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Christmas at Dollywood premiered on the Hallmark Channel on Sunday, December 8.

The movie begins with Dolly Parton music. And we are at a…fashion show? Oh good. Another event planner movie. It’s a CHRISTMAS themed fashion show. Danica (Rachel) has an earpiece and is just working away. She talks to her boss, Gail. She is pleased with Rachel’s work on this event. She’s supposed to plan an engagement party for an ambassador. But, apparently the ambassador called the party off. So she tells her to take some time off because she’s going to be running this company some day.

Rachel gets home to see her daughter, Ava, pretending to be asleep. She wanted to wait up for Rachel to get home. Ava asks Rachel to tell her an “Adventures of Ava” story. Well this is a cute idea. She makes up stories to tell her daughter as she goes to bed.

Later, Rachel is getting drinks with her friend and tells her how her boss said she would run the company some day. Her friend is like, I’m actually here to convince you to come home for Christmas. You should come plan the 30th anniversary of Dollywood. Their event planner fell out. In the middle of planning the party? She hasn’t been home for Christmas in a long time. Rachel agrees to meet with the Dollywood people.

At Dollywood, everything looks ready for Christmas. Luke walks through the park with Eric. There are glitches with the Christmas tree lights. Luke is taking over the celebrations at Dollywood. Looks like Luke is up for the General Manager position. Even though he’s worked there forever, he still has to interview and stuff.

Rachel and Ava arrive at her parents’ house. Both the exterior AND interior are decorated obscenely for Christmas. And the dad is putting MORE lights up. Why doesn’t anyone pick their family up from the airport? Lots of family traditions to work through!

The next day, Rachel arrives at Dollywood. She is snapping pics as she goes. By the way, I looked up tickets to Dollywood and it is like, WAY more expensive than I thought. Almost as expensive as Disneyland! While she is snapping pics, Luke approaches her. She says she’s surveying. He jokingly accuses her of being a spy. She tells him that the layout for the anniversary party is ALL WRONG. Is this what happens when a party planner jumps ship right in the middle of things? After she leaves, Luke yells for Eric.

Rachel waits in the lobby. She sees Luke again. At this point, Luke thinks they are up for the same job. Rachel thinks maybe they are too. They talk about how much they love Dolly Parton. He gives her some good advice, which is kind, considering he thinks they are in competition. Luke heads to the interview. And then Rachel gets called to hers.

Luke gives a presentation. No one has ANY questions. And Luke also ends his presentation quite poorly. He says, “So, that’s my presentation!” Come on, guy. He then tells the Chairman that he wants to take over the anniversary party planning. I’m really not sure why. Then, it’s Rachel’s turn to meet the board. Why is the entire board involved in the planning of this anniversary party? What does Hallmark think that company boards and CEOS do? They tell her they’ll be in touch.

When she gets home, her parents are making ornaments with Ava. She is not sure how the interview went because the board was so hard to read. Rachel shares that her husband got to make an ornament the first year she brought him home. This seems like a signal that he died. Then, she gets a phone call letting her know she got called in for a second interview.

Later, Rachel sits outside presumably looking at the field of lawn ornaments her dad set out. Her mom joins her and they chat. She asks if she still enjoys party planning. It sure doesn’t leave much time for Ava though. Her mom suggests that she start writing again. Oh? So PARTY PLANNING IS NOW A NONDESCRIPT CORPORATE JOB KEEPING OUR LEAD FROM PURSUING HER REAL DREAM?!!!! What is happening?

The next morning, Luke is creeping in the lobby and sees Rachel. She teases him about how well she was received by the board. At this point, Rachel knows they are not competing for the same job. Anyway, he board calls them both in and says, hey you guys should both plan the rest of the party. It’s only 6 days away. Again, what? What is there even left to do 6 days out? I know the party planner bailed but wouldn’t it just be executing at this point??

Rachel heads back to the office space. She asks if she can meet Dolly sometime. Her friend is like, probably not. Then Luke arrives. He doesn’t have his own office? He’s kind of miffed that she knew they weren’t competing. She’s like, okay let’s get to work. They head to the VIP tent and she notices that he already took her note about the layout. She is all business about this party. She asks about food. He’s like, yeah that’s all done. Rachel is like, no I have an idea. He’s like, look it’s too late for ALL of this. She’s like, no 6 days is plenty of time in a Hallmark movie. They participate briefly in a game called “the experience olympics” where they both try to out credential each other’s party planning abilities. We all lose.

That night, Luke gets a call from Mark, who is recruiting him to work at his theme park in Georgia. Luke is not interested. He just wants to be promoted.

The next day, Rachel tells Luke they have a tasting tomorrow to totally revamp the food. Luke is like, this is in four days. They apparently had plans to do more planning that night but she asks if he can come over to her house for their meeting instead.

They run into each other at lunch while they’re both complaining to their friends about each other. They say they’ve been working together for 5 days but the party was supposed to be six days from the first day? What? Anyway, it’s awkward.

That night, they are at Rachel’s house for the Christmas “open house”? Why? What is that?They have a hot chocolate table outside. And then Luke comes up with an AMAZING IDEA. What if they had a hot chocolate stand AT THEIR PARTY? OMG. This guy. Then they apologize for their game of credential Olympics. Then Luke shares the horrifying news that he only has ONE WREATH.

The next day, her friend is all casual about Dolly being here and Rachel is like, HELLO. You said you were going to tell me when she was here. The friend is like, oops my bad. Rachel races to catch her in the park with Luke. She is not with Luke so Rachel has to make something up about why she raced over there. Ooof. It’s uncomfortable.

At the tasting, the chef is elated to be doing something different…like Christmas tree shaped towers of fruits and vegetables. Get this guy he’s own Pinterest page! They come up with another TRULY NOVEL idea for the party. It’s just too good to write now. Then, is it the same day? Rachel and Ava are at the park to hang out. Hope she got discounted admission! Luke invites them to go make snowmen…in Tennessee. Rachel says she can’t believe they still do this and that she used to do this with her dad. Is this a thing? Does it actually snow in Tennessee? Then Luke says, so, you like books? Again, what? How about, so, you like reading? And then she shares how she lit 100k on fire by majoring in “literature” in college. If you love reading so much, you should make a job out of it! Don’t waste that reading talent on party planning. But if She REALLY wants to put that reading degree to good use, she should probably be lawyer. You get to read SO MUCH as a lawyer. They end their snowman making adventure with a snowball fight, of course.

Later they chat more about stuff I don’t care about and then she invites him over again.

They are making Yule Logs. Apparently they are the best holiday treat of all time. Isn’t it just a rolled up chocolate cake? Luke’s looks dented. I’m actually surprised that it’s dented. I would think the hard part would be rolling it up without the cake breaking. So I would imagine Luke ending up with sort of a trifle or cake pop scenario. Also, they each made their own. You really need three Yule logs?

Back at work, they decide to do an ugly sweater montage. They are apparently trying to figure out uniforms for the employees. The chairman wanders over. Apparently they are thrilled about moving the shows out to the Main Street in the park. There is going to be ALOT of media.

That night, Rachel is writing notes on a window. Luke is like, oh you’re still here? Her parents took Ava to the movies. She is feeling like they need a BIG FINALE. They don’t have that sorted out? WHAT DAY IS IT. Luke invites her to come with him to look at a DJ. Again, have they not sorted this out already? Rachel is like yay, I love line dancing. Does she? Does anyone?

At the bar, Luke needs to be coaxed into line dancing. Rachel says that line dancing is like riding a bike. Has ANYONE at Hallmark EVER ridden a bike? I do not enjoy the proceeding scene of them line dancing. They end up having a nice moment slow dancing. IT’S ALL HAPPENING. He gives her some career advice. They walk through some sort of holiday lighted market or Dollywood? I don’t now. They both say that this place feels like home. He says that’s why he’s passed on this other job. He walks her home. Her mom is like, Ava waited up for her story. Rachel is like, cool so you didn’t put her to bed or read any of my notes about her evening routine? THANKSSOMUCH.

For some reason, she invites Luke in to sit around the fire while she makes up a story for Ava. It is SO WEIRD. Luke politely eats leftover Yule log cake. But good news, while she’s telling her story, she comes up with an idea for the finale.

Later, Rachel goes through old boxes and finds some of the stories she wrote before. She decides to start writing more, right then and there.

The next day, Rachel sees her friend at Dollywood in a big storage room. Is this where all the Christmas decorations are? No, these are all the books from the Imagination Library at Dollywood. Maybe her book could be in there someday?

Later, Rachel and Luke give a presentation about their idea for the finale. Eric helpfully points out that the tree is being glitchy.

They are decorating the trees in the VIP tent. I do love the trees they’re working on. I love the trees that have the white spray on them. I don’t see any Balsam Hill boxes though? Luke shares a truly mortifying story about meeting Dolly for the first time. Dolly was nice about it. Rachel is dying to meet her. Rachel’s mom and dad are there and share a knowing look after watching her and Luke.

That night, she gets a call from Gail while she’s sitting outside. Gail offered her a partnership and she can dive right in after the New Year! Just what she wanted! Gail!

Later, she’s writing some of her greatest hits of Adventures with Ava. She talks to her mom about Luke and everything. And how Gail offered her a partnership. Her mom is like, why don’t you just come home?

The next day, Luke talks to some people while he strolls along the street. Runs into Mark. He says the party is the talk of the town. Mark is like, stop waiting for that promotion and take my offer to move to Georgia. Luke is like, what do I do?

Back at Dollywood, Luke overhears a woman greeting a man seemingly interviewing for the GM job. Rachel is going over details for the dress rehearsal. And then they hear that DOLLY IS HERE. And she wants to see the tree “now that it’s working.”

They are in the command center and they turn the tree on. And then it flickers and goes out again. Eric doesn’t know what happened. CAN YOU FIGURE IT OUT! DOLLY IS HERE. Oh, just kidding. She had to take a call so she won’t be there. But don’t worry, everything will be perfect and ready for tomorrow. All the other lights seem to be working without any trouble.

Back at home, Rachel’s mom tells her she has more of her junk..excuse me “keepsakes” for her to go through. Then Luke stops by. He wants to take her and Ava to go to “Peppermint Lane.” What time is it?!! All the stores on this street make a peppermint flavored treat and people can sample it. I am disappointed that Ava’s favorite flavor is peppermint. And it wouldn’t be Peppermint Lane without Santa! Ava asks to see him. They chat about how panicked they are about the event tomorrow. They are both SO MUCH MORE RELAXED than when they first met. She shares that she started writing again. They say nice things to each other. Ava comes back and asks about peppermint bark.

The next day, they are talking about all the final details for the party that night. Eric accuses him of having fun the night before. YOU LIKE HER. Luke is like, no we are WORLDS APART okay? Luke quotes Dolly to Eric. And Eric is like, why are you so obsessed with me?

It is getting close to party time and Luke runs into an executive. He sees them welcoming that guy from earlier that interviewed. To be clear, it very much seems like they just hired this guy to be GM.

Rachel is at home getting ready. She pauses to look through her box of junk…I mean, memorabilia. She sees a rejection letter from a publishing company. Why did she save that? Her mom comes in and is like, shouldn’t you have been at the party like HOURS ago? Then her mom is like, you should just stay here. Rachel is not sure.

Back at the park, Eric encourages Luke to talk to Rachel about his feelings. Instead, they have a conversation about settling. It’s fine to settle for a business partnership at an established company in New York and to run a bigger theme park in Atlanta. And they are both going to be JUST FINE. And dandy. It’s a hard candy Christmas.

Then, Rachel finally gets to meet Dolly. It’s great.

It’s time to kick off the event. Out comes Dolly. She introduces the whole event and wears a great sparkly outfit.

Luke is at the command post panicking about the lights. We see clips of lots of the shows. Rachel checks in with Luke. We also see a clip of the parade. It’s time for the tree lighting. It seems like it’s glitching but then it works! And Dolly loves it. Rachel looks around and says, this IS home.

After the show, Rachel catches up with her family. She says she just feels like this is where she’s supposed to be. Ava is like yes please. Her mom is like, you guys can stay as long as you want. I already bought new Frozen bed sheets for both of you. And Rachel is like, how many time do I have to tell you that we don’t need a million new sheet sets. Oh wait, no that is a conversation I had with MY mom.

Rachel goes to find Luke but ends up sitting on the stage. In walks DOLLY. Dolly gives her some very Dolly advice. They have a nice conversation. Dolly tells her that they hired Luke as their GM. That other guy was the ASSISTANT (TO) the General Manager. Dolly calls him and gets a hold of him right away. Doy.

Rachel races off to meet Luke and tell him about the job. Why is SHE the one telling him though? That doesn’t seem like her job. In fact, Dolly shouldn’t have told her before they told Luke. Then they have their nice Hallmark movie and THEY KISS. Dolly creepily looks on.

Flash forward to Christmas a year later. Rachel has a ring on already so we’re good there. Luke finds one more present under the tree…from Dolly. It’s her published book. Why would Dolly do that? Well, her book was chosen by the Imagination Library! Great! They kiss again, right in front of EVERYONE. It’s awkward. But we did it! Let’s check our score.

• Workaholic too busy for Christmas
• Single parent
• Clumsy Meet Cute
• Christmas Festival
• Christmas Tree lighting
• Christmas Baking
• Snowball fight
• Christmas puns
• Someone working in a nondescript corporate (I guess?!!) job instead of pursuing their real dream

Total score: 9/20

Time for You to Come Home for Christmas premiered on Hallmark Movies and Mysteries on Sunday, December 8.

So, I can’t just dive into this recap without pausing to reflect on the title of this movie. First of all, it is truly a terrible movie title. And I thought “Time for ME to Come Home for Christmas” was bad. But here, Hallmark has doubled down in the most aggressive way possible. And spoiler alert, this is actually a line in the movie later.

The movie begins with a flashback to a cute girl working away in a bakery. Her boyfriend shows up and she realizes she missed his whole band concert because she was so focused on baking. They turn the radio on and dance in the empty store.

Flash forward twenty years, and Alison Sweeney (Kat) is dragging a Christmas tree several blocks with her son. They finally get it up in their house. Her son Will has an unusually deep voice for a child of that size and a hair cut that is so 90s I press pause to check the date on this movie. Her mom calls and asks her if she’s coming home for Christmas. She’s like, it’s been two years since your husband died, Kat. It’s TIME FOR YOU TO COME HOME FOR CHRISTMAS. Kat is like, nah. I’m not ready. We are going to just stay in the city. Will overhears and is so disappointed since they didn’t go home last year that he decides to go to bed at 3pm.

Later, she collects his drawing materials and the picture he must have fallen asleep staring at. Is that duvet from pottery barn? I think my boys need it. No, mom please don’t buy it. Kat changes her mind and calls her mom. She’s like guess what, it IS time for ME to come home for Christmas. Her mom is like no, only I can say that in this movie otherwise it would be too confusing.

At the train station, they see a guy playing the guitar with a coffee cup in front of him. She puts a dollar in his cup and he’s like, no that’s just my coffee. He tries to give her the wet dollar bill and she’s like nah I don’t want that anymore. He’s like, well what am I supposed to do with a wet piece of currency? She’s like, just don’t spend it on alcohol or drugs. And he’s like no I’m not… ugh. She just keeps walking towards the train.

Inside the train, they realize they are seat mates. I wonder if they are on the Hogwarts Express because a cute little cart comes by with holiday drinks. The man pays for their drinks and Kat is like, no you don’t have to do that. And the man is like, no you’re paying for this. It’s your money. The cart lady is like, why is this bill wet?

Will and Jack get in a heated discussion about what the tenth item is in the song “The 12 Days of Christmas.” They are both wrong. Then, Kat notices him playing solitaire wrong and scoots next to him to help. He says he’s going to see an old friend for Christmas and she says she’s going to see her family but it is complicated and she doesnt want to chat about it with a stranger. They chat a little while they play. Why is this train all cutely decorated for Christmas? Is that a thing? Then, she falls asleep on him and is like, appropriately mortified. He’s fine about it.

Will wakes her up after like, the entire train has emptied out to get off the train. We see Jack looking at a map and then he walks away. Her parents meet them at the train station that is just decked out for Christmas.

They get home and Kat sees a photo of her and Tyler, she gets distracted when she goes to set it down and it shattered on the floor. Her dad is nice to her about it. She heads into her room and sees a super cute recipe book in the top drawer of her dresser. I want one of those! There are even pictures next to each recipe.

She heads to her family bakery. She overhears her mom agree to take another pre order for Christmas, even though the deadline has passed. This lady is like, my husband’s been DYING for your croissants since Thanksgiving. But like, then WHY DIDN’T YOU PRE ORDER ON TIME, KAREN?

Kat flashes back to dancing with Tyler while she’s in the bakery. Then she runs into her old friend Maggie. Maggie was in the band with Tyler. She’s running the Snowball, which is a Christmas Dance for adults in their town. Her husband Teddy isn’t filling in for Tyler though. He’s deployed through the new year. She invites her to hang with some old friends at the bar later. Then she sees her sister and they have a nice sister moment.

In Jack’s hotel or wherever he is, he is talking to a woman on the phone about missing Christmas. He has something he needs to do. She’s like, if you don’t find..and he’s like, I’m going to. Wait, is he Liam Neeson? Is he there to avenge someone’s death?

At the bar that night, Kat learns that Jack is the guitarist that is filling in for her deceased husband. Small world, indeed. Jack quotes Casablanca and Kat pronouces it “BLAYNKA” instead of “blahnka”. He says he was in the army. She asks how his friend was that he says he was coming into town to meet. He’s like, I haven’t seen him yet. Kat is like, boy that is super weird. Then Roger, the other original trio member shows up. After Jack leaves, Kat is like, isn’t it super weird that he’s here?

The next day, Kat asks Will to help decorate for the Snow Ball. It would give him a chance to be artsy. He’s like, I truly would rather do anything else. He agrees anyway. Maggie sets out painting stuff to paint some Christmas trees. Will is like, this set up is really cramping my creativity. I only have green and white paint for HEAVENS SAKE. Kat goes to find some more paint colors or something in a supply closet. She runs into Jack, standing alone in the hallway, staring at photos of servicemen. Not creepy.

Back at Kat’s, they are all stringing popcorn on fishing wire or whatever you string popcorn on. Her dad takes one bite of popcorn and her mom is like, you’re going to spoil your dinner. What? He tells them there is open skate at the rink this week. Yay! Kat goes outside to find Will. He is building a snow fort like he and his dad used to do. He doesn’t need any help from his mom though.

