Category Archives: WinterFest 2020

This is the last movie in the WinterFest series. I have really enjoyed these. I love celebrating Winter for Winter’s sake. Also, this title has NOTHING to do with the plot of this movie. Hearts of Winter premiered on January 26 on the Hallmark Channel.

The movie begins with intro shots of people doing fancy place settings. Oh, looks like Jill is an interior decorator again. Here, her name is Bethany. Bethany seems like a perfectionist. Her friend/coworker is trying to rush her out the door to beat traffic. She is going to be on the news to talk about her book!

Bethany gets interviewed on a show called “Hello, Today”. She’s developed a system for interior design. She is trying to help bring meaning, abundance and peace into people’s homes.

At another house, a tween, (Zoe) makes pancakes for herself and is watching the show. Her dad, Grant is doing laundry….and failing. He turned her white skating or gymnastic leotard pink. Zoe reminds her dad that she wants to get some knickknacks to decorate the kitchen. She asks her dad to tell her the story about the pancake bowl they use.

Back on Hello, Today, Bethany announces that a family in Denver can win a home makeover! Yes, I’m in. Zoe writes down the contest info and she and her dad book it out the door.

After the show, the good news keeps coming. Her assistant/coworker says a magazine wants to cover the home makeover. But to get it done in time for the issue, they have to have it done in three weeks. Which means now people only have two days to enter! Doesn’t it seem like people would be really upset about that? Only getting two days to fill out the application?

Grant is a busy business man at work. Maybe he works at a ski lodge? He’s walking and talking with an employee with a clipboard. Very serious business.

His employees just keep hitting him with bad news. They overbooked a cooking lesson for guests and a sleigh is broken and there aren’t any others available. He is just stressed to the MAX.

Then we learn that the man wearing a chef apron that is just labeled as “Chef” is his best friend from high school, Joel. Zoe calls and asks if he got her the book she needed for her book report. She seems old enough to figure that out? He is too busy and didn’t get it done.

Bethany does a book reading of her book “The the Neat of Your Own Drum” at a bookstore. Oh, coincidence. They rush to the bookstore to pick something out. Bethany inserts herself into the conversation. She makes a suggestion-a book series that she loved as a kid. Zoe recognizes her from TV this morning. Bethany gives Grant a nice look. Also, Jill is definitely pregnant while filming this.

Back at home, Joel shows up to help make dinner for the guy and Zoe.

At Bethany’s, her brother shows up to say hi. She has a nice heart to heart with him about the contest and stuff. Her house is surprisingly not super modern.

Joel seems to do very little work. He has conspired with Zoe to enter this contest without her dad knowing. They agree that she reads and he’ll type. First of all, she’s reading way too fast. Second, he doesn’t even pretend to start typing. And finally, why can’t she type it herself?

Bethany sees the application and is so moved by it that she wants to choose them.

Later, Zoe has a skating lesson. She realizes the time and tries to hustle her dad along. Oh, now I see. Because the home makeover people are arriving. Grant is sort of…more chill than I thought he would be. Bethany shows up to the house with cameras and stuff behind her. They both realize they’ve met each other. If you told me that Zoe was a short 30 year old, I would believe you. They walk in and Bethany starts to take everything in. The camera people are just going crazy. The assistant seems to brush off the fact that Grant didn’t agree to let his home be photographed for the magazine spread. Or that he wasn’t the one that sent in the application.

Bethany is making plans and talking into the camera with all her ideas. Grant is growing more reluctant by the minute. Bethany finally realizes that Grant did not want to participate in this. Bethany goes back and forth between saying they are just making minor changes to saying things like “all this furniture has to go.” Then Bethany asks for an extra set of keys and he doesn’t have any. Not concerned about getting locked out? Then the assistant asks for a phto of the three of them. Now, normally for this photo, you would have Bethany take off her jacket. But Jill is pregnant so obviously the jacket stays on.

At bedtime, Grant tries to get Zoe to be more apprehensive of this whole thing. But it doesn’t work. Then they say a prayer that her mom used to say with her which is sweet. Then, Grant trips over Zoe’s skates at the bottom of the stairs. Grant should chill. He’s for real getting like all brand new interior for nothing.

Back at home, Bethany drinks “wine” with her coworker and realizes she needs to help Grant picture what she plans to do.

The next day, Bethany calls Grant at work. Bethany invites Grant to go furniture shopping with her. Wow this is ALOT like Jill’s Christmas movie. He agrees but he is a BUSY SINGLE DAD BUSINESS MAN so can she meet him at Zoe’s skating practice at 3?

Zoe practices skating and Grant watches. Bethany arrives. They talk about the makeover and talks about Bethany’s intentions for the house. She wants him to love it. Grant is like, okay we can go while Zoe finishes this practice. So, they have two hours to shop! At the furntiture store, Bethany tries to talk Grant into a couch that doesn’t look very comfortable. She cannot articulate what is wrong with the couch he has now. She wants him to close his eyes and visualize himself in the house with the furntiture. Grant is uncooperative. She immediately gives up on furniture. How about knickpacks and pillows? He COULD. NOT. CARE. LESS. I immediately start laughing at the thought of Jay being forced to do this after my death. It would be about the same. Except I’m not sure you could get him to three interior decoration stores. He reluctantly picks out a lamp and then he gives her a spare set of keys.

