t be the bulk of a vet’s work? I would imagine it’s a lot of snipping if you know what I mean.

Sydney, boy this really is a family affair isn’t it? Her sister takes very artsy pictures to post on the real estate listing. THEY ARE ALL IN BLACK IN WHITE. This bakery is SO COLORFUL AND BEAUTIFUL and they’re turning the pictures black and white. Have you ever seen a black and white photo in a real estate listing? WHY. And then just an artsy photo of Luis’s hands. Like I love it but what has that got to do with the bakery space. How is that going to sell this property?!

Wow we already are in montage territory. Alex shuts down everyone interested in buying the space. All in all, Alex shut down 8 potential buyers. Maya has a REAL AX TO GRIND AGAINST ALEX in general.

Then another blonde adult comes by to check out the bakery. I think this is the famous baker she saw online earlier. Alex is crushing this scene. This blondie was “Blown Away” by the photos. The BLACK AND WHITE PHOTOS. Jacque makes the mistake of assuming that French and Mexican bakeries are the same. How dare he. Guys they both call this guy gorgeous and well, her? Anyway, Alex really doesn’t want anyone to buy this.

They invite Jacque to the Christmas Games that weekend. He wants to do a full tour of the place this weekend with his mom. Is that weird? Also, I think he refers to his mom as “mom” to people who are not his siblings.  

Alex vents to Ian about Jacque. Guys, what am I missing? Am I, a blonde female, just biased against blonde males?  Brooke the reporter strolls by and she and Ian awkwardly flirt. Brooke totally keeps her cool when meeting Alex. Very impressive. After she leaves, Alex NOTICES that Ian likes her.

Maya vents to her mom about Alex too. They are stuffing name tags into lanyards for the event. Sounds TEDIUOUS. What does Sydney do besides freeload off her parents and take black and white pictures? Also, why is Hallmark obsessed with the instrumental version of “I Saw Three Ships”? I’m not complaining, just observing.

So, the Christmas Event is “The Games.” How many adults…? Ugh. Is there a single town in THESE UNITED STATES that hosts such an event in real life? That the whole town wants to do? Do grown adults really want to compete in an obstacle course made of gingerbread?

Alex does some stress cooking. Look, now he’s using everything he chops.

Maya wears glasses in the dining area so you know she’s working hard. Alex offers her some carne asada and Maya raves about it. She’s like why didn’t you become a baker or a chef? And he explains why he had to choose a practical route. And my experience is not his at all but obviously the legal field would be a much more sure/stable career I imagine. Maya explains why she got divorced and left her law firm. He offers to help her study for her interview. I hope she is studying something besides contracts.

WOW the parents’ sweaters. They get a box of sailboat cookies and know immediately Alex made them. I wonder why you can only make wishes on Luis’s cookies? Is that just a Luis thing or a Mexican thing? Is there gingerbread in Mexico?

Okay now Luis is explaining it in an interview so everybody just be quiet. He talks about his parents moving to Denver and making their version of gingerbread cookies. She made special, personalized cookies for everyone. And whenever she made the cookies, something magical would happen to whoever got the cookie. WOW. After the interview, Alex gives Brooke and Sydney individual cookies as a thank you. Are they making just one cookie at a time or what is happening with the dough?

Then they run into Blondie Jacque. Jacque thinks Maya and Alex are dating but Maya is like NO WAY and Alex is like whoa that is a strong reaction and Maya is like well yeah, we’re not dating so. Jacque is like, also I’m an adult man and would like to participate in the obstacle course. Do you think too many adults have already signed up to do so as well? Maya is like, no! There aren’t enough completely insane adults in this town so there’s plenty of room for you.

Okay now we finally get to see the obstacle course. So far, I see three small gingerbread houses on a table. Okay I get it. They have to CARRY a gingerbread house on a cookie sheet. This is like youth group all over again. I am fine sitting and watching! They have to climb up and down a bouncy slide holding the house with one hand.  Next they must speed decorate these stupid houses. Is Maya doing this all in jeans? Now more decorating? After the icing has likely already set? I don’t understand. Do they just decorate until the timer goes off? Maya and Alex run into each other after getting spun around so Jacque wins. TWIST.

Then they take Jacque and his mom to see the bakery. In the kitchen, Alex admits he is just sad about selling the bakery. WELL DUH.

Ugh these idiots. They’re going to make a huge mess in this kitchen. Hallmark, PLEASE no more food fights. Luckily Luis stops them. Then they go over the numbers with Jacque and I realize he’s wearing a burnt orange turtleneck. Bless his heart. Jacque’s mom wants to show case Sydney’s basic bee photography in the gallery. Update, Jacque is wearing a MOCKNECK. Why?

