Category Archives: Uncategorized

Christmas is over but Hallmark has found a way to capitalize on all seasons. So now we have a month of winter-but-not-Christmas movies. Guess what? I’m here for it. I even kept up all my snowflake Christmas decorations because winter deserves to be celebrated. This is the first in Hallmark’s “WinterFest” series. It premiered on January 4, 2020. Let’s get in to it.

Lacey Chabert, Chelsea, is giving a presentation about a very fancy vacation or trip to the Swiss Alps. This is for a group of music executive and she came in under budget. Oh, her boss is too busy for the rest of the presentation. Chelsea is so bummed. She walks out of the meeting and her friend thinks she might be up for Vice President!! Now her boss wants to talk to her. What could that be about?

Trish, her boss, is blown away by her ice palace presentation. Trish totally tricks Chelsea into thinking she is up for VP but really she wants Chelsea to be really welcoming to their new employee. Oh dang, they went with an outside hire for the VP. That is what this guy will be doing.

She and the friend, Vienna, go to lunch. Chelsea is bummed. But an hour ago she didn’t even know she was up for it. Vienna gives her something she had to sign for. Her uncle left her a “Chalet” in Vail in his will. She hasn’t even seen him since high school. We should all be so lucky. This is sort of the last straw for her. She orders the same thing for lunch every day, which is not enough to eat for lunch anyway and she’s just fed up with it all apparently. Planning lux vacations for rich people is just too BORING.

She goes back to work and decides to quit. She is going to go to the chalet and figure out her life I guess.

She pulls up in Vail and literally just parks in the middle of the road. A grouchy guy is unloading boxes and tells her she can’t park. But I do think he is still probably the cutest guy from the Christmas movie series so I’m going to allow it. There is no parking or driving in town. So she has to move her car. She stops to pet all the dogs, as you must. Oh she wanders around and runs into a man who runs the Edelweiss restaurant. He tells her where to find a grocery store. Oh that grouchy guy is the nice restaurant owner’s son.

This grocery store actually looks like what you’d see in a small town. She is having trouble reading the labels on the food but apparently she was just in the German aisle of the grocery store. So maybe she should just get out of that aisle and keep walking. She runs into an employee of the Edelweiss.

She finally makes it to the chalet. She meets Bev, not Beverly, who must be the realtor or maybe someone connected to her uncle’s estate. Inside, there is a lot of construction equipment in here. Her uncle was in the middle of a remodel when he died. Oh and the heater doesn’t work either. She might not be able to stay there while she sorts this all out. She goes outside on the deck and sees a telescope. Shouldn’t they store that inside? The contractor will be there soon though!

Inside, the water coming out of the sink is brown. I really feel she should have come here first before committing to groceries. She goes to turn on the fireplace and gets stuff all over her hands. The contractor arrives and well, wouldn’t you know it. It’s the grouchy grouch. He gets the fire going for her and then they go to look at the heat situation. The grouchy grouch’s name is Owen. Chelsea tells him she owns the place. So that was pretty obvious right? They stopped doing the renovations when he died.

They go outside and they want to start over. She says, let’s compromise and say our little dust up was all your fault. That’s cute. She wants him to keep going on the renovations but she’s not sure what she can afford since she just quit her job. Also, she hasn’t seemed to need her phone all day and has no idea where it is! Isn’t that just the darnedest thing.

That night, the Edelweiss is just hopping. She and Owen go there together. Carl, the owner shows up and is like what! You guys know each other! And then Molly, his only other employee I guess? He wants to make something special for Chelsea. The place is empty because everyone is at the really fancy places. Wow, Owen is wearing a truly beautiful sweater. Oh wow, Chelsea learns that her uncle co owned the place and was best friends with Carl. He was a pastry chef at the Edelweiss. She shares that they weren’t that close and she was surprised he gave her the chalet. Wow, their dinner is ready immediately. After dinner, they take a horse drawn carriage around town. They’ve sure come a long way since this morning! Dang. More parking jokes. Just killing it.

Owen is like, wait you’re not staying at the house tonight? It’s haunted. Just kidding. He didn’t say that. But isn’t it probably haunted? She gets back and the heat is broken. So instead of scouring the house for murderers, she just goes right up to a bedroom with lots of blankets. Somehow she has the internet and is researching how to fix the heat. Her friend calls and they catch up.

Owen arrives the next morning to find Chelsea both murdered and frozen to death. Just kidding. She overslept I guess. Oh, no she didn’t. Owen and Rob are just there at 6 AM and it’s totally light out at that time in Colorado. While Chelsea unpacks, she sees some framed photos of her and her uncle in the drawers.

She comes down and has put together a really helpful list of things to fix. Rob, apparently an idiot, starts on the floors FIRST. I don’t know anything about home construction but I would think you would do the floors last because you like walk all over them and they get super dirty and stuff?

Owen gets to work on the plumbing. Trying to help, Chelsea douses him with water.

Outside, she builds herself a little bonfire. Owen comes out to see her. She is very organized and tells him about her life before and her plan for the day. He tells her all the fun stuff to do in Vail. She does ski, skate or day spa. Then he tells her about an adventure park and she seems very intrigued. But she only has free time from 4-5 so I hope that is enough time to try everything there! He’s like maybe I can come with you. And then she says she doesn’t think she has the right clothes. Owen is like, just go into town and buy some new winter gear. And she’s like yeah I have a few extra hundreds I can just impulse buy some ski gear. They plan to meet at 5 at the gondola.

She arrives with better clothes. They ride up the gondola and they talk about where she might end up next. She thinks she can only event plan in New York or LA. Well Missy, I’ve got about 40 Hallmark movies that suggest otherwise. Owen shares some of his own back story, which includes that his dad’s business is struggling to compete with all the high end restaurants in Vail.

Oh, bless her heart. Chelsea seems to have never gone tubing. Or sledding? Or anything? Oh that is heartbreaking. That looks super fun. Oh no. Here comes the snowball. Owen throws a snowball almost as hard as he can at her.

The next morning, Chelsea makes some cold calls. Owen shows up with some pastries. Great guy. The woman she calls doesn’t want her to plan her wedding anniversary from Colorado or without Elegant Events. Chelsea is blown away by the pastries. They are his uncle’s recipes that he didn’t write down. You’re telling me that they’ve totally finished with the renovation in two days? Two dudes doing plumbing, electrical, new floors…? No. She finds a scrap book and brings it to the Edelweiss to reminisce. Oh and she found his apple strudel recipe.

They decide to take the afternoon off to see the town. They go ice skating. They have a nice heart to heart as they stroll through town. Behind them, a man inexplicably carries his skis through town in full ski gear. Then they decide to make her uncle’s strudel.

At the restaurant, they get to work. Chelsea has a lot of confidence for someone who doesn’t bake. I am having a little trouble getting through this baking scene. They did it! They cut it up to try. They toast with their strudel bites. Chelsea suggests the restaurant try to make a comeback with some buzz around the strudel. People love going off the beaten path for the “best whatever” in whatever town.I know I do They wonder if there is such a thing as a strudelfest. . Later, they look at the stars together. Owen tells her a story about one of the stars. I’ve never heard that one. I think he made it up.

Turns out, there IS such a thing as a strudelfest in other countries. Why shouldn’t they host one in Vail? Owen’s dad is like, that is ridiculous. But everyone else is on board. Chelsea agrees to plan it. Carl’s in. They get to planning down at the restaurant. Carl seems to be held there against his will but everyone else is excited. Owen tells them they have a big storage room they could clean out for dancing. Apparently this is an important part of the weekend.

Owen and Chelsea cross country ski to a restaurant to find some strudel judges. How is Carl’s restaurant struggling but the one you have to cross country ski to is doing just fine? Oh, they could have driven there. But they get fondue. I would love to eat a bowl of melted cheese after being forced to cross country ski. They meet the chef and tell her about their festival idea.

That night, they get a bunch of people together from the older section of town to tell them about strudelfest. All the store owners come up with ideas for spins on strudel. Oh good question Frankie. Where is the money coming from? Everyone has to pitch in. They all seem stoked about it. She’s already made cute flyers and everything. Owen looks at Chelsea lovingly. Carl notices.

Back at Chelsea’s, Owen says she is doing a great job. He’s helping her with the electrical now I think. He’s done it. She asks if what he’s doing is enough. He’s an architect. Is he doing what he loves? It doesn’t seem that way. He changes the subject. They need one more strudel judge. Okay, I’ll do it you guys. Oh, Owen has someone in mind.

In town, signs and banners start going up for Strudelfest. Okay, I legitimately want to go to this. They head to a big fancy restaurant and meet with the chef there. She’s won a lot of awards. She says she could set up a booth. And she makes a pretty chocolate globe and then pours hot chocolate over it. Her hot chocolate recipe sounds very Scandinavian. I’m in. They now seem to be sitting in the lobby of this hotel just chowing down on fancy pastries and hot chocolate. Owen says to no one “400 more pastries please.” And well, yes I’m in for that also.

She gets home and her friend from work, Vienna is there. She looks at some old photos and they catch up. Owen is mentioned in like minute one. Vienna shares that Trish, their old boss sent her. Chelsea rudely reads a text on Vienna’s phone. Vienna says Trish will give her anything. The new guy is not a team player apparently. Well that’s what you get for hiring from the outside, girl!

Vienna stays to help set up. The ice cream owner is wearing THE BEST SWEATER I’VE SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. Everything is getting set up and it looks so cute. The festival starts tonight. Carl still looks like he’s being held against his will. She walks into the back room. It looks so cute. Except there are way to many pennant style banners along the wall. We GET IT. It’s STRUDELFEST.

Carl and Chelsea have a nice moment. He says he’s thinking he might sell. But mostly so Owen isn’t stuck with taking care of him and the restaurant. They hug.

Owen says they are just missing one thing. He leads her into the kitchen. He’s got everything set up to make strudel. You know what? I’m going to make a strudel this weekend. What, like it’s hard?

That night, the party is happening. I love Chelsea’s dress. A group of old timey looking German people march in playing music.

Bev brings her strudel in and shares that she kind of like ol Carl. Lots of strudel entries. The fancy judge introduces her to a bookstore owner and wants some help planning for relocating. It’s all happening.

Oh, Owen bets her a dance that they win. Well nuts. Bev won! Bev gives a plug for her real estate business. Owen says she still owes her a dance. Because they did win because everyone is having a good time and it was a fun event. Amen to that, good sir. The restaurant worker and Vienna look on admiringly. Owen and Chelsea have a nice moment while they dance. Owen is like, you’ve made a huge difference here. She says YOU FEEL LIKE HOME. Dang girl, get it. Vienna is the WORST and knows she’s the worst and feels really bad about it. Trish is on her phone. Trish is like WHATEVER IT TAKES. Please stay. She could be a VP of whatever she wants and she could name her salary. Ooof that is tough.

Later, she talks to Owen about it. She’s like, this would be my dream job and my time in Vail is just temporary. He is sad and supportive. She says if she doesn’t try, she’ll always wonder. They hug. He says she’s changed a lot of lives here. And then Hallmark advertises for their kitten bowl across the screen which seems to be ill timed. He leaves.

At her house, Chelsea reflects on the place and how nice it is. Vienna says that some lucky buyer will snatch it right up. Why doesn’t she just keep it as an AirBnB?

Back in LA, she is back at work. Trish dumps a bunch of stuff on her desk that Danny couldn’t figure out. Trish is like, I’m so glad you’re back. It’s like nothing’s changed! Vienna is like look at your big beautiful office but it looks like Harry Potter’s cupboard under the stairs. Chelsea is like I really miss Vail. Vienna is like, you should go back to Vail. You were so happy there.

Back in Vail, Owen is working on some architecture. Carl shares that they are back in the Vail guide book too! People want to hold some events there too. Too bad they don’t have an event planner though right! Carl gives Owen some real talk. Owen is like, it’s too late dad. Then he eats a big bite of cake. Carl is like, Bev made the cake.

That night, Owen goes to the chalet to get his tools. But uh oh. The door is ajar. That’s not good. He is way to casual with his “hellos”. Oh! Chelsea is here! Just standing outside staring at the sky in the snow with no hat and her coat unzipped. She seems to be a little unwell. And then they KISS. He’s like wait, I thought you had everything you wanted in LA. And Owen isn’t in LA! And then they kiss again. Whew we did it. No checklist though since this isn’t a Christmas movie! Though it probably would check off quite a few. Should I keep the checklist going? Does it apply to all Hallmark movies regardless of season? Let me know what you think!

Christmas on My Mind premiered on December 21 on Hallmark Movies & Mysteries. This is Andrew Walker’s second Christmas movie this season. Dang girl! Get it. This is my last recap of the season. I can’t believe I did it. Let’s dive in.

A woman darts down the street, her arms full of something. She passes a Santa Claus. He cautions her to slow down. I think she’s about to get hit by a car but Hallmark surprises me and she slips on a patch of ice and hits her head that way instead. Santa is like, are you okay? She’s like yeah I’m fine. But she is so obviously not. She doesn’t know what town she’s in and she has to confirm the day. Despite this information, he lets her go. She hails a taxi to go to Bedford Harbor. She is NOT going to Bedford Falls because that is a different movie.

Inside a restaurant in Bedford Harbor, Zach is chatting with his brother Beau about how is such a busy restauranteur in this small town. Lucy, the girl who just hit her head, runs into a restaurant in Bedford Harbor relieved to find Zach. She starts talking to him about what happened and he is very surprised to see her. Through their conversation, she realizes that they broke up two years ago but she has no memory of that. He decides to take her to the hospital.

At the hospital, she doesn’t have a concussion or anything which is strange since she has amnesia. Zach shows her her own business card and she realizes that her aunt must have died and she must have taken over running her foundation. Here’s a question. Does anyone actually get amnesia in real life? She tells the doctor her last memory was two years ago at Christmas. She talks about how she used to run the Children’s art program at the community center. That can’t be a full time job. Zach agrees to drive her back to Portland, ME. Lucy doesn’t remember where she lives. Is it weird that I’ve kind of always wanted to have amnesia? But like for real it would be so scary and annoying. It’s like smoking in Mad Men. They make it look SO COOL but I don’t actually want to do it.

Zach is like, so you wear suits now. What? What kind of comment is that. They drive home and apparently don’t talk about what happened or what he knows about the last two years.

At her house, her friend and coworker, Anna, meets them. She lives in like a gigantic mansion. She runs an art foundation in Portland, Maine. Why and how would she live in this gigantic house? Is she embezzling money? Or do houses in Portland cost NOTHING. And she hired a decorator to do her decorations? What on Earth. She doesn’t remember Anna or Brad. Brad?

Then Brad, her CURRENT FIANCÉ shows up. He hugs her and she has no idea who he is. Then Zach and Brad are like sup brah to each other. Brad says the bridal shop where she left her phone called him. She has apparently planned THIS wedding for the week of Christmas too. How original. Oh, it’s New Year’s Eve. But honestly, isn’t that the exact same thing? Zach leaves. Brad tries to get her some food but Anna reads the room and suggests he leave. The friend offers to stay with her. But don’t forget about the big Foundation Christmas party tomorrow! All the donors! Somebody’s gotta pay the mortgage on this big ol house!

Anna shows Lucy her closet to try and jog her memory. She has an amazing wardrobe. So she apparently became a totally different person. Also, she sneezes when she has dairy? I don’t think that’s how dairy allergies work. I sneeze every time I have wintermint gum. Is that the same thing?

At the restaurant, Beau needs some DEETs. Zach is super casual about the whole thing. She’s just engaged again and about to be married just two years after their seemingly VERY LONG relationship. NBD. Their mom is like, what! Lucy was here?! What’s happening?

That night, Lucy attends her Foundation Christmas party. She doesn’t remember a soul. This is a SUPER fancy party. And she is pretending she knows everyone. She takes a bite of some pie and is like, ew this is store bought. Why didn’t I just bake the pies for this huge party? Anna is surprised that she knows how to bake. And then Lucy says it’s a tradition for her to make pies at Christmas. But that bums me out because Christmas is supposed to be about cookies and Scandinavian pastries, not pie. Hey that guy who is the Reverend from A Family Christmas Gift. I think he is also a mayor in another one. Get it girl!

That night, Lucy tells Brad that she’s going to go back to Bedford Harbor over the phone. Anna agrees to go with her.

When Lucy and Anne get to Bedford Harbor, Lucy stresses that she needs to figure out what happened between her and Zach. Why didn’t they talk about that in the car as I suggested previously?

Inside Zach’s restaurant, he and his brother are arguing about I can’t remember what. Lucy walks in and wants to talk to Zach. Beau and Anna seem in to each other. Beau invites them to go ice skating later. Anna agrees.

Anna and Lucy arrive at her aunt’s “cottage” which is just as big as her house in Portland. How utterly ridiculous that this nonprofit owner would have these two massive houses. The girls look through Lucy’s closet and Anna is so surprised by what they find. Lucy dresses SO DIFFERENT now. So many suits, so few sweaters. Girl, this is so sadly MY OWN LIFE, minus the two gigantic houses all to myself. Also, Anna seems really surprised that she has so many winter clothes despite also living in Maine.

Anna finds Lucy looking through old ornaments and reminisces about making them with Zach. How long were the together?

At the ice skating rink, Zach is holding two small boxes that are supposed to contain all the lights for the big town Christmas tree. Then Zach’s mom shows up. Lucy asks about the arts education program at the community center. They haven’t done it since she left.

Lucy zips off on the ice skating rink. He zips over to catch up with her. She keeps calling him by his last name all of a sudden. Is that how they are? Anna is terrible at skating but Beau is happy to help. Morgan shows up. She seems interested in Zach. And not threatened AT ALL by Lucy. Anna is like, oh dang Lucy. You have a conference call that’s at night that you need to get to. Anna is just CRUSHING IT as a wing man. Somehow Lucy still doesn’t know why she and Zach broke up.

Back at the restaurant, the bros talk about how Lucy doesn’t remember anything except that she was in a relationship with Zach. Beau is like OMG it was SO awkward last night, right? Zach is like no what do you mean? Zach is afraid for her to remember what happened I think. Oh what could that mean?