Later, Grant grumbles to the Chef. He suggests that Grant invite her to dinner at the restaurant. Bethany should be able to tell that all this stuff reminds him of his deceased wife so getting rid of everything all Willy nilly is probably hard for him. In the kitchen, Bethany almost tosses the special pancake bowl! He tells her it’s special to him and she immediately sets it aside. Then he invites her to dinner at the lodge and she is super stoked about that. I notice that she is wearing a GREAT pink sweater.

The next night, they meet for dinner. The hostess asks to JUST TAKE HER SCARF. Oh good, she got her jacket too. Another great sweater. The Chef, Joel, made them a special menu. Joel whisks Zoe off to see them make bananas foster. Grant tells Bethany she looks nice. Grant pours her wine but ol Jill can’t drink that! Even for pretend! Jill says she wants to honor the special bowl and suggests a shadow box. But he wants it to be used. Grant thinks about a display shelf. Then Grant agrees that he will have a better attitude about everything.

The next day, she has another heart to heart with her brother.

Later, Bethany and Grant try shopping again. They both joke around about a piece of art. Grant is drawn to a painting. Bethany asks what he likes about it. It’s a scene of a cabin in the winter in the woods. It reminds him of his grandparents’ cabin. He tells a very lovely story about it. Bethany is like cool but it doesn’t really go with anything. Actually she says it “goes with the whole theme” because he loves it. What if he had seen that painting of the dogs playing poker with each other and had a nice story about that? What would you have done then, Bethany?

Back at home, they show him the home office they put together. They have the desk looking out “On nature” which is just the houses across the street. But she did make a pillow for one of the chairs out of the old comforter in Zoe’s room, which he really loves.

Back at work, Grant is all Colorado business. He has a blazer, jeans and no tie. He can’t get Zoe. She says she’ll call Joel and ask for a ride. Shouldn’t that be Grant’s job…to arrange something? Joel’s phone goes straight to voicemail. Zoe very BOLDLY calls Bethany and asks for a ride. Brazen. How does she have her number?

Grant gets home and the girls are reading/discussing the book that Bethany suggested. Grant brought some treats home to say thank you. He notices that they have a new kitchen table.

The next day, Bethany talks to her assistant. She has some…news. Her video updates that she’s been posting have the internet “shipping” her and Grant. Everyone wants them to get together! Bethany has a modest 200k followers. Bethany is “trending” ever since the contest started.

Bethany does more silly visualization technices with Grant for pillows. Grant is not totally on board. But this approach leads to Grant picking the ugliest pillow. He hits her with the pillow. Winterfest’s version of a snowball fight! Zoe gets in on it. Later at a coffee shop, Joel meets the assistant.

They talk about when they’ll see each other next. Probably later tonight. Joel suggests taking her to do something fun. But he’s so busy with the cross country ski tour and the snowman building class…Oh, come on, GRANT!

Later, Bethany’s brother is back over. Didn’t he say something about having kids? Why is he over there all the time?

Grant calls Bethany to tell her that he will be at the house when she gets there tomorrow and he has a surprise for her. Her brother wonders if he needs to help her come up with an excuse to bail. She’s like, no, I’m good. And then the brother is like, oh you LIKE him.

Ugh. Bethany arrives the next day with the best sweater yet. Grant and Zoe are both being weird. Bethany wonders if we should bring in the tables first? Nope. They keep standing in the doorway and won’t let her in. Just tell her to get in the car for heaven’s sake, you weirdos.

At the lodge, they yell “surprise” when they approach a woman holding two sets of cross country skis. Bethany is like, cool the surprise is…exercise. No, no this sounds super fun! I can’t wait. I love to use every ounce of strength I have to move 25 feet through the snow. When they’re done with that, they make a snowman. Later, Bethany calls her assistant to check in. Somehow the assistant is not annoyed that Bethany isn’t helping. After she gets off the phone, they roast marshmallows. Bethany says she’s the kind of gal that accidentally lights her marshmallows on fire. The best way! Grant teachers her to get them golden brown. Joel agrees to like do everything for Zoe that evening. Truly Hallmark’s BEST wingman. I hope he gets together with the assistant for all his trouble.

Grant says they are going for a walk around the mountain. Bethany is like, but it’s dark and cold. He throws a scarf at her and says she should be fine. What happened to that big bulky yellow coat she was wearing earlier? That would do the trick. Grant gives Bethany a lesson on space.

Bethany says she hasn’t even thought about Grant’s house all day. She said it was nice to take a break. Even though she probably worked harder today than any day interior decorating They have a nice moment looking at each other and then it starts snowing.

He brings her back home. Then he tells her to stay in the car for a second. Oh, he opens her door for her. Now there are more surprises. They walk to the newly decorated patio and he shows her the lights. She is surprised. He hung them himself! Oof. I love that patio space but she has really short changed them with what she’s put together out there. It should be like an outdoor living room. My dream. He gives her a blanket and they have a moment and then poor Joel comes out with a frying pan. He thought they were raccoons. She leaves in a rush.

The next day, the assistant is like why are we meeting at a coffee shop. She’s like we have to get to the house! Bethany is like girl. We almost kissed. She is SO panicked about. And has lots of rational reasons to panic. But her assistant is like forget all that. She gives her some nice advice though.