At the event hall or rec center or wherever this Snow Ball is taking place, the new trio practices. Maggie can’t remember the words. Okay, so are they paying Jack to do this? Otherwise, he answered an ad on Music Craigslist to travel at least eight hours to spend a week in a hotel in a town where he doesn’t know anyone. So, that is actually REALLY CRAZY. And anyone who accepts this job does so with the true intention of murder.

Kat brings Will over to see his other grandma. She’s been in town for two days at this point and she’s just now bringing him to see her? Rude. And she has a dog! Kat flashes back to another memory. She has a nice chat with her mother in law. They’re drinking tea though, which bums me out.

Kat heads to the bakery to do some work. She’s got her hair up so you know she means BZNS.

Tyler’s mom spends time with Will; sharing stories about Tyler. A weird cut and we’re back to the bakery. Kat says she is going to help Maggie gets trees. Jack is there waiting for her instead. He says she was busy so he volunteered…to murder Kat. Maggie says she needs as many as can fit in the truck. Jack notices that they play movies in the nearby barn. Tomorrow they’re playing one of his grandma’s favorites. She raised him. Then Kat shares that her husband passed away two years ago. He knows this already though because Roger told him at practice. He pretends that this is brand new information which is at once polite and creepy.

They bring the trees back to the event center. Will is painting away. Kat introduces Jack to her dad. Her dad pulls out a pocket watch. Jack notices. John, the dad, says he got it from their town bicentennial. Only the volunteers from that event got one. He apparently still uses it to tell time because he’s from the 1800s.

Jack goes to the library looking for old newspaper articles about the bicentennial. He snaps some pics on his phone. This B storyline is DEFINITELY NOT CREEPY.

Kat’s mom is working at the bakery and her hands start hurting. She and her husband have a nice old couple moment. He tells her it’s probably time to give this all up.

Kat takes Will to the ice skating rink. Jack shows up too. He asks the woman taking tickets something. She writes down a bunch of info for him. He asks if any of the men are still in town. She’s like, why do you need all their names? Jack is like, oh just for a Christmas gift…for me. Because murdering people is like a Christmas gift to me. Will notices Jack and invites him to skate. He talks Kat into joining him. She is terrible at skating and almost takes him down several times. At one point she almost like totally blows out his knee. He’s like, it’s fine. Worst, case scenario, I have a casual four day hospital stay to fix my ACL. Then he decides to skate backwards so he can just pull her. Then he and Will both pull her. They pay for skating after they’re done which is weird. She notices a photo of a woman and child in Jack’s wallet.

Later, Jack is at a hardware store inquiring about the owner. The employee smartly takes his info instead.

Maggie and Kat are back at the bakery. They chat about Teddy and then, Jack. Kat asks if he’s bringing anyone to the show. Maggie is like, I think he’s single. Kat is like, okay, again, isn’t this all super weird?

Back at the rec center, Jack is now helping with decorations for the Snow Ball. He makes a big blank canvas for Will to paint a mural of whatever he wants. The first non serial killer act he takes! He gets a picture message from his sister. Kat sees the picture and recognizes her as the one from his wallet.

Will invites Jack over for dinner. Kat is helping in the kitchen but Jack is outside helping Will with his fort. Frankly, it looks awesome and I want to be part of this. But he is doing it all in the dark and that is miserable work. Also, does it actually snow enough to make a fort anywhere in Virginia? I just don’t think that’s right. But you know, in Hallmarkland, it snows that much in Tennessee so anything is possible.

Kat goes out to check on them and ends up helping. But then they have a snowball fight instead. Stay focused guys! They go in to eat dinner. After dinner, Jack gets a call. He needs to head to the hardware store right away to follow up on his mysterious but DEFINITELY NOT MURDER project.

He heads to the hardware store and asks the guy a few questions. Again, we don’t know what in the word he is doing. He seems focused on people who volunteered at the Bi-Cenntenial event. Back at his house, he crosses another person off his list and looks at a pocket watch from that bicentennial event.

Kat walks in on her son watching old videos of Tyler playing in his band. They have a nice mother son convo and then they watch the rest of the video together.

The next day, Kat walks into the rec center? And sees Jack practicing all alone. She is horrified at the croissant he’s eating. I am horrified about how he keeps pronouncing it. He’s like this croissant reminds me of my grandma. She’s like no dude. And she throws it in the trash. He’s like but…my grandma. She’s like, if your grandma liked those, she was a garbage person. Come with me.

They head to the bakery. Instead of giving him a premade croissant on display in the bakery…that is seemingly closed in the middle of the day…she’s like, we’re going to MAKE croissants. Hope you didn’t have anything to do for the rest of the day! He’s like, you know, I would really just prefer to dig that other croissant out of the garbage and go about the rest of my day.

They work on the croissants and talk about…probably everything because they are there for conservatively, six hours. She says she wanted to take over the bakery but her husband got a job in Boston so that was the end of that. She asks why he’s there and he’s like, oh I’m just meeting a friend. And then doesn’t elaborate. And honestly, is he actually just there to murder everyone in that town? At least Kat will die wearing a great sweater. Isn’t that all any of us can hope for? That as a jury reviews crime scene photos of your murder, they’re like, well dang that is a cute sweater. It’s too bad those blood stains won’t come out. Jack finally says he is trying to repay someone who saved his life. Then the croissants come out of the oven and they do look beautiful. Jack is like, awesome. I haven’t eaten ALL day so I’m so stoked about these. He says thank you so much for throwing my croissant from earlier in the garbage because these are great. You should do this for a living.

Then, as they leave, for some reason there is mistletoe hanging from a light fixture right by the main entrance. I find this to be highly inappropriate in a place of business and baking. Jack notices and Kat feels awkward. They leave.

Kate walks back into her house. I remind myself to take notes about the garland because you better believe I’m stocking up on that stuff the day after Christmas. She goes and gets her recipe book and starts flipping through it. She then heads BACK to the bakery so she can try something with a recipe she has.

Jack talks to another guy about the watch.

Kat’s mom shows up while she’s baking and makes some comments about her being there.

Back at the event hall/rec center, Kat brings the cookies she made to Jack. Why? I can’t remember. She notices Will painting some of the stage with her sister and comments about how she hasn’t seen him this happy in a long time. Then Jack invites her to see a movie that night.

At the bakery, Kat and her sister chat about this movie situation over coffee. Kat notices a couple talking to her mom. Her sister says they’ve been in several times asking about buying the bakery. Kat is very shocked to hear this information. Kat is upset. Apparently these buyers want to turn the bakery into… A GASTRO PUB. I don’t even know what that is. I’m guessing it is a bar that also serves food? Anyway, it sounds horrible. Are they planning to have croissants? But the mom is like, dude I’m so old. Can’t you see how my hair is gray? I have no business running a bakery anymore. Then the mom asks her to frost some unbaked gingerbread cookies.

The mom is like, well you know, I always thought you were going to take over for me. And then Kat is like, oh yeah but now I am a bank teller so my career is pretty established and I can’t just leave Boston. This place isn’t my home anymore. And the mom is like, girl please.

That night, they head to the movies. It looks exactly like when the Gilmore Girls go see a movie in Stars Hollow. Like just a small collection of folding chairs set out in some big open room. Apparently Jack has a very specific spot he has to sit in at the movies. This is weird though because this is a very unusual and particular set up for a movie screening. Look, I’m picking the same spot or general area every time in a regular movie theatre. But in this setting? It is uncharted territory. How many small town make shift movie theatres has this guy been to? How many senseless murders have occurred by his hand? Anyway, they sit down and eat popcorn in the most polite way I’ve ever seen. Am I the only one who shovels handful after handful into my mouth before the previews are over? You’re telling me I’m the only person who eats the popcorn that falls on the counter after the cashier sets it down? Alright, fine. So then of course, they accidentally touch hands. Oh boy. Things are HEATING UP. After the movie, these animals still have like, most of their popcorn left. Then, Kat says she wants to write a Christmas card to one of the local soldiers currently deployed. They have booths all over town with a list of soldiers and cards. That is a really great idea. Jack eyes the list for his creepy NOT MURDER side project. Kat shares that Maggie’s husband’s full name is “Edward” not “Theodore” even though he goes by “Teddy”. I will never understand the history behind how certain men’s names get shortened.

When Kat gets home, she finds Will freezing his buns off in his fort. She lays next to him. She’s like, why didn’t you build a roof. And I’m like, Kat have you ever tried to build a snow fort? It is very difficult to built a roof. You need a lot of snow, and frankly some water too because you are not using any other structural support. Will says, that’s how his dad did it and again, I imagine his dad did it this way because it is very difficult to enclose a snow fort. But Tyler tells Will it is so they can look at the stars. Great work, Dad.

Back in his lair, Jack reviews his list of prospective murder victims. He notices Edward’s name and this seems to be a revelation to him.

The next day, Will is doing more backdrop painting with his aunt. Jack shows up for practice and they’re like, didn’t they tell you that practice is cancelled? And well, apparently they did not; which seems incredibly rude. But practice is cancelled because Teddy is coming home! Then we see Maggie greet Ted at the bus stop.

Back at the event hall or whatever, Will makes Kat close her eyes so he can reveal his mural. It’s pretty cute. Then Kat’s mom asks if Jack is coming over that night. Kat is like, well Maggie and Teddy will be there. And Jack is stoked because as we all know, he’s fixing to murder Teddy so, great!

Jack is sitting at the bar alone, being a total creep. Roger walks in to pick up some cider for the party. Jack is like, oh yeah, I didn’t plan to bring anything because I’m going to murder everyone there. Roger notices the pocket watch Jack is holding. It looks like the same one John had. He says it belongs to the man who saved his life. And now he’s here for revenge. Roger is like, what? And Jack is like, oh nothing.

Back at Kat’s, her sister says the couple made an offer on the bakery. And then she gives her a gift. It is a new frame to replace the one she shattered.

Jack arrives at the party; empty handed. Everyone is wearing great Christmas outfits. Will and Jack are hanging. Her sister suggests that Kat invite him to the dance. Maggie introduces her husband Teddy to Jack. Maggie leaves. Jack is about to tell Teddy that he thinks Teddy is the person who saved his life. But then, he looks over and sees the framed photo that Kat just got. He’s like, who is that? And he realizes that TYLER IS THE ONE WHO SAVED HIS LIFE. He walks outside.

Kat goes outside to find him. He shows her the watch and she recognizes it. The back says “until”. Kat is like beyond freaked out. She should be. She’s about to be murdered. Jack starts to explain why he has it. She explains the backstory behind the inscription. While they were both deployed overseas, Jack must have gotten injured pretty badly and Tyler saved him but was gone before he could get his name and he dropped the watch. Jack is sorry he waited so long to find him. Kat’s sister calls for her inside.

Kat goes to a church to light a candle, presumably for Tyler. Is it Christmas Eve? She is there alone. Her mom shows up. They have a nice conversation about grief. The Kat tells her mom about the watch and Tyler.

I realize for the first time that Jack is staying at a place called “The Cozy Inn”. YIKES. Jack talks to his sister about how it all went down.

It’s dance time. Kat looks great. She hands Will a box. It’s the pocket watch. She tells him about Tyler owning the watch. Will seems very happy to have the watch. They have a nice little moment together. Is Kat’s mom not going to the ball? Then Kat tells her mom she wants to help her run the bakery so don’t sell it PLZ! Her mom is like, I told you it was TIME FOR YOU TO COME HOME FOR CHRISTMAS.

At the Snow Ball, the band is playing and it’s decorated super cute. Where are these town dances in real life? Oh, a slow dance. Apparently, they don’t need the guitarist for that. Oh, Teddy is standing in for Jack. Everyone has orchestrated this so Jack can ask her to dance. Jack is looking his least serial killer. She seems uncomfortable. but guess what? He didn’t end up murdering anyone so you can chill. They have a really weird like lead up to their kiss. But then THEY KISS. And that’s it. Let’s see how we did.

• Single parent
• Clumsy Meet Cute
• Christmas Gala (dance)
• Christmas Baking
• Winter Athletics
• Snowball fight
• Someone working in a nondescript corporate job instead of chasing their real dream
• A sassy and wise best friend

Total score: 9/20

A Christmas Love Story premiered on Saturday, December 7 on the Hallmark Channel. This is the Hallmark Hall of Fame movie so you know its a BFD. You also know there’s going to be a BUNCH of touching Hallmark commercials. I wouldn’t know. I fast forwarded through ALL OF THEM. And there were ALOT of commercial breaks. Let’s get into it, shall we?

The movie begins with our lead, Katharine, directing a teen choir for presumably, a forthcoming Christmas concert. A teen boy coughs ominously. She sprays the rest of the choir in Lysol. They take a quick break and we learn that Katharine is very organized and punctual. She and her piano playing co teacher swap some sass back and forth. She does need to hustle out of there though because she has a fundraiser to attend. She heads to the party.

She is wearing a very lovely and very fancy dress to this school fundraiser. I guess school fundraisers in NYC are different than here. My kid did a jog a thon and I forgot to send his completed form back to the school. I think they also had a taco bar once. So anyway, here she is at this black tie fundraising Gala for the high school where she teaches. They talk about how there is a big wig music person writing the big finale number for their Christmas concert. He went to that high school and loves to give back. Apparently, each year, they write an original Christmas song, perform it on Christmas Eve live, release it on Christmas Day and earn enough money from individual song purchases to perform the next year’s concert. So, does the concert cost like, $100 to put on? You’re really making enough money from 99 cent song purchases each year? If so, get it girl. So anyway, it’s always a duet with her and a teen. We also learn that she is a former Broadway star. They ask if any of HER kids perform in the concert and she gives a great response-she says, yes; all 33 of them.

Scott Wolfe is a busy business person. He is too busy to go to Pete’s Tavern tonight with the boyz. He is focused on doing Christmas exactly how it’s always been done for his child at home. His assistant is decorating his office, sort of against his will. I am glad we get some explanation about how offices get decorated. Scott has a full on Christmas tree in his office. He’s like, okay chill out on the decor and go home. I’m not paying you for this. She’s like, I’m a salaried employee so I don’t get overtime anyway.

Back at Katharine’s gorgeous apartment, she calls Gavin, the big time music person. No answer.

The next day, Katharine is wearing a great emerald shirt. We learn that the teen boy that was coughing up a storm is out sick. She sprays the entire building with Lysol and douses each child in it. And then, we learn that Gavin is totally out for writing the song because his kids are taking him to Switzerland and he can’t do more than one thing at once. Brian, the co teacher, sends the kids all into a panic with this news. But wait. Why can’t Katharine do it? She only wrote and starred in a BROADWAY MUSICAL. But that was all in the past. She doesn’t do that anymore. Then, a tall little mouse boy shows up to volunteer. He says he can help with whatever. After rehearsal, she hears Danny singing and playing the piano. I think he is singing “It Came Upon a Midnight Clear” or some other traditional Christmas carol. Katharine is like, had you ever heard that song before today? And he’s like no. I’m like, wait, what? How is that possible? Or maybe it is that particular arrangement because he is maybe playing the piano from memory or from just hearing that music that day? I hope it’s that. She gives him some music to practice at home.

Later, she goes to the toy store with her cousin and her “niece”. Honestly, it is too confusing to figure out what her actual relationship would be. Second cousin once removed? Not in this day and age! Niece is just fine. Anyway, Katharine is like, pick out ANYTHING you want in the store. A helpful elf approaches to assist in this endeavor. The two cousins talk about how they will be spending Christmas apart this year. The cousin is headed to Minnesota to be with her in laws. She is so bummed to miss the big Christmas concert. The niece returns with a GIANT reindeer unicorn. Good choice!

Back at home, Katharine tries to start work on the finale song. She sends a text. Then tries to play one note and then gives up.

Then, she goes to the costume store to pick up wings for the Christmas concert. She is about to be running late and she can’t get a cab. She’s on the phone with Brian telling him her dilemma. Why doesn’t she use that ride share app he installed on her phone? She agrees and a car with reindeer antlers shows up immediately. She accidentally picked the car pool option though so when she shoves her bags filled with angel wings into the back seat, she realizes she is in the car with someone else. The one and only Scott Wolfe. Oh, Greg. She’s in a hurry and he’s got some time. Katharine directs the driver on the best route. Doesn’t she trust Waze? Apparently not. They pull up and Greg is like, yeah this stop works for me. He says his kid has an internship at a tech start up or something around here. Shouldn’t he realize they are actually going to the same place? Maybe not. Anyway, she bustles in with the angel wings and makes it in time for warm ups. Danny is there in the mix. It sounds like Levi, the sick kid, is going to be totally out for the concert so there is room for him to stay! She talks to Danny about this during the break. Then, Greg shows up! Danny is his kid! He’s like, what? I thought you were getting internship hours at a place of business? He’s not really mad…just like, surprised? Anyway, he’s like we have to go now. Danny can’t participate because we have this other plan that involves doing business things. Katharine’s like, just keep singing Danny!

Back at her house, Katharine keeps at the Christmas song. She just wanders around her apartment for a long time. She is wearing great red pants. She stands on her piano bench and sings so high that all the glass in her apartment breaks.

Back at school, they seemingly have a little Christmas choir social. She is wearing ANOTHER fantastic sweater. There should be a little link at the end of each ep that says where all the sweaters are from. I’ll pay ANY PRICE. She stresses over Danny and writing the song.

At Greg’s house, he passes on all the work adjacent Christmas parties. Why is he at home and everyone else is at work? His son brings down some boxes of Christmas decorations. They talk more about the choir and the finance start up deception. He’s like, dude you should just talk to me. I thought you wanted to do things the way we’ve talked about.

Katharine is still working on the song. In the framed playbill on her wall from her Broadway musical, she looks like she’s been airbrushed into oblivion. She pulls out the sheet music from that show. Then she gets a text from Danny. He seems like he has something to tell her but he changes his mind. Why are there so many Christmas lights in his bedroom? He looks at a music school on his computer.

Back at work, Greg talks to his coworker about the choir. His coworker is like you guys need to have some bro time.

Katharine and Brian check out the auditorium for the CHristmas concert. I am really digging the short sleeve sweaters this year. I don’t think they are for me though. They talk about Danny. Brian is like, it’s not like you can just call up his dad and talk to him. And she’s like, well actually that’s what I should do.

At home, she pulls her phone out, which is not in a case and calls Greg. He is making some amazing hot chocolate with cookies crumbled IN IT and then there is a full plate of cookies to dip into the hot chocolate. WHERE has this idea been all my life. It is EXACTLY what I need. He declines the call from Katharine because he thinks its a telemarketer. Same, girl.