Lucy talks to her doctor. She can’t figure out how she got to where she is now. The doctor thinks her memory blocks might be psychological instead of physical. Well, considering the doctor said there wasn’t anything physically wrong with her, that seems to be the only logical conclusion. Lucy thinks she did something wrong though.

Back at the cottage, she is decorating for Christmas to help her remember happier times. Anne is like, why are you sad? And Lucy says she usually decorates with Zach. I love Lucy’s sweater so much. Anne suggests that if she needs to do stuff to jog her memory, she needs to hang out with Zach more.

Lucy and Zach go for a stroll through the Christmas tree farm. They reminisce about her bad driving. They talk about his dad dying and him taking over the restaurant. She says she doesn’t even recognize her life in Portland. She says she just keeps thinking about her breakup. He’s like, oh don’t worry, that’s in the past. But isn’t that the whole point of this movie? She says, whatever happened between them, don’t take it out on Christmas!! A little girl approaches and says she misses Lucy’s class.

Lucy finds the PERFECT tree. Can they really rush into a decision like that? Zach needs help backing up his new truck. He apparently has never used mirrors or a backup camera. I once parallel parked a half-ton truck in Georgetown so maybe Zach doesn’t deserve to own that vehicle.

Uh oh. BRAD shows up. He booked himself an airbnb in town. Has any lead man ever been named Brad? Bless his sweet little popped collared heart. He seems to be a nice guy. But he is CLEARLY a city guy. Doesn’t want sap on his hands. Could he back up a truck even if he had a back up camera? I doubt it.

Lucy invites Brad to that evening’s town Christmas tradition. They fill him in on all the traditions including decorating and lighting the tree. Brad helps Zach bring in the tree. He is doing his BEST. He truly is.

They head inside and Brad is like WHOA there is so much Christmas happening here. Maybe too much for his taste? Anna asks to borrow a sweater. Again, isn’t Portland Maine probably just as cold as Bedford Falls or wherever they are? Shouldn’t she be prepared?

Brad is like, oh is that your truck Zach? Zach is like, yeah but I don’t know how to drive it. I own a restaurant. Brad is like oh cool. I run a nonprofit but I couldn’t drive a truck either!! So aren’t we just two peas?!

This awkward group heads to the snowman contest. Beau shows up and snatches Anna to be his partner. Now Brad, Zach and Lucy are stuck considering being a group of three. Morgan shows up. This poor girl needs a watch. Thank goodness. She does not seem threatened AT ALL by Lucy which is so weird.

Oh dear, Morgan has to go to a wine show in Napa over Christmas! And she was thinking maybe Zach could come? Haven’t they talked about going somewhere for Christmas? Haven’t they only been dating for six months? How are they already talking about future Christmases? He doesn’t even seem like he likes her. And it would be warm, she says? Not that warm. He’s like, how could anyone possibly travel over Christmas?

Lucy asks Brad about the foundation. She asks about her art education program. That really hasn’t become anything because Lucy’s primary focus is securing donors. That is ALL she can focus on. I mean that makes sense considering she owns two GIGANTIC houses. This foundation sounds truly terrible. What do they even do? What is the money going to? Just her houses apparently. Not any art.

It’s snowman contest time. It seems like a race but they are not even using gloves and were the snowmen pre built? Also how are the winners decided? Beau and Anna win. Great job gang.

That night, more “Christmas” s’mores happen. Lucy talks to Zach’s mom about the festival. His mom wishes she could do more for the Christmas festival. Lucy is sad that her kid’s education program never got off the ground. She is so bummed. She just is so passionate about KIDS AND ART. Hey, what about an art booth in the barn this week? SO GREAT. SO IMPORTANT.

Lucy walks around Bedford Harbor with Brad. Brad tells her about their favorite sushi restaurant in town. It’s great because they WORK SO MUCH at the ART Foundation. Then Lucy is like, I need to postpone this wedding. He says he’s put the whole day on hold. What does that mean? Lucy invites him to bake with her today. There is a pie contest later today. He plans to bid on her pie but he has to be able to guess which one it is.

Lucy runs into Zach at the store to get essentials for her pie. They reminisce more. Oh, Morgan is baking a pie for the contest too. Exciting!

At her “cottage” Lucy and Anna are wearing “ugly” Christmas sweaters to bake. IT’S TRADITION OKAY ANNA. It’s really important to me except for the last two years when I stopped caring about it. But now it’s REALLY IMPORTANT. Oh, Anna is wearing Zach’s sweater. Anna decides she’s not going to ask Zach why they broke up. WHY! This seems like the most important thing? Instead of shaking her, Anna is like, yeah that’s a good idea. Good for you.

It’s pie bidding time. The highest bidder per pie gets a photo with the baker and to keep the pie obviously. Lucy’s pies are apparently legendary. It’s time to announce the winners. Beau is the highest bidder on a strawberry pie. Brad bids on a pecan pie that ends up being Morgan’s. Uh oh. Zach bids on the cranberry pie which ends up being Lucy’s. Oh dear. This is a pickle. Brad chats with Morgan. Lucy and Zach were like we were both trying to avoid pecan because it’s Zach’s favorite! ACCKKK! Zach says her pie is perfect. Apparently this is an original recipe. Well, well, well. Zach says she just stopped baking the last three months of their relationship. Maybe because she was planning a wedding?

Morgan is mad at Zach for not guessing her pie. How can you not know your own lady’s pie?!! And now FINALLY she is jealous of Lucy. Morgan decides to go home.

Brad tells Lucy that he has to go back to the office. There is too much art work to do in Portland and he needs to go back. Lucy is like, no I need to stay for the children’s art booth. Brad is like, these two days of you being here just aren’t working for me. Then they decide that since Lucy doesn’t have her memory back, they should break up but he should still work there!! That wouldn’t be weird! She asks again about the Arts Education program. Apparently they went through some hard times and that had to go. Not her houses. The only thing that would make sense to do as an art foundation had to go.

Lucy talks to her doctor some more. This seems more like a therapy session than a check up about her amnesia. They have a nice heart to heart.

Lucy does her little art boot. This seems WAY too advanced for a casual booth at the festival and for this age group of kids. Her focus has always been art. But her Aunt Audrey was always so focused on “work.” What does Lucy think “work” is? Zach shows up and Lucy tells him that she and Brad broke up. Then Morgan shows up. She wants to talk to Zach. Lucy remembers she is SUPER busy. Morgan is going to California. She was hoping they were BOTH going. Zach is just SO BUSY with all kinds of stuff. And then Morgan is like, no it’s just Lucy. He’s sorry.

That night is the tree lighting at Bedford Harbor. Lucy shows up. The doctor and Zach’s mom are so glad that Lucy is back. Zach is there. Zach shares that he and Morgan broke up too. It’s for the best. Zach’s mom gives a little speech. After they light it, everyone can put an ornament on the tree. Lucy brings an ornament she and Zach made together.

At her “cottage” Lucy reads some articles about herself. It seems unlikely that such articles would exist. Brad calls her. Alex, the prospective donor, wants to move their meeting up to Christmas Eve!! He has to fly back to China for some reason so that’s what’s going on. She should give the pitch she put together already?

Later she does more work at her little art booth. That little boy with the glasses is too cute for words. Zach thinks whatever her idea is with this booth is SO CLEVER. Zach asks her to help him come up with some Christmasy snacks for the sleigh rides tonight. Before they can do anything else, he needs a tree for the restaurant apparently. Now they’re having a great time decorating. No montage though. It looks professionally done. Glad they spent all that time decorating the tree instead of getting the snacks done. She asks him to close his eyes and she gets out the ornaments they made together. How many ornaments did they make. He says he misses this. She says she doesn’t understand how she could leave all this behind. He starts to tell her something when Beau shows up. Oh they forgot about the snacks. She hides his Christmas sweater under the tree.

They walk through the festival while the cookies they made are cooling. She says that Brad called her about a meeting with a potential investor tomorrow. He’s like, are you going to go? Lucy isn’t sure. She says her role is all bureaucracy. Don’t they have just two employees? Zach gives her a little talking to about doing what she wants. Zach still holds back on telling her what he wanted to tell her. Come on dude!

At the festival, Lucy keeps Zach from eating gingerbread cookies. Then, Lucy had a flash of a memory with the horse drawn carriage. Her phone rings. It’s Brad. He’s checking in to see what she decided about the meeting.

Beau asks Zach what’s wrong. Zach says that Lucy is starting to remember. Beau is like, how have you not told her what happened? He doesn’t want to ruin it. Beau is like just tell her already bro ham.

Lucy comes back and Zach asks to take a walk. He starts to reminisce about the first time they came to the festival. He starts to tell her what happened and then Anna calls them for their turn in the sleigh. And then he still doesn’t tell her what happened. They get back from the sleigh ride and she has hot chocolate and then sneezes. And then she seems to remember that this was where they broke up. He wasn’t happy. He felt like she was pursuing a life he didn’t fit into. And she is like, wait I thought this was all my fault and I felt really bad about that. And you let me. So now she’s leaving FOR GOOD. So there, Zach. But she still doesn’t remember for herself. Anna sees Lucy looking upset.

Lucy says she has to go back and she says that Zach is the one that broke up with her. And Anna says she’ll meet her at the car. Nice friend.

At her house, Lucy apologizes for keeping Anna from Beau. Oh, Lucy says she remembers everything now. It was completely furnished. She still feels bad about everything. Anna thinks Aunt Audrey would want Lucy to follow her heart. That is terrible advice.

At the restaurant, Zach’s mom has a nice heart to heart with him. She talks some sense into him. Then Zach sees his Christmas sweater under the tree. This seems significant to him.

At the Foundation, Brad is so glad Lucy made it. She asks if he trusts her. She has decided to completely change her pitch. She says she did some research his fund and this research somehow included finding out that he played piano as a kid. She proposes an idea that sounds like not fully fleshed out and I would definitely want more information if I were to invest in her. He’s like, no I’m all in on this. I have to get to China for whatever reason.

Back in Bedford Harbor, Lucy sees all the kid’s paintings. They are honestly WAY TOO GOOD for eleven years old. She runs into Beau. He tells her Zach isn’t there. She goes to the Christmas tree and sees Zach just standing there like a weirdo. She tells him why she ran out of the bridal shop. She was on her way back to him. Oh he’s wearing the Christmas sweater. He says he was about to come find her. Oh sure, Zach. He says he felt like he was holding her back. Oh it took her forgetting who she was to remember who she was. Wait. It sounds better when she uses different tenses. Oh and she’s moving back home! That doesn’t make any sense. Well, maybe it does. How far away is Bedford Harbor. And then they KISS. Great work gang. Let’s see how we did.

• Small town person who hates the big city
• Christmas Contest
• Christmas Festival
• Christmas Tree Lighting
• Christmas Baking
• Winter Athletics
• Christmas puns
• A sassy and wise best friend

Total score: 8/20

A Family Christmas Gift premiered on December 22 on Hallmark Movies & Mysteries.

Holly calls someone and says she can’t make it some place. She comes in to work and tells the bellman she hasn’t had time to shop. She walks in to her offce and her assistant has coffee for her. What about lunch? No meetings so she’ll take that at her desk. She invites her assistant to hang out over Christmas but her boyfriend will be there.

Her boss tells her that next year will probably be an exciting year for her at the magazine where they work.

It’s the company Christmas party and the big boss gives a speech. He says he wants to single out of everyone but it’s not her. It’s some dude named Charlie. Wait, what was he talking about earlier then? What’s she got going for her next year if some young white dude is going to be the executive editor.

Later her boss catches her. He thought she was working over Christmas but she’s now decided to go home! To her very famous former singer aunt’s house in Colorado. He’s like sorry I picked that young dude over you. Are you mad?

A cute driver picks her up from the airport. He’s chatty. But her phone rings. Oh that town looks SO CUTE.

Allen drops her off and she tries to tip him. He’s like no I can’t take that. Her aunt, Dora comes out and is like, no Allen is my friend and he’s a musician too. He just did me a favor. Oh that’s awkward.

Kenny comes out! Kenny. He takes her bag up to her room. This is a great Inn. I keep feeling like I’ve seen this movie before…? Amber catches up with a bunch of people she knows and Dora shows her around. Amber doesn’t want to go see her old house. It’s too hard. Later, Dora wants to talk to her about a school fundraiser.

Wow, there is a plate of cookies in her room. And a picture of her parents. That makes her sad. Me too. Another friend comes in to say hi! Oh my gosh there is a Christmas tree in there. Leah is going to take her to the tree lighting ceremony. She might be too busy!! Leah talks her into going. More people she knows. Hey that guy’s been the mayor of a few towns now. The mayor announces of a bunch of items on our checklist. Yay! Ooooooh. Allen shows up. With his daughter Katie. Is this the pretty lady you were telling me about? Oh no that’s not what he said. He said “pretty bossy”. Excellent work, Katie.

Apparently, Dora signed Amber up to help Allen organize the school fundraiser. He is a music teacher there. Dora wants to help but is TOO busy. She goes to personally pick someone up at the train station. Okay but like how many people does Hallmark think regularly travels by train?

Later, Amber strolls through the Christmas market and heads to the school. Allen is conducting some children playing stringed instruments. Leah is there too and they reiminsce about high school. Amber is aghast at their fundraising abilities. They only made $800 last year. Allen is not really big on compromising though. He doesn’t want to change how they do things.

Amber pulls Allen aside to talk about the fundraiser. Allen says this is more like a showcase for the kids. They don’t actually need the money. Amber is like, this theatre is TOO plain. Allen is like, this allows the audience to focus on the kids. Allen pats her on the head and is like, no silly, I’m in charge. I don’t want to sell tickets. Amber has some truly great ideas. Allen sings “Tradition”from Fiddler on the Roof. Then he doubles down on being patronizing. He immediately regrets it but she walks off.

It’s Christmas Festival time and Amber and Leah are making the rounds. Allen’s daughter plays some kind of game. She complains about Allen. Leah share that it’s his first Christmas alone with Katie. Then Allen arrives and says he just got an email from the school board. They’re cutting their funding for the music program! What are they going to do!

The next morning, Allen and Katie get ready for school. Katie wants to look stylish like Amber. Oh they are divorced but they seem to have a strange custody arrangement for a school aged child.

At the Inn, Kenny remembers her drink order. Dora arrives and shares she’s bringing back the Christmas Eve caroling tradition. She tells Dora that the school board pulled the funding for the music program. Wait, but wasn’t it a grant? So wouldn’t that mean they just wouldn’t be able to apply for it for the next fiscal year? But maybe they know that.

She meets Allen at the festival. She is creating a vision for sets and costumes. Allen panics because they have zero money for that. Amber pats him on the head. She has a plan. The mayor shows up but she calls him reverend. I thought he was the mayor. Is he a pastor? Oh but a gambling pastor. Edgy. Amber gets a call from…her boss? But she says it’s the Inn and she leaves.

Back at the Inn, she calls Garret back. Charlie left for Florida for Christmas instead of starting his new job. But the board really likes her ideas and Garret wants to hear her pitch. She should make a power point!! She asks the magazine if they would be willing to sponsor. He agrees if she’ll interview Dora for the magazine. She hangs up without saying goodbye.

Amber plays piano in the lobby downstairs. Dora hears her. Amber shares that the magazine wants to interview her. Dora agrees.

Amber meets up with Allen again so now they have some money to burn. Katie and her friend shovel Christmas cookies in their mouths at a local restaurant, which seems a place Leah and her husband owns. Amber asks if they’d be willing to cater the fundraiser. Leah invites her and Allen over for dinner.

At a tree lot, Amber loads up on a bunch of wreaths and runs into Allen and Katie again. Katie and Allen are tree shopping. Amber apparently used to work at the tree lot in high school. Amber shares which tree is the best and which one is her favorite-the noble fir. Katie invites her to decorate the tree. Poor Allen tries to get the tree even. I love their tree stand. Katie says they make a great team. And now we have a Christmas tree decorating montage! And an interesting music choice. “I Saw Three Ships”? Really? They let Amber put up the star. It looks great guys. Leah’s daughter shows up. They must be neighbors?

The kids are doing some crafts or something in the living room. Amber takes it all in. Leah’s husband gets the food all ready for the catering tasting. They both lose their minds over the food. Leah makes a toast to Amber being back home. It’s very awkward for the men. Then Leah brings it back around.

Amber walks around the property and does an informal interview with Dora. She asks her about her first musical memory. Dora talks about singing with her grandma.

Later we have a montage of set building for the fundraiser. Oh we’re going back and forth between the interview and the set decoration montage. Allen and Amber have a moment while doing the set decorations.

I just love Dora’s necklace and pink shirt/heels combo. Dora tells Amber how proud she is of Amber. Oh, she paid for Amber’s college. Dang girl. They have a bonding moment about whether Dora was there or not for Amber when her parents died.

Amber goes toLeah’’s house and sees what Leah’s done for the school website. Leah then has a terrible idea. The kids could be in charge of writing something for the web page! Sure, if you don’t want it to get done.

At the school, Katie plays the piano. Amber tells her the song she is playing is one of her favorites. Amber gives her some tips and then offers to help. She talks while she’s playing the piano which I don’t think is possible. Allen walks in and sees them together.

Allen invites her to make a gingerbread house for the contest. Amber and Leah talk about whether or not she liked Allen. She says Silver Springs feels like home though. Leah is like, please move back! They talk about what kind of gingerbread house they should build. Katie wants to build a skyscraper and Amber calls her an idiot. A skyscraper?! Out of gingerbread? Honestly, Katie I know you are a kid but get your head on straight. Amber is like, why don’t you just decorate this premade house instead? Oh no! The pipes burst in the auditorium. It looks like everything is ruined. Amber doesn’t want to cancel though.What are they going to do?

At the Inn, there is a butt load of pies for the guests, I think? Amber arrives and tells Dora what’s going on. Where in the world can they hold the fundraiser? Dora has an idea. What about the church? Dora suggests that she headline to draw in a bigger crowd.