Back at the house, I am relieved they weren’t done with the patio. They chat about what happens next after the contest. What will happen with her and Grant? Or her career? Who knows? The world is her oyster.

When Grant and Zoe arrive, Zoe shares that her skating practice went well. Zoe invites her to her skating exhibition. Grant is like, yeah come! Bethany agrees then. Love that blue top of hers.

It’s time for the skating exhibition. Oh good, Zoe is first. She’s even got a nice white leotard. Apparently she only started skating three months ago. Well that’s nice. Bethany is like, oh she’s gonna win. Grant is like oh no there’s no medals. He’s so happy about her performance that he hugs Bethany and picks her up? Dude, chill!

Back at the house, they’ve got a way too small entry way set up. Zoe’s skates fill up the whole drawer! They had all the shoes out by the front door before! This is not a solution. The rest of the house looks great. Bethany points out that they’re almost done which means she won’t be around anymore. It bums them all out.

Back at the house, Bethany films an intro for the spread. Grant and Zoe are all dressed up for the photos and video. She asks them what their favorite part. Grant says the free furniture! JK, the best part was having Bethany there. Oh boy. Was not expecting that! Oh they even made that painting work that Grant liked. Now it’s time for some pictures on the sofa. They take two pictures on the couch and apparently they are all done. Grant suggests pizzas for dinner. Bethany says NO, let’s cook. What! You’re passing up pizza?! Oh, Zoe helpfully reminds them that it’s taco Tuesdays.

Bethany looks out at the patio. It looks much better but he needs a big outdoor kitchen situation.

Oh boy, they are doing THE MOST-homemade tortillas. Zoe gets her mom’s bowl out and puts it on the edge of the counter absentmindedly and the bowl breaks. I audibly gasp. Even though I should have known. Bethany totally takes the blame for it. Grant is so sad. He says, let’s do dinner another night. The assistant comes in at the TOTAL WRONG TIME. Now Grant starts to totally unravel. He wants the glue. Girl, what are you doing with the glue? Rebecca (his wife) wanted to decorate this house and didn’t get the chance. Bethany is very nice about all of it.

At bedtime, Zoe is like, I need to tell you something about Bethany. He’s like not now. And then they say the special prayer. Oh, I didn’t notice the special handshake before.

The next day, Bethany is wearing a great camel (?) color sweater. She is looking at the photos from the house. The assistant is like, you should just call him.

At skating practice, Zoe finally admits that it was her fault that the bowl broke. Grant is like, oh well thanks for telling me. Zoe is like, see now you don’t have to be mad at her anymore. Grant is like, does she even want to be friends? Zoe is like, just do it? Tell her how you feel. What, like it’s hard?

Bethany talks about everything with her brother over some kind of Mexican takeout soup.

Grant mopes at the lodge with Joel. He asks Joel what he thinks of Bethany. Joel is like dude, she’s great. Grant is afraid to upset the apple cart. He says he’s not ready. Joel is like wait a minute. I’m not giving you an excuse to not go after something with Bethany.

Bethany preps for another talk show. I love her assistant’s sweater and shirt combo. The assistant reminds her to be present.

Bethany goes on the show. The host says all they want to know is if something is going on with her and Grant. Bethany says no, she hasn’t spoken to him since the contest ended. The host is like, oh you are disappointing a lot of viewers. Then the host asks to take a question from the audience. Well, guess what, the audience member is Grant. He says he misses her and wants her to come over for dinner. For pancakes. The assistant and Zoe pipe up too. THIS IS GREAT TELEVISION. Then they KISS. And Zoe comes up to hug her.

That night, Bethany arrives. Bethany is impressed by how Zoe has set everything up. Grant is standing outside. He hands her a glass of wine or something? Then Zoe pops out to say that next time they decorate her room, she wants turquoise. They look at each other and kiss again. We see them eating dinner from outside. Wait, are they not going to do something special with the pieces of the bowl?! I was waiting for like a cool mosaic thing? Really? Ugh. I guess that’s it.

And that wraps up WinterFest! I really liked these. Which was your favorite? My favorite was probably Winter in Vail.

Stay tuned for Valentine’s movies which start next week. No rest for the weary!

Amazing Winter Romance premiered on January 20, on the Hallmark Channel.

We begin with intro shots of kids running slow motion through a GIGANTIC SNOW maze. And there is a lovely fire pit in the middle. That looks awesome.

Our lead, Julia is in a yoga class. She is about as good at yoga as I am. Actually, no she is worse.

At work a woman double fists smoothies. She gives Julia one that looks like its been half drunk already. So that’s weird. Julia seems to be a columnist or writer at a magazine or something. She seems to be in a state of ennui. She is not inspired and all her articles have been garbage apparently. So, her boss decides to send her back home to get inspiration. Her boss is like, frankly you’ve been really sucking lately so you need to figure it out.

Julia hits the open road. She ends up in WILLISTON. Which is literally where I am from in North Dakota. I am legit freaking out over this. This is obviously not filmed in Williston but I think it is supposed to be my home town!

Julia walks into a coffee shop and sees her friend Nora. She needs some hot chocolate and those famous brownies. Same. She keeps hearing people talking about the snow maze. She gets back on the road and heads to her parents’ house. She gets her mom up to speed on everything happening in the big city. Her parents are like, I wish you would just move home. Also, why did she drive home? Why wouldn’t she fly? Her mom mentions asking “Nate” about all the snow they’ve been getting.