Guys how old is Syd? She’s very excited about the photography sale. Maya’s mom has five new events to plan after THE GAMES including the party at the bakery. SO things are going well Dash, WHO REMAINS A VERY GOOD BOY, reminds them not to forget about him during group hugs.

Alex’s boss sends him a note that he hasn’t read his report yet. The one he had to work on all night ON HIS BIRTHDAY to get to him on time.

Syd tells Maya that she wished on her camera cookie and the ball started rolling on her photography business.

Syd and Maya have an awkwardly scripted sister exchange but I don’t listen because I think about how their kitchen is bigger than my house house.

Alex kind of admits that he’s jealous of Maya dating “perfect Jacque.” Again, what am I missing here? In the meantime, Alex makes another solitary cookie for Jacque. Then he just tosses it in the trash and starts again.

Later, Alex stops by or dang, just WALKS IN to Maya’s house. He made “way too much” tortilla soup. Yeah right. Guys this garage apartment is INSANE. Like how big is the garage? He also shares the Giant solitary cookie he made for Jacque.

Now it’s time for Maya’s interview! We don’t get to see it at all. But we do see Maya stopping by Jacque’s bakery. He says his wish out loud like he’s never made a wish before. He calls the taste “interesting.” He takes ONE solitary bite and sets it down like an ANIMAL. He then invites her to have dinner with him. WHAT AM I MISSING.

Maya and Brooke go ice skating wearing the most lovely winter sweaters. Like I NEED THAT RED SWEATER. Maya calls Jacque insanely gorgeous. Guys, again, her?

Then Alex and Ian show up to ice skate. Just two bros, bro-ing out at open skate. Both leads can skate! That’s new. Are they calling the Christmas Eve event the casada? Isn’t that wedding? Maya asks how he got into mergers and acquisitions and his reply is that he’s a basic bee. Maya thinks Luis would be proud if Alex was a baker. I doubt it.

Then the little hockey employee skates over and says so many wrong things in a matter of 30 seconds I had to pause the movie to get it all down. First, scholarship to “Oregon College” not a real place, that’s fine. But also, hockey isn’t super popular in Oregon so I doubt any of the schools are in a position to offer scholarships for any semblance of a hockey program they might have. Then he says they saw film from when he “almost scored that double hat trick.” Which means he almost scored 6 points HIMSELF in a hockey game. Pause this and go check the average score of a hockey game. Even check the score of a high school game. I promise it is not that high. And for this sweet little mouse to have nearly scored 6 points himself IS STRAIGHT UP NONSENSE and I will NOT JUST LET IT GO. Whatever, the gingerbread magic apparently incorporates whatever nonsense it must to make these wishes come true.

Ian and Brooke finally hit it off. Alex admits he’s only made one wish on a gingerbread cookie in his life back when he was a teen.

Then Alex admits to Maya what happened with the letter and his jacket. He didn’t find the letter until WAY TOO LATE. After this special moment, her phone buzzes and she decides to see who called. Hahahahah it’s an offer letter. Sent via email in the middle of the night. They hug and he says he’s proud of her. Oh yuck. They both say they want to kiss each other but then they don’t.

Maya facetimes with her new boss and she realizes she’s been swindled by this law firm. They need her doing CONTRACTS 24/7. And that everyone else quit because they were burnt out. But that’s the life of big law!

Meanwhile, Alex looks at his high school yearbook and re reads Maya’s letter.

Maya talks to her sister and friend about why Alex suddenly decided to make a move now. And how she’s torn about joining the law firm.

At the bakery, Alex does some work ON CHRISTMAS EVE. I missed what he had to do.

The girls get the bakery all set up for the party. While they set up, Maya and her mom have a nice heart to heart. Maya inspired her mom to take the plunge and open her own event planning business.

Little hockey mouse and Alex have a nice time in the kitchen but Alex. I can’t tell if Alex is being a grump or not? Luis and Alex have a nice discussion in the kitchen. Where are his parents though? He mentioned them earlier but it doesn’t seem like they’re around now.

Later, it’s time for caroling. I think they call it something else but I didn’t catch it. They are carrying Mary and Joseph as they go. Also, I feel like nobody carols in real life anymore.