Amber talks to the pastor about the plan. He finally agrees when he hears that Dora will headline. Amber arrives at the school to see that Leah is handing out fliers with a “cancelled” sticker across the front. Seems a bit dramatic, wouldn’t you say? Amber shows them her fliers that include Dora as the headliner at the church. They all freak out.

At the festival, the little girls sell hot chocolate.

Holly puts up fliers at the Inn for the fundraiser. Later she talks to her boss about her interview with Dora. Garrett freaks out about it. Amber enjoyed doing the work. Garret tells her that the Executive Editor job is open. Charlie got poached by a different magazine. She has an interview tomorrow!

At the church, Katie sits in the pews and looks grumpy or nervous or something. Amber gives her a pep talk. Is Amber limping? Allen is like, do you want to go to dinner? Katie is going to Leah’s. The pastor interupptsand asks about parking. Amber agrees to go! Oh this is exciting. At the Inn, Dora puts out more Christmas cookies.

Amber has her interview.

Allen arrives to pick her up. She is SO dressed up. Why do people get so dressed up! I wasn’t even that dressed up for my wedding. At dinner they talk about their college experience. They went to the same college! Weird. They talk about their past relationships too. It’s not that interesting. Later, they head over to the church to check out the sound. Then Allen shares some things they have in common as he walks closer to her. He says she has a great laugh. They are about to kiss when ol Kenny interrupts. Thanks Ken! Allen drives her home and walks her to the door. Ahh! Are they going to kiss now? They do! Wow did not see that coming.

When she gets inside, she gets a text from Garret telling her she got the promotion.

The next day, Leah is like hey everything is ready but how was your date! Amber does not tell her ANYTHING. I die for Leah because I know everything and she doesn’t.

Dora shows up for her big performance.

Allen gives the kids a nice pep talk. Amber gives Katie a pep talk. It’s time for the show to start!

Allen kicks off the show. He says they’ve already raised enough money to fund the program for the entire year! Katie kicks off the performances. She nails it. A group of five kids somehow sound like a full choir. So realistic. The string quartet goes next. It’s almost time for Dora. It’s been five years! Dora says she might need a little help.

Allen introduces Dora. Oh, I love her shoes. She gives a nice speech and then asks Amber to join her onstage. Oh, just let Patti sing for Heaven’s sake. Oh she’s just going to play the piano. The pastor loves it. I cannot believe this woman is 75 years old. She gets a standing ovation.

After the concert, Amber says Dora is going to perform every year from now on. Amber shares about her job interview from the day before. She says she got the job. Allen is like, oh I thought you were thinking about moving here. You should just move back here. You have so much here! So much more than a silly old job.

The next day Dora chats with some friends bout the concert from the day before. Amber didn’t sleep at al the night before. But she’ll still play the piano tonight. Dora gives her some advice about work/life balance. Amber decides to take a walk into town.

Allen has Leah and he husaband over for pancakes. Katie is sad that she didn’t get to say goodbye. Allen lets his daughter call Amber.

Amber walks around the Christmas festival sadly.

Allen and Leah’s husband wash dishes and the husband gives him some advice. He tells Allen to fight for Amber. He tries to call her but her battery is dead. He decides to go to the carol event after all. Allen showsup just as Amber is leaving to look for him. Allen apologizes and so does she. Allen decides to tell her how he feels. Amber tells him she turned down the job. Then he’s like, wait you have to take the job you silly goose. Oh brother, she decides to be a freelance journalist. Then they kiss. Dora is so stoked. And that’s it. Let’s see how we did.

• Workaholic who is too busy for Christmas
• Single parent
• Clumsy meet cute
• Christmas Pageant
• Christmas Festival
• Christmas Tree Lighting
• A sassy and wise best friend
• Christmas montage

Total score: 8/20

It’s Beginning to Look A lot Like Christmas premiered on Sunday, December 22 on the Hallmark Channel. I know, I know. I’m behind. But nobody wanted to watch these movies with me over Christmas break, which I found quite surprising because these are the very same idiots that claim to LOVE Hallmark movies. So now here I am after even NEW YEAR’S watching Christmas movies. I started BEFORE Halloween and am still here. Let’s get to it. I’ve got two more of these to write for heaven’s sake!

The mayor of West Riverton, Liam, talks to his parents about the Christmas spirit competition with East Riverton. He’s getting cookies for an employee of a candle company. The competition kicks off with the towns decorating the mayor’s house. He has known the mayor of East Riverton since childhood but he loves the competition.

The mayor of East Riverton, Sarah, is holding DIFFERENT AND BETTER cookies and talks to some pals about the competition. She is a single mom so she already has a leg up. Her son asks what she wants for Christmas. And wait, they run into his dad. Who is now in his third Hallmark movie of the season. He seems to be remarried and they get along just fine? Wow Hallmark. This is your edgiest movie yet.

Liam talks to the President of the Town Council about decorations.

Sarah wears an amazing green dress and talks to her assistant about round 1 of the competition. How much money do the towns put in to all this? Oh, they’re all gunning to be the location of a candle company. They think whoever wins the competition will have a good shot at getting the candle factory. So the factory is most concerned about which town has the most Christmas spirit, which is apparently something you can objectively determine, instead of tax incentives.

Sarah and Liam run into each other at the coffee shop, which is apparently split right now the middle. They even have a sign. And somehow this coffee shop as the “best” fruitcake in the world and both mayors seem to care a lot about this.

Oh, the candle company HOSTS the Christmas Spirit competition. And it is something that TOWNS compete it. 28 towns compete in it. It is not for private citizens to compete. It is for municipalities. That is a little weird, right? Oh! The winning city gets a CANDLE. And a cash prize towards their parks and rec program. Well that’s nice. Hope it offsets the cost of competing.

The mayors talk to the candle employee. They try to bribe him with cookies from their respective towns. He’s like, yay! I love cookies.

Later, Liam’s family has dinner at the local Italian restaurant, Enzo’s. Enzo wasn’t expecting them but he has one table left. He has a famous Christmas Tree shaped pizza. Sarah and her kid show up. So awkward. He can’t seat both of them. Instead of waiting, Sarah is like no we’ll just take it to go. But Liam’s parents insist that they all squeeze into the last remaining table. The parents reminisce about Sarah and Liam’s high school days. Sarah’s son is pretty chatty. And apparently the towns are in constant competition about EVERYTHING. Including Christmas spirit. Sarah’s ex-husband and her son are going to help Liam decorate his house though. Sarah tries to be subtle and wants to talk to Liam about something the next day. He truly has no idea what she’s talking about.

They meet the next morning at the town square because it’s the dividing line of their towns. She doesn’t want her son to be put in the middle of the competition. I feel she could have just called him up after dinner or pulled him aside instead of making such a big show. She is more concerned about her son being in the middle of the mayor competition than being in the middle of a parent conflict. Interesting. They decide to bet on the competition. He wants the losing mayor to host a party in the other’s honor and she suggests a nice dinner. At least they’re not betting money!

It’s mayor house decorating time. This is a pretty convenient town task for the mayors. Justin asks Liam for tips on ideas for a Christmas present for his mom. He thinks it needs to be something a mayor would like. They talk about how Riverton got split into two towns.

Liam talks to the town council president who also assists him with personal Christmas shopping? Seems weird. They’re treating her like an assistant.

At Sarah’s house, she stresses about what Liam’s house looks like. Her assistant is like, we should spy on him. And she’s like oh yeah I’ll just go over and check on Justin and see what his house looks like. Liam is way less subtle and just stares at Sarah’s house with binoculars. Excuse me, they’re birdwatching.

They both catch each other and blame their sidekicks. And they decide to just play fair.

That night, Sarah’s son Justin and her exhusband are leaving Liam’s but the ex-husband has to do some work. Liam offers to take him instead. But first he needs to go shopping for his mom. Liam seems to know his mom pretty well! Liam shares that when there is a big snow storm, they flip a coin to see which town shovels the town square. Why don’t they just take turns?

He drops Justin off at her office. She’s wrapping presents there for some reason.

At home, she is so busy with work, she doesn’t have time to watch a Christmas movie with her son. Why didn’t she just do her present wrapping there and her work at her office? Hello.

At Liam’s house, he has hot chocolate with his parents and the president of the city council.

Sarah notices these cute lit snowmen on her mantle. So the city pays for all her decorations? Must be nice. She’s so stressed about the contest that she goes to the coffee shop to decompress. She eats slice after slice of fruitcake which really bums me out. Liam shows up and starts pounding fruitcake as well. Boy this is the most depressing moment of my life. They decide to tour each other’s houses tomorrow with the judges. And then they shovel more depression cake into their mouths.

Liam freaks over Sarah’s decorations. I can’t believe she just lets all these random people not only know where she lives but INSIDE HER HOUSE. Where her son sleeps. Yikes. Sarah chats with the candle factory employee about the decorations. Her son crushes it, generally.

Now it’s Liam’s turn. Sarah panics. I like Liam’s stuff better. It’s way more Christmasy. OMG. He has GIANT outdoor versions of the snowmen she had on her mantle. Dang.

Later, they meet in town square again. They’re both panicked. Thy reminisce about a Christmas spelling bee when they were 11. What a ridiculous and not real thing. Sarah’s assistant comes running up to tell her that they made it to the second round of the competition. Liam’s NOT assistant made it to the second round also. I realize that Sarah is like 2 feet taller than Liam and 3 feet taller than everyone else.

A sign written in “Comic Sans” font hangs outside a church type building where the East Riverton Christmas carnival is being held.

At West Riverton’s Town Hall, Liam fills his parents in on their plans for the second round. His dad is optimistic. His parents say some nice encouraging things to him.

Sarah storms into the coffee shop. She accuses Liam of stealing her ideas. He booked the string quartet she used last year at the pageant. The coffee shop owner can’t take their whisper arguing so she takes them into her storage room and wants them to hash out their arguments. Oh they’re locked in. Oh she leaves them in there for a while with the help of their assistants.

Inside the storage room, they start decorating a Christmas tree that’s in there for some reason? Liam mentions that her son thinks they’re friends. Could they ever be friends?!! They’re rivals for heavens sake! They have a heart to heart about their jobs and work/life balance. The coffee shop owner finally lets them out and they decide to spy on the other towns together.

They head to Dover Lake, the town that won three years in a row. They’re sitting on a bench reading newspapers. They are truly terribly at spying. But they’re having a great time.

Later, she shops with her assistant. She tells her assistant that she has more in common with Liam than she thought. Her assistant is like, oh do you LIIIIIIKE him? And she’s like, that is an inappropriate conversation for work. Now keep helping me with my personal shopping!

Later, Liam walks around with Sarah’s ex-husband, Frank. They talk about his competitive relationship with Sarah. Frank says that he’s proposing to his girlfriend Linda soon. Frank thinks maybe Sarah could be the one for Liam.

Later, Liam brings Justin home for Sarah again. She’s making cookies. Justin wants to help but he has Spanish homework. Liam offers to help her bake. Sarah is just so breezy about her ex-husband getting engaged. Neither of them are dating each anyone. They have a moment.

Wow, Liam is like, an amazing cookie decorator. Truly, the best of all the ones they hold up. I would pay $2 for that cookie.

Back at the Comic Sans Christmas Carnival, Sarah is dressed as Mrs. Claus and people are walking around singing. Liam stops by.

Sarah’s assistant wants to talk about her personal life again.

Later, at the other Riverton’s carnival, LIam is dressed as Santa Claus. Sarah stops by and tries not to laugh. They put on a little show and Sarah has a front row seat. Liam reads the Night Before Christmas.

The candle company guy announces which town is making it to the final round. The towns now have to each put on a Christmas party . They both made it to the final round! They hug. The candle employee takes a picture of them. WHY IS SHE SO TALL. I looked them up on IMDB and they are supposed to be a half inch apart and she just TOWERS over him.

The next morning at the coffee shop, Liam and the city council president brainstorm about the party.

The two mayors meet at town square again and Sarah wears a great green coat. Neither of them know what to do about the final round. They don’t have any good ideas. They both share that they like talking to each other about ideas.

They all go to Enzo’s. They tell Enzo that Dover Lake is having FIREWORKS. They can’t compete with fireworks. They decide to have a big potluck party.

They share the idea with the towns. They all love it. They will have two separate events so they can still compete but everyone should go to both!

It’s party set up time. The assistants decide to include recipe cards for all the potluck recipes. Love it. They all work together to get ovens fixed and get everything set up. Sarah says, this is what we can accomplish if we stop with this silly rivalry. They all try to keep their brains from exploding.

Later, Liam takes Justin shopping again. They finally come up with a good idea for a present for Sarah. Why doesn’t he make her a macaroni necklace?

Later, Justin tells Sarah he is staying at his dad’s tonight. Justin gives her some tips on what to buy Liam for Christmas.

It’s party time and they are both very wowed by how they each look. Duh. They both say how much they’ve loved working with each other. They are both pulled away by mayor duties. Liam says they should both be proud of what they’ve accomplished.

Later, they have a candlelight moment with everyone. They each give speeches.

Later, Liam chugs hot chocolate on the EAST RIVERTON side of the coffee shop. Liam says Maureen left so he was going to close up for her. They wonder if they did enough to top Dover Lake’s fireworks show. Sarah shares that if they don’t win, she is not sure she would stay on as mayor which is truly an insane reason to stop being the mayor.

The next day, they wait to meet with John, the candle store employee. They have a BIT OF A SITUATION. They have a THREE WAY TIE. This has NEVER happened in 50 YEARS. In the event of a tie, ol John has to cast the tie breaking vote.

Back in Sarah’s office, Sarah sees the photo John emailed of her and Liam hugging. She calls him.

In Liam’s office, he calls John too. What could they possibly have to say to him I wonder.

They meet at the coffee shop again. Must be too cold to meet in the town square. Liam shares that he called John but that Sarah should trust him. Sarah says she also talked to John. So he needs to trust her too. They both feel betrayed I think?

The next day, Justin shovels Liam’s walkway. For some reason, Liam’s dad is there. Wait, does he live with his parents as a single man in his forties? His dad gives him some nice dad advice.

Later, Sarah has a heart to heart with her ex-husband. Apparently, them not working out is not her fault. WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM!

They get a phone call. John has made his decision!! He calls them both to meet someplace. They both have something they want to say. Liam shares that Sarah makes him a better person. He says he needs her. She says, oh you did it again. You took my idea. John arrives. The two assistants come running in because the mayors just HAVE TO SEE THIS. The two towns are celebrating. Both towns wanted to come to their shared town square and celebrate Christmas together. The candle employee who is just holding both these towns together, decides to make his announcement to the whole group. It turns out that Sarah pitched that Liam should win and Liam said Sarah should win. And John voted for just “Riverton” and presents them with a fruitcake candle. They’re going to put the distribution center there too. Wait, right in the middle of town or are the towns going to merge? And don’t they have to vote or you know, like some paperwork? Sarah is like, you’re the man. You should be in charge. And he’s like, no, you’re taller than me you should do it. And then Sarah is like, no actually this is America so they do actually need to vote for this one. And then they kiss! No one cares. Oh good, Justin interrupts them. That’s not awkward. And then we never see what he picked for his mom! Oh well, it’s over. Let’s see how we did.

• Single parent
• Christmas Contest
• Christmas Festival AND Party
• Christmas Baking
• Christmas puns
• A sassy and wise best friend
• Christmas montage

Total score: 7/20

A busy business woman chats with someone on the phone, her sister, They are planning a party. She is in the elevator with fancy suit guy but is too afraid to say anything. A senior executive position might be open! Her coworker says happy Hanukkah to her.

Oh she asks Chris if he was born in a barn. She asks him for the scoop on Vanessa. Chris was in way earlier than her but Rebecca should get the promotion? They’re competing for it. They ge called to the conference room. Not here to make friends. That’s what all the terrible people on the bachelor say. Vanessa always planned the holiday parties. So now they have to do it. The party is so much more important than the Jensen account. They need to show him why he should want to work with them. The best way to do that is a holiday party of course.

They fight about who should take the lead on the party. Yep. Don’t do ny actual work! Just plan this party. They’re sure the party planning is mostly done though since the party is a week a way. You would think…

They go to Jane’s house, where the party will be held and there isn’t any Christmas decor or anything ready for the party. Rebecca thinks that Vanessa knew she was leaving and purposely didn’t plan the party.

Rebecca’s sister calls and says she can’t come early and help because the costumes at this children’s pageant are ALL WRONG. Rebecca grumbles to her friend over coffee about her new assignment. And apparently, Jane, her boss, doesn’t know her name.

At work, Rebecca tells Chris her idea for the party. “White Christmas” and she describes the Winter Wonderland theme all the other movies did this year. At least this year they can re use the props. Rebecca says she has to go because it’s the first night of Hanukkah. Chris says he doesn’t know anything about Hanukkah. Rebecca uses a cellphone battery analogy to describe it. Chris is obtuse. Fancy suit guy comes in the elevator with them. After they get off, she tells Chris about the nickname.

Rebecca is frantically cooking and Chris stops by. He left his cellphone at work with questions about work. He starts to help her cook…latkes? Oh her house has cute Hanukkah decorations. She tells him more abut Hanukkah. The sister arrives and is like dang girl who is that. The rest of the family starts arriving. The mom is like daaaaang girl. Ha. He hears them saw, awful Chris? The mom is like no he can’t leave. We have to feed him. Rebecca is like, you’re not staying. Chris is like, no I’m staying. She’s like okay but you have to only remember of me as a consummate professional.

At dinner, the family invites him to spend every Hanukkah evening with them.

The next day, old dudes play basketball with little kids. Oh, they play in the morning. What about the gingerbread houses Chris?? Where even are they His bro is like are you working through the holidays? Chris is like yeah, I have a regular job. So I don’t get a two week break.

Rebecca is waiting at Jane’s house with bags and bags of decorations. Chris arrives. He says Jane isn’t there, she’s on a business trip. He knows because she called him. Her friend is like no you can’t split up and decorate because he can’t take credit for anything. So crazy. He’s like okay I’m going to get a tree. And so then Rebecca just lets the crazy overtake her and says she’s going along. Chris is like, I’m so stoked about Hanukkah tonight. Rebecca is like no you’re not coming? Chris is like no I cancelled a bunch of stuff for this.