She drives over to…Nate’s? house? And a dog, Theo hops around in the snow. Nate is surprised to see her. Nate is there with his niece, Ava. Julia says she needs to see whatever it is that Nate built. Nate used ALL that extra snow to build a snow maze. Truly top notch idea.

Ava takes off into the maze. Then, Nate uses a shortcut to take Julia to check out the fire pits in the center of the maze. Nate says it takes about an hour to get through but he built a bunch of emergency exits. Apparently Ava’s parents split up.

Oh they have a super cute set up in the middle. Just a free for all of ice cream, cookies and other items. Oh, the ice cream is homemade even. This must be North Dakota. What other type of people would eat ice cream outside in the winter? Nate shows her the plans and gives her the rundown. Apparently Williston is HOPPING in the summer? But business is slow in the winter? What industry is there, in Hallmarkland? What is bringing people to Williston in the summer? Is it the humidity? The bugs? The friendship?

Nate and Julia establish they are both single. And they are both sorry they didn’t stay in touch. He asks if she’s going to be in town for a while when his dog happily starts barking and prancing in the maze.

At home, Julia goes through her photos from the day. Then she puts a blanket on her dad in the living room. Her mom says her dad has been plowing SO MUCH snow. She tells her mom she only sees Nate as a friend. Then her mom says a weird quote of her dads? In a weird voice. Good news, Julia has one too. It’s uncomfortable.

The next day, Julia wanders around town snapping photos with her phone with it’s Boomer case. She helps Nora unload her car. Nora reiterates that summers are busy there. A stranger, Skye, hugs Julia because a handshake is too formal. Oof. Please don’t hug people hello. Respect their boundaries and personal space. It’s not polite. Skye is VERY enthusiastic about lots of things. She is also really bad at art.

Julia heads back home. Her dad has to head out to plow because they got TWO INCHES of snow. Julia is going to help out! She and Nate bet each other how long it will take to plow a parking lot. They make a giant snow pile and they comment how the kids will love this at school. And let me tell you, YES they will. Giant piles of snow were my favorite thing as a kid. Then, they go play on the swing set. Overly enthusiastic Skye shows up with something in a thermos for Nate. Skye clearly feels threatened. About her friendship with Nate, about her connection with Williston. She is so weird. Oh and then Julia thanks her for the tea even though she didn’t bring any for her. Was that a savage dig? Julia and Nate have a weird moment reminiscing and decide to head back to work.

The next morning, Julia tries to be a good sport after only getting 4 hours of sleep. Her mom has made some truly beautiful looking muffins. She heads to the maze. She sees Nate’s sister, Brooke, there. Brooke brought her class to the maze on a field trip. Nate engages them in a snowball fight.

Later, she FaceTimes with her boss and she LOVES the article. Julia isn’t fired! Yay.

Julia goes back to the Maze looking for Nate. Wow there is even a Sheldon in this movie. Just like in actual Williston. Nate is nowhere to be found. Julia continues to take phone pics with her Boomer phone case. Nate dares her to sled down a steep hill in jeans. She’s like are you kidding? No one wants frozen jeans. Are you insane? But then he double dog dares her so she has to. Oh wait no, SHE double dog dares him.

The sledding hill does seem super aggressive. But Nate is just fine so one learns any lessons about the danger of snow sports. Nate wants to show Julia something. Inside the tent is a guest book so people can write down about their experience. Actually he describes it and then Julia says, so like a guest book? And he says kind of…and then describes a guest book. So what are we doing here, guys? Anyway, then he says he heard that if you write something down, it stays with you. Yes, I think I heard like ALL OF MY TEACHERS EVER say that to me to ensure I would take good notes so I could pass a test. Hello isn’t that the entire point of the written word. Alright so I’ll give Nate a little pat on the head for that comment. But Julia goes the extra mile and smashes a big handful of snow in his face.

Later, Nate, Julia and his niece, Ava, who has one of the most annoying chidlren’s voices of all time, head to Nora’s for some ho cho. Look, it’s my blog so I can call it ho cho okay? Call it hot cocoa on your own blog. Julia is super jealous and uncomfortable with Skye and brings her up again. Nate and Nora are like, ::cat hiss noises:: Nora says she’s from Switzerland but has managed to completely lose her accent in the twenty years she’s lived there. After the hot chocolate, Julia decides to take a walk. Ava tells Nate he should tell Julia to stay longer.

Julia runs into Skye. Literally. She notices that Skye has something from a bakery in New York. It’s a care package from her parents in New York. Then Skye complains about how awful New York is. But I have so many questions. Did she just randomly move to this small town? Was she previously part of a failed Hallmark movie where she moved to Williston at the end but then she and the guy didn’t work out? Is she in witness protection?

Back at home, Julia’s dad shows her a snowmobile he bought without consulting his wife. He doesn’t want her to worry about his safety. But I guess he doesn’t care if she had other plans for the THOUSANDS of dollars he spent without talking to her. Like hello you could have gotten her the PELOTON she asked for. Just saying.