This is a dressy party! Jacque and his mother arrive. As I mentioned earlier, Jacque refers to his mom as if she is everyone’s mom. As in “oh, where should I put Mom’s purse.” I don’t know Jacque. She’s not MY MOM. In the kitchen, Maya sees Alex’s RED BRIEFCASE. Just like the cookie Luis made her! OMG. Anyone remember?

The carolers arrive. They sing a specific Christmas carol and everyone just looks at them creepily. It’s like a whole back and forth exchange. This is cute. Syd shares with her family that she is going to be working at the photography gallery in Denver. Maya says she’s not going to move. But now Syd’s leaving! So that’s sad.

Luis and Alex talk seriously in the kitchen. Luis says he noticed that the wishes are coming true again now that Alex is baking the cookies. So that’s interesting.

Maya heads outside and sees Jacque. He says this is a really special bakery. Then, he tells her he’s just been incentivized by his landlord to keep his bakery where it is. Alex shows up and tells them both that he wants to take over the bakery.

Now it’s time for Alex and Maya to have their moment. She tells him she doesn’t like Jacque (finally) and that she’s not taking the big law job. Alex asks her on a date and they kiss and it starts snowing.

Guys this movie was WILD. Absolutely WILD. I loved the gingerbread baking component. I laughed A LOT as I remembered how Hallmark does basically ZERO research on the careers it gives its leads. And I continue to scratch my head over the enthusiasm of the adults that compete in this obstacle course scenarios. And finally, BLACK AND WHITE REAL ESTATE PHOTOS. So yeah. It was definitely FUN to watch though, which is why I keep coming back for more. What did you think?

Listen to the audio version of this recap here.

You guys we did it. We made it to the end of the second weekend. And the third weekend starts tomorrow. Is the Christmas season flying by for you? As my home remains decorated with pumpkins and fall colors? And yet Christmas is basically next weekend. So, as per usual, we don’t have a moment to waste.

The movie begins in 1990. A blonde little girl (obviously our leading lady, Liz) wears a jacket I swear I had as a small child. Her mother wears a sweater I would wear now. They are on a boat dock and plan to participate in a Christmas parade. A sweet boy named Luke tries to step out of the family picture but they make him join back in. Oh I love that.

Fast forward to present. THIS IS THE MOST DECORATED I’VE EVER SEEN ANY PLACE EVER. Grown up Liz’s assistant asks if she’s changed her plans for Christmas. Grown up Liz explains she’s not going home for Christmas because she and her dad are not close. This poor assistant is dying for the chance to head home but that may not be in the cards.

Meanwhile, Grown up Luke makes bunches and bunches of bouquets and chats with his mom.

Liz continues to walk around the hotel making sure all the decorations are in place. I think she is living there too because her house burned down? She’s waiting on insurance money to start the repairs. Guys we never hear more about what exactly happened to her house that would be so severe to render it uninhabitable. I’m just telling you now to release this.

Back in the hometown, some very helpful “older people” try to set Luke up with their niece while standing in line at the bakery. NO ONE IN THIS TOWN TAKES A MOMENT’S REST WHEN IT COMES TO SINGLE PEOPLE OF A CERTAIN AGE. NO ONE. Later, he plays chess with Locke from Lost. Locke, I mean, Dennis wins. Guys, when I tell you there are YEARS of my life LOST to that show. And I’ll NEVER get them back. And Locke is partially responsible. But today he is Dennis and I must forgive him and move on. Luke’s lunch break is over and he rushes off and asks Dennis to help his mom with something.

Back at the hotel, Liz calls her daughter banana. I am not okay with that. She’s got the cutest little double braid situation that I was never able to pull off. Not on my best day. Hannah, this little braided youth, approves of the hotel decorations. Also, do any parents actually try and promise their kids that the present Christmas will be the BEST ONE EVER? Keep expectations low, I always say.

Back at home, Dennis stops by the Christmas market as promised. As he zones out, fixated on a small child wandering under half-hearted attempt at caution tape, the tree behind said caution tape starts to fall. Dennis races into action and saves this unattended child from getting knocked over by a Christmas tree!

Liz shows her daughter more of the magic of the hotel Christmas decorations. She has a little station set up memorializing the special Christmas boat parade in her hometown. She tells Hannah that her dad sold their boat when her mom died. Then Liz gets a call about her dad. He must have hurt himself in that rescue.

Wow, even the taxi boat has garland on it. Hannah is STOKED to be Liz’s hometown. What does she have against Christmas in a hotel? Maybe they’ll have homemade oatmeal in a crockpot.