At the tree lot, Rebecca is like, I’ve never picked out a tree before. They all look the same. She jokingly asks him to help her pick out the perfect Christmas tree. He mansplains trees to her. Oh, he used to work at a Christmas tree lot as a kid. He tells her about how he came to have the career he has. Hmmm. It doesn’t seem like Chris loves his job. But he’s very excited about the project they’re working on-building a youth center. Rebecca says she loves seeing an open space become a building.

Rebecca suggests they go big with their white Christmas theme. Everyone should wear white too! Chris is like, that seems dumb. She’s like, I’m right about this. But you were right about the tree. Chris is like, you’re not good at decorating a tree. She’s like, I have to leave now to help my sister. Chris is like, cool I’ll see you there.

They sing Hanukkah songs and eat dinner. They have a Christmas tree in their house! But everything is blue and white. Oh, the sister’s husband celebrates Christmas. They all pick charities to donate to? Or volunteer at? I am not sure. The dad suggests they all volunteer at the youth center, which was Chris’s suggestion. Chris is all in on the dreidel game. He won! They walk home or down the street. Chris like I love your family. I always wanted a big crazy family. He shares that his dad died when he was 9. It was just him and his mom after that. They cook together a lot. Oh that’s how you made those latkes. He’s like, they were better than your sister’s right? Yes they were. Chris is like, you’re different around your family. He likes this Rebecca better.

Jane calls. She’s confused. The decorations are beautiful. But she wants the decorations to say “These are my people.” They say, oh that is just phase one! You’ll be blown away by phase 2.

Rebecca is chatting with her friend. She shares that Jane does not like the party theme and they already spent the entire decorating budget. She says things are going great with Chris. They go down to get coffee and she fancy suit guy. She panics. Chris makes her bump into him. Oh it’s James from Cheerful Christmas. His name is Spencer now and he’s a lawyer and not British anymore. Nice wingman work Chris. They chat a little.

At Jane’s, she stresses about the party look. Chris gives her advice. And he gives her some insight into herself. They have a nice moment. They talk about her family and she has a great idea. We don’t get to hear what it is.

That night, her nephew is in a show. He’s wonderfully terrible in it. Rebecca wonders what they’ll do with the decorations after the show? The sister says she can have it.

The next morning, they plan their pitch for Jane. Chris lets Rebecca make the pitch herself since it was her idea. She gives a heartfelt speech and wants to throw a family celebration. Let’s show them that we value the same things. Jane is like, wow, you’re so good at planning a party, this proves to me that you should do more project managing for property development!

She sees Spencer in in the elevator and he invites her to get a coffee. She only has 6 minutes though. He’s like, 6 minutes! That’s perfect for a lawyer. They get to know each other. His family is all the way up in Albany so he hasn’t seen him in 7 years. What? That’s like not that far. Oops! Time’s up. Spencer asks for her number. Chris looks like this makes him feel a certain way.

They head to the house to redecorate everything. They are going to make a Santa’s village and have other stations. But oh no, the cookie person cancelled and so now they need to find another way to make 300 cookies. Rebecca says she will handle it. She and Chris stress about whether they will make it to volunteer that night with her family. Rebecca tells Chris he just HAS to be there.

Rebecca meets her family for the volunteer night at the youth center. There is some kind of ice skating event indoors which is SUPER EASY to arrange on a temporary basis so don’t worry about that. Also, they’re all walking around on the ice in their regular shoes no problem. Rebecca is manning a hot chocolate stand, which is again, all set up on the ice. Chris makes it! Oh good. He introduces his “little brother” Kirby to her. Then, Mr. Jensen, of the “Jensen” account, makes a speech. He tells the basic premise of the movie “Joy” as his mother’s own backstory, which is based on a real person who invented some kind of “as seen on TV” mop. Chris invites Rebecca to skate and they chat about their life. Then Chris discovers that Rebecca plans to make 300 cookies that night for the party. He offers to help.

After the presentation, Rebecca and Chris accost him and tell him all their ideas for the youth center. He seems overwhelmed with the information. They think perhaps they’ve blown it.

That night, they make cookies together. Rebecca tries to make dinosaur shapes and Chris is horrified. Dinosaur cookies can’t be CHRISTMAS cookies for heaven’s sake. My boys would disagree.

The next morning, Spencer is waiting with coffee for Rebecca. She actually has 15 whole minutes to chat! Rebecca realizes that he is probably not the one for her. He just wants to make partner. He doesn’t care about any holidays or being with family. So he didn’t learn any lessons from “Cheerful Christmas.”

She goes up to work and realizes Chris has had a meeting with JENSEN without her. Oh that is nefarious. She thought they were making such a great team. Then she runs into Spencer again and he’s like, will you save a dance for me at the party? She’s like, oh well it’s not a dancing party but sure.

She goes over to the youth center and sees him making ornaments with his “little brother”. She is like, hey what’s your deal CHRIS. He’s like, oh shoot. I tried to call you…but not on a phone so you probably didn’t get it. I am actually not thrilled abut his explanation. He was there playing basketball and Jane called HIM early to talk to Jensen and he was already there shooting hoops so it was just the only way to talk to Jensen. They end up working it all out.

I must have missed something but later, they are at Rebecca’s house working or something? I’m not sure. But then her family shows up to bring Hanukkah to her. Because she was just going to skip out or something?

Rebecca and her sister are chatting in the kitchen. She is asking her about Chris. Rebecca is like, I want this promotion so bad that I am only focusing on that right now. Chris and I will NEVER happen. Chris overhears and seems super bummed. But after he leaves, she does admit to her sister that she likes him. So darn it.

The next day it is party day. They are bustling about getting everything ready. Chris is kind of cold to her. She doesn’t really know what that’s al about. Jane panics about having children in her house. And then Jane says, is that what you’re wearing Rebecca? Why don’t you at least run a comb through your hair. Rebecca heads upstairs to get ready and Chris says he’s waiting for his guest to arrive. Oh who could that guest be?

Upstairs, Rebecca and her friend/coworker get ready together. They chat about, what else? Chris. Rebecca says she is so torn because she wants Chris to get the promotion but she also wants it. What is that about? Love, says the friend. I mean, I guess.

Rebecca walks down the stairs and they have that “oh you look much better all dressed up” moment with each other. Then Chris heads outside to get “his guest.”

Rebecca sees not British Spencer and he asks her to dance. She’s like, dude no one is dancing? This is a black tie kid party. Rebecca is saved by her panicked boss Jane, who senses the presence of children and can’t deal. Rebecca’s family has arrived as well. She tells them there is cookie decorating in the other room. I hope there aren’t any dinosaur cookies!! They are also decorating gingerbread houses. SO FUN. Jane panics more. Jensen arrives and Jane and Rebecca give him a nice speech about their company and family.

Chris asks everyone to gather in the living room for an announcement. He says he wants to celebrate another holiday besides Christmas. What else is there besides Christmas?! He brings out his special guest, Kirby. Rebecca lights the candles while everyone sings. Chris and Rebecca look adoringly at each other.

Jensen tells Jane he wants to hire their company. Jane says she can’t figure out who to make VP but Jensen has an idea for her. WHAT IS IT JENSEN!!

Spencer approaches Rebecca and he says he knows what’s up. They have a nice goodbye moment and he goes back to being a minor British royal.

Chris and Rebecca have a moment. Chris is like, you thought I brought a girl. You totally like me. Then Jane calls them over.

Rebecca and Chris fight over who is more deserving of the promotion to Jane and Jensen. They both want each other to have the job. Jane is like, ladies, just chill. Jensen shares that they got the account or whatever you would call that. And then Jane says that Rebecca gets the promotion. BUT Jensen needs a VP to oversee all these new rec centers or whatever they’re building. Would Chris like to come work for him instead? Oh yes, he would. And Jane is apparently fine with being down an employee. Now let’s go back to enjoying the party y’all. Nothing like finding out you got a new job in the middle of a party.

Chris and Rebecca hug and he picks her up. Then, they have a nice moment talking about their week together. What about fancy suit guy? No. It turns out he is a cold, wet sandwich. That’s not what she wants. All she wants is CHRIS. Well that came out of nowhere. Oh and she wants to create traditions together with him. That’s nice. And then THEY KISS.

They play the dreidel game again? And then they kiss AGAIN. And that’s it. Let’s see how we did.

• Christmas Gala
• Christmas Baking
• Winter Athletics
• Someone not working in their dream job
• A sassy best friend

Cheerful Christmas premiered on Sunday, December 15 on the Hallmark Channel.

Two gals, Lauren and Colleen, chat about a client wanting snow on Christmas. How can they deliver that to them? So are they decorators or… No. Wait they’re Christmas coaches? This is a full time job?!!! No no no. This is not a real job. It is not a sustainable way to make a living and no one is paying for a Christmas coach. Ironically, I do remember ANOTHER movie from a few years ago where a family hired a Christmas coach. But still. This is one of those things that only exists in Hallmark land.

Colleen gets a call. THE ANDERSONS want to hire them. You know, the Andersons, who are 53rd in line for the British throne and live in the US? They apparently need a Christmas Coach. Colleen shows a really ridiculous picture of our lead and their future client.

Back at home, Lauren video chats with her dad  He is not sure if he is coming home for Christmas because He’s too busy with charity. And she certainly can’t go to him..what with all her Christmas coaching. It used to be her mom’s charity but she died so now he’s running it.

The girls drive to the Anderson’s house. Lauren is like hey I read that article you sent me. You’re right! They are rich royals who now do business things! This is great. They are greeted at the door by a house keeper. The elder Andersons are not there but they left a list of stuff for them to do.

Oh no. Not a list! That’s not how they work. They want to come alongside their clients and spend Christmas with them. Here is an actual example of what people pay for-the girls suggested they MAKE shortbread instead of buying it. THAT’S HOW THEY COACH PEOPLE TO BE BETTER(?) AT CHRISTMAS. I don’t know that I can bear this movie. Truly.

There are a few rules in addition to the list. No decorating in the bedrooms or James’ (the son) office.

The girls split up to check out the house. Lauren walks into the dining room and envisions it all decorated. Is she magic? James sneaks up on her. He asks to see the list his parents came up with. He’s like, this is a great list. But Lauren wants to make more suggestions. He’s like nah, just stick to the list.

Back home, the girls decorate cookies with Colleen’s mom. Lauren grumbles and says how handsome James is. Colleen’s mom suggests they try again to get James more willing to be coached into having Christmas sprit. Honestly, do I have to keep doing this?

At the Andersons, James is drinking coffee and chatting with the house keeper in the morning. But James has no time for breakfast. He’s living in this massive empty house while he’s building his own house. If he just has his office built he’ll be fine. HE LOVES to work. Joyce, the housekeeper says she doesn’t see why the office is off limits to decorating. Then he gets a call. Joyce gives him a plate of pancakes anyway.

The girls show up to decorate. They have BINS upon BINS. Where did that decor come from? They are making a lot of noise and it is bothering James. Lauren is like, oh you’re working? But it’s such a lovely day. You should only work on days that have bad weather.

She tries to get him to help. He rolls his eyes hard. I do too. Did Lauen take some drugs before coming over? Colleen calls and says they got two more clients. WHAT! How?! How is Christmas coaching a thing. I know it’s not. It’s not!

Lauren agrees to do the Anderson’s alone. Joyce comes outside and is like oh you’ve done so much work. But… she only wrapped garland around two posts outside.

Lauren asks Joyce about how they used to celebrate. They used to go ALL OUT. See? Here’s a pic of James building a snowman? If that isn’t going all out, I don’t know what is. Joyce with the photographic memory also knows they got a tree. Any other tradition was left behind in England.

Later, Lauren is still working on that garland around the post.

Maryam, a no nonsense British(?) business person arrives. Then Lauren calls herself a career professional and shares a weirdly sexist comment that Colleen’s mom said.

Maryam and James have a no nonsense business meeting 

Maryam is clearly into James and wait, is she or isn’t she British? Or is she supposed to be British? She says, shall we have a few too many ciders? Oh yikes. Maryam, have some respect for yourself. Also, she’s definitely British (accent or not) because she says “shall.”

James and Maryam step outside and stands on a doormat and jingle bells plays. James is like oh this is really annoying. I don’t like this. And I’m a business person so I REALLY Don’t like this. Lauren becomes unhinged suggesting other options. James is like, can you chill? Also, I guess I likes Deck the Halls.

That night the girls string popcorn and cranberry and chat. Lauren says James lost his Christmas spirit. Ugh.

The next day, Lauren puts some Christmas decor in his office. That is supposed to be off limits!

She sees him on the stairs and asks his opinion about decor. Berries or bows? COME ON JAMES! How could you NOT have an opinion on this issue. Instead of saying, “I truly don’t care, pick whichever decorations are cheaper” He says berries and then says no. They always had bows. Wow. She is getting him to Reminisce and feel those nostalgic Christmas feels. Can’t put a price on that. But they can certainly work within your “Christmas Coach” budget.

James notices Christmas decor in his office and asks Joyce about it. He briefly turns into “The Beast” from Beauty and the Beast and rips his office apart. Joyce, who might be one of those long thin fancy teapots if she were to be turned into a house hold item, says he should thank her for disregarding the instructions and his privacy by placing a plant and a musical Santa in his office.

Lauren sees an old family picture downstairs. Then she tells James that “Point setty’s” are plants not flowers. Is Lauren drunk? She tells James she’s going to build a snowman during her break. Oh she’s trying to coach him into memory making. Instead, they stand there in silence.

Later, he sees her out the window.  He talks to his dad about Maryam and he says they’re just friends.  

Then, James goes outside and has a hat box. It is a tradition that the snowman wear his grandpas hat. Lauren is like no you have to place the hat upon his head. James says the snowman needs a scarf and a shovel instead of a broom. Why doesn’t he just make another one. It’s SO FUN after all. Guess what, as an adult? No it is not. It is backbreaking work that at once makes you miserably cold, wet and sweaty. So no, let’s not make a second one. Besides, he’s far too busy to make a second one.

James finally agrees if there is not snowball fight. Oh dear, is he in jeans? No, those are the wrong clothes for snowman building. Why, that’s the very shovel he used to shovel the walk as a boy. You’re telling me that shovel is 20+ years old? James names the snowman after his grandpa, William. I’m sure his grandpa would be SO TOUCHED. Oh the girl is Kate. Well that is so clever.

Joyce brings hot chocolate out. Why don’t they take a break? She made a fire. Lauren likes to eat hot chocolate outside. Again, is she drunk?

James asks how she has such a ridiculous job. Lauren talks about her mom’s charity that her dad runs. It’s called Holiday Hearts. Hey wait a minute. Also, do they only do things around the holidays?

James has that important business call now. Toodles!

The next day Lauren says she has an idea for the party venue and also gift shopping.

We see a quick shot of people playing polo.

Lauren is gift shoppingand wants to video chat with James. How on earth can she just like shop for people she doesn’t know? James agrees to meet her. Maryam hought he didn’t need to do anything if he hired her. Same, girl. Also she is not even trying to be British.

Lauren holds up a tiny figure skate decoration. James is like oh I should get that for my mom. She’ll love this cheap looking tiny Christmas decoration. I Actually I have something similar except it’s the set, it’s bigger and it lights up. So it’s way better. Also, not a Christmas gift.

What about Joyce? Kitchen supplies? No. How rude. Why don’t you just give her a vacuum? Dude I’d love kitchen supplies or a nice vacuum so what is she talking about? I ALSO WOULDN’T MIND A PELOTON. Just putting it out there so no one feels like I should be offended if I were to receive such an item.

They decide to get her…family? And so, like how does that work exactly? Adopt a child for her? Arrange a marriage?

Outside, Lauren starts three sentences in a row with the phrase “You know”.

Well, that was fun but James can’t deliver these gifts. He has Polo practice. But it’s a charity thing so don’t think I’m weird okay? All of us British people get together and play Polo in the winter here in the colonies for CHARITY. But why don’t I have my work assistant do some personal work for me and wrap all these? Lauren is like no no no. What on earth would you be paying me for if I didn’t wrap your Christmas presents for you? And of course, wrapping is Lauren’s specialty. I think we all know that it’s not mine.

Inside their office, Colleen says she hasn’t seen Lauren so excited about a client. Is she? It is hard to tell whether it is just the alcohol and/or drugs talking. These girls are truly so terrible. And Lauren needs a different hair style. I saw a picture of this actress online and she had this super flattering, long hair style and she’s like this limp curl situation going on and it is just not great.

At the office, James wants to decorate the boardroom with Christmas stuff. His assistant Kelly is like okay let me get some stuff together. And James is like, oh no not necessary. And then he takes the only two festive items off of poor Kelly’s desk to decorate the boardroom. She weeps silently at her desk.

Lauren comes by the office. She sees James handing all his employees candy canes as they leave the meeting. There is getting in the Christmas spirit and then there is becoming unhinged. James is dangerously near to that breaking point.

Lauren is here to get a Christmas tree with James. She has an appointment. Remember, Kelly? And then Kelly points to a blank appointment book page to show how it’s written down. So, I’d like to see a movie about Kelly and I hope she finds love.

They head to the tree lot and the snow is THIGH HIGH. What in the world. James shares that they stopped having a tree at home since they had a big party instead. Yeah, that makes sense!! James always said his favorite tradition was how his uncle would put envelopes of cash just for him in the Christmas tree.

Lauren used to sing carols at the nursing home with her dad. This reminds me how my mom and aunt used to make my siblings and cousins and I put on little concerts at our local nursing home. I tell you what, those residents got what they paid for. Nothing like hearing Hot Cross Buns 6 times on the recorder to really liven your spirits.

Then James picks out a dumb tree. It’s got way too much silliness on top. They’re going to have to cut like a foot of that nonsense off the top. Also, is he wearing jeans again? Lauren tries to toss him the saw and trips and he catches her. Oh what a magic moment.