The Maze is just hopping. Julia asks how he actually built the maze and he says it was a team effort by the community. That’s nice. I really do like the snow maze concept. I want to go to one and I want to get hot chocolate after. Oh wow, it even has a snow angel segment. Is Julia making a snow angel in corduroy pants? Oh please no. I hope she has snow pants on. Ava makes a theologically incorrect statement but she’s a child so I’m going to give her a pass.

Back at home, Julia does some work on her laptop. All this time, I thought that photo of her and a young boy on her dresser was some yet to be mentioned brother but now I realize it’s Nate.

Julia calls her boss and her boss is like, your articles are finally good again so you should just stay there.

How does Nora manage this place and the shop in town. That VERY GOOD DOG is there just hoping people give him a little bite of something. Julia is like, dog, can you have fries? And he gets sad and just runs off. Now she feels like she has to find Theo the dog in the maze. But she also told Nora she’d watch the place. She leave a trail of French fries but the dog comes back around and eats them all. Julia panics. The dog gives zero bothers. I’m not sure why she felt she had to track down the dog? He seems perfectly fine wandering around the maze and finding his way in and out.

Skye shows up with her art class. How did she get a job teaching art if she’s so bad at it. Then both ladies are little snarky and passive aggressive to each other for like…living in different towns?

Julia gets a call from her dad. He needs help running the plows. Nate agrees to go too. Skye wants to come by Nate’s house later to tell him her “big idea for the maze”. Oh bless her heart.

Back at her house, she shows Nate the snowmobile. Nate is like, let’s take it out! Aren’t they supposed to be working? Or helping. Oh these idiots. Then they stop and stare at a bridge. Again, aren’t they supposed to be working? I’m more mad about that than them taking the snowmobile out without asking her dad.

Nate asks Julia if she misses home. He’s like is Chicago home? And she’s like well I don’t know. Probably not. Nate tries to give her some advice. Then Julia finally comes to her senses and is like we better beat my dad home!

Back in the garage, they furiously wipe down the snowmobile. They are just so casual about this. Oh no. Dad shows up. And they are SO busted. They both throw each other under the bus. He tells them to go. Go where? Nate invites Julia over for dinner.

Oh here we learn that Julia got lost in a corn maze so she is legitimately panicked about being in the maze. Ava wants to go back to the maze and make s’mores. Skye arrives and gives Julia an awkward hug. She only hugs Julia. Her GREAT IDEA is lights. Why didn’t she just show up with these lights like at the maze one day. Also, Skye brings like 5 lights and is like, Nate will you help me put these up? And Nate is like, yes lets go put up this sad half bin of lights.

Ava and Julia have a weird heart to heart as they fill up ice lanterns.

Ew they all call Ava “monkey”. Nate asks Julia to help put up lights inside the maze. She is like naaaahhhhhhh. Oh will her jealousy override her fear. Skye is SO WEIRD. Also, is she 22 or 45? I can’t tell. Skye says Williston is really starting to grow on her. But isn’t she like, weirdly obsessed with the town. As Nate and Skye turn a corner, Julia looks like she’s climbed up a wall of the maze. Julia is like, I should probably write my article. And Skye is like, K BYE.

Later, Julia and her mom hand wash dishes even though they have a massive modern house so they must have a dishwasher.

Back at Nate’s house, I wonder what in the world time it is? He says that Skye just let after they finished up the maze and so it must be the middle of the night. Nate’s sister is like, dude both girls like you. And Nate is like, whaaaaat?

Julia starts her article. And reads what she types out loud. Does anyone do that? I don’t. Maybe I should. I do like her purple sweater. Wait, now it’s the next day? Nate is over. Julia says she’s stalled out on this article. How many articles is she going to write about this maze? Nate invites her to take a little break. Julia’s parents sing that song from Beauty and the Beast…something there that wasn’t there before.

And now it’s night again? I thought it was just morning? Anyway, now they’re ice skating. She is pretty terrible for someone who just said they played youth hockey. Super cute ice rink though. And a cool light up tunnel? Nate is like, you HAVE to go through the maze. Whatever he says sparked her inspiration so she runs home to write the article instead of going through the maze. EVERYONE IS READING HER ARTICLE.

The next day, her boss tells her that EVERYONE is reading the article and there is even a hash tag happening. Williston is about to be flooded with visitors. Sure, Jan.

Later, Nate and Julia take care of some horses. They decide to take them for a ride. Boy, what can’t this girl do? They talk about the maze. And then Julia brings up Skye and goes overboard in being cool and is like I dare you to ask her out on a date.

That night, she stands outside with just a blanket around her. No one does that. Her mom joins her and asks if she’s going to go back to the city. Her mom is like, are you happy in Chicago? And her mom is like you probably aren’t happy. You should move back here and marry Nate. And Julia is like chill mom, there’s still 30 minutes left of the movie.

At the maze, Nate and Brooke have a heart to heart. He’s like, yeah she told me to go on a date with Skye. And Brooke is like yeah she’s just being dumb. Oh good that saved us some time. Thanks Brooke!

Outside, there is TONS OF TRAFFIC. Oh her little ol article brought ALL THESE PEOPLE. The maze is just JAM PACKED. Oh help me Ronda. The news is here now. Julia tries to escape but Nate won’t let her. Nate says he plans to bring the snow maze back every where if there’s snow. Julia shares that she has to head back. She’s like, K Imma go pack. Nate chickens out and says “Thanks for everything.”