Grown up Luke runs into the girls on the dock. Liz tells him he looks “healthy” which takes him off guard. Frankly, such a comment would take me off guard as well. Hannah asks if she also looks healthy. Only a child would WANT such a compliment, honestly. He is there to pick them up. Luke is surprised to hear that Liz hasn’t spoken to her dad about this incident at all. So like, she gets a phone call and just boats right over? No calling her dad? That is odd, isn’t it?

Then, Luke points out that the Christmas parade now offers a cash prize. So people were just doing this out of the goodness of their hearts before? Luke also reveals that her boat actually was not sold. She must go see for herself. It’s in really bad shape. And we are all perplexed why her dad said he sold it.

They show up on Dennis’s doorstep and it’s slightly awkward. I mean obviously because she was not expected. Casual Hallmark plug when Liz inspects the Christmas cards on the mantle.

Liz tells “banana” to explore the house while she chats with her dad. I really hate that she calls her that. Dennis says he’s fine, not injured and that everyone is overreacting. Then Joyce, who is DEFINITELY NOT Luke’s mom shows up. Hannah says she smells like cookies. She is very bubbly and came with cookies. If there is an explanation as to where Joyce came from and how she became Dennis’s “special friend” I missed it. I also made up that special friend business because one can only just assume. Even at the END of the movie we get no closure on this point.

At the floral shop, Luke’s friend (who’s name I NEVER CATCH) continues to try and set him up for the “Winter Ball.” Liz and Hannah stroll past and the boys have a little tween goss sesh. Luke catches up to Liz. YOU GUYS THIS STREET. Like I have NEVER seen a street that looks STRAIGHT OUT OF THE NORTH POLE.

Liz vents a little about how big of a grouch her dad is. Then they see a posting for her dad’s house on a real estate office window. WHAT NOW.

Liz confronts her dad about the house and he says the bank is selling it. But yeah, he just hadn’t gotten around to telling her. Boy, Dennis is in a real STATE isn’t he? It’s almost like he was trapped on a bizarre island for 5-6 years in limbo between life and death.

Later, Hannah colors quietly while Dennis reads. (Is that what it’s like to have a girl child? They just…sit? Quietly? I just need a moment.) The old grouch suggests they take a break and takes her to their formal living room. Dennis tells Hannah about her grandma and his job as a geography teacher. Then he offers to teach her to play chess.

Joyce stops by with a poinsettia. Liz tells her that her dad has until the end of the month to pay what he owes on the house, which spoiler alert, must be around $25,000. And gang? I NEVER hear why he hasn’t been paying. Never. Like he’s what, 2 years from paying that house off if that’s all that’s left? And he stopped paying 6 months ago? Couldn’t we just set the ol boy up on auto pay?

They invite Dennis to the Christmas market that night but he doesn’t want to go. They head over without him. Again you guys, the CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS. Luke wears a lovely Christmas apron. Okay Joyce isn’t Luke’s mom. That makes more sense. Luke takes Liz and Hannah to the smore stand. Liz fills Luke in on the house situation. Then Luke reveals that he he plays chess with Dennis every week.

Liz runs into pregnant Julie and husband. Joyce corrals the lot of them for the tree lighting.

Before the tree lighting, the mayor announces the monetary prize for the parade. She’s like, okay would anyone else like to enter? Anyone in this giant crowd? She then asks the crowd to all close their eyes and bow their heads and to raise their hand if they want to join. “I see that hand.” She says a few times. GUYS IT’S NOT THAT FAR OFF.

Actually she essentially tells them all to just yell it out if you want in. That’s how we do it here. At the very last moment, Liz decides to enter.

Hannah fills Dennis the grouch in when they get home and shows him the wreath they got for him. He’s like cool but I hate wreaths. I love Liz’s red sweater. Hannah heads upstairs and Liz scolds him for “taking Christmas away.” Dennis is like, well you stopped coming for Christmas. And Liz is like, well duh you wouldn’t even decorate. Hello, have you seen this town at Christmas? This is a travesty. And he’s like nobody stopped you from decorating. So they get no where. Then she tells him she signed up for the parade. Dennis says No. He is pretty upset about it.

Luke lives on a houseboat I think? He is awoken to Liz and Hannah cleaning off the old boat parked right next to his. He likes to sleep until 8 AM which is way too late for a man in his what…thirties? forties?

Luke is like, so have you considered how much work it will be to clean this boat up and also the parade is in a week? Then Liz lowers the stakes to basically, zero. She says if they don’t win the parade money, she will just use the insurance money to buy the house back. So again, NOTHING MATTERS at this point.