Katharine practices more with the choir with another GREAT sweater. She is just killing it. She hasn’t heard from Greg but she’s like, I’ll just drive there. It’s the weekend. She decides to full on RENT a car for this expedition.

Greg and Danny are getting ready to go get a Christmas tree. Greg is like, Danny, where is your “Finding a Christmas tree” sweater? Danny is like, no I’m all set. Greg is like, no go get it. Then, Greg finally listens to the voicemails from Katharine. Right as she is knocking on his door, he is calling her back. Convenient. He invites her in and they talk about the concert and the choir. She’s like, dude it’s just one week of his life. You can chill about this. He’s like, okay I’ll think about it. Danny eavesdrops in the hall wearing his truly ugly sweater. Greg is like, okay I’ll think about it. Then Danny invites her to go get a tree with them. That way, she’ll have more time to convince Greg to allow Danny to be in the choir. She agrees. Greg asks to think about it over the weekend.

At the tree lot, Danny uses the power of his Christmas sweater to find the right tree. They all take the time to get to know each other better. Back at the Stanton’s, she gets ready to head out. Oh no! A winter storm advisory cautions everyone to stay inside. They encourage her to just spend the night. I think if I were Katharine, I would feel so insanely uncomfortable in this situation. I barely know these people. I have no change of clothes. No toothbrush. I might have risked death instead of staying over. But she agrees to stay. They make Christmas cookies. Katharine doesnt really do much baking. She hands Danny a spatula so they can sing. She sings in her Broadway voice and he sings in his normal nice teen voice. It’s weird. I feel awkward for them. After dinner, Danny heads out to make some money shoveling snow. Greg and Katharine start decorating the tree. She talks about her life on broadway. And then she looks at the tree and says it’s beautiful but Greg is looking at her and says, yeah it is. Oh, that is quick. She says Danny is a good kid and Greg says he was their “Gift”. Danny returns in time to help them finish decorating.

The next morning, we don’t see any of the awkwardness of Katharine wearing her same clothes. She sneaks out before they even realize. Greg digs out the record player and Nat King Cole. Katharine is back at her apartment and her cousin calls and says they have tickets to something tomorrow but her daughter has a sleepover and her husband is working so they’ll have to sell their tickets.

At Greg’s work, his coworker shows up in a very festive tie and a vest under his jacket. I love the whole lewk. Good news, the coworker has purchased a similarly festive tie for Greg to wear at the Christmas party. Great work, you guys.

Katharine shows Brian what she’s got so far on the big finale song. Brian sings a little of it. Hey! I need more of that guy singing in this movie. Sadly, we won’t get it. She has worked out about two lines of the song. I just LOVE her outfit. Then, Danny shows up to sing in the choir! Yay! They do some practice and Greg watches.

After practice, Greg invites her to go get something to eat. She’s like, oh shoot I have plans. Wait, you guys should come with me. They agree but guess what, it’s not eating. It’s going to see that show with Katharine’s cousin. Did they eat on the way? I hope so. The cousin is ecstatic to see them. After the show, Greg is like, can we please eat dinner now? I am close to death. But the cousin is like, no I have to go home. And Danny is like, can I go get hot chocolate with the choir kids? And Greg acts like a peak dad and Danny panics. It is a truly great moment. WHAT ABOUT DINNER YOU GUYS. Doesn’t anyone care? I am starving on their behalf. Greg and Katharine agree to go out to eat and Katharine is like, I know a great place. She takes them to get some kind of Christmas dessert and I collapse in despair. I know Kristin Chenoweth is like a tiny little bird woman who probably weighs less than a hundred pounds but we can’t just skip dinner. And we can’t say that this tiny little desser is going to be enough! Look, I LOVE treats. I can eat my weight in almost any kind of Christmas dessert. But I cannot just SKIP dinner. And a Christmas dessert from a stand in the park is not any kind of replacement. Greg is probably dying at this point. What kind of life can he have with this little bird woman who thus far, we’ve only seen eat Christmas desserts?

They sit on a bench and learn more about each other. She panics to him about the song and he gives her some encouragement. Back at home, it all finally comes to her.

Greg stops by to check on Danny. Danny seems like he wants to tell Greg something but chickens out. Then Greg suggests they stay up all night watching Christmas movies. He suggests kettle corn which isn’t my first choice but I won’t complain.

Katharine works on the song and Brian comes in. He loves it. And I love BOTH their sweaters. Danny and Nora chat after practice and she asks if he’s coming over later to rehearse. Danny asks his dad if he really needs a wingman for his Christmas party. Danny suggests that Katharine attend in his place. Katharine is like, I’d love to go! Nice work Danny. Brian gives her a LOOK. Katharine’s cousin just FREAKS out in the best way about this Christmas party. I love her.

Greg waits outside for Katharine. She looks GREAT. I am dead over her dress. They have a great time at the party. Everyone loves her. Then he has to be Santa Claus and she dresses up as Mrs. Claus and they throw kitschy gifts to people at random. We are ALL having a great time.

They decide to walk a little bit before getting a cab. He gives her a snowglobe. She tells him that she once had a child and that she placed the baby for adoption. Then, THEY KISS. She hops in a cab and heads home. That’s good because I need to recover.

The next morning, Katharine is working on the song again. Then, she looks out the window and sees a family swinging a little girl as they cross the street and seems a little sad. She is crushing it with a burgundy sweater dress. She gets out a folder with her adoption paperwork. Then she calls her cousin. She tells her about the date. She decides she wants to find out about the baby she had adopted. The cousin yells a great line to the kids she’s sitting with-no snowballs at people over 30 and well, that is a great rule.

She calls Danny and Greg over to see the finished finale song. And Danny is going to sing it! Don’t they have like 2 days to practice. Whew that is stressing me out. Song practice montage! Are we supposed to not hear it until the end?

Katharine walks back to her house and gets a call from the adoption agency.

Greg walks in to Danny’s room where he is asleep, and turns out his light. Danny’s room is EMACULATE. He sees his computer screen open too….Berklee Music school. Look, I would be devastated too. If I am going to schill out 40k/year for my kid, they are going to earn a marketable degree.

At the auditorium, Katharine is there with Danny. And guess what, SHE IS HIS MOM. I knew it as soon as she mentioned that she had a child that was adopted. So apparently, Danny knew and part of doing the choir stuff was that he had sought her out. You guys, he is like over six feet tall. Tiny little Kristin couldn’t be his mom. They have a nice moment. She says she’s so glad Megan was his mom. And she says she’d like to be friends. I think that is really nice. But also, I do think Greg should be involved in all of this. He hasn’t told his dad. She says tell him when he’s ready but I feel like she as the adult should be encouraging him to be forthright with his dad.

Choir practice in the big auditorium. Greg stops by after and wants to take her to dinner. So now she feels weird about Danny and stuff so she’s trying to push Greg away. Danny looks over and sees her shutting him down.

That night, Danny approaches Greg at their house. He tells Greg why he went to the choir practice in the first place. He tells her that Katharine is his birth mom. Greg is stunned. Danny tells her that he told Katharine today. He says it doesn’t have to change anything for Greg and Katharine. What a nice kid.

Greg gets out his old record player and listens to Nat King Cole.

The next day, Katharine is bustling about in her apartment. She continues to use her phone without a case. It’s a rose gold iPhone so I can kind of understand but still, get a clear case girl!

Greg gives Danny a nice pep talk about college right before he goes on stage. Her co teacher gives her a good pep talk about Greg and love or whatever.

Greg’s coworker is in attendance. Does anyone else find a concert scheduled on Christmas Eve to be incredibly inconvenient? Katharine walks out in a totally GORGEOUS gold dress to conduct the choir. But, um… none of the kids are wearing the angel wings. I don’t see them ANYWHERE. Also, she was only carrying those two bags earlier which was NOT enough for all 33 kids. But still, not a single child is wearing a set. What happened to those wings!!?? Danny looks over at Nora while he sings. FOCUS GIRL. This concert lasts days. And now it is time for the big fancy money making number with Danny. He gets to sing it with Kristin. I know we’ve got to give Kristin a solo in this movie but I think if this were real life, they should have had two kids sing it. Greg is moved to tears. Danny is great. I do like this song. They get a standing ovation.

After the concert, Katharine walks over to Greg and Danny. Why didn’t Danny text Katharine already? He just tells her that he told his dad. She says thank you to him for raising him and giving him a great life. She says meeting them has been a huge blessing. She tries to be formal with him. And he’s like no. Maybe this is all kind of, like meant to be. He tries to make a joke and poor Katharine doesn’t get it again. Oh he invites her to spend Christmas in Connecticut. Isn’t that a movie too? Danny looks on.

The next morning, Katharine is over at the Stantons for Christmas. She bought pie. She loves to buy pies and she loves to buy “things.” Truer words. She buys him a Santa spatula so he can sing along with them. She is wearing a great red dress. He tries to sing and she stops him. OH they are standing under mistletoe in the middle of their living room. That is a weird place for it. Danny comes in singing with his spatula. Oh they all three have spatulas and Katharine takes the HIGH HIGH operatic harmony but it works. Well that ended up being super cute. Let’s see how we did.

• Single parent
• Clumsy meet cute
• Christmas Pageant
• Christmas baking
• Snowball fight
• Christmas puns
• A sassy and wise best friend ( I think they’ve each got a couple)
• Christmas montage

Total score: 8/20

Sense, Sensibility and Snowmen premiered on November 30, 2019 on Hallmark Movies and Mysteries. I am assuming it takes some inspiration from the Jane Austen novel, “Sense and Sensibility” but I never read that so I don’t know. This is my last post from the Thanksgiving marathon so let’s get this done!!

We begin at Dashworks Event production. It looks like they are having their annual holiday party. Ella our lead, has some reindeer ears on. Ella and her sister Mary Anne own the party planning business together.

In a big fancy office, our lead make an anncounemt to his staff. The Laurent toy store owners are interested in selling their toys in their toys. After that two second announcement, he asks a woman with him how she thinks that went. He was there for one second?

Mary Anne and Ella chat at home in great sweaters. Ella has some big visions for the business. Mary Anne is like not super stoked about that. She’s happy with how things are. Ella is bummed. Mary Anne shares that she is not seeing her boyfriend Willoughby anymore. That must be a call back to Sense and Sensibility. Ella tries to activate Mary Anne’s dating profile and Mary Anne is like, no I’d rather read a book. I like these two sisters.

Later in some office lobby, Ella stares at the Christmas decor and then stares at a painting. She sees the male lead and they say hi. He says the painting is nonsense. I agree. Ella is like WHAT I love this painting. He’s like no it looks like a child painted it. She is like okay. This is not going well. He’s like, let me try again. You seem like you are stoked about Christmas given that BOLD accessory. It is a super cute scarf. I can’t really wear scarves. I feel it makes me look and feel suffocated. Mary Anne arrives and saves Ella from more awkward small talk. They are at this building to settle details about their dad’s estate. Mary Anne and Brandon seem to hit it off right away. Ella is a straight up goofball.

Back at work, the Edward’s dad and mom just pop by his office. SO FUN. His dad used to run things and seems like he can’t let go. When do the Laurents arrive? The dad is like, this is super important so don’t screw it up. You’ll have to be less of a business robot though. He’s like, great talk.

Ella talks to Mary Anne about expanding the business again. Mary Anne is like, you have no idea the work involved in expanding. Ella is like, let’s do all of that. Mary Anne is like, I just wish you’d do a good job of the stuff you’re actually supposed to work on. Mary Anne is like, you should also just get your own place. It seems like that house is plenty big for them together though so why wouldnt they be roommates?

Oh boy. Edward is in a magazine. The article is not flattering about him and his toy business. The magazine also found its way to the Dashworks office. Who is that cutie, asks an employee? Ella is not impressed. She wears another great sweater.

Outside the big office building, Edward greets the Laurents who are in from Paris. They are so stoked about being in Chicago for the first time and seeing all the Christmas stuff! His coworker helps mention a few Christmas activities. They’re like, tough break with that article bro. Edward blurts out that they’re having a Christmas party in his attempt to demonstrate how acquainted he wants to be with the Laurents. His coworker is like, dude why do you have zero chill.

The sisters run through the final check list for a big party. Everything is all set except the music, which Ella did not take care of at all. What was she doing? She seemed to think her only job was identifying a band that would be good for the event. Sure enough, the band is not coming. Mary Anne is so annoyed because now she has to find a replacement.

Later, they are at the party. Ella introduces Mary Anne to a woman that hired them and she was very pleased with the event. Ella was like, see it all worked out? Mary Anne was like, yeah no thanks to you!

Later, Ella drowns her sorrows at a bar. She overhears two dudes talking about how they need a party planner. She realizes it’s her lawyer and Edward! They are cousins. She’s like, oh never mind. I don’t want to help YOU plan a party. Edward is like, yeah I wouldn’t want YOU to plan my party either. Brandon is like, you guys. Don’t be such silly geese. And then Ella sees dollar signs because it would be for the company Christmas party. Edward is like, okay charge me whatever is fair. And Ella is like, we’ll just charge you our normal rates. The market decides whether or not that is fair!

Back at the girls’ home, Ella is wearing a truly phenomenal sweater. They are still in a little bit of a fight about the night before. Ella is working on the party for Edward. She tells Mary Anne how they got this great gig! Mary Anne is like, hard pass. I’m going to end up doing ALL the work and I’m not into it. Ella is like please? And Mary Anne is like, okay just be better at your job this time okay?

Ella meets Edward’s assistant and is like, oh! You have a six year old. She seems surprised that Ella knows this. Ella sees the original “Ferris Bear” on his desk and flips. They begin doing the party planning. I just truly feel that Edward would not be involved in any of this. She would probably just do it right? They would say here is our budget, just plan our Christmas party. That’s why we hire someone. Right? What’s with these CEOS being SO busy but having time to participate in party planing and interior decorating? Ella suggests the employees do a choreographed dance but she is not making a joke. The assistant and Edward pat her on the head.

Back at Dashworks, sweet little puppy dog Brandon drops off some paperwork for Mary Anne. They are adorably awkward with each other.

Ella and Edward take a walk together. He tells her how he got is start at the company. He worked his way up from an intern, even though his dad owned the company. So that is nice. He is the OPPOSITE of a risk taker. Ella says she’s bounced around from job to job. She is just a FREE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT. She tells him about her dreams to revitalize Dashworks.

They go to a venue. I believe it is spelled “Wabash”. Ella pronounces it Wah-BASH but I have always pronounced that word “WAH-bash” and I think I’m right. She says they need to settle on a theme. She lists a bunch and is mad when he picks one of the ones she selects. How does he personally celebrate? Well with end of the year business things. He always gives his father a financial ledger for Christmas. Cool. She says she and her sister go out telling “Yuletide stories”. I’m not sure what that is about. Then they apparently let cookies sit out all night uncovered for “Santa.” Edward says NO glitter and they can only have one color.

The girls go to some kind of Christmas square for the tree lighting. Ella loves it. They run to Brandon and Edward. Did Brandon and Mary Anne agree to meet up? Edward is there because the Laurents are there. MaryAnne and Brandon ditch them. The Laurents arrive. Ella introduces herself to them. The Laurents ask for ideas of things to do and Ella tees Edward up for success in a weird game of “Let’s Finish Each Other’s Sentences.” Ella and Edward exchange a nice look as the tree lights up.

The next day, Edward’s assistant’s child care bailed so she brought him to work! Ella plays with him for a little bit until Edward and the assistant show up. Ella sits on the floor with the toys while she talks to Ella. Then Lucy shows up. She is a senior executive. Lucy says if they reduce mobility of the truck by 5% they can make more money. I don’t even understand how that could be a measurable thing. Lucy makes a comment about how they were once prom dates.

They head back to the venue. They have to do e-bites because the party is so last minute. Then they do a tasting for the food for the party. Edward is stoked to sample some food. Same, girl!! I love a good sample tasting sesh! Ella shares that she would love to spend Christmas with her parents one more time. Edward feels bad for stuffing his face. Then Ella is like, we should definitely have escargot at the party. Here try some. Ella is like, I’ve definitely eaten it before and I like it so I don’t need to eat any now. Edward is like, no let’s just have crab cakes. And yes, I agree. In the words of Mary-Kate from the classic film “It Takes Two”; “This tastes like a balloon.”

Ella and Edward head to… the Dashworks HQ? There, he tells her he needs some interior decorating help for a cocktail hour he’s hosting for the Laurents.

Back at the girls’ home, Ella tells Mary Anne that she is going to help decorate Edward’s home. They could add this service to their business too! Christmas interior decorating! But what’s going on with Brandon? Nothing Mary Anne says unconvincingly. Ella gets an email from her friend about a screenwriting class. She prints it out and is like, oh that sounds cool. Then the employee dishes about her new boyfriend. They have NOTHING in common but they just click. Guess what, that gets super annoying real fast. Edward pops by to…pick her up? He’s bummed that they don’t get to pick out a tree together.

There is not a strand of garland or a Balsam Hill box in sight in Edward’s giant house. Edward just starts putting ornaments on. No lights…We miss the whole thing. He brings back two cups of some sort of warm beverage. They both chat about their European travel experiences. She mentions the screenwriting class. But she says she is too happy working with her sister. She asks what his dad thought about the new truck design. And then she asks what the kids thought. He’s like, kids? What kids? She is aghast that he consulted parents. Like look, I’m going to tell you to not design the toy to keep making noise minutes after I accidentally step on it in the middle of night as I try to stealthily sneak out of my kids’ room in the middle of the night. So it is important to get parents insight.

Brandon asks Mary Anne on a date.

Then, Ella agrees to watch the assistant’s son Thomas for the day. What is happening with this woman’s childcare? Edward asks to tag along. They go see Santa at Brandon’s work. Brandon is not billing any hours and dons a festive elf hat. Thomas, gives Santa long list. Edward tells Ella that he wanted to be an elf when he grew up. Later, Ella wears a great pea coat. They have to kill more time while Edward’s employee is running late. In what world is his assistant working and HE is watching her child? Anyway, they build a snowman. Ella makes Edward take off his likely very expensive tie and puts it on the snowman’s head. Then he throws a snowball at her. Then the assistant finally shows up to retrieve her child.

Back at Edward’s house, Ella drops by with pie. It’s the night of the big cocktail hour. He asks her to stay. Good thing she’s wearing a cute pink pea coat! She adjusts his color and he is a little startled by it. They have a lovely time. Is that woman doing a fake accent or is she really French? I can’t tell. Either way, it’s….not great. Edward tells them how the original Ferris bear was created. The Laurents are pleased with everything though.