Back at her parents’ house, Julia packs up her suitcase. Oh, that’s right. She drove here so she can leave whenever she wants. Her parents are SO dramatic about her not living in the same town as them. Julia asks her dad tons of very logical questions. Like, what would I do in Williston? And he’s like, no idea but we just want you to keep living here regardless.

Skye and Nate hang out after the maze closes. Skye is like I could really use a hot tea. Yuck. He agrees to join her and she needs to chill. Julia walks up to the maze right after Nate turns the lights off and decides to walk through. She holds a sparkler as she goes and looks at all the kid artwork int here. Oh there’s ice sculptures in there. Oh no, her sparkler fizzled out. But she made it! She didn’t get lost or panicked. She runs into the barn area to write in the guest book.

Then she heads to Nate’s house and she wants to talk to him. Brooke is like, oh Nate’s not here. Julia is like, oh is he working with my dad? Julia, you know your dad is at home? It’s the middle of the night? Brooke is like, dang sorry. He’s out with Skye. She’s bummed.

At the coffee shop, Skye asks if Julia is leaving. Skye is like so obsessed with living in a small town. Julia walks by and sees them talking. And she sees Skye put her hand on his arm. Then Nate gives her the “Listen, Skye” spiel. Skye admits that she’s been trying really hard to make this work. Living in Williston. So apparently, she’s going to move back to New York. Boy, what a roller coaster for ol Nate. He decides to go for a drive.

The next morning, Julia’s mom packed her lots of snacks for her drive. Her dad does some dad things. Why doesn’t anyone fly in these movies?

At Nate’s house, Brooke is judgy about when Nate got home the night before. Brooke is like well why did she seem so bummed last night? Go finally tell her how you feel, you big dummy! Instead, he heads to the maze and reads the guest book.

Julia’s parents drink sad lonely cups of coffee. Nate shows up. Apparently that’s just his car…with the shovel on it. Nate is like, I tried a calling her but she didn’t answer. So Nate decides to catch up with her with a road stoppage. Very elaborate. Or was that just a coincidence? Julia gets out of her car for some reason. Oh, no he planned it and now all the people stuck behind Julia are paying the price. Nate tells Julia how he feels. He’s like stay here. Why couldn’t he go to Chicago? It would make so much more sense for him to go to Chicago. What is she supposed to do in Williston? For heaven’s sake. Anyway, they kiss. Oblivious to all the cars that are trapped behind Julia’s car.

Brooke is running another class at the maze. I think she is going to lose her license. Nate and Julia decide to race against the kids in the maze. They are knocking them over and breaking bones. They get to the middle of the maze and kiss again. And then decide to have a snowball fight. And that’s it.

I asked everyone I knew if this title is strange. Everyone agreed that it was. I can’t figure out why it’s “Love ON Iceland” instead of “Love IN Iceland”. Ultimately, the premise includes a podcast about couples sharing their stories so I wonder if it is supposed to be a pun? But let me tell you, it DOES NOT work. It just sounds incorrect. Maybe an Icelandic person came up with it and their English wasn’t great but no one wanted to correct them and hurt their feelings? I don’t know. But here we are. Love ON Iceland premiered on January 18 on the Hallmark Channel. Let’s dive in.

Our Lead, Chloe, works for the radio…no a podcast station and stands outside the recording booth listening to an interview. The interviewee is a musician of some sort. They are having a personal conversation. The interviewee says she recently went to Iceland to get some perspective and it just changed her whole life. Well that is interesting, thinks Chloe.

After that, she has a meeting with her boss. He has hipster white/gray hair.

Later, Chloe has lunch with her friend, Isabella. An old photo pops up of them with their friend group from college. They reminisce about taking the best trips in college. With what money? Seriously, how were they traveling every spring break and summer all over the world DURING College? Come on Hallmark. Have them all meet during their study abroad semester or something. Chloe and Isabella decide they should get the gang back together to take a trip somewhere. Presumably, it’s January, so Isabella wants to go somewhere warm. Chloe is like, no, we should go to Iceland! Where it’s dark almost all day long right now. Isabella is like, yeah cool. That sounds fun I guess.

A travel photographer, Charlie, gives a presentation or is teaching a class. At the end, in a room full of allegedly serious photography students, he gets asked what his favorite social media filter is. He seems to suggest he doesn’t edit any of his photos which just can’t be true. But maybe nature photography is different.

We see Chloe booking her flight for like, the next day? Nothing like just being able to immediately drop thousands of dollars on impulse for a trip. Then, Chloe and Isabella arrive in(on?) Iceland. The whole gang made it! Everyone can just drop everything and take a super expensive trip! Neat.

In real life, what would have happened is that this group would have passively debated where and when they should go and for how long, and six months later they would finally be somewhere within driving distance of all of them. But here they all are, ON Iceland miraculously, just days after coming up with the idea.

It looks like their other pal, Kenneth, got married in the last ten years. Ken says they’re just waiting on the tour guide. Chloe is like, wait what? I planne this entire trip and have this detailed itinerary. What are you talking about? Ken is like, no we thought this would be better. We planned something TOTALLY different so you can just relax on this trip. So they booked an all inclusive guide without telling her and without coordinating or making sure people were cool with that expense. But maybe Kenneth and his wife are covering that whole part? But, okay. So Chloe planned the whole week also. Presumably that means she made reservations and got tickets to things. So…the work is already done. It’s planned so she would have been able to relax anyway because now it’s just executing. But now that effort is wasted. And now, instead of completely losing it on these people like I would have, Chloe is like oh, okay. I guess that’s fine then. Then the tour guide arrives to pick them up. Is he taking them to the place Chloe booked or to some other place? SO MUCH WASTED MONEY.