The next morning, the fridge is out at the Anderson manor so Joyce has to bake before all the perishables go to waste. I don’t see any perishables on the counter but I do see a BUNCH of Tupperware containers.

Joyce sends them to the attic for Christmas tree ornaments.

Up in the attic, James shares that his family all seemed to just grow out of doing a lot of Christmas things. Does Lauren have a cold or something? Okay, in this attic there is a pile of at least four tree stands. Why on earth.

Downstairs, they begin decorating the fakest looking fake tree I have ever seen in a Hallmark movie and never have I noticed more that that is NOT the tree they picked.

Not even trying to be British Maryam walks in and she wants to celebrate closing the Lifton (?) deal. Ew she says bubbly. James is like oh well I’m kind of in the middle of this tree decorating business. Maryam is like, isn’t that what you pay Lauren for? Yes, isn’t it??? Doesn’t she have a coworker? Oh, well here’s the thing Maryam. Colleen is gravy sampling… so she can’t help.

Maryam is SO AGGRESSIVE. She says okay well I am going to accompany you to your Christmas party James so we can DRINK ALCOHOL TOGETHER. James is like okay but you can drink on your own time also.

Lauren hands him the star to put on top before any lights are on and only a handful of ornaments have been placed. You sure know your way around a tree Lauren!.

James shares that he’s a little sad that Dean Lifton lost his business. He worked so hard and then he put it up for sale and James bought it. But still, I guess.

The finishing touch on the super fake tree is a big ol bow. Looks great guys. It is now dark. How long have they been decorating? They go to the kitchen to see Christmas cookies just set out. Joyce didn’t cover them or anything. Lauren is like wait, we need to toast. I think there’s some eggnog in the fridge. Pass. She goes to the fridge and James bites into his super crunchy cookie. Lauren shares that she and Colleen and her toast every day. Do they have a little bit o f a problem maybe?

James can’t swallow that dry crunchy cookie in time and Lauren catches him. Lauren calls him uptight and he is shocked at this description of himself. Joyce comes in and she’s like you can’t eat these. I only made like ten cookies and they’re for something else. They scamper out and Lauren discovers that James sneaked two cookies.

I am so bummed at how crunchy these cookies sound. Lauren says that tomorrow is gift giving day for some reason. Joyce catches them again sittin on the stairs. Probably because the crunch sound was so loud it could be heard next door.

James gets up and says he’s so busy with phone calls and acquisitions. That’s great.

The next day, the Christmas coaches pound more hot chocolate at their HQ. Lauren is thinking of making the party smaller at the Anderson’s house.

Then Lauren goes to James’ office to give Kelly her gift. Lauren is surprised that James is there on a work day. Kelly loves the donation made in her name to the Human fund.

James decides he wants to deliver all the gifts to everyone. We don’t see ANY of that.
Later, he says he loved delivering all the gifts. Lauren says they’re going to carry out on his family traditions! Starting with ice skating! Look, Joyce dug these out for us. Then here is like the 50th thing Hallmark says is like riding a bike. I just don’t think it is.

Lauren makes a thermos of big chocolate.

Oh sad, are they both using figure skates?

Lauren goes ooking for Joyce and sees a room she’s never noticed before. She freaks. Joyce approaches. Is this like a ballroom? Lauren wonders. Joyce tells Lauren she’s so glad James is going ice skating. He has so little joy in life, what with being mega wealthy and being part of the royal family. Though they were seemingly exiled to the US.

Lauren visualizes the decorations in the room. HahahahhahHha its just a bunch of balloons. GOOD JOB LAUREN. She imagines dancing with James. James approaches and is weirded out by her standing there with her eyes closed. The she fixes his scarf.

They go to a really cool….like irrigation canal that is frozen over for skating. Where is this? James asks if she’s this hand on with all her clients. Yes, honestly what else is she doing?

Then he takes her hand while they skate. She tells him about other things she does with her clients and well, THEY ARE ALL DUMB THINGS YOU WOULDNT PAY PEOPLE FOR.

James asks, What is her Christmas wish? A Peloton. Oh, no that’s me again. No, she wants her dad to spend more time with her. Why doesn’t she go there? I don’t get it. Then she suggests an idea for his business. But he explains that’s not what they do. They acquire businesses.

Then they quote the Santa clause. Believing is seeing. I do think it is the best Christmas movie but I am annoyed that we have that opinion in common. They decide they’re going to watch all three Santa clauses that day. FUN. But no, for real that actually does sound fun.

They go back to the house and James says he likes the mat and all the Christmas stuff. They stare at each other. Then, Lauren says she’s going to get the popcorn. Lauren spends 3 hours making the popcorn and dying it red and green. Unsurprisingly, James disappears. Oh, hee’s in the ballroom reminiscing. Then they dance to no music. Wait, what about the Santa Clause movies and that gross popcorn? Oh now they have a moment and he invites her to the charity polo thing. Then they do the SLOWEST lead in to a kiss and his phone rings. He has to take it because it’s Maryam. She leaves. No movies after all I guess!

I do love how Lauren’s house is decorated. It’s very cute. She video chats with Colleen. How many people in real life video chat that much?
She says the day was fine. She is sad about James because he seems pretty set with ol not British Maryam.
What does that sign say on her wall? Happy nest?

It’s Polo time! Not British Maryam has super intense eyebrows. James talks to Maryam about his new approach for the Lifton company. She’s not stoked on it. The way she described it I’m not either.
In the crowd, Lauren wears an unflattering hat. She cheers like its a football game but apparently it’s more like golf cheering? Wait now they’re all cheering.

Now they are at the house but it’s not the Christmas party. It’s a different fundraising party. What? Did Lauren plan this one too?
Oooooh Lauren waves and Maryam sees this and steals James away.
Then a guy hands her an empty cup. To be fair, she is wildly UNDER dressed.
Colleen gives her a pep talk. She says, who’s the one making the difference here? Wait, is the answer supposed to be Lauren?How is it her? She has one of the silliest jobs in the whole world. Lauren decides tot go back to James’ to…tell him how she feels I think?

Back at James house, Maryam seems like she’s leaving. She is so snarky and condescending. And then she introduces Lauren to the parents who hired her. They love what she’s done at the house. Lauren suggests having the party at the ballroom. She’s like, well actually you don’t have a choice because I sent out evites to all the guests and got everything set for here. All without asking you guys first!! Thank goodness for Lauren, they’re in. Boy Maryam is just like WORKING SO HARD. She’s like well that will be easier for me since James and I are going to the party together.

Lauren is sad and leaves. Wait, I thought it was night time. What day is it? What time is it? Lauren cries in her car. Maryam seems to take joy in this and walks rigidly to her own car.

James comes down stairs and talks to his parents about the party and Lifton deal. His dad is on board with the new approach there too. What breezy parents he has.

The sign outside the girls’ office is stupid. Inside, they are decorating a tree. Lauren is bummed about James and Maryam. Colleen suggests they toast to all the work she ‘s done but she’s too sad.

Back at home she drinks hit chocolate our of a Santa mug
Calls her dad but he doesn’t answer. Too busy with that nondescript charity!

At James house she’s all glammed up and thank goodness they didn’t go with the ballon theme from her dreams. James is like, are you coming to the party? She’s like duh I’m all dressed up you idiot.

It’s party time! Oh, good there are balloons. Maryam finds James andShe’s like let’s get drunk. The ONLY WAY to celebrate this acquisition is with alcohol. He’s like, pass. Also do you have a problem?

Then, Lauren makes a speech. She asks everyone to put the envelopes they brought in the tree. But she says, James these are not envelopes of money for you. They’re for charity. James and his parents love it. They’re so touched. Maryam is back again like I need a drink! Let’s dance! James is like, we need to get you some help.
Lauren is like well, I’m all done so I’m going to leave. Joyce, you can clean all this up right?

On the dance floor, Maryam lays it all out for James. She wants to be more than friends. Oh does she? I hadn’t noticed. He’s like nah we’re great friends. Are they? She kind of seems like the WORST.
Then she meets Peter, James obnoxious cousin. And they seem perfect together because she knows about sports. She even used the phrase “two point conversion” so… she’s real into it.

James catches Lauren about to leave and he tells her he’s donating to her mom’s charity. Oh that’s so nice! Okay bye. She leaves and he’s like okay thanks for everything! I had a great Christmas! HAGS!

The next day (?) The girls hang stockings and plan a Santa clause marathon. Again, it sounds fun but I don’t want to hang out with them.
James gives Joyce a present. He gives her.. what? Oh a flight home to see her sister that leaves in six hours! Cool! A Red Eye Christmas Eve flight. James you are just TOO kind. Joyce tells him that she thinks Lauren thought he was with Maryam. Oh dear, really? Oh James, you truly are an idiot.

At Colleen’s parents, The girls do charades with Colleens family. The doorbell rings. It’s her dad! He was able to get some help so he could come for Christmas! Then James arrives. He played a role in orchestrating this. Lauren is like, how did you find my dad?!! He’s like, well it’s 2019 so it’s SUPER easy? Then he says that shee’s made his Christmas special. She kisses him. It’s snowing so they go out and stand in it. Whew. Glad that’s over with. Let’s see how we scored.

• Workaholic too busy for Christmas
• Christmas Gala
• Christmas baking
• Winter athletics
• Christmas puns
• an alleged sassy and wise best friend (though I found Colleen to be neither sassy nor wise)

Total score: 6/20

Cheerful Christmas premiered on Sunday, December 15 on the Hallmark Channel.

Two gals, Lauren and Colleen, chat about a client wanting snow on Christmas. How can they deliver that to them? So are they decorators or… No. Wait they’re Christmas coaches? This is a full time job?!!! No no no. This is not a real job. It is not a sustainable way to make a living and no one is paying for a Christmas coach. Ironically, I do remember ANOTHER movie from a few years ago where a family hired a Christmas coach. But still. This is one of those things that only exists in Hallmark land.

Colleen gets a call. THE ANDERSONS want to hire them. You know, the Andersons, who are 53rd in line for the British throne and live in the US? They apparently need a Christmas Coach. Colleen shows a really ridiculous picture of our lead and their future client.

Back at home, Lauren video chats with her dad  He is not sure if he is coming home for Christmas because He’s too busy with charity. And she certainly can’t go to him..what with all her Christmas coaching. It used to be her mom’s charity but she died so now he’s running it.

The girls drive to the Anderson’s house. Lauren is like hey I read that article you sent me. You’re right! They are rich royals who now do business things! This is great. They are greeted at the door by a house keeper. The elder Andersons are not there but they left a list of stuff for them to do.

Oh no. Not a list! That’s not how they work. They want to come alongside their clients and spend Christmas with them. Here is an actual example of what people pay for-the girls suggested they MAKE shortbread instead of buying it. THAT’S HOW THEY COACH PEOPLE TO BE BETTER(?) AT CHRISTMAS. I don’t know that I can bear this movie. Truly.

There are a few rules in addition to the list. No decorating in the bedrooms or James’ (the son) office.

The girls split up to check out the house. Lauren walks into the dining room and envisions it all decorated. Is she magic? James sneaks up on her. He asks to see the list his parents came up with. He’s like, this is a great list. But Lauren wants to make more suggestions. He’s like nah, just stick to the list.

Back home, the girls decorate cookies with Colleen’s mom. Lauren grumbles and says how handsome James is. Colleen’s mom suggests they try again to get James more willing to be coached into having Christmas sprit. Honestly, do I have to keep doing this?

At the Andersons, James is drinking coffee and chatting with the house keeper in the morning. But James has no time for breakfast. He’s living in this massive empty house while he’s building his own house. If he just has his office built he’ll be fine. HE LOVES to work. Joyce, the housekeeper says she doesn’t see why the office is off limits to decorating. Then he gets a call. Joyce gives him a plate of pancakes anyway.

The girls show up to decorate. They have BINS upon BINS. Where did that decor come from? They are making a lot of noise and it is bothering James. Lauren is like, oh you’re working? But it’s such a lovely day. You should only work on days that have bad weather.

She tries to get him to help. He rolls his eyes hard. I do too. Did Lauen take some drugs before coming over? Colleen calls and says they got two more clients. WHAT! How?! How is Christmas coaching a thing. I know it’s not. It’s not!

Lauren agrees to do the Anderson’s alone. Joyce comes outside and is like oh you’ve done so much work. But… she only wrapped garland around two posts outside.

Lauren asks Joyce about how they used to celebrate. They used to go ALL OUT. See? Here’s a pic of James building a snowman? If that isn’t going all out, I don’t know what is. Joyce with the photographic memory also knows they got a tree. Any other tradition was left behind in England.

Later, Lauren is still working on that garland around the post.

Maryam, a no nonsense British(?) business person arrives. Then Lauren calls herself a career professional and shares a weirdly sexist comment that Colleen’s mom said.

Maryam and James have a no nonsense business meeting 

Maryam is clearly into James and wait, is she or isn’t she British? Or is she supposed to be British? She says, shall we have a few too many ciders? Oh yikes. Maryam, have some respect for yourself. Also, she’s definitely British (accent or not) because she says “shall.”

James and Maryam step outside and stands on a doormat and jingle bells plays. James is like oh this is really annoying. I don’t like this. And I’m a business person so I REALLY Don’t like this. Lauren becomes unhinged suggesting other options. James is like, can you chill? Also, I guess I likes Deck the Halls.

That night the girls string popcorn and cranberry and chat. Lauren says James lost his Christmas spirit. Ugh.

The next day, Lauren puts some Christmas decor in his office. That is supposed to be off limits!

She sees him on the stairs and asks his opinion about decor. Berries or bows? COME ON JAMES! How could you NOT have an opinion on this issue. Instead of saying, “I truly don’t care, pick whichever decorations are cheaper” He says berries and then says no. They always had bows. Wow. She is getting him to Reminisce and feel those nostalgic Christmas feels. Can’t put a price on that. But they can certainly work within your “Christmas Coach” budget.

James notices Christmas decor in his office and asks Joyce about it. He briefly turns into “The Beast” from Beauty and the Beast and rips his office apart. Joyce, who might be one of those long thin fancy teapots if she were to be turned into a house hold item, says he should thank her for disregarding the instructions and his privacy by placing a plant and a musical Santa in his office.

Lauren sees an old family picture downstairs. Then she tells James that “Point setty’s” are plants not flowers. Is Lauren drunk? She tells James she’s going to build a snowman during her break. Oh she’s trying to coach him into memory making. Instead, they stand there in silence.

Later, he sees her out the window.  He talks to his dad about Maryam and he says they’re just friends.  

Then, James goes outside and has a hat box. It is a tradition that the snowman wear his grandpas hat. Lauren is like no you have to place the hat upon his head. James says the snowman needs a scarf and a shovel instead of a broom. Why doesn’t he just make another one. It’s SO FUN after all. Guess what, as an adult? No it is not. It is backbreaking work that at once makes you miserably cold, wet and sweaty. So no, let’s not make a second one. Besides, he’s far too busy to make a second one.

James finally agrees if there is not snowball fight. Oh dear, is he in jeans? No, those are the wrong clothes for snowman building. Why, that’s the very shovel he used to shovel the walk as a boy. You’re telling me that shovel is 20+ years old? James names the snowman after his grandpa, William. I’m sure his grandpa would be SO TOUCHED. Oh the girl is Kate. Well that is so clever.

Joyce brings hot chocolate out. Why don’t they take a break? She made a fire. Lauren likes to eat hot chocolate outside. Again, is she drunk?

James asks how she has such a ridiculous job. Lauren talks about her mom’s charity that her dad runs. It’s called Holiday Hearts. Hey wait a minute. Also, do they only do things around the holidays?

James has that important business call now. Toodles!

The next day Lauren says she has an idea for the party venue and also gift shopping.

We see a quick shot of people playing polo.

Lauren is gift shoppingand wants to video chat with James. How on earth can she just like shop for people she doesn’t know? James agrees to meet her. Maryam hought he didn’t need to do anything if he hired her. Same, girl. Also she is not even trying to be British.

Lauren holds up a tiny figure skate decoration. James is like oh I should get that for my mom. She’ll love this cheap looking tiny Christmas decoration. I Actually I have something similar except it’s the set, it’s bigger and it lights up. So it’s way better. Also, not a Christmas gift.

What about Joyce? Kitchen supplies? No. How rude. Why don’t you just give her a vacuum? Dude I’d love kitchen supplies or a nice vacuum so what is she talking about? I ALSO WOULDN’T MIND A PELOTON. Just putting it out there so no one feels like I should be offended if I were to receive such an item.

They decide to get her…family? And so, like how does that work exactly? Adopt a child for her? Arrange a marriage?

Outside, Lauren starts three sentences in a row with the phrase “You know”.

Well, that was fun but James can’t deliver these gifts. He has Polo practice. But it’s a charity thing so don’t think I’m weird okay? All of us British people get together and play Polo in the winter here in the colonies for CHARITY. But why don’t I have my work assistant do some personal work for me and wrap all these? Lauren is like no no no. What on earth would you be paying me for if I didn’t wrap your Christmas presents for you? And of course, wrapping is Lauren’s specialty. I think we all know that it’s not mine.

Inside their office, Colleen says she hasn’t seen Lauren so excited about a client. Is she? It is hard to tell whether it is just the alcohol and/or drugs talking. These girls are truly so terrible. And Lauren needs a different hair style. I saw a picture of this actress online and she had this super flattering, long hair style and she’s like this limp curl situation going on and it is just not great.

At the office, James wants to decorate the boardroom with Christmas stuff. His assistant Kelly is like okay let me get some stuff together. And James is like, oh no not necessary. And then he takes the only two festive items off of poor Kelly’s desk to decorate the boardroom. She weeps silently at her desk.

Lauren comes by the office. She sees James handing all his employees candy canes as they leave the meeting. There is getting in the Christmas spirit and then there is becoming unhinged. James is dangerously near to that breaking point.

Lauren is here to get a Christmas tree with James. She has an appointment. Remember, Kelly? And then Kelly points to a blank appointment book page to show how it’s written down. So, I’d like to see a movie about Kelly and I hope she finds love.