Liz shows Luke a cartoon drawing of a sailboat, the kind a hipster might tattoo on his arm, and he finds a way to provide legitimate constructive criticism about her design plans. Again, it is essentially a child’s drawing of a sailboat. Despite all the nonsense and the lack of stakes, Luke agrees to help them.

Back at home, Hannah makes a sad little gingerbread house ALONE. Liz makes a small serving of mac and cheese for dinner, seemingly for just herself. Dennis is so offended he decides to make a nice dinner the following day.

The next day, Luke’s pal sneaks up on him and tells him he knows he got a job offer. Guys this never comes up again. Also, his wife Julie knows EVERYTHING. He asks how Liz and Luke drifted apart. Oh, and then there is mention of an ex-husband right in front of the youth selling roasted pecans. Luke’s friend reminds him not to squander opportunities. Then they literally run into the devil of whom they are speaking-Liz. Luke’s friend encourages Luke, his boss, to take the day off to help Liz.

Dennis runs into Joyce at a bakery. He is mad at her for telling Liz about his injury or the house or whatever. She COULD NOT CARE LESS and I love it. She promises to bring a cake by on her way home from work and he invites her to stay. OH, DOES HE? IS SHE HIS SPECIAL FRIEND OR NOT.

On the boat, Luke and Liz reminisce after finding an old photo album. They take a bunch of pictures quickly to finish up a roll of old film. Remember those days? Liz invites him to dinner that night.

When they get home, I see garland on the stairs and the wreath Hannah bought on the door. That old grinch’s ice heart is melting. I have a feeling that granddaughters have special magic for that sort of thing. My own grouchy old grandpa once lovingly declared that my son was like wart…he just grows on you. So, that is the boy version of that sentiment.

At dinner, Dennis tells Hannah how wild Liz and Luke were as children, running around on the docks. And he tells a cute story about sneaking onto someone else’s boat to meet Santa. Oh, casual Hallmark brand wine on the counter. I forget, who made this movie?

They all eat cake while watching TV. Wait, just Hannah eats cake while watching TV. Liz and Luke clean up. Liz asks Luke why he lives on a boat. Luke says he likes living on a boat more than a house. That seems crazy. Do you have electricity? Then Liz apologizes for not being around more after his dad died. Luke admits he got a little weird around Liz after that because of…Kevin, who apparently turned into a deadbeat dad?

The crew does some decorating while Joyce knits. Joyce brings up the “Winter Ball.” Hannah is quite stoked about it. And honestly, the only thing I can think of is Cinderella when I hear such a term, so child Cally is stoked at the idea as well. Hannah asks if Luke will take them and HE SHUTS THAT TINY DOUBLE BRAIDED GIRL DOWN. Way harsh, Luke. Liz pulls out a homemade reindeer ornament from 3^rd grade. Pretty sure I have one of those too!

Meanwhile, Dennis looks at pictures on an old projector. Liz and Dennis have a little bit of a heart to heart about her mom dying and grief, generally.

Later, Liz flips through the pictures on the projector herself. Luke stares at her like a creep. But also, if he’s still there, it’s kind of rude that she’s just in the den alone looking at pictures.

The next morning, the girls put in some serious elbow grease on the boat. Liz is wearing her mom’s old sweater. She can’t twist the main sail or whatever? Luke arrives and does one tiny thing and fixes it. She keeps hoisting the main sail only to discover that it’s all ripped and dirty.

Luke and Liz chat about the…decorations? Of the boat? Liz thinks they’re too simple. I don’t actually know what they’re talking about. Then she laughs too hard at his pun. Hallmark LOVES PUNS way too much.

Alright now we have a boat decoration planning and package accepting montage. Joyce stops by with cookies OF COURSE. Bless you, Joyce.

Luke makes a super-secret call wearing a throw blanket around his neck. Liz wonders if he and her dad actually play chess or if they just gossip the whole time. I think it’s both. He asks her about her job and I actually don’t know what she does. She tells him she hasn’t wanted to date since she got divorced. They share a LOOK. Or maybe she is staring at his basic bee blanket scarf. Hannah gets seasick or scurvy from eating too many cookies. Naturally, the cure is hot chocolate with whipped cream and sprinkles. Out the window of the coffee shop, Hannah sees some elves run past. Hannah runs out to catch them. They run all the way to the Christmas Village and find the elves. There is some kind of child participation activity happening. Liz runs into her DAD at the village. Well this is a cute idea. The elves give the kids all a list of items needed at the food pantry. Dennis offers to take Hannah to find all the items on the list.