Back at Dashworks, Mary Anne sees the print out for the screenwriting class. She’s bummed.

Edward and Ella go out for MORE DRINKS. They talk about Dashworks and other stuff. She asks what he does for fun. He can’t be all graphs and flowcharts, right? Oh cool. Edward is super into ping pong. Ella laughs hysterically.

Ella gets home and Mary Anne is sitting silently in the kitchen. She shows her the screenwriting thing. Ella is like, no I decided not to do it. Mary Anne was like, you thought about it? Ella was like yeah but I decided not to. Ella is kind of offended that Mary Anne would think that about her.

THe next day, ELla and Edward walk outside and look at his iPad. Ella seems distracted. He notices. She doesn’t want to saddle him with her personal drama. He is a little belittling to her. He suggests buying her an overly complicated holiday beverage. Ella delivers with her order. Sounds good though. Ella says that Mary Anne called her an irresponsible goof. That is actually exactly how I would describe her. He’s like, do you want to make a business plan? Ella is like, nah, I’m good. He’s like okay help me Christmas shop at this expensive outdoor market. She’s like hey get this gaudy snowman scarf for yourself. He’s like nah. Then he asks who her type is and she says Frosty the Snowman. Then they see a really cute snowflake necklace and the vendor is like, you should buy that for your girlfriend! But she sounds like she’s straight out of a Charles Dickens novel for some reason. Then she’s like, thanks for the pep talk! I’ll see you later.

The next day, Ella is at the office with some checks to sign. She pronounces Wabash incorrectly again…in my view. Ella says, you know, maybe I should make one of those…what did you call it? A business plan? Edward is like yay! I already made you one. Hahaha, they spelled “summary” wrong on the presentation. They walk down the hall to a genuine kids focus group. They seem to be playing with all kinds of toys. Lucy and Edward’s dad walk by; shocked by what they are witnessing. Edward has really let his hair down. His dad is like, are you at least taking notes and asking questions about which toys they like and don’t like? And he’s like neiiighby? As he holds up a toy horse. Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. He didn’t really say that. Nobody has ever said that.

Back in the office, Edward checks in to see how Ella is feeling about her argument with her sister. They have not made up yet.

That night at home, Ella goes over her notes. Ed says there is a festival crisis at the holiday square! Ooooh, Brandon brought Mary Anne. These boys. Getting their gals together like this. They are going to a gingerbread contest event. But, instead of having the girls on the same team, they pair up by couple. Ella is eating some of the stuff. Oh, so is Edward. But like, gingerbread house gingerbread isn’t very good is it? They all have a grand ol time. Ella’s ends up being like, truly gorgeous so she wins first place. MaryAnne and Brandon win second.

Then Ella gets a call. Uh oh. The Wabash center booked their event on the wrong day? So they don’t have a venue anymore.

They head back to HQ to figure something out. The venue is clearly in the wrong but the best they can do is offer them a free party in January. COOL. THANKS. Brandon decides to order pizza. Then Ella gets an idea. They will just have the party at Edward’s! It’s definitely big enough for 100 people. The sisters have a nice moment. Brandon overhears them talking about him. It’s great.

At Edward’s house, he talks to his parents about wanting to really be in charge without his dad looking over his shoulders. His dad and mom drink out of cute his and hers mugs. Where are those from? Then Edward is like, should us three business robots take a “selfie” together? They do. They nail it.

Back at Dashworks, the sisters have some more nice moments. Ella gets the selfie from the robots. Mary Anne is like, when are you going to stop being such a dummy dumb? You like him, he likes you. Let’s get this done alright?

That night, Ella and Edward go back to the holiday square with the Laurents. He sends them on a sleigh ride. They have a nice conversation about how Edward is getting into the Christmas spirit and how glad he is about that. He gives her a gift. It’s the first of their new line of Ferris Bears. And around the bear’s neck is that cute necklace from before. Well that is a pretty significant gesture. Edward says he knows her type-it’s Frosty the snowman. She’s like, I like a guy in a nice hat. And well, guess what? He’s wearing a hat! Then they go on a sleigh ride.

It’s party time! Ella leads Edward downstairs with a blindfold (tie). For what purpose though? Hasn’t he been home the whole time? Anyway, the downstairs does not look like his house whatsoever. It is truly way too big. But the decorations are great. The Laurents approach him to say they’ve decided to do business with him. Edward and Ella have a nice celebratory moment and then they dance. Brandon and Mary Anne dance too. MaryAnne is like, just tell Ed you like him already. She is about to but then his assistant approaches and is like, Lucy is looking for you. Lucy is really pleased with the party and then tells Edward about her boyfriend. They hug. Ella is watching from afar and totally misinterprets. Mary Anne approaches her and is like,great job on the party. Another employee is like, hey find Edward. He needs to make a toast. Ella goes to find him and then overhears him tell a board member that shouldn’t hire Ella’s firm. He says the girls are “unsuitable” for that party. Ella approaches him coldly and tells him its time for his speech. She’s like, I heard what you said. That really hurt my feelings. And he’s like oh no that’s not what I meant. But then Lucy is like SPEECH TIME NOW GIRL. And Ella leaves and Edward goes to make the speech. Ella tells Mary Anne that she wants to go home so she leaves.

Ella sits at home eating cookies or chocolate or something in THE MOST FABULOUS SWEATER. I can’t stand it. She is so bummed about Lucy and what Edward said about thei company. Mary Anne feels bad. Mary Anne shows her all the business cards they got. Mary Anne is like, you should stop eating those cookies because they’re for Santa. Um….

Ed calls and she ignores it.

It’s Christmas morning and these girls bought way too many presents for each other. But I guess if I only had one person to buy gifts for I could go a little crazy. It is a cute moment. The last gift Ella has for Mary Anne is a financial ledger and she says she’s been working on a business proposal too. She promises to spell “summary” correctly. Mary Anne is touched. Then she says she is going to move out after January.

Over at Ed’s house, his parents are over for Christmas. He is wearing one heck of a sweater and there are Christmas cookies galore. Brandon steps by. He says he’s heading to see MaryAnne. Edward is like, can I come too?

They show up and Ed is facing away from her as she approaches, like a weird. Still committed to that white mock turtleneck sweater. He’s like, I was trying to protect you from that board member because he is a nightmare and he never pays his bills on time. She’s like oooooooh. I’m sorry for being such a drama queen then. But there’s still the matter of Lucy. And he’s like no no we’re just friends and coworkers. They decide to go back to the holiday square. It’s totally empty.

Ed shares his feelings for her. Then he shows her that he’s wearing the silly snowman scarf she wanted him to buy. He’s like, we are the best pair. She then takes a turn sharing her feelings. And then, they KISS. And then it snows.

Back at the girls’ house, they all have a nice evening together. No one says anything to Edward about his sweater.And that’s it! Let’s see how we did.

• Workaholic too busy for Christmas
• Clumsy Meet Cute
• Christmas Tree Lighting
• Snowball fight
• Christmas puns
• A sassy and wise best friends

Total score: 6/20

Christmas Town premiered on December 1 on the Hallmark Channel. It stars MY GIRL Candace. I love Candace Cameron Bure but honestly, her Hallmark movies can be hit or miss. Let’s not forget an actual movie Hallmark made last year- A Shoe Addict’s Christmas. But let’s let the past stay in the past. Let’s dive in!

We start right away with a flashback of a little girl at Christmas opening up a Christmas present. It’s an angel tree topper. Cooool. Great present, Dad. But then he immediately drops the angel and it breaks. He was feeling a little dizzy. He says they’ll send it back to Grandon Falls and get it fixed.

Flash forward to present day. Candace (Lauren) is wearing a great skirt in Boston. But she’s moving. She got a teaching job in Springfield. Apparently there aren’t many jobs in Boston. At that moment, my husband did a job search of teaching jobs in Boston and found over 1500 so, come on Lauren. Her boyfriend Eric is so busy in London that apparently she hasn’t even had a chance to tell him about this major life change.

At her house, all packed up, she sees letters from her dad and a broken angel wing from that tree topper. She stops by her boyfriend’s house and he’s home. He got a new job! He’s like, come on in and let me tell you about it. She’s like, well I have a cab waiting so I can’t stay. But I wrote you a letter so figure it out! He apparently has not been paying attention to her at all. Or has she not been telling him this information? So I guess that’s it for them.

This is the year of trains for hallmark movies. This is the third movie featuring a train and I know there are more on the way. She rides the train that is all decorated for Christmas. The train needs to make an unexpected stop overnight because of an obstruction on the track. They are stopping in Grandon Falls. Hey that sounds familiar. At the station, she sees a guy waiting under a Taxi sign and assumes that he is a cab driver. She has all her luggage and makes him carry it. She is surprised to see his truck outside. Oh, now she feels bad. I don’t want to inconvenience you she says as she puts more stuff in the truck. He introduces himself as Travis. Then the train conductor also asks to hitch a ride with Travis. So they all ride in together in the single bench of the cab.

There are a butt load of Christmas activties in this town. Just overflowing with decorations. It’s my favorite kind of Hallmark town. And then we learn that Travis is a foster parent to a boy named Dylan. And then we find out there is no room at the Inn. Where is Edgestone when you need it? He takes her to this other strange man’s business where she can stay upstairs. It appeared to be a junk shop. What about all the other train passengers? Where are they supposed to stay? Rod takes her upstairs to a creepy loft. She tells her cat this is so much better than a hotel but… is it?

She heads next door to the Christmas cafe. It is so cute I die. Aunt Zelda (Betty in this movie) works there. She hands her a free gingerbread cookie. No fair! On the wall there are a bunch of photos. She sees a picture of her dad holding the angel tree topper. Betty asks her if she’s okay. She’s like, that picture of my dad on your wall! She then remembers she’d heard of the town before. He passed away when she was six, seems like maybe the same year as the flash back. She wonders where she could go to find the part of the angel that her dad sent away to be fixed. Well at the place she’s staying! She gets a text from Eric and ignores it. Travis is stringing lights on a tree outside. She tells him about the photo on the wall. Travis says it was nice to meet her.

Her cat is being a nice cat and just sitting on her bed. She asks Rod, the junk shop owner, about the Christmas Angel. She carries the broken wing with her. Rod says it looks familiar but he’s not sure why. He has a store filled with old junk though so she is welcome to rifle through it at her leisure! She goes through some of her dad’s letters. He somehow had already written letters for her for for all her birthdays for after he died.

No luck at sorting through all Rod’s junk. She takes a break at Betty’s. Betty calls the other passengers “Train Folk”. Lauren offers to help clean up plates at the cafe. Soon she has an apron on and is helping Betty out. Travis shows up to fix the sink. Betty has approximately 70 trees in her establishment. Travis introduces his foster son to Lauren. Betty is just passing out cookies. Betty must not actually offer them for sale. She just gives them away. How is she making any money? Travis sees Lauren all aproned up and is like, cool are you staying! Betty looks on and sings that song Mrs. Potts sings in Beauty and the Beast.

Rod sells random boxes of junk to people. This woman gives the one she picks out to Betty. Oh it’s Betty’s silent partner, Gloria. Gloria is actually an elementary school teacher too. Lauren offers to watch the store while Betty takes a break because apparently Lauren just works there now? Lauren passes out more free cookies to two little boys. One is Dylan’s and the other is Liam. They are both there with Liam’s mom. She talks to the mom about the fires in the neighboring town of Rocklin. Apparently, a fire burned down their entire city so they are all staying in the Inn in Grandon Falls. Look, you guys, make it a flood. That makes more sense for Massachusetts, right? A fire destroying an entire town? In that climate? Doubt it. Dylan says that Liam is joining the hockey team. Dylan keeps giving his coats away to all the kids from Rocklin who don’t have coats. He wants to find more clothes for kids. Lauren says she was in foster care too growing up.

Betty and Gloria sort through the box of junk and see the ANGEL. She selects a bell for Lauren’s cat. Betty decides to throw all the rest of it in the trash.

Betty tries to pay Lauren for her work. Betty is like, I need someone to help out around the holidays. Why don’t you stay and help me? She sees Travis again and he smiles at her.

There is a Salvation Army bell ringer and Lauren donates money. Lauren seems to get a good idea. She runs back in the cafe to tell Travis that she wants to do a “charity drive” and encourage people to donate all kinds of things. Lauren is like, I’d definitely stay and help. Lauren is like, I’ll just stay for a couple more weeks helping! And she agrees to stay on at Betty’s. She tells Travis they could meet tomorrow. Travis is supposed to get a tree while Dylan is at hockey. He invites Lauren to go chop the tree down with him. She’s like I’m more of an inside cat than a woodsy dog.

They walk through the woods and Travis says he used to be an architectural engineer…I think? Anyway he says he gave all that up and moved to Grandon Falls. She shares her story too.

Travis tells a little bit of the back story of Dylan. He’s lived with Travis for 8 months but has been in foster care for four years. He got close to being adopted but the families all kept moving away before the adoptions were finalized. This is actually really ridiculous. I would not necessarily be surprised if it turns out that this happens a lot. But adoption, even from foster care is such a long process that I would just find it strange that a family would go through all that just to be like, oh we have to move before the adoption is finalized. I got a new job while we were in the process of adopting our kids and I literally just pushed my start date back so we could finalize our last adoption before we moved. There are plenty of other reasons that adoptions fall through though. Often it is because the state finds a biological relative of the child. Lauren was in foster care her whole life after her dad passed away. Let me also give a special shout out to end of life planning! Designate a caregiver for your children in your will, especially if you don’t have a bunch of family that will immediately step in. Message me and I can help find someone to put together a will or something. Alright, back to the movie.

Lauren comes up with a few names for their charity drive and they settle on Rebuild Rocklin. Travis lives in a beautiful huge house with a WHITE PICKET FENCE. Her dream. He bought it as a fixer upper and he and Dylan have been living in it while he works on it. How does Travis make any money? He has a tool chest in the living room. Lauren is wearing a great sweater and necklace. Travis tells her it’s the law to help decorate the tree. And we have a Christmas Tree decorating montage! Travis offers Lauren to put the topper on the tree but she lets Dylan do it. He gets on Travis’s shoulders and does it.

Later that night, Travis drops Lauren back off at Rod’s junk shop. Her cell rings. It’s that dummy Eric. She ignores the call.

Travis shows up to Betty’s and she asks him to take out the trash. They see the box of junk on the trash can and Dylan notices the broken angel. He wants to fix it up so Travis lets him take it. Lauren re reads another letter from her dad. Her eighteenth birthday.

She calls Eric back finally. He is drinking coffee out of a cute mug. He says he read her letter so many times. He had to tell her that things had changed for him about having kids and all that. He’s like, I’ll write you a letter! Text me your new address. She’s like, well I’m in Grandon Falls but I’ll text you an address.

Back at Betty’s she sees Liam’s mom. She is so grateful for the charity drive that Lauren put together. She wants to help. Lauren meets Dylan’s case worker. Later, she offers to help Travis finish decorating his house if he gives Betty a discount on the re wiring of the cafe. He’s like, okay but you have to sing carols with us also. She agrees.

They all sing Silent Night together outside. Later, while they put the lights up outside…at night, Dylan says it is like making the house look happy. Travis says his dad said Christmas lights are like landing lights for people in heaven. Dylan decides to make a snowman. In the dark. Travis invites Lauren to go ice skating the next day. She says, you’re going to miss him when he gets adopted. And he says, it’s not about me. It’s about him and finding him a forever family. Lauren says they need a picture. Why can’t ol Trav adopt him? Guess what, if you are a foster parent, you CAN adopt the kid you are fostering. Especially if they are legally free as it appears Dylan is.

Lauren looks through the junk shop some more for the angel. Travis walks with Dylan to school. Dylan says, if someone wants to adopt me, am I going to lose you? And Travis says, never. He then asks him to fix the angel for him. Travis is like, but that was kind of your project so… Dylan runs off into school. He asks if he’s still up for Lauren’s surprise. But I don’t remember her telling them she had a surprise.

Lauren shows up to “work” and Gloria and Betty are putting more ornaments on her bazillion trees. Betty tells the story of how she came to own the cafe. Lauren flips through a Balsam Hill catalog and tells them how she dreamed of living in a big house and having lovely Christmases like in that catalog. Wouldn’t be a CCB movie without some Balsam Hill plugs!

Later, they go ice skating. Dylan shows off on the ice. They both seem just fine at ice skating. Dylan invites her to the Christmas dance that weekend. Then he skates off. Travis and Lauren have a nice skate and chat. He shares about a failed engagement with a woman named Kayla. Kayla decided she wanted to move to Miami so they broke up. That is a weird decision, frankly. That night, the boys drop her off at the junk shop. And we have another Balsam Hill plug. Oh, Gloria and Betty set up a gorgeous tree in her room. I am touched. Dylan and Travis were in on it. Oh, the surprise was FOR Lauren. Dylan hopes there are snacks. Same, bro-ham. And now we have a Christmas cookie eating montage. Oh the very best kind of montage. The cat is like can you guys be quiet? I’m napping. She finally starts purring when everyone leaves. She ignores a call from Eric. He’s supposed to be writing a letter anyway!

There is a big donation barrel outside the cafe. Gloria is inside crunching numbers. She’s supposedly on school break. Betty passes out cranberry muffins. Is she making any money? Lauren asks Gloria if there are any openings at the elementary school in town.

That night, Lauren watches Dylan. He’s like, could you watch me more often? Even if you live in Springfield? He says he likes having her there and wishes she wouldn’t move. Then he asks her what her foster care experience was like. She says it was mostly good. She is super vague though which is probably appropriate for Dylan’s age and the fact that it’s bedtime. Did she ever have someone try and adopt her and then stop? Twice, she says. He is a little sad about the Conrads, who backed out of adopting him. But he’s okay because he likes Travis. Lauren’s dad wrote her a nice letter about God always giving us hope, even when doors close. Even when we don’t understand. And well, that is a nice message for that sad little boy. And I don’t get emotional about that moment at all so don’t worry about that. And then he prays and asks to keep Lauren from going to Springfield. Travis gets home and they meet on the stairs. He looks like he’s about to kiss her and she flees down the stairs.

Travis tries to fix the broken Angel. He puts it still broken on Dylan’s bedside table which isn’t going to be terrifying to wake up to at all. Lauren reads more letters from her dad.

The next morning, she waits outside the family services office for Dylan’s case worker. She wants to talk to her about Dylan’s future and hers.