They head to the tree lot and the snow is THIGH HIGH. What in the world. James shares that they stopped having a tree at home since they had a big party instead. Yeah, that makes sense!! James always said his favorite tradition was how his uncle would put envelopes of cash just for him in the Christmas tree.

Lauren used to sing carols at the nursing home with her dad. This reminds me how my mom and aunt used to make my siblings and cousins and I put on little concerts at our local nursing home. I tell you what, those residents got what they paid for. Nothing like hearing Hot Cross Buns 6 times on the recorder to really liven your spirits.

Then James picks out a dumb tree. It’s got way too much silliness on top. They’re going to have to cut like a foot of that nonsense off the top. Also, is he wearing jeans again? Lauren tries to toss him the saw and trips and he catches her. Oh what a magic moment.

The next morning, the fridge is out at the Anderson manor so Joyce has to bake before all the perishables go to waste. I don’t see any perishables on the counter but I do see a BUNCH of Tupperware containers.

Joyce sends them to the attic for Christmas tree ornaments.

Up in the attic, James shares that his family all seemed to just grow out of doing a lot of Christmas things. Does Lauren have a cold or something? Okay, in this attic there is a pile of at least four tree stands. Why on earth.

Downstairs, they begin decorating the fakest looking fake tree I have ever seen in a Hallmark movie and never have I noticed more that that is NOT the tree they picked.

Not even trying to be British Maryam walks in and she wants to celebrate closing the Lifton (?) deal. Ew she says bubbly. James is like oh well I’m kind of in the middle of this tree decorating business. Maryam is like, isn’t that what you pay Lauren for? Yes, isn’t it??? Doesn’t she have a coworker? Oh, well here’s the thing Maryam. Colleen is gravy sampling… so she can’t help.

Maryam is SO AGGRESSIVE. She says okay well I am going to accompany you to your Christmas party James so we can DRINK ALCOHOL TOGETHER. James is like okay but you can drink on your own time also.

Lauren hands him the star to put on top before any lights are on and only a handful of ornaments have been placed. You sure know your way around a tree Lauren!.

James shares that he’s a little sad that Dean Lifton lost his business. He worked so hard and then he put it up for sale and James bought it. But still, I guess.

The finishing touch on the super fake tree is a big ol bow. Looks great guys. It is now dark. How long have they been decorating? They go to the kitchen to see Christmas cookies just set out. Joyce didn’t cover them or anything. Lauren is like wait, we need to toast. I think there’s some eggnog in the fridge. Pass. She goes to the fridge and James bites into his super crunchy cookie. Lauren shares that she and Colleen and her toast every day. Do they have a little bit o f a problem maybe?

James can’t swallow that dry crunchy cookie in time and Lauren catches him. Lauren calls him uptight and he is shocked at this description of himself. Joyce comes in and she’s like you can’t eat these. I only made like ten cookies and they’re for something else. They scamper out and Lauren discovers that James sneaked two cookies.

I am so bummed at how crunchy these cookies sound. Lauren says that tomorrow is gift giving day for some reason. Joyce catches them again sittin on the stairs. Probably because the crunch sound was so loud it could be heard next door.

James gets up and says he’s so busy with phone calls and acquisitions. That’s great.

The next day, the Christmas coaches pound more hot chocolate at their HQ. Lauren is thinking of making the party smaller at the Anderson’s house.

Then Lauren goes to James’ office to give Kelly her gift. Lauren is surprised that James is there on a work day. Kelly loves the donation made in her name to the Human fund.

James decides he wants to deliver all the gifts to everyone. We don’t see ANY of that.
Later, he says he loved delivering all the gifts. Lauren says they’re going to carry out on his family traditions! Starting with ice skating! Look, Joyce dug these out for us. Then here is like the 50th thing Hallmark says is like riding a bike. I just don’t think it is.

Lauren makes a thermos of big chocolate.

Oh sad, are they both using figure skates?

Lauren goes ooking for Joyce and sees a room she’s never noticed before. She freaks. Joyce approaches. Is this like a ballroom? Lauren wonders. Joyce tells Lauren she’s so glad James is going ice skating. He has so little joy in life, what with being mega wealthy and being part of the royal family. Though they were seemingly exiled to the US.

Lauren visualizes the decorations in the room. HahahahhahHha its just a bunch of balloons. GOOD JOB LAUREN. She imagines dancing with James. James approaches and is weirded out by her standing there with her eyes closed. The she fixes his scarf.

They go to a really cool….like irrigation canal that is frozen over for skating. Where is this? James asks if she’s this hand on with all her clients. Yes, honestly what else is she doing?

Then he takes her hand while they skate. She tells him about other things she does with her clients and well, THEY ARE ALL DUMB THINGS YOU WOULDNT PAY PEOPLE FOR.

James asks, What is her Christmas wish? A Peloton. Oh, no that’s me again. No, she wants her dad to spend more time with her. Why doesn’t she go there? I don’t get it. Then she suggests an idea for his business. But he explains that’s not what they do. They acquire businesses.

Then they quote the Santa clause. Believing is seeing. I do think it is the best Christmas movie but I am annoyed that we have that opinion in common. They decide they’re going to watch all three Santa clauses that day. FUN. But no, for real that actually does sound fun.

They go back to the house and James says he likes the mat and all the Christmas stuff. They stare at each other. Then, Lauren says she’s going to get the popcorn. Lauren spends 3 hours making the popcorn and dying it red and green. Unsurprisingly, James disappears. Oh, hee’s in the ballroom reminiscing. Then they dance to no music. Wait, what about the Santa Clause movies and that gross popcorn? Oh now they have a moment and he invites her to the charity polo thing. Then they do the SLOWEST lead in to a kiss and his phone rings. He has to take it because it’s Maryam. She leaves. No movies after all I guess!

I do love how Lauren’s house is decorated. It’s very cute. She video chats with Colleen. How many people in real life video chat that much?
She says the day was fine. She is sad about James because he seems pretty set with ol not British Maryam.
What does that sign say on her wall? Happy nest?

It’s Polo time! Not British Maryam has super intense eyebrows. James talks to Maryam about his new approach for the Lifton company. She’s not stoked on it. The way she described it I’m not either.
In the crowd, Lauren wears an unflattering hat. She cheers like its a football game but apparently it’s more like golf cheering? Wait now they’re all cheering.

Now they are at the house but it’s not the Christmas party. It’s a different fundraising party. What? Did Lauren plan this one too?
Oooooh Lauren waves and Maryam sees this and steals James away.
Then a guy hands her an empty cup. To be fair, she is wildly UNDER dressed.
Colleen gives her a pep talk. She says, who’s the one making the difference here? Wait, is the answer supposed to be Lauren?How is it her? She has one of the silliest jobs in the whole world. Lauren decides tot go back to James’ to…tell him how she feels I think?

Back at James house, Maryam seems like she’s leaving. She is so snarky and condescending. And then she introduces Lauren to the parents who hired her. They love what she’s done at the house. Lauren suggests having the party at the ballroom. She’s like, well actually you don’t have a choice because I sent out evites to all the guests and got everything set for here. All without asking you guys first!! Thank goodness for Lauren, they’re in. Boy Maryam is just like WORKING SO HARD. She’s like well that will be easier for me since James and I are going to the party together.

Lauren is sad and leaves. Wait, I thought it was night time. What day is it? What time is it? Lauren cries in her car. Maryam seems to take joy in this and walks rigidly to her own car.

James comes down stairs and talks to his parents about the party and Lifton deal. His dad is on board with the new approach there too. What breezy parents he has.

The sign outside the girls’ office is stupid. Inside, they are decorating a tree. Lauren is bummed about James and Maryam. Colleen suggests they toast to all the work she ‘s done but she’s too sad.

Back at home she drinks hit chocolate our of a Santa mug
Calls her dad but he doesn’t answer. Too busy with that nondescript charity!

At James house she’s all glammed up and thank goodness they didn’t go with the ballon theme from her dreams. James is like, are you coming to the party? She’s like duh I’m all dressed up you idiot.

It’s party time! Oh, good there are balloons. Maryam finds James andShe’s like let’s get drunk. The ONLY WAY to celebrate this acquisition is with alcohol. He’s like, pass. Also do you have a problem?

Then, Lauren makes a speech. She asks everyone to put the envelopes they brought in the tree. But she says, James these are not envelopes of money for you. They’re for charity. James and his parents love it. They’re so touched. Maryam is back again like I need a drink! Let’s dance! James is like, we need to get you some help.
Lauren is like well, I’m all done so I’m going to leave. Joyce, you can clean all this up right?

On the dance floor, Maryam lays it all out for James. She wants to be more than friends. Oh does she? I hadn’t noticed. He’s like nah we’re great friends. Are they? She kind of seems like the WORST.
Then she meets Peter, James obnoxious cousin. And they seem perfect together because she knows about sports. She even used the phrase “two point conversion” so… she’s real into it.

James catches Lauren about to leave and he tells her he’s donating to her mom’s charity. Oh that’s so nice! Okay bye. She leaves and he’s like okay thanks for everything! I had a great Christmas! HAGS!

The next day (?) The girls hang stockings and plan a Santa clause marathon. Again, it sounds fun but I don’t want to hang out with them.
James gives Joyce a present. He gives her.. what? Oh a flight home to see her sister that leaves in six hours! Cool! A Red Eye Christmas Eve flight. James you are just TOO kind. Joyce tells him that she thinks Lauren thought he was with Maryam. Oh dear, really? Oh James, you truly are an idiot.

At Colleen’s parents, The girls do charades with Colleens family. The doorbell rings. It’s her dad! He was able to get some help so he could come for Christmas! Then James arrives. He played a role in orchestrating this. Lauren is like, how did you find my dad?!! He’s like, well it’s 2019 so it’s SUPER easy? Then he says that shee’s made his Christmas special. She kisses him. It’s snowing so they go out and stand in it. Whew. Glad that’s over with. Let’s see how we scored.

• Workaholic too busy for Christmas
• Christmas Gala
• Christmas baking
• Winter athletics
• Christmas puns
• an alleged sassy and wise best friend (though I found Colleen to be neither sassy nor wise)

Total score: 6/20

Holiday Date premiered on the Hallmark Channel on December 14, 2019.

The movie begins with a no-nonsense British woman walking through a department store. She is on the phone with an important client. She walks straight up to our lead, Brooke to tell her she needs to make a dress work for this very important client. It is a great dress and the client loves. She tells the client that she wants to be a real designer. And then they realize they grew up really close to each other. What a coinky dink.

After the appointment, Brooke asks the very important British woman if she had a chance to look at her sketches. The British woman is seemingly wearing evening wear to work. The British lady says no she is too busy to look at her sketches. Also, what would a department store manager even do if she liked the sketches? It’s not like Macy’s has their own like, designer line of clothes?

Back at home, Brooke is furiously sketching and then spills her coffee all over her designs. Her mom calls. Her parents can’t WAIT to meet Ethan, her boyfriend. She is making fruitcake. Why?

Later, she goes to her friend’s house and drops off a candle and wine glasses. The friend is like, oh! The candle I wanted! Is that a thing? She is wearing one of her own designs that day. Well that is neat. She tells her friend that she thinks Ethan, or Mr. Christmas, might be “the one”.

At work, Brooke’s boss looks at her sketches. They’re fine but they are not CUTTING EDGE. That’s the only way she’s going to make it in the design world. The boss starts to walk away but then Brooke gives a little speech about the history of fashion. Her boss is like, who cares?

That night at dinner, Ethan says he can’t get away for the holidays. Also it is too soon to meet her parents. He would just much rather be a busy business boy than be in a serious relationship. He also thinks she cares more about bringing a guy home for the holidays than actually being in a relationship.

Then she heads to the friendsmas party. She chats with a stranger outside. His name is Joel and he is also headed to the party.

Inside, Brooke’s friend tells her to just forget about Joel and have fun. Brooke is wearing a great necklace so at least she has that going for her.

We here Joel talk to his manager and the party host about the part he’s up for. He’s very excited about it. Then he and Brooke talk about how her life is going nowhere. She’s disappointed with her career and she just got dumped. What a bummer. Then the party hosts approach and are like well Joel, you should go home with Brooke for Christmas. It would be a great way for you to learn about small towns for this part you’re up for. And oh! You should pretend to be her boyfriend too. Everyone would win that way!

Then Brooke’s mom calls. And she answers, even though she is at a party. Her mom is going ON AND ON about how excited they are to meet Ethan.

Meanwhile, Joel’s agent is psyching him up to do it too.

And I’m wondering how Brooke has been dating this guy for SIX MONTHS and has NEVER sent a picture of them together to her mom or sister. If my sister in law mentions a guy ONCE, I demand to see his photo. Little does she know that this is to prevent her from trying to bring a fake boyfriend home for the holidays.

So anyway, they both get talked into doing this.

The next day, they are driving to her hometown and she is seemingly telling Joel about Ethan. It’s a two hour drive so I’m sure they’ll cover it all. But really, all he needs to know would be stuff she’s already told her parents about. He doesn’t have to like literally be the exact same. And so far, it seems like the only thing she’s told her parents is that he’s really in to Christmas.

They decide to stop and get a cup of coffee. Outside, Joel is like, this town is straight out of a Frank Capra movie! He is just eating it all up. Then he asks about her parents, specifically, what their names are. How did they not cover this in the two hour drive? I mean, what else would they talk about? He shares that his parents are also actors so they are traveling over the holidays doing… I’m not sure, a Ren fair?

Then they run into CHERYL. It’s CHERYL you guys. You know, Brooke’s friend who is literally only in one other scene in this movie? Joel does a terrible job pretending to be Ethan and Brooke panics.

Next, they pull up to her parents’ house and she panics and decides to try to leave. But then she gives up and pulls back in. Joel kisses the mom on both cheeks and bear hugs the dad.

Inside, it’s brunch time. The family asks Joel standard get to know you questions and Joel panics about every single one. What did they talk about on that drive? Brooke’s sister is Lucy from Sense, Sensibility and Snowmen! The sister and her husband, Glen are remodeling their house. “Ethan” is an architect so they ask if he wouldnt mind coming by sometime to give his opinion. Joel is TRULY a terrible actor.

Glen tries to get out of family festivities by saying he has to go to work. Walter, the dad, is like, no you can’t go to work. I need help putting my Christmas lights up. Glen volunteers Joel to help. Joel is like yay! That sounds fun. And then he decides he’s going to start acting like Jimmy Stewart.

They start putting up the lights and Joel is very bad at it. I don’t know why being an architect would make you good at putting up lights though. Or why it would be weird that a single guy who lives in NYC would know how to put lights up. So for some reason, they end up leaving them droopy since Joel didn’t clip the lights in correctly. Walter is suspicious.

Inside, the girls are washing all the dishes by hand. WHY. The sister and mom both tell Brooke they like Ethan, so that is a win!

Brooke decides to take Joel into town. They stop at the hardware store run by her uncle. Joel loses his mind in the store. Like he’s never seen a hammer being offered for sale. If you told me that Joel was actually an alien pretending to be human, instead of one human pretending to be a different human, I would believe you. Then he quizzes Hank about small town hardware store ownership. Brooke decides to leave him there to do more Christmas shopping.

Joel wanders into an alley Christmas tree lot.What a weird place for a Christmas tree lot. He asks to buy the BIGGEST ONE THEY HAVE.

He comes back to the house and Brooke greets him at the door. Wait, why did she leave him downtown and come back by herself? How did he get that tree home? He is just BEAMING from ear to ear. Again I ask, alien or human? The family is like, oh we usually pick trees together. They bring the tree inside and it doesn’t fit in the living room.

Brooke s like, why are you such an idiot? Joel says, oh I’m Jewish so I don’t know anything about Christmas. Then they overhear the mom say the ham is ready. Joel is like, oh cool! I’ve never had ham. So is he just throwing his kosher views to the wind or did he just happen to not have ham growing up?

Then Joel helps Tessa, Brooke’s niece, with her audition for some community theatre Christmas play.

At the audition, Joel goes full stage mom, reciting the lines as Tessa cites them on stage. When she comes out and says she got the part, he says, Mavel Tov! The play director, Roger, comes out and says he needs help with the costumes. Why does a small community theatre need hand made costumes? Joel continues to do a TERRIBLE JOB pretending to be Ethan. Roger is also struggling to do his job.

Back at home, Brooke’s mom is like, I just wanna BAKE. Girl, I feel that. Joel is like, you know what you should bake? A gingerbread house. We all LAUGH AND LAUGH.

Brooke and Joel leave to do some sketching. Joel is apparently supposed to sketch the gingerbread house pieces. Why doesn’t he just look up a template online and trace that and take credit for it? Or, why doesn’t the mom suggest something way less complicated and time consuming? Instead, he does little better than a 6 year old child. Brooke and Joel talk about his childhood. Brooke’s mom comes in and asks Joel to taste the icing. Isn’t it supposed to not taste really good because it’s supposed to be glue?

Then, they make the gingerbread house and it goes exactly how my gingerbread house making experiences go. Walter walks in and is just NOT buying Joel at ALL.

After dinner, Brooke is like, look, you are REALLY bad at acting. Also, are you an alien?

Glenn and the sister arrive and they are very disapointed in the gingerbread house also.

Joel sneaks away to start decorating the tree all by himself. He just sets all the ornaments on the branches. They all walk in and are just aghast. IS JOEL AN ALIEN FOR REAL.

Later, he eats all the popcorn they were going to use for the tree while he watches himself in a commercial. Joel is like, look, I’m REALLY bad at this. Let’s just tell them I’m Jewish, okay?

Later, they gather around the piano to sing carols. Walter is like, yes this is a tradition for just me and my girls. So he makes Glen and Joel stand away from the piano. This is so great. Brooke’s mom puts Joel totally on the spot and is like, take it away Joel! Which is a mean thing to do to your guest whether they know the song or not! Sheesh. Joel doesn’t know a WORD and then finally admits he is Jewish.

Then he says he is having SO MUCH FUN. What a precious little alien. Then Tessa suggests they celebrate both holidays! Great idea Tess. Walter decides to let Joel plug in the Christmas lights and he promptly blows out all the fuses in the entire house because that’s how electric wiring in homes work!