On the ride to their hotel/chalet, Chloe overshares with the tour guide.

They stay at a massive house in the middle of nowhere. When they arrive, Chloe hands the tour guide a very detailed itinerary and hopes there is time to see everything she wants to see. This actually makes me so sad for her. She worked so hard to plan a nice trip with her friends and they just blow the whole thing up without telling her. She hopes there is a way to squeeze in some of the stuff she arranged. Now, look, as I said, I think this is a truly terrible thing her friends did. But wouldn’t the things the tour guide would do with them presumably line up with what she wants to see? It would be truly insane if Ken and his wife had worked out a COMPLETELY different itinerary from what Chloe put together. How did they not talk about what they wanted to do? Oh probably because they flew out like the day after they decided to leave.

They are greeted by their Icelandic hosts and have some lovely almond cake inside. The house is so lovely and that almond cake looks wonderful. Then, Charlie, the travel photographer from earlier, arrives and it is SOO AWKWARD. He’s like, I’m sorry I’m late! And Chloe is like, wait why are you here? And Ken, who seems to be both a colossal idiot and THE WORST human, is like, I thought you said the whole gang? So I invited Charlie without telling you…And again, made a bunch of other decisions FOR THE GROUP without telling anyone. Good thing they booked a house that had enough room.

Later, Charlie and Chloe talk outside and Chloe reiterates how surprised she is that he is there. Johann, the tour guide arrives with Chloe’s phone. They are going somewhere in the middle of the night?!! Ooh they are going to a hot springs.

In the locker room, Chloe gives Kenneth’s wife the backstory of her three year relationship with Charlie. Isabella helps. Then Kenneth and Charlie walk around the hot springs in their bathrobes and chat about Charlie and Chloe’s break up.

They hang in the hot springs. For some reason Johann is there too? Would a tour guide be like, recreating with them? I guess? It seems a little weird. Isabella is extremely brave and holds her phone whilst in the water. Somehow they get to reminiscing and it comes out that Chloe had at one time purchased Charlie a compass so he wouldn’t get lost. They ask if he still has it and he’s like oh um probably somewhere. They keep track of how long it takes for Charlie to wander away from the group. 22 minutes! Charlie invites Chloe to have some hot chocolate.

Later, Chloe and Charlie talk in their bathrobes. They catch up on their lives currently. Then he asks why she chose Iceland in the winter for a vacation. She’s like oh I came up with the idea after listening to a little thing called a podcast. This is literally right after she tells Charlie that she works at a podcast company. So I don’t really get it. He is surprised she isn’t at the same job she was when they broke up. Charlie shares that he didn’t want to miss the gang getting back together. That’s nice I suppose.

Back at the chalet, Charlie surprisingly has his own room even though Chloe booked the place without realizing they would need space to accomodate him. He pulls out the compass she bought him. Apparently he brings it everywhere.

The next morning, Chloe turns into Belle from Beauty and the Beast and starts singing and dancing around in the library of the chalet. She just wants adventure in the great, wide somewhere. She wants it more than she can tell. Later, she reads outside IN THE WINTER IN(ON?) ICELAND. Charlie comes strolling up. They are both dressed inappropriately for the weather. Chloe has a cute cape situation and cute pink beanie though.

Their Icelandic host approaches. She serves them a lovely Scandinavian breakfast. And she serves them Icelandic yogurt. Chloe pretends like she’s never had it even though Siggi’s is ALL OVER THE GROCERY STORES. Then the hosts share the story about how they met. They are a cute little pair. The hostess notices that Chloe found a book on Norse mythology in the library. She tells Chloe to keep it. Just like in Beauty and the Beast! Daring Sword fights, a prince in disguise! Maybe.

Oh geez, they are all eating on wooden cutting boards instead of plates. Then Chloe says that she made all their beds. What in the world? What an incredible invasion of everyone’s privacy? But no one minds. I guess they’re friends like that after not speaking for ten years. And then she’s like we need to get moving. And they were like what about the tour guide? And Chloe is like well I made some tweaks to the itinerary. And idiot Kenneth is like, we hired this tour guide so you wouldn’t have to plan anything. And Chloe is like, you idiot, the planning work was ALREADY DONE and I would be losing all my deposits you ungrateful bumblebees! So they load up and go see a waterfall. Chloe wears a different coat and hat than the one she wore earlier. Then, they TAKE A HELICOPTER to some caves. I cannot imagine what a private tour vacation like this would cost, especially on such short notice. And then Charlie wanders off again.

Chloe finds him. He wants to wander down a path IN A CAVE that’s not on the map. Is he also an idiot? Chloe is like, no we have to stick to the designated route! And he’s like nah, come on. So she agrees, and then the cave falls in on them because there was a reason this path was not on the designated route. Just kidding. No one seems to care that they’re both gone and they have a nice moment together and don’t die and no one learns any lessons. Chloe walks off towards the group and Charlie creepily stares at her for too long.