The case worker says she’s been Dylan’s case worker the whole time. It seems like Lauren is inquiring about adopting Dylan. The case worker says that first she needs to secure housing that has room for Dylan, complete the foster care classes, get licensed, and complete a background check. She will also be required to foster him for at least six months. Just kidding. She doesn’t say ANY OF THAT. She just says it’s not guaranteed and they can’t say anything to anyone. Gloria tells Lauren there is a job opening at the school and she has an interview at 4. Betty is like, what did you do, Gloria? Gloria doesnt say anything.

At the school, the principal tells her that if she passes the background check, the job is hers! Okay so we are going to have a more rigorous process for the teaching job than taking legal custody of a minor child. Great. The job opened because Gloria announced her early retirement. She wanted someone she trusted to take over for her.

She goes into the cafe looking for Gloria. She’s like, I don’t want to take your job! Gloria is like, I worked for 30 years so I’m stoked about retiring and, Betty keeps giving away the store for free so I have to keep an eye on things. Gloria offers to help smooth things over with the Springfield principal and stuff. Lauren says they feel like family to her.

It’s the night of the big dance and Lauren is getting ready. She talks to her cat some more. The cat is indifferent as per usual. She looks super cute and is Travis wearing a green suit? Get it, girl.

It’s dancin time. Dylan asks Lauren to dance. Travis holds her purse. Dylan asks if she remembers her parents. She says she remembers her dad but not her mom. Rod dances over to Travis. Lauren tells Dylan the good news about her job. Then Dylan wants to go get a cookie. Travis asks Lauren to dance. Travis says his mom taught him to dance. Lauren tells Travis that she made a couple of big decisions but she can’t tell anyone yet.

Travis is like, it’s you isn’t it? He is informed anytime someone is looking into adopting Dylan. He just walks off. He seems stunned. She’s like, why are you upset? And Travis is like, it’s just too soon. You’ve only known him for two weeks! He doesn’t want her to change her mind and bail. She gives a nice speech about her motives and then walks off. But why doesn’t Travis consider adopting Dylan? I don’t understand. Lauren goes home and reads another letter.

Betty and Gloria are at the cash register and then they want to know what happened with her and Travis. She’s like, it’s a long story. Travis comes in with a box of chocolate to apologize. They go outside and talk about the adoption again. He realizes that wasn’t what made him upset. He’s just not ready to lose him…or her. So again, why hadn’t he considered adopting him? Single dudes can adopt kids, you know. She’s like I’m not moving to Springfield you silly goose! I’m taking over for Gloria. And he’s like yay! Betty walks right into them when they almost kiss.

That night, they are walking to a gingerbread making contest? Lauren slips and falls. Travis tries to help her up and falls too. Dylan throws a snowball at them. They are having a great time. They have a snowball fight and she hits…Eric? What is he doing here? Oh boy. He tried to write her a letter but no one writes a letter like Lauren so…he decided to come in person. Eric is like, oh did my showing up announced interrupt something? Just a gingerbread house contest? She’s like, I better talk to Eric. I mean, I did basically ghost him two weeks ago.

I am not totally clear why they broke up or what happened and their conversation sheds no light on it. Eric says, there’s no one I would like to eventually start a family with. Lauren is like, I’m over 40. Eric is like, I’m ready to change for you! Lauren is like, what? No thanks. Lauren is like, I found something here I’ve always wanted to experience-family. Eric wants to go through all that change with her. Give us a chance Lauren! She doesnt answer.

Dylan lays in bed sad. Was that guy her boyfriend? He tells Travis to fix it. Travis is like…oh boy where do I start? That’s not how this works pal. Dylan looks at the broken angel. He prays again.

The next morning, she and Eric walk into the cafe together. She takes him to the wall with all the pictures and shows him her dad. Travis shows up. What is going on there? He tells Betty she owes him nothing for the re-wiring work. How do people make any money around here and pay their bills? For real. Lauren goes outside after Travis. She apologizes to him. She’s like, I didn’t plan any of this. He’s like, I know. Upstairs, Lauren is wearing a great dress.

Karen calls about the adoption. I think she got approved. She gets a text from Eric who is at the gazebo. The gang asks if she is going to the tree lighting tonight as she’s on her way to meet Eric. She’s like yeah probably. At the gazebo, Eric asks to speak first. He says he re read her letter last night. He says, she was right. He knows their lives are taking them into different directions. It is a nice break up moment.

It’s the tree lighting. She seems to be looking for Travis. Oh good, she found him. Where’s Eric? Oh, he left. But she’s staying. Because of the holidays and Dylan’s age, they approved her application for Dylan’s adoption. Well that was insanely fast. I am going to just keep it moving though because there is only a few minutes left in the movie. But I will say this-age would definitely let you cut through a little red tape but the holiday season actually slows things down because no one is working! Anyway, I am just going to pretend that this is all prelimary and she will get through all the requirements later. She says he was the first person she wanted to tell. And then they kiss. She sees Dylan and gives him a hug. Rod is giving the announcement. He invites Lauren up to do the tree lighting. She has to make a little speech. She shares they reached and exceeded their goal for the charity drive! She says, let’s hear it for Dylan Hart since he was the inspiration.

Back at home, they sit Dylan down. Lauren tells him she’d like to adopt him. He tears up. She says, only if it’s okay with him. What about Travis though? He says he’d like to be part of the family too. Well what does that mean? Hope they don’t plan on getting married until after the adoption is finalized. I think you have to be married a certain number of years before you start fostering too. Dylan runs up to get a present for Lauren and she and Travis kiss. He gives her the angel. She gets very emotional. He is very confused. She pulls out the wing piece she carries with her. They put that one on the tree. And then it actually lights up! Okay Let’s see how this stacks up.

• Small town person
• Lead stranded in a small town
• Clumsy meet cute
• Christmas Tree lighting
• Christmas Festival
• Winter athletics
• Snowball fight
• A sassy (cat) and wise (Betty) best friend
• Christmas montage

Total score: 9/20

I also just want to reiterate that if you are at all interested in foster care or adoption, please shoot me an email! I would love to share more about our experience and answer questions you might have. Email me at hallmarksthespotmovies@gmail.com.

Christmas at the Plaza premiered on Thanksgiving night, November 28, 2019 on the Hallmark Channel. This movie was really filmed at the Plaza! Just like Home Alone 2. Let’s get this done.

The movie begins with our leading lady walking into the plaza through the revolving doors which is always my nightmare. An errant child dumps her hot chocolate all over her. So she makes a rookie mistake. Don’t go in one of those sections with anyone. It’s always too tight of a fit.

Anyway, she immediately meets Reginald, a bellman at the Plaza. She says she is going to be working at the Plaza. She’s an archival historian! Working on Christmas history of the Plaza… So that’s a job someone is paying her for. She says she doesnt feel very important. Reginald says nothing unimportant ever happens at the Plaza! She gets a phone call from her boyfriend who confirms their tickets to see his parents on Christmas Eve in Florida. She walks by a ladder which is somehow in her way so she moves it. She fails to see that there is a person standing atop the ladder. He’s like, I hope that phone call that impaired your vision was important. And she’s like, you should put up a sign if you’re going to have a ladder that is so gigantic that I can’t even walk around it. And he’s like, well first of all just walk around the ladder. You are in a big open lobby. Second of all, there is a sign right there. Oh. She appears to feel much less stupid than she should.

She then goes to the concierage and he plays a fun game with her where he attempts to guess all the things she might need. Theatre tix? No. A car? No dude, chill. I need to see Amanda. And Amanda walks up behind her and is like, let’s get started.

Amanda takes her to the big oak ballroom. Neither of them have any ideas fo the big Christmas archival history project. And Jessica only deals in facts; not Christmas stories so she can’t really do that. She takes them do a shoddily organizes file room. Probably 100 years worth of random files? They are NOT categorized by season though. She’s like where are the Christmas files? And then she says it will take her a year to go through all the files. That’s only three weeks! Then she meets the person she’ll be working with; the Christmas decorator. Oh, it’s the guy who’s ladder she moved.

Jessica lists all her pointless history degrees. Nick is like, hey if you focus too much on the past you don’t focus on the future. He grabs a photo off the shelf and she’s like hey! At my school we call that an “artifact” so don’t touch it. He’s like, well it’s a newspaper clipping so just chill.

Jessica’s sassy friend, Cassidy helps her bring in a tree to her house that is entirely too large for someone who has a completely pretend job. The friend is like, you know, your boyfriend Dennis is a real wet sandwich. You should dump him. Neither of you want to commit. But Jessica is like, well actually we are both super committed! We are going to see his parents for Christmas. The friend wonders who bought the tickets? His parents or him? Why didn’t Jessica by her own gd tickets? The sassy friend leaves to go get an elf costume on.

Jessica waits for Dennis, who arrives wearing a full on turtleneck with a blazer. She gets up and leaves immediately. Just kidding. She pretends he’s not wearing that. Dennis doesn’t seem to care what she’s talking about. Same, girl!

The next day, Jessica is using a box as a computer stand and staring into space. Okay, the boxes are labeled by month and year.. so what else do you need Jessica? Couldn’t you deduce that December boxes would have information on Christmas? How about the internet? She is overwhelmed by where to start. Reginald pops down to check on her. He shows her a picture from 1968 of himself and a girl he used to know. He says the girl loved the Christmas tree topper from that year. He promised to give her her own someday but he never did. He’s like, do you want to borrow this pic? No, I’m good. Actually, this is too hard so I’m going to quit. How did she even get this job without an idea for what to do? Or wouldnt the Plaza be like, we want to do a specific history display but we need a history display expert to help. No. No vision across the board.

Jessica tells Nick she is going to bail. Nick seems more upset than he should be. This girl is totally boring. She deserves her wet sandwich turtleneck wearing boyfriend. He gives her a scrap of his decorations as a parting gift. She politely takes it and shoves it in her purse.

She goes to tell Amanda that she’s quitting and waits in the lobby. She stares at the tree topper on the assistant’s desk. It has a fancy name but I’m not bothering to look up the correct spelling. The assistant tells her they have a new tree topper every year. It’s a tradition. Oh, now we’re cooking with oil, thinks Jessica. She’s back on board!

The concierge is being super perky and Jessica asks for help getting office supplies. We have an office set up montage. FUN! Why didn’t we do this on day one? Ol Reg even brings her a single use plastic water bottle. She types one sentence on her “NOT APPLE” laptop. She finally remembers she can use the internet and starts searching for pictures of old tree toppers.

Sherpa wool vest wearing Nick gets a call from a girl named Alicia. She is so stoked that he’s decorating the Plaza. Maybe they can get a drink after she comes to see the decorations? He’s like nah, I’m good.

Jessica puts garage sale stickers on various boxes in the filing room. Then she finds one of the tree toppers in one of the boxes. Nick seems stoked that Jessica stays. Did you know that the Plaza has a handmade tree topper every year? She freaks about the historical significance of this. Nick wonders why she likes to nerd out on this so much. She gives him a very academic answer. Nick is like, I’m too dumb to understand what you’re saying. So she tells him a nice story about her upbringing. I realize that this actor is not American because her accent isn’t quite right.

Reg comes down with a beautiful coffee pot. She has some tree toppers set out on a table next to her makeshift workstation. Nick finds another tree topper! And they all touch and handle it. They’ve found 5 so far and only…95 more to go! I would guess all the boxes titled “December” would be safe bets.

Lots of shots of New York things, including the sassy friend saying “you lookin at me” to someone who stares at her Christmas sweater. She makes a comment about Jessica and Nick working together on the project. Also, I might suggest Jessica part her hair a different way.

Jessica sits at home in her bathrobe looking like a frumpy old woman looking at random memorabilia through a microscope.

Oh no! Turtleneck arrives to pick her up for the work Christmas party! She definitely didn’t forget. She’s just in the middle of getting ready. Why does she live in a two story house all alone…in New York. How many times are they going to make the tree topper joke? There is a mystery about one year of tree toppers. There wasn’t one in 1969! Also, how do people not realize they’re wearing slippers and not uncomfortable shoes? Jessica decides to wear the decoration scrap Nick gave her.

At the party, everyone thinks Jessica is a ridiculous human being. They literally laugh out loud when she explains what she’s working on. And well, same. Turtleneck is reluctant to call her his girlfriend after two years of dating. He leaves with some old dude to talk about their actually important work. She is about eat something when Dennis chastises her for bringing up her silly assignment. In turtleneck news, his work is going really well. She decides she wants to bail, but then is insulted that he doesn’t agree to go home too. This is basically a work function for him so why would he leave? I don’t understand why she’s upset that he calls her a car instead of leaving. The Uber driver is awfully chatty for my taste. She is super weird to the Uber driver and now he’s the one feeling uncomfortable. She decides to go back to the Plaza. How much was that drive? Who cares! Turtleneck is paying.

She stares at the giant tree in the lobby and sees Reginald. Does he live here? He likes to just hang there at night and that isn’t creepy. Nick is there too messing with all the lights. Decorating the Plaza is a game changer for his business. Reginald feels uncomfortable and leaves.

Jessica tells him she’s going to look for the missing tree topper. She shares the devastating news that she didn’t get to eat at the party. Nick suggests they go eat dinner together and she’s like, oh I have a boyfriend. Still gotta eat!

At a very fancy restaurant, Nick says he took over his dad’s business but he focuses on Christmas decorating. Boy, I’m sure that just rakes in the money. She tells him what turtleneck does for a living. And he says she has a few fancy degrees too. But then she says something about when she was “at university” so we KNOW she’s a foreigner. She always thought she’d be doing something more important with her life. He tries to make her feel better but honestly, no this is not very important work. Nick is like, what is more important than the Plaza’s Christmas memories? Probably almost anything. Oh! She says that her parents were in real estate so she got the house when they retired. I appreciate the explanation. He gives her his business card in case she wants to decorate her house for Christmas. Even though she is a strange and boring wet sandwich, Nick seems to really like her. He gazes longingly at her as she walks to her door.

The next morning, Jessica shows Amanda photos of all the tree toppers and significant Christmas events each year. But there is just a big red and green question mark for 1969. Amanda is just irate about this. We can’t have a GAP!! Amanda says it’s Jessica’s problem. But it sounds like the Plaza’s problem. Cassidy tells her to just buy a random tree topper and call it good. Jessica tells her friend Cassidy that she’s not going to lie about something as important as Christmas. Nick gave her a Christmas pep talk at dinner. Cassidy is mad that Jessica has two guys falling all over her even though she’s the most boring person in the world. Cassidy needs a new accountant.

Dennis calls Jessica and says he got a grant. He has an important question to ask her but not over the phone. They need to meet tonight for dinner. Ugh. Jessica finds a receipt for the tree topper the Plaza ordered for 1969. The number is unsurprisingly out of service. Why don’t they go to the address? She mutters “finial drobre” to herself and Nick is like, what? Let’s go, weirdo.

They stroll near the neighborhood and see a train through the window. Nick is like LET’S TAKE A PICTURE WITH THIS CUTE TRAIN!!! Christmas only comes once a year. Then Nick’s super sniffer leads them to some roasted chestnuts. Jessica has never had them. She thought they were pretend. Why did they park so far away, Jessica wonders. Probably because it’s New York City? Why are they driving anyway?

We see dumb dumb hotel clerk from Merry and Bright? Who runs a cute Christmas decor store. His dad and uncle used to run the store. His uncle stopped designing and quit the whole family business a while back. He shows them an old picture of his dad and uncle. His uncle is REGGIE THE BELLMAN. Jessica finds Reg and says she met his nephew and is like, girl you’ve been holding out on me. She asks where the tree topper is from 1969. He’s like, I am very busy and I can’t help you. BYEEE.

Nick is like what are you going to do? Jessica struggles with her American accent. Nick is like, let’s drown your sorrows with linguini. Jessica is like, no I have an important dinner with Turtleneck. Amanda asks for a status update. Amanda has no time for nonsense.

Cassidy helps Santa in the park. Jessica stops by. She tells her that Dennis has something important to ask her. Cassidy thinks he’s going to propose. Jessica is like, nahhhhhh.

At dinner, Dennis is like, hey do you want to stop doing your silly project and work on this biology paper with me? It doesn’t matter that this is not in your field of expertise. She is very surprised. He’s like, what did you think I was going to ask you? She speaks in her weird dreamy code again and leaves without eating. She heads back to the Plaza and asks if Nick still wants to eat dinner. He’s like, I have a better idea. She falls asleep on the drive. Or no, she just sits there with her eyes closed. Not weird. She asks, how are you supposed to know if you want to marry someone after 2 years! They pull up to his parents’ house, which is beautifully decorated for Christmas. He shows her the star he put up. Some decorations he does for money and some he does for love. He puts a big expensive star on the house he loves. He hands her an ugly sweater. He is wearing the same sweater I got all three of my kids last year.

This is a working party. The men wrap presents for charity and the women bake cookies. Jessica is up to neither task. Jessica and his mom get personal real quick. The mom mentions Alicia and practically curses. Nick says baking is like riding a bike. It’s not. Oh boy, and now they’re singing karaoke. This is not great. Hallmark, stop doing these karaoke bits. Nick and Jessica have to participate. What a horrible thing to do to a guest who knows zero people in that home. I die of embarrassment for her. She is a good sport. Jessica says she had “such fun” tonight. And overshares with Nick’s mom. She is nice and polite in response.

Jessica tells Nick she had a great time with his family. Nick tells Jessica the whole story about Alicia. She was not stoked about his career. To be fair, it is very niche. I can’t imagine he makes much money. His phone buzzes and he tells her he has to take a detour. The lights aren’t working at the Plaza so he has to figure it out. Nick says a bunch of nonsense where he concludes that someone just unplugged the lights. He shares some history of the Plaza building with her. She says she doesnt know who Sinatra is. He says, you’re kidding right? And she says “a little.” What does that mean? Nick tells her about his grandparents while they dance to no music. He tells her he comes there every year on Christmas Eve by himself. He asks what she’s doing on Christmas Eve. She panics and flees. Reggie sees all.

Reggie goes to the old shop and sees his nephew. He is looking for something. They go downstairs to the workshop. He digs out an old trunk and gets all his old tools. And then he digs out the lost tree topper. He tells his nephew to crank up the Christmas music and put on some coffee so he can get to work.

It’s time to set up for the archival history display. Nick shows up and it is a little awkward. He apologizes for being so forward. She’s like, I’ve been with turtleneck for two years and we are going to meet his parents for the first time. So I can’t let my feelings get in the way. She says she still has his Christmas sweater and he says to just keep it.