Later Liz and Luke do more boat decorating. Luke claims he remembers everything about Liz. She quizzes him. He creepily remembers EVERYTHING about her from high school. Is that weird? Or sweet? I barely know any of the answers to these questions about myself in high school. Favorite food in high school? I don’t know, EVERYTHING? I ate EVERYTHING. Then Liz admits she had a crush on him in high school. Some boat thing swings and they have to duck and then have a MOMENT. Luke insists she didn’t have a crush on him in high school. He is about to say he liked her too but her phone rings.

Hannah asks Dennis why they don’t spend Christmas together. And she suggests they all miss her grandma together instead of alone, which is very good advice.

At the boat, Liz tells her dad that her insurance company called and she isn’t going to get the insurance checks in time. So Dennis offers to help finish decorating since they are running out of time. So what do they do? They go get a Christmas tree for the inside of the house.  

Luke’s friend wonders if they’re all going to the Ball that night. So are they going OR NOT? Luke is like, so I’ll see you tomorrow. After a moment, Liz runs after him and he seems like he’s changed his tune on the Ball. Luke thinks they should all go. Oh good.

Liz heads back in and it appears to be the middle of the night at this point and Joyce and Hannah are decorating the tree. Dennis suggests that he and Hannah put the angel on top together. So that’s sweet. Perhaps that ice heart has melted completely. They all have a moment looking at the lit tree.

Okay FOR REAL WHAT TIME IS IT. The girls are all ready for the ball. I LOVE Liz’s royal blue dress. Dennis is going too! Oh yay. This is going to be fun for them (and me as I live vicariously through them.)

The Ball is at the Christmas Village. Liz suggests that Luke looks healthy again. They stand around awkwardly for a moment. Luke invites Liz to get a drink. They are using blue Solo cups at this Ball. That’s amusing to me.

Then Luke invites Liz to dance. I can’t deal with the decorations. This is the Christmas Energy we’ve needed. As they dance, Luke tells her why he never went back to the Ball after high school? Because he got all psyched out about telling Liz how he really felt. OMG then they kiss! We haven’t even had the boat parade. RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE TOWN?! OMG.

 He says he wished he could have told her sooner how he felt. Then Liz splashes cold water on the whole thing. She reminds him that she has to go back to Seattle in a few days. He’s like well you should just uproot your life because I obviously can’t leave my little houseboat here in town. So then they decide it’s not meant to be. And then she leaves.

Later, it’s snowing and Dennis and co are all sitting around a bonfire having smores or something. Liz tells them she’s going to head home. Dennis realizes something is UP and follows her. She is home staring at the tree. She asks Dennis what he’s going to do if they lose the parade? He asks what she thinks about selling the boat? Liz thinks her mom loved the boat. But obviously she loved the FAMILY ON THE BOAT LIZ.

Luke and his mom have their own heart to heart. Luke tells her that he told Liz how he felt and how they decided that it won’t work. The mom is like GIRL WHAT? You really said you can’t leave this tiny little town and that stinky old houseboat? YOU ARE A MAN IN YOUR FORTIES. MOVE TO SEATTLE.

So, the next morning, Luke finds Dennis setting up the old chess board. He has SOME PLANS. He tells Dennis that he loves Liz. He’s like duh? “I already know that.” As my son would say.

Alright so now it’s time for the boat parade. Wow, I love this parade. Liz’s boat looks amazing. Even the judges think so! On the boat, Dennis hoists the main sale with a surprise for Liz! A digital slide show of their family playing on the main sail! I love that. Is it the same ratty sail? The old Santa judge even wipes a tear from his eye. Then Luke CREEPS OUT FROM INSIDE THE BOAT. Or has he been there the whole time? He makes his big speech. Then she tells him to stop talking and they KISS RIGHT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE AGAIN.

Well, would you believe they won the parade? The next morning, the whole gang opens presents on the boat. Luke says he might be able to build houses in Seattle. Liz is like, well duh? And Liz plans to come back more often. Which gives Luke the opportunity to say, well duh. Then Dennis takes a big family picture with Joyce included.

So that was a fun movie. Quite a handful of unanswered questions, lots of shameless Hallmark company plugs but overall I did enjoy watching this one. It had the requisite Hallmark silliness and some legitimately OVER THE TOP decorations. Honestly, I don’t think we’ve seen outdoor street decorations of that caliber thus far at Hallmark. TELL ME WHERE ELSE. So yeah, it was a fun watch. Let me know what you thought!