The next morning, the sister and Glenn bring over bagels and lox. Is that racist or nice? Regardless, they are all in on celebrating Hanukkah! They ask if he could come over and give them his opinion about their remodel. He obviously does not want to go agrees to go for some reason. Joel obviously knows nothing. He can’t read the blueprints and he suggests a bay window INSIDE the house and also on a load bearing wall. ALIEN. Joel is doing a terrible job and Walter knows something is up.

Later, Joel hears from his agent that he’s in the final round of 5 actors up for the part. Brooke shows him more sketches of costumes. He says she is really talented. She should do costumes! They both share about where their love for their talents came from. Though I do think Joel should find another career. Joel goes to get some hot chocolate and asks Brooke if she wants any. She says no. Is she a monster?

In the living room, Walter is watching football. I think Joel starts to give him a shoulder rub? Am I remembering that right? OMG if he did that would be SO WEIRD. He starts to clean his glasses and Joel offers to help. He keeps them from Walter while his commercial plays and then gives them back. Great work little alien.

Later, Joel works with Tessa on her part. Brooke is heading into town to get stuff for costumes. Joel is like, maybe I’ll meet you there. Do they have infinity vehicles or what? Joel does more acting exercises with Tessa and Walter walks in. He is unimpressed.

Brooke goes into a bridal shop. Glen and her sister see her. She sees a dress she likes. Glenn and the sister creep through the window.

They see Joel come out of a jewelry shop. OMG. They are SO engaged, thinks the sister and Glenn.

Brooke’s mom freaks. She tells Water she thinks they’re engaged. Walter is suspicious. Brooke’s dad wonders why she hasn’t said anything.

Later, Joel leads Brooke to their fire pit which isn’t the surprise. No he bought a bunch of blow up lawn ornaments? Joel says he loves this town.

They come inside. The family is all waiting and saying they already know.

She starts to apologize about the deception but the family is like yeah we know you’re engaged. The girls whisk Brooke away to talk about wedding plans.

Walter shakes Joel’s hand. Glen is just stoked on the bachelor party.

Brooke and Joel sit in the living room wondering how they recover from this. They don’t want to ruin Christmas OR Hanukkah. Joel wants to double down. Her mom walks in and shows them all the Hanukkah crafts she made.

Later, Brooke and Joel go to a coffee shop. Brooke orders a ginger tea which really bums me out. Joel doesnt want her family to be mad at him. Brooke says they really love him. Cheryl comes in and wants to take a picture of them? Why? That is so weird. She immediately posts the picture on instagram without Brooke’s permission (but in front of her so…I guess?) SO MANY HASHTAGS, including Ethan’s full name. But how does she know Ethan’s full name and why would she use that as a hashtag? I don’t understand. And Cheryl doesn’t understand Instagram.

Back home, Brooke has Joel try on a coat. They look like they’re about to kiss but the mom interrupts. The Ethan calls and says, hey so what’s up? I got tagged in a photo. No, Ethan, you didn’t and unless you are constantly searching for a hashtag of your own name, you would never know about this picture. For some reason, Brooke doesnt leave the room while she takes the call. So all her responses are like very generic. Ethan is like why are you being so weird right now.

Later the family sings Christmas carols and get Joel a Hanukkah gift. Oh, they got him a Menorah. Tomorrow is the first night of Hanukkah! Brooke says she’s having a good time.

The next morning (?) Joel comes in with donuts. Brooke takes a bite and Joel wipes something off her face. The donuts are a traditional first day of Hanukkah treat. Or is it first night of Hanukkah eve? WHAT TIME OF DAY IS IT. They are all eating powder sugar donuts without plates or napkins. Walter asks where he grew up. He could tell the truth about all of this. They literally do not know where the real Ethan grew up so it wouldn’t matter. The mom asks them to teach him another song.

Uh Oh. Ethan shows up. He says he was knocking and no one answered so he JUST LET HIMSELF IN. What on Earth? So Brooke just DOUBLES DOWN and says this is a DIFFERENT Ethan from Design School. They leave together to have lunch. Wait, what time is it?

Ethan and Brooke chat at a coffee shop. He is understandably weirded out by what she is doing. She wanted to have her very own HOLIDAY DATE. Her family really likes him… and so does she. Ethan is like, are you sure you’re just friends? Brooke is like, no you were right to break up with me. You have a terrible haircut so I know we’re not meant to be. Joel sees them hug and possibly misinterprets. Oh, he DEFINITELY MISINTERPRETS.

Back at home, Joel is wondering if his agent has heard anything. He also asks how it’s going with Brooke. He hangs up abruptly. Glen invites him to build a snowman. Joel is too bummed out to participate. Glen and his wife just have a fire going in the middle of the day outside. Making s’mores in the middle of the day like animals.

Brooke is sitting inside. Apparently she DID NOT give Joel the download. Her sister comes in to have a chat. It is a nice heart to heart. Brooke says there’s something she needs to tell her. But then Tessa interrupts and Brooke chickens out.

She goes outside to get Joel. She can tell something’s wrong. Brooke tells him what really happened. And then she shares what she really thinks about Joel. She wishes he could be himself. And then she throws a snowball at him. And they have a cute tackling snowball fight. Oh, she says it’s fun being you and me. That’s cute. Then She gives him a light white wash.

Joel sings a Hanukkah song. I’m not Jewish but I think he’s doing it wrong. Or badly. Tessa is like PRESENTS. Joel is like, no that’s not what we do. It’s like 8 nights of stocking stuffers, girl.

The next night they sing the only Hanukkah song I know. And then they play with dreidels. Brooke’s mom is all in, which I think is really sweet. She has done all this research and seems to now know as much as Joel. How lovely and welcoming is this family to Joel? I hate the premise on which this movie is founded but it sure is shaping up to be a really nice movie.

Later Brooke shows off the dress she made. And then Brooke says her mom can’t call Joel’s parents because they are on a cruise.

Walter and Joel chat. Why isn’t he with his parents? He says his parents are on safari. But also, like clearly he chose to do Christmas with her family. That is why he’s not spending the holidays with his family. Why isn’t that enough of a reason?

Brooke gets a call from Roger. He is cancelling practice and then she looks even more concerned. So, they head to the theatre. Roger lost his voice! He has to cancel the whole thing. Why can’t Joel do this? Her sister is like, you’re an architect. YOU CAN’T POSSIBLY ACT.

They get the theatre all working. Brooke says now she isn’t sure NY Runways are for her. She wants to make timeless stuff. Joel is like, maybe you should just be a costume designer. Costumes are so timeless! It’s time to go! Time to light that menorah. Oh they say their traditions go well together. That is nice.

Oh they get home, and her mom points out that they’re standing under the mistletoe. Oh no. They kiss! IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. Ugh. I die on their behalf. Yikes.

They are getting his parents travel mixed up. Then Brooke’s mom says called actual Ethan’s parents and left a message. Oh boy. WHY ON EARTH? I mean no one would actually do that.

The next day they sing more carols around the piano. Wally looks over and sees Glen on his phone. Wah wah. Brooke’s mom makes latkes. Walter says there is Christmas in one room and Hanukkah in the other. How does it get better than that? Well that is really sweet. So then they eat latkes and sing carols.

Later,she readjusts Joel’s jacket to do the play. Joel makes a comment about their relationship. He says they are more than friends. Then, he calls Larry, his agent. WAIT LARRY IS MARRIED TO A WOMAN? What? Larry doesn’t have an update yet on the part.

Oh no. Walter hears the whole thing. He angrily crunches a candy cane. He pulls Glenn aside. He says he heard his name was Joel Parker and was an actor. Glen whips out his phone. Brooke’s mom got a call from EThan’s mom and of course was very confused. They think Joel is tricking her? What?

Oh, Joel says he has to go on tonight but all he can think about is them together. He goes to tell them but they seem mad and say, yeah we know. Brooke fesses up. The mom is very disappointed in both of them. They are both very sorry. But then they just walk out of the room. They should say how they like each other now!

Joel stands outside by the fire pit. Walter approaches. Joel apologizes again. Then Walter says he needs to know something. How does he really feel about Brooke? Oh he says he cares for her with all his heart. He’s not acting. He’s not that good. Walter says, he knows. He just saw his commercial. SAVAGE WALTER.

Brooke’s mom says she’s still a little upset. But how does she really feel about Joel? Well she sure does like him a lot. They have a nice chat. The mom thinks this guy is worth the risk!

It’s time for the play. Great costumes. Tessa and Joel crush it. Joel gives Brooke a shout out about the costumes.

After the show, the woman in the play says she loves the costumes. Then Roger introduces her to a friend and also her boss? The British lady was like, I didn’t understand or realize how talented she was. She wants Brooke on her senior design team. She doesnt want that anymore. She wants to be a costume designer. Well I think she should take the senior design job anyway.

They have another apology moment outside to Tessa. Oh, she didn’t witness the original apology. Tessa asks if he’s really her boyfriend? And Brooke says YES HE IS! And Wally and Glen approve. They all leave.

Joel’s phone rings. It’s Larry. Oh he didn’t get the part.Joel is a little bummed but he’s okay. He tells Brooke he didn’t get the role. She says that was a mistake. He says he’d rather do community theatre and wait for something he believes in. Oh, Joel says he could see himself living here some day. Oh now it’s Christmas Eve dinner? Or Christmas Day dinner? Walter decides to pass the torch of carving the turkey to Glenn. Oh, Glenn says he’s been waiting 15 years for this. And then Walter says he can call him Dad. Hahahhaa finally. He gave Walter a grandchild and now he can call him dad. Glen doesn’t know how to carve a turkey.

Joel got her a necklace with a Christmas tree and a menorah on it. That’s cute. They KISS again and then eat dinner. Let’s see how we did!

• Christmas pageant
• Snowball fight

Wow, only 2/10.

This post is dedicated to our very NOT GOOD GIRL, Emma who was born in Sidney, Montana in the summer of 2005. She was sassy and sweet and will be sorely missed. Christmas in Montana premiered on Saturday, December 14 on Hallmark Movies and Mysteries.

We begin at a Christmas party. Our lead, Sarah, is wearing a great dress. She didn’t bake her own stuff for the Christmas party! Someone, her boss? Approaches her about a ranch in Montana. Apparently the ranch owner is really stubborn about a loan or something. They want her to go out there and meet with them in person. Usually only VPs go! She could be up for that position! It’s not even a junior VP. But a real actual Vice President job. But she needs to leave TOMORROW. But her daughter Chloe’s break starts tomorrow. He says bring her with her! Her boss seems understanding but also no nonsense.

Chloe doesn’t want to go. Montana is THE WILDERNESS. What if there isn’t any WIFI?! Or other TEEN JARGONS! They arrive in Bigfork. It looks like they are staying in an super cute Inn. They are not dressed warm enough for Montana though. This is a straight up B&B I think. Oh! They are in for a treat. Homemade cider and FRUITCAKE. Dang. Chloe has never had it but is in to it. UH OH. No WIFI. Just kidding. They do have it. I’m SO relieved. The Inn owner gives Chloe some ideas to pass the time instead of being on her phone the whole time. This teen sure is obsessed with that gol darn phone of hers. TEENS.

They walk into a super cute Christmas shop and meet a grade A 50 something hunk. He seems to own the place. Chloe tells her mom she doesn’t want a new charm for her charm bracelet. The store owner oh, no he isn’t. He’s just filling in for a friend. They take turns out dadding each other with Christmas puns. It’s tough for Chloe and I to witness.

Next they head to a GORGEOUS lodge or something. Oh here he comes. The curmudgeon Ranch owner. He’s the dad. Sarah is looking for his son. He must run the place. Oh dear. Mr. Carson asks them to call him “Pops”. I’m not going to do that. He gets them hot chocolate. Pops sets Chloe up with another teen working with the horses. Even the barn is obscenely decorated. Chloe comments on it. THANK YOU. Apparently, the horses like Christmas too. Chloe has never even pet a horse before.

Uh oh. Outside is that silly store manager who didn’t really work at the store. It’s Pops’ son, Travis, Jr. Surprise, surprise. She helps him hang more garland. Oh, apparently their meeting starts now. Sarah really wants them to get that loan approved. He said they are not cutting labor. I have an idea! How about 50% less Christmas decorations. How about they downsize that ski lodge of a house they’re living in? Oh well, they’ll chat tomorrow.

Lexi and Chloe bond over the horses. Chloe is happy to see Travis. Travis tells them that his horse likes Christmas music so he gets Chloe to sing Christmas music to the horse. Then, Travis jokes that they better get back to the hotel before rush hour!! Jokes.

Back at the Inn, Chloe “Guesses” she had fun. She definitely wants to go back to the ranch tomorrow. Oh! I have another idea. How about 75% less Christmas lights to cut costs?

The next day, they are setting out MORE CHRISTMAS decor outside. What is happening. Travis’s dad tries to talk to him about the business. They really need that loan. The dad is the more practical of the two, surprisingly. Oh, Travis was a lawyer before he moved back to run the ranch. Was he in a different Hallmark movie then? One where he decides to stay and run the ranch? Pops is like, you have to figure something out because this ranch is not making any money. I like this ol boy. Travis is truly terrible at this job.

Outside, a car honks. The girls are still not dressed appropriately. Chloe gets to help with chickens today! Yuck. Pops said he talked some sense into Travis for Sarah. This has got to be the MOST obscenely decorated house in all of the Hallmark movies this year. Travis says they can’t get straight to business. But Sarah is like, okay well I had an appointment so why did you tell me to be here at a specific time. Uh oh. Sarah is a vegetarian. That is not going to work well here.Then they get right into a super deep convo. Travis shares that he never had any kids. But he wanted to. And then Sarah shares more about her life. They are connecting RIGHT AWAY. She can’t dig into last year’s cash flow until she finishes her hot chocolate. So she guzzles it. That’s great.

They head outside so Travis can stall some more. He wants to give her a tour of the property. He shows her a big empty barn. They host a big Christmas potluck every year in it. That sounds fun. Sarah is like, well that sounds expensive. She suggests he rent this place out for weddings or special events. Not interested. He shows her EVEN MORE Christmas decorations. HOW MANY BINS DO THEY HAVE!!! Travis pushes back on all her ideas and stalls some more.

Travis hangs more garland and Sarah takes notes. She says he’s wasting perfectly nice garland hanging it in the rafters. She suggests making a zig zag Christmas tree with it. I love that. I NEED MORE GARLAND. She says she decorated that way once but it was a really long time ago.They keep Christmas pretty low key since her husband passed. Then she gets super in to decorating. They admire their work. It looks great! Sarah is like, cool now we can do some work. Travis is like no I want to put up more Christmas decorations. Travis should NOT be running this ranch.

Inside, Chloe looks like she’s…knitting? Travis describes the magic of Christmas snow. He’s right. Why does Pops have the best Christmas sweater in the room? Pops invites the girls to stay for lunch. But they can’t talk business at lunch, you guys. Sarah and Travis decide to have a quick chat before lunch then. Travis pauses their meeting to turn on a toy train. I think his diploma on his wall says “Law University.” Oh, that is a great school. He shares about his experience as a lawyer in New York. It turns out you can only be a lawyer in big cities. Either run the ranch or be a lawyer in a big city apparently.

They are having a big old fashioned lunch. A plate of corn on the cob, rolls, and like a lot of vegetables. They trade jokes about their misconceptions about their eating habits. They share their favorite Christmas moments. Then Travis invites them to their annual Christmas bonfire. They realize they are not prepared for the cold. So Travis offers to drive them into town to get warm gear. That snow sure is coming down! They drive to an outdoor market? Oh no they go to a regular store. Sarah points to a random employee and says to him, we’ll take these. That’s not how stores work, Sarah. Then they decide to shop for hats and gloves at the outdoor market. They find GREAT Christmas tree hats. I love them. Little by little they are getting bundled appropriately. The last thing they need is boots.

It’s time for the big bonfire. Chloe is hanging out with Lexie. Sarah suggests he start charging for this event. And Travis is like, no way Jose. Travis introduces them to a restaurant owner in town. The owner gives Travis a LOOK. If you told me Travis spent six figures on exterior lighting, I would believe you. They sing carols. Look, this is REALLY LOVELY. I want in.

Back at the Inn, Sarah tries to do some work in the cute kitchen. Kay tells her to go to bed. She can only get inspired at the ranch.

The next morning, Kay shows up with Sarah and Chloe. Kay invites the girls to help make eggnog. Pops CRUSHES yet again with his sweater. Lexie surprises Chloe by going to the chicken coop for eggs instead of the kitchen. Sarah tours the property and takes notes. She passes two kids with hockey sticks and skates. What? Lexie’s dad is helping Travis decorate the barn. The items for the Christmas potluck are packed SO ridiculously. In open milk crates? Come on guys. They have another heart to heart. But then Sarah says he’ll make a wonderful father someday. What? He’s in his fifties. I mean, obviously he could still be a dad to a baby but like, honestly. Lexie’s dad comes back in covered in snow. She says she realizes that Peter’s suggestions aren’t going to work. Good thing she came out there! Kay rings the bell to make them take an eggnog break. Pass. Chloe says she put the cinnamon stick in her eggnog like her dad used to.

Sarah gets a call from her boss. They argue a little bit about whether she should be pushing him to lay people off. Travis walks in and suggests they go horsebackriding. She suggests that he give riding lessons at the ranch. This place is literally brimming with money making opportunities. COME ON TRAVIS. Also, I don’t see any cattle. What kind of ranching do they do exactly? Ugh. He also basically has a Christmas Tree farm on his property. Okay, Travis, you need to be fired IMMEDIATELY. You suck at running a business. Chloe finds them a great tree and then Travis makes Sarah cut it down. FUN. And why is that area of the ranch covered in lights?

Inside, they all decorate the tree. Then Pops gives Kay a special new ornament. Everyone gets an ornament. Oh! He made one for Sarah and Chloe. Kay is like, I’ve been coming around here for years and this is my first year getting an ornament. These city slickers show up two days ago and they already have one?