She sits outside and takes a call from Dennis. And then he shows up. He talks to her about the paper again. She’s like, oh turtleneck you don’t get it. She finally asks who bought the tickets. He says, it’s only fair because it was their idea. Is that fair? They’re both in their thirties and seemingly have great jobs and low expenses. She gives him a little come to Jesus speech about commitment and how they aren’t getting any younger. He is still confused. And so is she. He’s like, are we breaking up? She’s like, is there anything to break up? I’m a wet sandwich and you’re a turtleneck sweater. There was never a future for us. They pat each other’s heads and part ways.

She heads back to the Plaza to see a bunch of people standing around the tree. The concierge has a package for her. It’s the missing tree topper. She thanks Reggie and asks why he quit making them or art or whatever. He tells her a story of lost love. He had a special little lady and her parents said they couldn’t be together because he was just a poor artist. Probably a pretty weird dude also! He made things with love back in those days so he couldn’t make anything again. He tells her he’s been at the Plaza all these years and he’s never seen love like her and Nick. So I feel really bad for him because, as I mentioned before, she is a wet sandwich. Nick is more like pizza by the slice.

Alicia stops by after spin class. But she doesn’t look like that’s where she came from. She gets real handsy with him. He’s like, it’s been like 3 years, girl. What are you talking about? Jessica sees and misinterprets the exchange and leaves. Nick’s like, I have to work so bye.

Jessica packs up her stuff that she was working on at home and scrolls through pics of all the tree toppers. We see the sweater. She stresses over deleting the selfie with Nick in front of the train. WHAT DOES SHE DECIDE!

Amanda announces the History of Christmas display to a room full of people and she introduces Jessica. Jessica wears a great burgandy dress. She gives Reg a special shout out and sort of outs him for hiding the tree topper for 50 years. He gets fired. Nick shows up and she pauses. She continues with her boring speech that I don’t care about. I need to add an item to my list…Does one of the leads say the line “I guess what I’m trying to say is…” because any time one of these people gives their end of the movie speech they say that. We see some shots of the displays. Not too bad for three weeks of work. Reg stares at his tree topper. He decides to start making ornaments again. Jessica is like, that’s the best gift you could give me. Really? Then, Reggie’s long lost love approaches him!!! She’s like, my parents are dead now so we can be together! It’s a nice moment. She sees the tree topper and says, it’s beautiful and he looks at her and says, it sure is. And Okay, fine. That is a nice moment.

Nick catches up with Jessica after all the festivities die down. Jessica says she saw him and Alicia the other day. He’s like, no no there’s nothing going on there. He thought she knew how he felt about her. She says she and the turtleneck broke up. Nick is like, let’s each get some perspective. Jessica is like, yeah that sounds good. And then he kisses her on the cheek and leaves.

Amanda is stoked about her work.

The next day she talks to Amanda again at the Plaza. Amanda asks her to stay on as the Plaza’s permanent historian. What? There can’t be enough work for a full time person. She says she’s going to teach somewhere else. That seems right.

Back at home, Jessica is packing up to spend time with Cassidy’s family. She sees the Christmas decor scraps in her bag. Cassidy is like, nice exterior lights. Jessica is like, what are you talking about. Nick as somehow decorated her entire house while she as inside without her noticing. And he even put a star on the front.

It must be Christmas Eve at the Plaza because Nick is there drinking a $20 cocktail alone like a weirdo. Jessica shows up wearing a great hunter green dress but is still super committed to the that middle part. They dance. They have some cringeworthy conversation where Jessica struggles through her American accent and then THEY KISS. Whew. Let’s see how we scored:

• Clumsy meet cute
• Christmas Gala
• Christmas baking
• A sassy (but dumb) best friend

Total score: 4/20 Not many traditional tropes in this one.

This movie begins on a tour in Rome. Our lead, Angela is an American tour guide… in Rome. She takes her tour group to a 400 year old Italian bakery as a special treat. One of the guests asks if some of the items are gluten free. Angela is like, probably? Turns out they were NOT! But apparently there is a $200 shot for gluten allergies so it’s all good! In light of this, and a series of other shocking missteps, she gets a talking to by her boss. Apparently she goes above and beyond in her job in the very worst way. Like, letting children hold a REAL sword and NOT REALIZING they took it all the way home with them. So, she gets fired. I am…unsympathetic after hearing the whole run down.

Our male lead, Oliver, drinks a festive drink with a candy cane sticking out of it in a business meeting. Why don’t we just forget about paragraph 7 so we can all go Christmas shopping? Two casual plates of Christmas cookies on the table at this BUSINESS MEETING. He slides a number across the table to close the deal. Nobody care about the logistics.

He goes into his boss’s office and she tells him he needs to go to Rome to close another deal. Yes please!

He types away in the back of a cab and types on his phone. MISSING ALL THE CULTURE. He gets dropped off apparently no where near his hotel and runs right in to Angela because he is looking at his phone. He is ecstatic she is American and she is super rude to him. He needs directions to a restaurant with all his stuff and she offers to just take him. Angela is SHOCKED he’s working so close to Christmas. She says she’s not working today and is thinking of starting her own company. They make it to the restaurant and he tries to pay her. She says in Italy, if someone gives you a gift, you have to accept it. It’s very rude not to. She is an expert on Roman culture. And she won’t let you forget it! And then Oliver seems to suggest he has never been out of the country or… learned social studies because he surprised that there are cultural differences between Italy and the United States. The Italian business man who Oliver is supposed to meet, over hears them chatting and invites Angela to join them for their BUSINESS MEETING.

They sit down inside. Oliver wants to cut right to the chase about his intentions to buy Luigi’s company. In doing so, Oliver seems to be ignoring all of Angela’s business advice. To be fair, she is a tour guide. Angela interrupts and says it’s Oliver’s first time in Rome. And then Oliver says he plans to just work the whole time! Like, wouldn’t his company WANT him to see the sights on their dime? Luigi, the businessman is aghast. And Angela swoops in again. Luigi invites him to the business factory tomorrow afternoon.

Oliver is mad because he feels like now he has to write a book report on Rome. Angela tries to leave again but he doesn’t know where he’s going again. He hands her his business card. They part ways but then he has another idea. How about he hires her to be his tour guide for the week? He offers to pay her double her normal rate. Again, on the company’s dime or what? She is surprisingly uninterested for someone who is unemployed. She’s like, let me give you a tour my way. And he’s like, I literally couldn’t care less how you give me a tour.

He runs into Jack and Margaret Fletcher, who he knows from work somehow? and he does some marketing for Angela. He suggests that she offers private tours and they seem interested. She is again, a little ungrateful for someone who needs a job. But I think she is mostly offended at how quickly he can come up with great names for a tour company. Notably, TOGA TOURS. Fantastic. Not offensive at all.

Angela tells Oliver they’re getting an early start to the tour tomorrow…at the crack of mid morning at 10AM. Apparently this is early in Italy. And this is why Rome is no longer the center of the world.

In the morning, Oliver wanders around his hotel room in his bathrobe. His boss calls and wonders if Luigi accepted their offer. She is a no nonsense business gal. Also, she’s paying for his trip. He’s like, I’m super Roman now and that’s not how we do business here, ESTELLE. Angela arrives for the tour. She puts a snowflake shaped pin on Oliver with a GPS tracking device so she won’t lose him. Does Oliver ever think about anything other than business? He whips out a guidebook he bought. She throws it in the garbage. She is NOT ABOUT CHECKLIST TOURISM. She needs him to experience the soul of Rome and Christmas not the SIGHTS. He’s like, you owe me $20. She shows him her favorite view of Rome.

Then he wants coffee. She tells him that he basically ordered plain milk instead of a coffee earlier today. How did he not notice that his drink didn’t taste like coffee? They go to a coffee stand and she gets three so they can pay it forward. The vendor says, “Prego” and she’s like, EXCUSE ME?

He says he loves Christmas because everyone wants to take time off and so he can get stuff done. But what was that candy cane drink all about ten minutes ago? He asks what she needs to start her tour company. She says she needs investors and a business plan. So, everything then. She’s done zero work on this idea. He says he can write her a business plan if she helps him with Luigi. Then, they try to figure out what motivates Luigi. Apparently it’s not money. It’s “heart”. But why is he interested in selling it to a giant corporation in New York then? So, it must be a little bit about the money. CAPITALISM.

They stroll through town and she suggests buying Christmas gifts. He already sent his parents on a cruise. Nice work, Ollie. She suggests he buy gifts for Luigi’s grandkids. He’s like, wait how many people do I have to buy Christmas gifts for?

At the factory, Luigi gives him a tour. It looks like a ceramics class at a rec center. The workers all work in SILENCE. He takes them to a room with a bunch of Christmas trees with hand made ornaments. Oliver keeps trying to talk about business terms. Luigi is like, I don’t care about business. I care about art. This is NOT an ornament business. We don’t care about making money. Except when we need money.

Whew. I do love that holly ornament though. Luigi asks if he’s been enjoying his time. Yes! Says Oliver. I even saw all seven hills of Rome. Luigi asks him which hill he likes the best and he mispronounces it. And then Oliver tells him how they did a pay it forward coffee. Luigi is really stoked about that and the gifts for his grandkids. So, he invites them to dinner at his house the next day.

Later, Angela runs into her old boss. He’s like, oh, cute tour for one person. Tomasso, the boss, says if he wants a real American tour, he should call him. He’ll show him the top ten sights!! Oliver talks Angela up to Tomasso. She’s running a boutique personalized tour company after all! A tour for Americans by an American. Just what everyone wants. Also, Disney is definitely not already doing this all over the world. Then Oliver says “Saving my bacon” for the second time in this movie.

Oliver is like, we should eat something and Angela is like, are you asking me on a date? Does anyone ever actually say that? She says she can’t go because she’s going to get a Christmas tree and he invites himself along. Isn’t he starving? Could they at least get something on the way? Oliver is painfully American. Can’t you just feel it? I can say this because I am a super cultured traveler myself. Wait, how has Angela not gotten her tree yet? A little girl comes running in. Oh, it is her neighbor. The little girl’s parents come in too. The parents invite them to build gingerbread houses. Did anyone get this poor guy a sandwich or something though?

We have a mini gingerbread house making montage and the little girl is phenomenal at making gingerbread houses. It is like a really somber and serious event, which is how this usually goes for me. They are all working alone and in silence. Oliver seems like he’s trying to make the Coliseum. And it immediately falls apart. Also, they drink hot chocolate in Italy! In the afternoon!

Angela walks Oliver back to his hotel like a proper gentleman. They talk more about her business. She says they need to do Rome like the Romans. You know the saying, When in Rome! Oh boy, again, please don’t stop reading. She says he will have to bake something to bring to dinner tomorrow. He has a mild panic attack.

When Angela gets back to her house, unmurdered after walking alone at dark, she sees that Oliver has emailed her a draft business plan.

The next morning, she says she has a name for her business. “When in Roma”. That’s fine. Then she she wants them to double up on a Vespa. When they stop, he is still in a full state of panic over her crazy driving. I die over Angela’s hunter green pea coat. She takes him to the NOT gluten friendly bakery. For some reason, she makes him keep him eyes closed and feeds him something. Ew. It’s Italian fruit cake. The baker invites him back to his kitchen so they can make their own Panettone.

Oh yay, they have everything set up like a cooking show, which is my favorite way to bake. He sifts the flour and two hours later, they have all the flour they need. And then they decide that takes too long and just dump it in. Are they each making their own? Then Oliver asks why she’s in Rome. Her parents met here! They took her there when she was ten and fell in love. But they both passed away. Also, five years ago, she was planning the perfect Christmas wedding and her fiancé bailed a week before. So, she packed up and came to Rome! She’s been hiding here ever since.

How are these crazy kids going to make it? And then she plays Patrick Swayze to Oliver’s Demi Moore as she shows him how to knead the dough.

Oilver’s boss calls and she is worried about all the expenses she’s incurring while he is basically on a vacation. Also, they FaceTime which is super weird. I get embarrassed if I accidentally FaceTime my own siblings. YOU ARE NOT THINKING LIKE A ROMAN, ESTELLE.

Next, Angela takes him to the fountain. He still has his tracking device on. He throws in three coins in the fountain and she panics. Apparently, three coins brings you true love. She shows him a picture of her parents in her dude wallet. Where’s that bread they made?

It’s time for the fancy dinner. Oliver is blown away by how nice Angela looks. And it IS a great dress. I’m all in on it. Even though they weren’t carrying it with them when they left, they brought the Panettone and Luigi and his family freaks out about how good it is. They look at all the Christmas ornaments. All handmade by their family. Then Angela and Oliver have a weird exchange at the tree. Later, they walk around in the garden. Probably wondering when they’re going to eat. They’ve been there for hours. He whips out his phone to take a SELFIE with her. Send me a copy? Angela says. Is she an elderly person? Has she never sent a picture to someone with her phone?

Finally eating dinner, the family is still freaking out about the panettone. Oliver talks up Angela’s company to family. The Fletchers offer to take a look to possibly invest.

They all head back to the hotel. He asks her if she wants to go get hot chocolate and she’s like, no I gotta work on that business plan. And he’s like, can I help? And she’s like no no. I gotta just be by myself.

The next morning, Angela works on her business plan using the worst font imaginable.

Oliver tells her she should take the day off so he can ask her on a date. She agrees to go finally because she’s not a dummy dumb dumb dumb. She’s like, let me do that reservation because you don’t know anything but he says no way, Jose.

Oliver heads to ceramics class at the Roman rec center, where he sits with Luigi’s five silent employees hand painting an ornament. He took a couple art classes in college so he’s like REALLY good at art. Luigi tells him he is selling the company to him. Here’s a question though, why is Luigi even selling this company if he is so concerned about family and tradition and not money? He has grandkids and the company has been in his family for hundreds of years…and he doesn’t want them to increase production of the ornaments. So, what is this all about?

Back at the hotel, Angela gives her presentation in the lobby. She offers a buffet gift card to anyone who signs in with their email address and agrees to listen to her presentation. She seemingly has done a lot of work on this business in the last two days. She wants to offer customized Christmas tours and they’re like yeah that’s not going to be enough. But then she’s like, no I’ll do other seasons too. Like wouldn’t Rome at Easter be SUPER FUN? She has ten employees lined up and apparently all the BEST tour guides would quit their steady jobs to come work for her. She has a friend who is a web designer so I hope they’ll help sort out that Papyrus font disaster she was working with earlier. They pat her on the head and go on their way.

That night, Oliver and Angela get all dressed up for their date (?) Is it a date?!!! Angela keeps wondering. We don’t have time for your stupidity here, Angela. Oliver’s arranged a horse drawn carriage and then they go to a restaurant. He doesn’t want to talk about ANY BUSINESS at dinner because he’s SUPER Roman now. So they sit in silence for an hour. Then they can finally hear how the other’s day went. He closed his deal and Angela is very shocked and happy for him. But like, is it that surprising? And her meeting went well too. He pats her on the head for her little business start up work. What is her background? Like, what did she do in Seattle besides just be obsessed with Italy? Then he gives her his hand painted ornament. It surprisingly does not look like a child made it. She’s like, oh I remember ALL the ornaments from Luigi’s factory and I don’t remember this one. He’s like, yeah dude I made it. Also, how do you remember all the other ornaments. She’s like, I was kind of hoping you’d get me that cute holly leaf one I saw yesterday but this one is fine too. Then Angela says she has a gift for him. But if it were me, after getting Oliver’s gift, I would have thrown mine away. She gives him this tiny cheap picture frame they saw at the market with a picture of them inside. I am MORTIFIED for her. He’s like, yeah cool thanks. I spent ALL day working on mine but this is nice too. Then they talk about trying to make a long distance relationship work. And he says he might like to stay through New Years! He ignores a work call. Then he does something I HATE which is ask her to dance. Oh, good. Other people are dancing. I feel better about it now.

Then while they’re dancing, they KISS. He gets a second work call and decides he better take it. His boss tells him to get his butt back so he can start his brand new VP job on the 26th. Business people don’t celebrate Boxing Day. He goes back in the restaurant to tell the news. She is like, wait, if you’re not staying for Christmas then girl, BYE. He’s like, but you said earlier you were okay with long distance and she’s like, well that as ten minutes ago okay? And don’t you dare ask me to consider moving to New York because my stuff here is way more important. So then she leaves.

The next day is Christmas Eve and she ignores his calls. He starts packing up. For some reason, he has his bathroom sink filled with water. He drops his phone in the water for like one second and it stops working. Hello? That’s not what happens to phones now a days. So, now the phone is totally dead. He has his phone wrapped in a towel at the front desk like a real rookie. He sees the Fletchers and tells them he is headed to the “Caroling Concert” with his bro Luigi before taking a Red Eye…on Christmas Eve? What a huge bummer. If he doesn’t have to be there until the 26th, he could conceivably have done that on the 25th also. But, here we are.

Angela has a nice heart to heart with her neighbor, who tells her she’s being a dummy. Angela says her Seattle friends offered her a job there. She isn’t considering New York because Oliver made his choice. The neighbor tells her she’s being a dumb dumb. Also, her life seems much more portable than Oliver’s. Why doesn’t she consider moving? Anyway, she goes to tell Oliver that she wants to make it work. She goes to the hotel but he’s not there and he’s not answering his phone! She sees the Fletchers, who race through town on matching vespas to get to the Christmas Caroling Concert. They park really far away and just leave their scooters in the street. Then, finally, Angela remembers she put a GPS tracker on Oliver! That wasn’t creepy at all! But Angela, I thought you said GPS doesn’t work in Rome at Christmas? So which is it. Anyway, they walk through the massive, silent crowd to find Oliver. She’s like, let’s do long distance! He’s like, no actually I’m going to move here because that makes the most sense!! I’m going to run Luigi’s business here so you can keep plugging away at your cute little tour business. But again, what was the point of this acquisition? And then they kiss and say a bunch of things that make me say “ew.” Let’s see how we did.

• Workaholic too busy for Christmas
• Clumsy meet cute
• Christmas baking
• Christmas puns

Total score: 4/20 This movie was pretty light on the Christmas tropes!

Check Inn to Christmas premiered on Tuesday, November 26 on the Hallmark Channel. You guys. This has been just a marathon. But I think I can see the finish line. I also realize this is only Tuesday’s post. But my dumb sister wrote this post and it took her all week to get through this movie. She’s a doctor though so just CHILL okay? Let’s get it done.

We open with our leading lady walking into her insanely decorated office building. IN-SANE. I’ve watched a lot of these movies now, and this is where I draw the line. This is the most unrealistic part of the movie and I’m not sure I can get over it.