Later, Sarah apparently has no place to be so she sits out on the porch in the 20 degree weather. Travis is like it’s freezing out here. Do you want to go inside? She’s like no, even though I’m massively underdressed for this weather, I like it! Then they see a shooting star! I’m surprised they can see the stars with all the light pollution this ranch is emitting. They see a meteor shower! She runs inside to get Chloe. What a nice little trip for them.

Back inside, poor Chloe is passed out on the couch. Sarah can’t get her up. Travis suggests they just stay the night! You’re telling me in that big house, they only have two tiny couches for them to sleep on? And then Sarah has to sleep in her jeans? Whoa. Travis looks like he’s going to kiss her and then kisses her on the cheek. This looks miserable. She can’t even stretch out on that couch! That house has got to be 3000 square feet and it’s only got 2 bedrooms? No way.

Kay arrives in the morning with cute cinnamon rolls with candy canes in them. Sarah can’t wait to get out of there. But Chloe wants to stop at the Christmas market. Can’t they take a shower first! Chloe wants more yarn. Chloe asks if Sarah wants to learn how to knit. Sarah is like can I PLEASE take a shower or at least brush my teeth first? Why do you have to teach me to knit on this park bench? Then Chloe tells her this is the best Christmas they’ve had since her dad died. She wants to stay through Christmas. Sarah says they can’t just invite themselves to someone else’s Christmas.

Travis is crunching some numbers. Reality seems to set in for the first time.

Sarah and Chloe are back in their hotel. Chloe shovels fruitcake in her mouth. Sarah gets them super cute matching Christmas sweaters. Sarah’s boss calls. Peter is concerned about her methodology. His daughter follows Chloe on social media. And he sees ALOT OF MERRIMENT. She can’t possibly be getting work done that way. He says needs her report by noon tomorrow. I think Sarah has an idea. Chloe’s generation Z need to post her entire life on social media may have saved the ranch.

I think Sarah worked all night. What kind of jeans does she have that she can sleep in them and work all night in them?

Kay and Sarah have a nice conversation that morning. She learns that Travis was engaged once. And Sarah shares her big idea with Kay. Kay loves it. She hopes Travis will too.

Sarah comes to the ranch. Travis is like, I’m going to sell 2000 acres. Sarah is like, no you’re an idiot. I know you don’t want to charge your family and friends but what about dumb city slickers like me? She puts together a web presentation for him. He asks if there’s even a market for basically turning the ranch into a B&B lodge type thing but maybe only for Christmas? She shows him what they charge per week. He’s like, who would run it? Well, they’d need a manager. Hmmm. What does he think? How about running more cattle? Or what is this ranch even DOING!!! But he’s stoked about this new idea.

Later, they are all antsy waiting to hear back from Peter. Kay comes in with gingerbread house making items. Oy. Here we go. Chloe blurts out wanting to stay for Christmas. Pops and Travis are like, yeah doy. Sarah says they can stay. Finally Sarah gets a call. They can do the Carson Christmas Lodge thing! They got the loan. They decide to go to that restaurant in town to celebrate. But Chloe can’t go. She’s going caroling. Oh, well just Sarah and Travis are going to go then.

That night, Sarah is wearing a super cute dress. How did she know to pack that? They chat as they walk to the restaurant and then while they eat. And then he asks her to dance. Oh brother. Okay good other people are dancing. I have NEVER been to a restaurant where people are dancing. Do they actually exist? After dinner, he asks if she wants to go for a stroll. He thinks she’s finally on Montana time because she’s slowed her walking pace. OH! He takes her hand and tells her he’s fallen head over heels for her! She feels the same way! But maybe that’s why they shouldn’t stay for Christmas. How would it even work!! Travis is like let’s figure it out. Sarah is like, no I can’t. I have my whole life in LA and I can’t give that up. She leaves abruptly. Dang.

In the hotel, they are packing up. Chloe wants to stay. She’s like we’re both better here. Christmas is better here. They both say they didn’t want to talk about Chloe’s dad to protect the other one. Then Sarah says she has a gift for Chloe. It’s a charm for her charm bracelet. Chloe says she always has it with her. She just didn’t want to wear it.

Back at the barn, the Carson boys are putting up even MORE decorations. Travis gives himself the lecture he thought his dad was about to give. Travis thinks it’s too late. Well we’ve only got like 3 minutes left so it might be! Nobody seems concerned about airline cancellation and change fees. Travis runs to the Inn to catch the girls before they leave. Are they leaving ON Christmas Eve? That’s terrible. Travis arrives. She wonders if there is some sort of business issue.

He says there’s EVERYTHING WRONG with her leaving. She’s like if I spend one Christmas there, she’ll never want to leave. She has to protect Chloe! Well, it seems like Chloe wants to stay here, girlfriend. Sarah tears up. Travis is like, no you can’t leave I won’t permit it. OH Now he mentions he needs someone to run the Christmas ranch. He’s like, do you know anyone? And then Chloe barges in. What’s going on? She wonders. Chloe is stoked about staying for Christmas. Oh he hugs both of them. That’s cute.

They walk in to the super cute Christmas Eve potluck. I love this idea and the obscene decorations. Travis tells Sarah she’s home. Then, THEY KISS! In front of EVERYONE. And then they eat. Let’s see how we did.

• Small town person
• Big City person
• Workaholic
• Single parent
• Snowball fight
• Christmas puns
• Small (ranch) in danger of going out of business

Total score: 7/20

A Homecoming for the Holidays premiered on Hallmark Movies and Mysteries on Saturday

A family toasts their son who is about to be shipped out with hot chocolate. They are all crying. For some reason there is a cute hot chocoalte stand set up on the side of the road where the bus is waiting. They are all a little teary. They talk about the lead girl’s budding music career. She decides to start playing the guitar for everyone. She drops her guitar pick and a cute troop picks it up. The organizers apparently asked her to play. She and the cute troop chat. He likes the Montana town where they’re at. Then they bond over their love of Dolly Parton. They introduce themselves. Charlotte and Matt. He’s like, hey your guitar pick. And she says, keep it for good luck! And he’s like, well that is pretty brazen of you.

She sings and they all hug and the brother leaves. Then we get a montage of her recording music and getting bigger and bigger as a country music star. The montage stops with her performing her last concert in Nashville before Christmas. She introduces her opening act. Then they sing a song together. She’s handing out gifts at random. Then she gives her manager a fancy pen. She says she’s always losing her pens but not her jewelry. So if she gets her a pen that looks like jewelry maybe she won’t lose it. Oh boy. Charlotte, that is just a bad gift. Give her a gift card. Let her buy her own giant bag of pens for $2.

Charlotte encourages Taylor, her opener to go home and see his parents. They talk about why they broke up. Taylor is like no I just am focused on my career and I need to hitch my wagon to yours for that. She is heading home to Montana.

Looks like Matt is there. Charlotte sits in the back seat of her car and plays her guitar. I roll my eyes HARD. Her security seems to be done now because we NEVER see them again. She is wearing a fancy skirt. She does not change her clothes before she starts baking a bunch of stuff. Her parents walk in. But it’s morning so…where were they? her dad is like as soon as Eric starts running the business, I can relax.

They start walking downtown and a tree little shoot out right in front of them? What is happening. Matt is behind it. Oh! What a coinky dink. He is working at Operation Homefront there in town. It helps veterans and their families find housing. He is just here through the new year. An exasperated man comes out. He’s volunteering at Operation Home Front.

Eric arrives. Has he been deployed this whole time? They make it seem like several years has passed.

They go to the American Legion center. They run in to Dana who served with Eric and also has a teen daughter who just got into Juliard. Operation Home Front is giving her a new house. Charlotte asks if they would mind if she stepped outside to jot down a few lyrics. She sees Matt. She describes “Big Sky Christmas”. I like how everyone calls her writing random “lyrics” down as working through Christmas. Matt blows Eric’s cover about a job he applied for overseas. They also still have their tree with them. They’ve just been dragging it around all over town on foot?

Eric’s dad really drives the knife in by saying he’s so glad Eric is there to take over the business. They invite Matt over.

Eric and Charlotte talk about the new job. Oh they’re waiting for Matt. Eric shares that Matt is Charlotte’s number one fan. He shares that one song inspired him to turn down a job. Your lyrics can inspire people to make unwise financial decisions. One more stop. Jesse, the volunteer, is taking photos of A VERY GOOD AND HANDSOME BOY. This good boy was a rescue from a hurricane. The very good boy, Koa, seems to really like Jesse but Jesse is not sure he should take the dog. He’s the only dog they haven’t found a home for.

They FINALLY make it home to decorate the tree. Charlotte is wearing stiletto boots and a skirt. PERFECT outfit for decorating a tree in her childhood home. Then Matt shares that his parents died. Eric shows up. Where has he been? A card falls out of Charlotte’s coat. She says it’s an early Christmas present for her parents. She’s paid off their house! Eric and Matt feel SUUUUUUPER uncomfortable. She’s like, it’s cool. I’ll just take some of the proceeds when I sell this home soon and put you both in a retirement home. And then we have a Christmas tree decorating montage. A Santa hat comes out of nowhere. Matt is like I gotta GET OUT OF THERE. BYEEEE. Charlotte says she can help collect toys tomorrow. Her parents creep through the window.

The next morning Charlotte is in for a full day of errands with Matt. They stop at the Operation Home Front House. They are still building it but they’ve already put garland around the windows. Her dad and brother are already there. Her dad says AGAIN how glad he is that Eric is going to take the reins.

Charlotte’s manager calls. The label thinks they can get her a spot on the Country Christmas Special. And they want AN ORIGINAL CHRISTMAS SONG to sing with Taylor Robb. Wait, have I seen this movie already?

Matt and Charlotte head to the high school. He tells her he has two job opportunities but they’re both desk jobs. She is like, a special guest in her mom’s music class. She gives some tips to the students. Matt is there too for some reason. Then, while Matt and her mom are just standing there and Charlotte abruptly turns away from them and starts playing the piano. Matt says he doesn’t celebrate much when he’s deployed.

It’s 11 AM the next morning and Charlotte is finally awake. Matt is there for some reason. It’s baking time. They seem to be doing mixing, rolling and decorating all at the same time. But that’s not how it works. Matt an Eric have a quick heart to heart about the job Eric applied for. Then Matt mentions how he’s been hanging out with Charlotte. Eric is like, I couldn’t care less. Then Eric and his dad fight about who will shovel the snow. Charlotte and Matt anthropomorphize the reindeer cookies.

Outside, Eric is wondering why his dad is FINALLY asking if he actually wants to take over the business. So he’s mad at Charlotte for getting that idea in his dad’s head. That’s weird.

At the school, Charlotte and her mom watch Hadley, Dana’s daughter, practice for the tree lighting. After Hadley leaves, she and her mom have a nice moment.

It’s tree lighting time and Hadley is playing the guitar up on stage. She gives a little speech. By the way, this is Dana’s THIRD Hallmark movie of the year. Hadley lights the tree. Then Hadley invites Charlotte up on stage to sing. She feels guilty and doesn’t want to steal the spotlight. Charlotte decides to sing “Oh Christmas Tree” which I think is a weird choice. I mean, I guess it’s a tree lighting but still. Then Taylor Robb comes out of the nowhere and finishes the song with her. Matt sees thi and is like, oh dang. Charlotte is not pleased.

Charlotte and Taylor head to a coffee shop so he can explain what he’s doing there. He’s like, girl let me ride your coattails! Do that country show so I CAN MAKE SOME MONEY. It is so much better for my career if people think we’re connected or if you do something on my album. Then Matt shows up and she’s like, oh this is Taylor. We’re not dating. Matt is like cool hat earlier, Taylor. Was he just there to creep up on them? Taylor is like, oh you like him.

Back at home, Eric finally tells his parents about the job. He has a final interview scheduled. They’ve got nice parents though.

The next day, the house they’re building looks really great! Charlotte wants to talk about their relationship and Matt is like, you should just chill. We’ve been hanging out for two days. Eric tells Matt he has to go to Missoula tomorrow for the interview. They see Jesse and Koa. Jesse shares what a GOOD BOY Koa has been for him. Jesse is a veteran too and Koa seems to know when Jesse needs him. Because he is a GOOD BOY. Charlotte’s manager shows up. They’ve agreed to live stream her portion of the concert from her hometown!

Her manager and her go to a coffee shop to talk about the details. She also says that she wants to donate a portion of her album to something. Maybe a scholarship fund. She agrees to do the concert. She likes money too after all. Her manager and Taylor agree to wrap presents at the American Legion. Taylor is like GOOD PRESS!

At the Christmas present wrapping event, they share about their present opening styles. Oh, she defines their conversation from yesterday as “rough”. Oh, BLESS HER HEART. Later, Taylor is like, Matt how often do you call YOUR parents to deflect the attention away from everyone pressuring him to call his. Matt is a total bummer and is like, I’d give anything to talk to my parents again. Groan. Eric is like, boy this party really DIED.

Then the press shows up and wants to interview just Charlotte. Not Taylor. Charlotte’s mom and Taylor have a heart to heart about him talking to his family. It’s lovely but I’m not going to summarize their conversation.

Eric heads to Missoula for his big interview. Then Charlotte passes out identical thermoses to everyone. For what purpose? I don’t know. They don’t use them again in the next scene.

That night, Charlotte and Matt walk in the middle of a street instead of on the sidewalk. A paparazzi pops out of nowhere and asks some questions. Matt starts to shut it down but Charlotte says it’s okay.

Back at her house, Matt apologizes for overstepping. She’s fine. Then they have a conversation about exchanging phone numbers. And then they DON’T EXCHANGE PHONE NUMBERS. He leaves instead.

The next day, Charlotte goes to the high school and jams out with Hadley. She was supposed to meet Taylor but he bailed. Hadley can play almost all the instruments. Why do they only jam on Christmas songs though?

They head back to the lodge for “Reindeer Games.” Eric made it back from Missoula. I truly thought a car accident where he is hurt or killed would be part of this movie but I guess not. Jesse is there with his GOOD BOY Koa. Jesse has a nice chat with fellow vet, Charlotte’s dad. He says he’s talking to a therapist. He starts to get a little worked up and then Koa jumps up and licks him in the face. Jesse says Koa knows when he needs him. Yes of course he does. Because he is a GOOD BOY. The dad is like, you two pups need each other. And I agree.

Outside, Eric tells Charlotte he got the job. He thinks he’s going to accept. Then they start the Reindeer games. Are Eric and Dana a thing? How old is she? How old is Eric? How old is Hadley? WHAT IS HAPPENING. Also, Eric and Charlotte are way too nice to each other to be siblings. The games thing looks fun. I like the reindeer costumes. Everyone wins because they have a great time. It ends with a BIG hug between Charlotte and Matt. They start to talk about maybe seeing if they can make thing “thing” work in this crazy world.

Later, she meets up with Taylor to see where he’s been. Taylor is like, well I’m bailing on this concert that I forced you to be in so I can go to Paris to celebrate Christmas with my family. Is this Home Alone? Hope his power doesn’t go out tonight. They face each other and hold each other’s hands as he lives and that same sneaky paparazzi gal sees it and snaps some pics. Uh Oh. And after Charlotte was so nice to her?

The next morning Charlotte’s mom is like, boy I heard you playing the guitar all night. That was kind of rude. Charlotte was like, oh yeah sorry. I’m an artistic musician so I just can’t help it. She is stressed about having to write a BRAND NEW Christmas song for TOMORROW. She and her mom have a nice mom chat.

She runs into her manager in town. What is the manager’s Christmas plans?They walk in to the Operation Homefront HQ. She wants to do the concert in front of their new house. EVERYONE WOULD KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE DANA! Wouldn’t that be SO GREAT? She invites Hadley to play with her onstage tomorrow. Hadley is like, cool yeah. I definitely practiced enough for that. Then Charlotte walks up to Matt and just KISSES HIM. Dang girl. Get it. But then Matt tells her he made a decision about a job. Her manager interrupts their conversation.

Outside, her manager chatters away. Then Charlotte asks for another favor.

Oh great, another Hallmark original Christmas song. I SO HOPE we get to hear the whole thing. Then Gretchen calls letting her know about a tabloid article about her and Taylor. Instead of being like, cool who cares, she panics. IT’S ALL OVER THE INTERNET.

At her house, she tries to explain to Matt. He actually doesn’t care but he still breaks up with her. One tabloid article and he is DUNZO. He can’t keep up with that life.

Back at home, Eric gives his parents a puppy. Cool! People love being surprised by being asked to care for live animals! And then Eric tells them he’s taking the job. He has nice supportive parents. They all tear up. Her manager creeps through the window.

At the concert, Charlotte lets on that she and Matt broke up. She runs through the order of the show with her manager.

Matt practices his speech. Eric, Jesse and Matt bro out for a minute. Jesse makes it weird. Eric is like why aren’t you going to date my sister? Eric is like, stop being such a baby.

Inside the new house, Charlotte practices on the steps. Matt comes in and gives her a the guitar pick she gave him years ago. They stand awkwardly on the steps together. Then he kisses her. Gretchen interrupts them.

Matt comes out and introduces the show. Dana and Hadley walkup blindfolded to see their new house. It’s pretty big for two people. Especially since Hadley is just about to go to college. Now Charlotte comes out to play. Oh good. Her magical new Christmas song. It’s fine.

Charlotte says she’s going to put that song on her album so Hadley will get a songwriting credit. Then she tells her that Hadley is the recipient of her first scholarship. She hands Hadley a check for Juliard. Hadley’s response is underwhelming. Then Charlotte says she needs someone to run the scholarship fund. And then she says a bunch of gross things to Matt about who she is looking for to run it. Okay, what? I was SO sure that he was going to take over the construction business for her dad! It was lining up perfectly. He didn’t want a desk job. He wanted to stay in that town. And is running her scholarship fund really a full time job? How is she going to pay his salary? Ugh. This is ridiculous. Oh and then they KISS. That is not going to cause any conflicts at work.Oh boy. Let’s see how we did.

• Christmas Festival
• Christmas Tree Lighting
• Christmas Baking
• Christmas montage