Our gal rushes into a basically empty conference room afraid she is late. Her coworker is already there AND brought donuts. We find out that these two women are up for the promotion to senior associate at their law firm. They have a nice moment supporting each other. Women helping women, I’ll drink to that. But the other girl brought donuts so I’m rooting for her. Also, later in the movie she says she’s worked for that firm for ten years…and she’s only just up for senior associate?! YOU GUYS. Let her be up for partner for heaven’s sake. At least it’s not “junior partner”. Oh, another lovely surprise, they both get time off for the holidays and they are super appreciative. This is unheard of in the Hallmark corporate world. They still gotta meet that annual billable hours requirement though y’all! Dang millennials and their ludicrous desire for work/life balance. Back in my day… wait, nevermind. Moving on.

Our gal, Julie, tells her coworker that she plans to go to Colorado to spend Christmas with her family. But it won’t be relaxing, her dad is going to put her to work at the Inn; plus the town does a big Christmas celebration throughout the entire month of December and she always participates.

Oh wait, the other gal says she is not taking any time off and she will be working through the holidays—too much paperwork to do! I fear there is something sinister afoot with this gal. And let’s not forget the donuts.

Finally, the boss shows up to the meeting and he’s ready to give the update on the coveted senior associate position. Unfortunately, Thompson is tied up so they can’t make that decision until after the holidays. So much work to do. I don’t even know what Thompson does back there. She offers to cancel her trip to Colorado, but he insists she go, she’s earned it after all. Has she? This feels like a trap.

An old timey train rolls up and Julia disembarks. She obviously spent the last month on Pinterest searching ‘cute traveling outfit.’ She sees a very cartoony map with like 4 things on it and touches the spot marked Crawley Inn. A young gentleman approaches and says “oh, look the map is right. It say’s you are here and you are here.” Eye roll. He’s just returning her laptop she forgot on the train. The case looks like is straight out of the North Pole.

Her sister runs up to greet her and asks why she would be talking to Ryan Mason. She hadn’t recognized him. Her sister is running for some Christmas office against Ryan Mason’s brother. This happened in high school as well apparently and this is a heated rivalry. Oh, I see. Their family owns an inn as well. Well, this is going to be very innnnnn teresting. Oh, please don’t stop reading.

They are going ALL OUT for decorations this year. It’s the centennial, after all. There is even a bake-off this year. Oh, and A HUGE dance where they will announce winner of grand marshall- sounds suspicially like prom.

AL BORLAND IS HER DAD and she is not sure about his exterior décor. He wants her to move back. She brings up the promotion and they are so proud. Her dad is WAY more excited about Christmas festivities than any dad would ever be. No one wants to help him finish putting up Christmas lights. But… duh.

Yikes, Frank Mason is literally handing out buttons to campaign for Christmas Grand Marshall. Edgestone Resorts is the real threat, Mason fam, not the Crawleys. Get that through your thick skulls. Oh Ryan is not pleased that his dad turned down an offer to buy their inn last year. He is the manager of the inn, he should have been consulted! Mr. Mason wants to run this inn the same way his dad and his granddad did, not offer amenities and publicity like big resorts. Also, he seems much more into winning the Christmas contests then like running a profitable business.

The Mason family is ordering their “usuals” at Jaimie’s Diner for dinner tonight. Ryan runs into Julia at the diner. They talk about high school. Now we find out she took a TRAIN from NYC to a small town in Colorado. This seems very inefficient. I wonder if she will explain why she chose a train which probably took 5 days. Oh their dads always order the same thing- what to you know, they have things in common! She also seems to know ALOT about him despite being two years apart and in different circles.

Julia wanders down the street of the Christmas celebration literally saying hello to everyone. She hugs the salvation army Santa, and throws a toy to a child. What is happening?

She runs into Ryan. They have some banter and keep bringing up hot chocolate. Excuse me while I pause this and get some hot chocolate.

There is a snowball competition. There must be teams of 4. Oh the winner gets spa day passes to the new Edgestone Hotel in the neighboring town. Ryan is not happy. The owner of Edgestone, who looks like Eric Trump, is sponsoring the prize and he’s only here to buy another family run inn, obviously. And by the way, the entire town seems stoked about the spa at Edgestone. I am too.

Ryan leaves to go stretch to prep for the snowball toss competition. The 2 families face-off and the competition ends in a tie. They need one representative from each family. Ryan and Julia are up for the challenge. Ryan asks if she will have dinenr with him if he misses. She says she’d like to win fair and square. He said okay, can we have dinner if I make it? And she laughs it off. He’s like.. but seriously, why wouldn’t you want dinner? Then he throws his snowball and wins. But where did we land on dinner?

Ryan Mason’s brother talks to Julia’s sister about his campaign buttons and how it means he obviously has the most Christmas spirit—more like most free time, Ryan Mason’s brother.

Back at the Crawley Inn, Julia is doing her job  and her dad can’t get over how good she is doing at answer one single customer’s question. She’s like, Dad, I use legal jargon in every day life okay? I object.

Her sister comes running in and said they have to go see the Mason Inn because the decorations are really good. They seem concerned. We HAVE to do SOMETHING! The dad gets really serious and says “Oh, we’ll do something.” I believe he starts plotting the Mason Family murder.

Ryan said he helped his dad who wanted to cover every square inch of the inn in lights—Christmas vacation style. Ryan added a bunch of Christmas trees in a self-proclaimed act of genius. He does have an MBA from “Chicago” after all.

We get a little history on this long-standing family feud. And Ryan gets a lecture on telling his dad the truth about what he wants in life.

Julia gets a rude-awakening by her overly-cheery dad to hustle outside to decorate the outside of their inn. Uh oh, tonight is the deadline for decorations.

She realized that she failed the test at work by taking her vacation because. You should be working on cases remotely, you silly goose!

Julia says she is over the family feud. Her sister thinks that is just because she has a crush on Ryan. The sisters put Christmas bows all over each other, as sisters are wont to do.

Julia finds a letter from Edgestone resorts wanting to buy the inn. Her dad also passed on the offer.

Julia and Ryan sneak away to talk about the letters their dads each got from Edgestone. They would be mutually affected by Edgestone moving in. Edgestone offers gyms, spas, retail clothing stores, and restaurants—honestly, sounds nice. I would love to go to a conference at this resort.

Ryan is intrigued by Julia’s interest in this. She’s like, bro this is my family. And then he insults her for being a lawyer and she insults him for staying in town. He insults her for not caring about their hometown. Boy these two crazy kids are just SO DIFFERENT, aren’t they? She leaves.

The Masons are training for Christmas. Dad wants to quiz them on Christmas triva, brother has to get gift baskets for the troops for his charity event. Ryan suggests he invite Lexi. He’s like, that’s my competition. Ryans like.. it’s for charity idiot.

Julia gets home and hears something at the window. Ryan is throwing snowballs at the window. She goes outside to talk to him. They apologize for their insulting each other back and forth. They go and get hot chocolate at Eddie’s Pub. It’s very festive. They apologize again.

He says he got an MBA and worked at a start-up in Chicago. Then he moved back home. He likes working with people face to face. She can relate. She doesn’t interact with humans yet, despite working at her law firm for TEN YEARS.

They scheme to get their families together over building baskets for the troops. Julia tries to sneak back inside but her grandma is sitting in the dark living room like a creep and questions her. They have some peppermint tea and talk about their great aunt Elizabeth who snuck around with John…wait for it… MASON. He broke her heart by chosing his family over her. Grandma warns her to be careful. She says- look I’m trying to be a lawyer in NYC. I’m fine.

Julia suggests they all go help the troops at the Mason Inn. Her dad says they need to practice for Christmas trivia ALL DAY. They reluctantly agree to make gift baskets FOR THE TROOPS. 

Ryan cannot believe how Julia got her family to come to the Mason Inn. The dads are working together and bickering. Lexi and brother and working together. I sense love might be in the air here too.

Mr. Crawley fills Mr. Mason in on a hint he overheard at the library about the categories for trivia.

Here we are at the Christmas Triva night. I’d like to play this. PubMaster Eddie on the 1’s and 2’s. The game is underway. The Crawleys and masons are murdering everyone else in town. Its neck and neck. The Crestridge Christmas history category comes up and they give each other a knowing nod. The Crawleys win! Eddie just announced this was his last trivia night. He is retiring. He says he sold his place to Edgestone resort. BUZZ KILL. No one except the other Inn owners are devastated. They can’t wait for spa days and exercising.

Julia and Ryan scheme again. The Mason’s are not competing in the bake off because they are scared of the Crawley grandma. But Julia has an idea.

Julia’s family is busy prepping for the bake-off. She blows the breaker and is super happy about it.

It’s the entire inn! They are supposed to host the bake-off. The grandma is concerned about her buche de noel and CANNOT just make it tomorrow. Julia asks if they should just use someone else’s kitchen. She causually mentions the Mason’s kitchen. Papa Crawley humbles himself and makes the call. They are welcomed with open arms to the Mason Inn. Literally everyone is so friendly and that seems surprising.

The dads discuss buche de noel aka yule log and then skip away to play billiards together. The sibling love story continues to unfold as they do some baking together. The dads share some eggnog and talk about Edgestone. They both don’t understand the appeal of big nice resorts when you can have a family-run inn with “character” and no amenities. Everyone knows “character” is a nice way of saying “needs updating”.

Julia and Ryan mosey through the bake-off sampling everything. Sounds like a dream. They find out that Eddie hasn’t actually SOLD his pub yet, he just received the offer.

I just realized Julie and Ryan is awfully similar to Juliette and Romeo. Nice one, Hallmark. Except Romeo and Juliette is like the worst Shakespeare story…okay maybe second to Titus Andronicus.

A lady excuses herself to get after those “reindeer tarts”, and I can’t imagine what that could be. But now she is FULL and is about to announce the winner! The first place winner is the CRAWLEY FAMILY Buche de noel! Grammie Crawley renames it the Crawley-Mason Family Buche de Noel.

After the bake-off, Julia literally falls into Ryan’s arms as they giggle about being a good team. Oh no, they kiss and her sister SEES THEM. I’m literally hiding under the covers embarrassed for them. Julia has HELL TO PAY for kissing Ryan. Now, Julia takes a call from her coworker Melissa saying that Thompson is back and just called her about the partnership. Julia seems unphased.

The next morning. Julia and Ryan are back up to their old tricks. They all sit down to make wreaths together. Papa Crawley says he MAJORED in wreath making. He loves a good garland. Ryan asks Julia to the Christmas prom. She would LOVE to go. She requests to be picked up in a one-horse open sleigh. But now, the families are fighting again. They think only one inn will survive once Edgestone moves in. They fight about which family gets to leave the wreath table first.

Julia and Ryan wonder if their love can survive this deep rift between their families. She says maybe she will just meet him at the dance instead.

Back home, Julia’s dad wraps his head around the idea of losing the inn. He says its not Julia’s problem because she lives in NYC. She assures him that this will always be her home. Later, she has several books propped open and is typing furiously. Oh, she has an idea. She hustles over to the Mason Inn. She is now on first-name basis with Papa Mason, Bill. She talks to Ryan about a legal loop-hole to save Eddie’s Pub. She wants both families to buy it together and make it into an upscale resort.

She wants to make an amendment to the town’s zoning laws. This will block corporations from just moving into any little town and closing their local businesses. She’s going to draft up the contract tonight and they will bring it up at the prom. Perfect. So, I actually like this whole idea. The market has demonstrated a need for an upscale resort with fancy amenities. These local inn owners are able to out compete the big resort and provide the amenities themselves. I am sort of Lukewarm about local businesses being able to keep out other businesses but if they amend the city zoning laws, I would hope the public would have an opportunity to comment. If they’re fine with it, then so am I.

Julia’s boss calls with good news. They want to offer her the senior associate position. They love her work and think she would be an asset to the team. They are going to hit the ground running on Jan 2 so she needs to get back right after Christmas. She says that will be no problem.

She shows up to the prom in a beautiful red dress. Her dad sees her looking longingly at Ryan Mason. He knows she likes him. Dads just know sometimes. But, do they?

Our announcer of every event welcomes everyone to the dance. It’s time to announce the Christmas Grand marshal. The winner is… Lexi Crawley! Brother Mason seems genuinely happy for her. Julia and Ryan decide to talk to their families now. The next scene shows Ryan and Julia on the other side of the dance floor, watching the families discuss the idea. Why they had to remove themselves from the discussion is beyond me.

Julia tells Ryan that she got the promotion and she has to leave the day after Christmas. He says he is happy for her. I appreciate that he doesn’t become a whiny baby about her leaving after the beautiful week they’ve had.

Let it be known that the run time of this movie says 2 hours, but I’m convinced that one hour of it is commercials.

Ok, Papa Mason tells Ryan that the families have decided to go forward with the deal! Those business plans were on point. Ryan would like the opportunity to run the joint inn. He is up for the task! His dad says he already told Papa Crawley that Ryan would be the best person for the job. They both cry and hug. The century-old feud is over. Huzzah!

Gam-Gam Crawley and Julia talk about Ryan again. Julia is sad to be leaving Crestridge. Grammie is so proud of Julia for bringing the families together but says nothing of use for poor Julia’s broken heart.

The Masons show up for the Crawley’s holiday breakfast. Ms Announcer tells them the bakery won the exterior décor contest. Brother mason and The Grand Marshal chat over breakfast. Julia’s dad hands Ryan a note that just says “meet me at the bar tonight.” No specific time.

Somehow they still manage to figure out those logistics. Julia meets Ryan and says she wanted to meet in this specific spot because its where he got her thinking about what makes life meaningful. In a shocking twist, we learn that she turned down the promotion and she decided to stay in Crestridge and open up her own law firm! Fast-track to making partner. Good luck to her! Glad she has free rent at her family’s inn!

 She says there is something about this town that makes her want to stay. He says oh you can’t put it into words? She says oh I can… my family, a job I can be proud of, and you. Barf. They kiss.

El fin.

Let’s see how we stacked up.

• Small town person
• Workaholic who WAS too busy for Christmas
• Christmas Contests all over the place
• Christmas Gala (dance)
• Christmas baking
• Snowball fight
• Christmas puns
• Sassy and wise best friend

Total score: 8/20

We are just churning through these this week. The Christmas Club premiered on November 27 on the Hallmark Channel. We’ve got some real Christmas movie pros in this ol boy. I was very much looking forward to this one and I must say, I was not disappointed. Let’s get it done.

I believe this movie takes place in New York but I am not sure. We begin in a dance studio. Our lead, Olivia is an instructor. She tells her daughter, who is also in her dance class, that she is doing a great job. Then she talks to the studio owner, who is about to have surgery and will miss the big Christmas recital. But the owner seems distracted by more than her surgery…or is she? The admin assistant tells Olivia to make a Christmas wish. She wishes for her daughter Maeryn to have a great year. The admin assistant wishes for a man for Olivia. TWO FULL TIME JOBS for this gal.

Edward is drinking cider at his sister’s house while he works. He is a busy businessman who is staying at his sister’s while he closes some big business deals. He might be doing too much business to help with decorating their tree.

Back at the studio, the assistant puts out her menorah. Olivia feels bad because she always gets her a gift for the first day of Hanukkah. She rushes out to buy something. Edward is on his phone doing busy businessman things down the street. Out front of a store, money flies out of an old woman’s hand. They help her inside to sit down. She says it was four twenties; $80 and she saved up all year so she could buy presents for her grandkids through her bank’s Christmas club. I definitely don’t tear up about this poor old woman saving all year to get to $80 for Christmas. Olivia and Edward go outside to “look for the money.” They each realize they have $40 in cash and decide to give it to her.

Inside, they both try to come up with how they found her money. It is a tall tale, but Gertrude is so relieved and thankful she doesn’t seem to mind. As they walk out, I get the feeling that ol Gertie may be up to something. They realize they are walking the same direction and chat as they go about fate and Christmas magic. Ed doesn’t believe in ANY of it. Too much business. They walk through a park that has all kinds of Christmas festivities going on. Ed shares that he doesn’t really live anywhere because he travels so much. Olivia shares that she loves snow at Christmas but hates it in April. This helps the audience understand that she is a rational, sane person. They go to buy some sort of seasoned nut… I can’t remember if it is a chestnut or pecan; and realize neither of them have cash! You’re telling me that in this day and age, this guy doesnt have a card reader for his phone? This poor non card reader owning cart manager decides to give these two their nuts for free.

They decide to sit on a swing together. She talks about what kind of dance she teaches and shares she used to be in the New York Ballet! But she prefers teaching to performing. Don’t these guys have anyplace to be? Ed shares that he is a business startup consultant. How do people have money for that when they are starting a business? But that’s what he does. And then they decide to part ways and don’t exchange numbers. Dummies.

Olivia returns to the studio with a Hanukkah gift. She goes up to talk to Maggie, the studio owner. The owner has decided to retire and close the studio. They are about to be out of a job! Couldn’t she just get someone to do the financials? Nope. She’s selling the whole property! Dang, she owns the space? Why doesnt she keep it and lease the space? I don’t get it. But she’s tired and she knows Olivia will be fine. Olivia does not know that. She is upset and leaves.

She gets in a cab and hears the guy leaving give the cab driver a $20 and to keep the change because he just found the twenty in the street. Ed approaches and just barely misses her.

Back at home Olivia’s mom makes eggnog and they cluck away. She tells her about Gertrude and Ed. The mom is more proud of her for speaking to a man than about giving a woman money to buy Christmas presents. Nothing will happen with Ed though, Mom. She tells her about the studio closing too. Her mom is not worried about her AT ALL though.

At Ed’s sister’s house, they are eating green bean casserole on just a random night. Pure insanity. Hey, is that dad from something else? Maybe the front desk dum dum from Merry and Bright?

The next morning, Olivia has time to leisurely sit on her chair and drink coffee and stare out the window. She and Maeryn decide to head to the Christmas festival. Oh, Ed’s sister is there….and so is ED. What! And then Gertrude peaks out from behind a fake Santa. They all agree that is SO WEIRD that they ran into each other again. Ed’s sister is like, hey husband, let’s go over here and bless his sweet red haired heart, he’s like no I’m good. And then he gets it. Olivia and Ed stroll around and chat some more.

She shows him her daughter and shares that she’s been widowed for 8 years. Maeryn shows up asks to go do a Christmas mural. They leave AGAIN without exchanging phone numbers. These guys. Ed’s sister does not stop working for ONE SECOND and decides they should go to the mural too. They have a nice sibling moment about undoing all their crappy childhood Christmas’s.

Well, surprise, surprise, they meet again at the mural. The mural is on a tiny like white board type thing that the whole city of New York is supposed to help build?

They go into a shop for hot chocolate and Olivia shares about her studio closing. Ed says he believes in her and she is very flattered. Ed gets very silly with his hot chocolate. I think Maeryn is explaining how to drink it and he pretends to take her instructions literally. Olivia is very amused. Olivia then helps him wipe it off. I just feel like these scenarios never happen. And kill me before someone else wipes my mouth off.

They go back to the park and chat some more. Usually he is only silly with his nephew, Connor. What would ol Gertie say if she saw them now? They get up because Maeryn is about to see Santa. Ed gives her his phone number. He writes it down on a napkin instead of typing it into her phone because they are Gen X. Maeryn asks Santa for more days like this. That’s sweet.

Back at home, (how do they live in a house and not an apartment?) Olivia sets the phone number out on the counter. Maeryn immediatelys spill her full hot chocolate all over the counter and then uses the phone number napkin to wipe it up. The number is completely ruined.

Three days go by and Ed is with his sister at the toy store. Why hasn’t Olivia called? The sister doesn’t remember what the dance studio is called. Oh, they live in Minneapolis. That makes sense.

Back at the dance studio, Olivia is teaching and the floor is covered with Christmas trees. The assistant is all stressed out about Ed but Olivia isn’t. She decides to run to the toy store in the middle of class to look for the jewelry box Maeryn wants.

At the toy store, a woman checking out doesn’t have enough money and layaway won’t work for her. The cashier offers her $20. She found it on the street and was saving it for a special opportunity. Then Olivia runs in to Ed’s sister. She is so glad. She might be an elder millennial so she gets Olivia’s number in her phone.

Ed is out with a client but he hears that Olivia’s studio is right by where he is!! So he stops by to see her. He didn’t want to take any chances not seeing her. They talk about the $20 situation at the toy store.

His client comes in and is like OMG I LOVE THIS PLACE LET’S GET IT. Olivia is a little upset. She walks outside. He catches up to her. He’s like, hey you should just open your own studio. I could help! That’s like, my exact job. Maggie accepts the offer from Ed’s client right away. Wow. Before Olivia leaves, Ed invites her to the Christmas Tree lighting that night. She agrees to go.

It’s the Christmas Tree lighting. Her mom is there too and everyone meets. Olivia pretends to ignore him. Ed charms Olivia’s mom’s socks off. All the kids get to help with the tree lighting. This is the best idea so far for a tree lighting. Olivia and Ed hold hands!! They all go off together. Olivia and Ed lag behind. They see a vacant office space for lease. Ed says it would be perfect for her studio! Just think about it. Olivia seems kind of excited but nervous. He tries to shoot down her reservations.

That night, Olivia and Maeryn have a nice bedtime moment. Then Olivia calls Ed and says she wants to see the space the next day!

The next day back at the studio, they are decorating for the recital. The new owner is letting them do the recital there. They talk about her opening her own studio. Ed shows up to go tour the studio or maybe some time has passed and they’ve done that. Olivia asks about the bank loan. He says he was going to brainstorm for her studio and she is actually free to help! He thought she’d be too busy for that but she isn’t.

They decide to go “grab a bite.” They are both too old to say that. Olivia puts on lip gloss and says she’s just going for a walk. Sure, Jan! He asks where to and she says they should just start walking. If I were hungry, this statement would give me anxiety. They seemingly go back to the pecan stand but that guy is now selling hot dogs. THAT’S NOT GOING TO BE ENOUGH FOOD. Ed gives the vendor money and tells him to keep the change. He says someone else did that too a few days ago. They see a carriage and decide to ride on it until it is dark. They have a lovely moment. Gertie sees them.

Back at Olivia’s house, Maeryn invites him to stay to help make cookies. And then we get a BAKING MONTAGE with the whole gang. They all sneak a cookie. He kisses her on the cheek when he leaves. I would honestly die of embarrassment if someone did that to me.

At Maggie’s studio the next day, Olivia is stressing about her small business loan going through. But Maggie has bad news. The insurance company won’t let them hold the Christmas recital there. So they actually don’t have a space for the recitial. Maggie honestly could not care less. Olivia decides to go to her new studio space. Ed finds her there. They can’t use her studio until the loan clears. She decides to talk to the bank by herself. They tell her that she probably won’t hear until after the new year.

That night, back at home, she is so distracted she wraps her own salt and pepper shakers. She and her mom talk about EVERYTHING. She gets an email. SHE GOT THE LOAN! Yay. They can host the recital there. She calls Ed. Except he’s already there! He just heard. Olivia feels like she did it all on her own. She offers Ed her mom’s leftover eggnog.

She and Ed go to the space and start talking about the space. She starts to spiral. He is being a great cheerleader. Then she gets a great idea. He says he’s very proud of her. And she bounces around the room. All the kids are helping decorate the new studio. Is there wrapping paper on the walls?

Olivia goes to a bakery and sees a wooden ornament for sale. It is a horse drawn carriage. She buys it. Gertie sees it. She stops by the bank and sees Ed there. What is he doing here? Oh no. She didn’t get the loan approved all by herself. Ed pulled some strings behind the scenes for her. She feels a little silly. Then she tells him she can’t be the reason he stays. And she can’t think about her heart right now. He is like, well geez. Now you’ve ruined Christmas again for me. She’s like, this has always just been about the studio. And he’s like, okay well then this has been pleasant and professional. Best of luck in the coming business year.

The next day, Olivia see the pecan stand at the park and ol Gertie is there too. They talk for awhile about Ed. Gertie gives her som love advice. She says she has to go back to work. Gertie says, “nothing a little Christmas magic can’t fix!” Sneaky little sneak.

At his sister’s, Ed is packing up. No point in staying for Christmas! He has to leave immediately. His sister gives him a pep talk. And I just realized Ed has a Christmas tree IN HIS BEDROOM. Nice work, Beth. Beth and fam are now so plugged in with Olivia that they are going to the recital. Her husband hands him a gift that Gertie gave him that is from Olivia. It is the ornament and a 20. And a note that says thanks for the most romantic business meeting of her life. Cute idea girl!

Outside the recital, Olivia is rocking a bold lip. The girls have cute little snowflake outfits. But real talk, is a Christmas Eve dance recital super annoying for families? They show too much of the kids’ dance routine. Also, there is no seating for anyone. SOUNDS FUN. After the recital she sees Ed. Oh he came to the recitial after all. He thanks her for the gift. She wonders how he got it… Gertrude. That sneaky Santa sneak. They apologize to each other. He asks if her dreams came true and she says, well that depends on whether you’re staying or not. And he says, yes he is! And then we see a painted mural on the side of the building of Gertrude appearing to be Mrs. Claus. And then we see her walking down some stairs. Ooooooh, girl. They decide to spend Christmas together with their families and then THEY KISS. Let’s see how we did.

• Workaholic too busy for Christmas
• Single parent
• Is that guy secretly Santa?
• Clumsy meet cute
• Christmas Pageant
• Christmas Festival
• Christmas Tree Lighting
• Christmas baking
• Christmas montage

Total score: 9/20

The movie begins on an old timely train. Why is it SO DECORATED for Christmas. Katie is snapping pics and kills her battery. She starts looking for a spot to charge her phone and literally falls into Ben. And then Hogwarts gets a shoutout. They are both on their way to Evergreen, Vermont. She says she’s heard so much about it and is going there on vacation…by herself. That’s not weird or sad or pathetic. She thinks Evergreen is a pretend and magical town. Actually, it sounds quite lovely. Anyway, she’s definitely NOT writing an article about the town. She’s taking a break while she thinks about writing a second novel. She leaves her charger on the train.

At the train depot, she decides to walk to her hotel because she’s heard it’s such a nice walk. She says “Merry Christmas” and everyone around says it back. She talks to her mom on the phone. Her mom is like, maybe you should write an article for my magazine while you’re on your solo vacation. Excuse me, the COVER STORY. Her battery flat out dies and she realizes her charger is gone. She walks around and runs into Michelle, the incoming mayor. And she sees a sign for the 50th anniversary of the Christmas festival. The outgoing mayor, Ezra, is helping with the sign. Michelle directs Katie to the general store.

She heads to Daisy’s General Store…shout out to last year’s Christmas in Evergreen and we see ALL THE GIRLS. The one from the first movie, Allie, is going to Paris to see her.. boyfriend still? She is talking to the girl from the second installment, who owns the general store, Lisa. The first girl is trying to get the second girl to foster two dogs over Christmas? And somehow Katie knows she owns the store. Lisa offers to go in and get the charger for her. They are across the board, super creepy to her. I mean, it’s supposed to be charming but it’s creepy. Lisa returns with a charger that is not in any packaging and also a beanie. She says the beanie is on her, but no money is exchanged so I think they’re BOTH on her. Then, Hannah, who is also standing with them offers to give Katie a ride to her hotel. This could turn into a horror movie at any moment.

Hannah drops Katie off. She meets Elliot. Hannah and Elliot have a cute back and forth and Katie thinks they’re dating. He mentions a secret time capsule in town. They aren’t sure it actually exists.

Katie is sitting in…the lobby? I’m not sure. But she’s all alone. Her mom calls asking if she’s write an article. Katie is like, yeah maybe there is a story here. All the stores have a Christmas theme!

The next morning, she goes to the library. Ben is reading to the kids. He is doing some embarrassing voices. She meets Nan, the librarian. Katie is looking for local history. Yawn. Lots of info about Vermont people. But what about Evergreen specifically? Oh! A hat from the hat factory in town. COOL. Ben comes up and accuses her of being a reporter. He’s like, but You said You WEREN’T writing an article. He is not stoked about her writing an article about their town.

David shows up. He wonders if they can have their historical society meeting at the cafe instead. Katie asks if she can come, but Ben does not want her there. David is a dumb dumb and invites her. They arrive at the Kringle Kitchen. The famous snowglobe is there and Katie makes a wish. Katie meets Carol and Joe, the owners of the diner and the parents of the girl in the first movie. She asks them to tell her about the time capsule. They do a flash back to what all their parents did before.

Nice moment with Elliot and Hannah while fixing the snowglobe. Hannah tells Elliot that her mom lost her wedding ring in the arts and crafts store or wherever they are.

Back at a the library, Dan talks about Calvin Coolidge. Katie talks about her article. He asks her about ice skating and she is like no way Jose. She seems very against winter sports. She leaves her printer page in the printer. The title so far is “Dollars and Sense”, and her basic premise is that the whole town puts on a production for the tourists and that their behavior is not genuine. Oooooh, Katie that is not going to go over well.

Carol is looking at the wood in Kringle Alley pushes her finger in a hole and it clicks.

Katie is talking to her mom on the phone in this beautiful kitchen and realizes her mistake with the copier. She starts walking over and sees all the commotion. The key under the sleigh fits in the hole. They twist it in and the wood falls and it looks like a giant advent calendar.

The only two old people still alive in town (apparently) talk about being snowed in all together for the entire month of December 50 years ago and how they decided to build a time capsule. Honestly, I’m just glad they didnt resort to cannibalism. And for some reason, it was supposed to be a surprise. But they had to guess it specifically on December 1 of this year, 50 years after they made it. Not one day early or late. So that was a pretty insane way to do things. Holly Peele, Michelle, opens the first day. The first day is from Carol’s mom and dad. She gets emotional. It’s a recipe book from her mom.

Katie gets to the library to get her paper. Ben found it. She tries to explain but boy, it’s tough. He is understandably upset. Ben’s job is to read at the library. How does he make money? Katie says she is really enjoying her time here. Ben say she should just write the article she wants to write. Girl, BYE.

It’s day two of the advent calendar. Michelle does all of the announcing. Nick and Nan get to open the second box. Ben gets it down for them because they’re old and can’t climb the later. Inside this box are a bunch of old musty skates and scarves.

Now we have a glass blowing montage? That is a first. Maggie explains about glass blowing. Elliot and Hannah are there having a ghost moment making the dome for the snowglobe. Then Maggie is like, word is, Daisy’s general store could use help. Like are these all group projects? And it is an outdoor project. Katie talks to her about her movie last year. She says she had to learn how to be surprised again? I am just not following.

Ben is out the door and sees a gift and note from Katie. It is a cute snowflake ornament. The skating pond is gorg. He finds her at the pond. They talk about their conversation the day before. Holly shows up and sees Thomas on the ice. Did they get together in the last movie? I can’t remember. Oh yes they did. And that boy was in the movie too. Katie hobbles along on the ice. He shares that he got divorced and ended up coming back to Evergreen and stayed. What’s the dating scene here? Small. They have a moment. It looks like he’s going to kiss her but actually he is trying to get a snowflake. Is it just me or does this relationship not working? It just doesn’t feel natural at all. I love these two actors but in this story, I just don’t buy these two together yet. The first couple days Ben seemed like he was trying to shake her off at every turn and now he’s happy to meet her for ice skating? And Katie really seems like she’s just forcing herself into all the town goings on but it doesn’t feel like she’s earned them. And the town people are all like just going with it. I guess it’s old hat now.

It’s day 3 but we don’t see the prize. But we’ve got a montage! Katie working on her story and all of a sudden we’re on day 12. Katie is still working on that gosh darn story. It’s day 14 and Ben got some cookie cutters. Now she and Ben are working on the article STILL. TWO WEEKS. It’s taken her TWO WEEKS to write a 600 word article? Oh did she mention that she is leaving tomorrow? This seems to be brand new information to Ben.

Nan walks in wearing her mother’s caroling scarf….because that’s a thing. But also I LOVE IT. Katie is wearing a non Christmasy sweater. Nan invites her caroling anyway. David and the girl are still working on the snowglobe. He sends her to look for glitter in the bottom drawer of a cabinet. She sprinkles some in. This snowglobe is way tinier than I remember. And WHOA. She found her mom’s engagement ring in the glitter? What in the world. Why would it be in the glitter? But I’m ruining their nice moment. Okay, I would WAY RATHER BE WATCHING THIS MOVIE. She invites him caroling. WHAT ABOUT THE GLOBE?! It’s filled with water still!!

Oh, Ben is playing the guitar while he carols. Isn’t that breaking the rules?

It’s s’more time for the Carolers. WHO DECIDED that s’mores are Christmasy? She talks about changing her traditions with her mom. If you change them, do they become less special? I guess it depends on how much you like doing the traditions the same exact way. She talks about her traditions with her mom. Ben says that he had just come from a job interview when he was on the train. It went poorly.

Michelle and Thomas have their own nice moment with the s’mores. Are they engaged?

Ben suggests Katie stay longer. Maybe another day?

Katie interview Carol about all the new recipes. David and the black girl come in with the new and improved snow globe. It’s time to open another calendar box. Hannah looks determinedly at the globe and tries again. Nick looks on.

Oh, Katie gets to do it. There will be actual residents who don’t get a turn but okay. Whoever opens the box has to say a Christmas activity they love and the WHOLE TOWN has to do it together. Geez Louise. Okay, so now the whole town is building snowmen together.

Ezra is just so happy. He said he took risks and now he’s found someone. Hannah gives her brother her mom’s engagement ring. OH YAY! He’s going to propose to Holly.

They’re all SO HAPPY TO MAKE SNOWMEN. She’s like, okay bye. And they’re all like, okay! Never see you again! She was there for OVER TWO WEEKS. What in the world.

The black girl walks into the church and hears David playing. He starts playing heart and soul but then she starts playing Oh Christmas Tree. It’s cute. Again, I want to watch their movie instead. She tells him she likes him! Oh yay. He likes her too! Oh this is so lovely. WHAT HAPPENS IF THEY WORK OUT HANNAH! Ew. She says, how about we start with some hot cocoa. So now they’re dead to me.

Ben walks Katie to the train. Again, they’re basically cold turkey sandwiches to me at this point. She kisses him on the cheek. Goodbye, who cares.

Back home with her mom and Katie is finally wearing a great Christmas sweater. Her mom says her article should be a novel instead of an article for her business magazine. I think that makes sense.

Ben is back a the library. His grandma sent his resume to some newspaper. He has an interview! She’s like, don’t stay here for silly old me. More montages! More advent boxes. Ben looks at pictures and so does Katie. Katie goes shopping with her mom. Ben texts Katie. He’ll be in town for lunch tomorrow!

They are both VERY dressed up for lunch. Ew, they ordered wine at this VERY fancy place and then got blueberry pancakes. They catch up about the calendar. She invites him to her mom’s Christmas party. He asks her why her article hasn’t come out. And she’s like, yeah that was a big waste. He hands her a newspaper article. Is it a real newspaper? But oh no. He didn’t get the job he interviewed for. Katie is wearing a great scarf. Should we say some confusing things about our feelings before we walk away again? That’s great. AHH! They kiss!! But she can’t leave her mom at Christmas. But neither of them can leave their families for Christmas. BUT THEY KISS AGAIN. What is happening.

It’s Christmas Eve in Evergreen. Hannah gets to open a giant box. She starts to read but decides to let Ezra, the outgoing mayor read the rest. Whoa. The box is filled with savings bonds. Like a stack. How did the two oldies not know about this? At the festival that night, they are supposed to open the final green envelope.

At the library, Nan introduces her new employee, Nick. Who is NOT Santa Claus. Ben wonders about story hour. They have someone reading already…at the festival. Oh, it’s Katie. She’s back on Christmas Eve. What is she doing here? Oh, she came back for Ben. Oh she LOVES him now and they kiss AGAIN. She’s staying for Christmas….but the city will always be her home. He meets her mom. Oh, her mom really likes his article about the female run businesses in Evergreen. She might like him to interview with her business magazine.

Nick says she did a great job with the snowglobe and says some things just take a little nudge. But he’s NOT Santa Claus so stop asking. It’s time for the final gift. They toast Ezra for all his years of service…This guy is like, early thirties, tops. Little David gets to open the last gift. And then he and his Dad have a little thing organized to propose to Michelle. SHe says yes twice before he even asks.

The last envelope says the town should fill the boxes again and seal it up for 50 more years. But I think they should do it every year. That is a cute idea for this weird cult town. Then the entire town marches through town with candles. Ben and Katie head back to New York.

David makes Hannah a cute mini advent calendar. Ben moved to the city and she wrote all the stories of the town that we’ve watched the last three years. And they’re just kissing all over the place!! And that’s it. We did it. Let’s see how we stacked up.

• Small town person
• Is that guy secretly Santa Claus?
• Clumsy Meet-Cute
• Christmas Festival
• Winter athletics
• Christmas puns
• Christmas montage

Total score: 7/20 Kind of light on tropes for the third installment in this series!!