Later, Charlie and Chloe both grab for the last piece of Kringle. Isabella walks in and snags it. Kenneth and his wife wander in with their arms loaded up. They decide to play a game. They convince Johann to join. They play Pictionary. Where did they get that easel? Johann seems to be getting too cozy with Chloe for Charlie’s liking. Charlie demonstrates that he’s truly terrible at this game. Isabella is also terrible. She guesses too much. This pair is married in real life. Isn’t that a treat? Chloe explains Pictionary to Johann because they don’t have that in Iceland? Oh they have a very fancy timer too.

The next day, Chloe reads her mythology book in super cute Scandinavian jammies. Today seems to be turtleneck day for the group. Charlie wants to disrupt the WHOLE SCHEDULE. Chloe has the WORST friends. Charlie apparently “heard some locals” talk about a sea village on the coast? And poor Chloe gets outvoted. Chloe wears a different coat and hat. On the drive to the sea village, Isabella sees horses and wants to stop to take a picture. This stupidity causes them to drive over a rock and rip a hole in the tire. Isabella doesn’t seem to care. She’s immediately outside snapping pics. They all feel bad for leaving Johann by himself to fix the tire. He’s like, you guys. I live here so I don’t care about seeing the sea village? I’m getting paid either way? Chloe first volunteers Charlie but he’s like no I don’t want to change a tire on my vacation. Have the servant do it. Finally, Isabella agrees to stay behind to help Johann while the gang gets on a bus to the village. I can’t believe the dudes in this group were not even offering to help. Sure Isabella, you stay behind to “help” change a tire and miss out on a day of sight seeing on this trip you paid for.

The rest of the team misses the bus and the next one doesn’t come for 2 hours. MIRACULOUSLY, there is a ferry in this middle of nowhere they can take instead. Kenneth and his wife want to do some shopping. Kenneth says “we didn’t bring enough carry on” like, singular. Also, maybe if they hadn’t packed a different coat for each day they would have room.

Chloe and Charlie decide to go into a museum. Charlie is all in on it because it’s about Vikings. Chloe sees a goblet she’s been reading about in her book. This goblet apparently gave Odin the gift of poetry to woo his wife. Boy, that is a disappointing power. Then Chloe comes up with an idea for a podcast; hearing about other people’s love stories. Okay, I’d probably listen to that.

Later, Charlie and Chloe go to a bar and talk about the format of her podcast idea. They talk about a significant moment in their relationship. Charlie’s phone buzzes. Chloe asks where he’s off to next. Probably Tokyo and then Morocco he says. Then Charlie says “the next photo” he takes is his favorite one. Chloe gets a little judgey. Then Charlie says he got offered a job teaching in Chicago. Yes, he’ll be teaching how to decide which Instagram filters to use. Then Chloe comments that she loves the Icelandic song playing in the bar. So OF COURSE, Charlie asks her to dance. WHY. WHY. WHY. I would be so happy if this trope would be eliminated from these movies. Luckily for them, other people join in.

After the song, Chloe and Charlie introduce themselves to the musicians. Chloe offers to buy them hot chocolate to hear about their story. They’re like, we’re in a pub. It is a nice but boring story. Back on the ferry home, Kenneth and his wife have managed to fall asleep outside on the top deck. Charlie tells Chloe that she should host the podcast. Chloe is like, who? Little ol me?

Back at home, Isabella and Johann say they had a lovely day too. Is Kenneth just drunk all day? He bought a Viking hat for himself. To make up for getting a flat tire that was actually Isabella’s fault, Johann booked them a night at the Bubble hotel, where you sleep in a clear dome to see the stars/northern lights. It looks AWESOME. But who’s paying for it? Did he just commit all of them to drop an extra $500 or is his tour company absorbing the cost?

At the Bubble Hotel, Charlie gets a call about Tokyo. If he accepts the job, he’d have to leave his vacation early. He needs more time to think though! No time. He has to leave in three days. Why are these things always so last minute? His boss is like, dude you’re just on vacation. It’s not like I’m asking you to fly out on Christmas Eve? For heaven’s sake? Charlie looks through the photos on his phone. He gets Chloe’s attention while she’s in her bubble pod and writes her a note on a notebook. He writes something else down but decides not to show her. Cool. Definitely won’t be up all night thinking about that! Thanks Charlie!

The next day, they head back to the house. Chloe has another beanie on. Chloe’s boss calls and is so stoked about her idea. Her boss shoots down the idea of her hosting the podcast. Also, her boss’s name is Rick Rackett. And the company is called “Racket Podcast”. Shouldn’t it be plural? Did non English speaking people do all of the set decor and scripts. Oh, Okay. Kenneth is definitely just drunk 24/7. He starts yodeling. Chloe comes back outside wearing a different coat. That makes 3 total so far.

Charlie has an idea for her to do some work instead of going on a tour they likely paid for already. She’s like cool! I LOVE wasting money. Check out how many coats I packed! They head out.

Charlie tells Chloe they are going to interview this couple that lives near a lighthouse. I think the hostess of their house told him about them? They were featured in the paper for their 30th wedding anniversary.

They interview the couple and seem to have all the equipment they need to record it! They have a nice little story.

After the interview, Charlie and Chloe each get relationship advice from the couple. Next, they interview another couple on a boat. Then they seem to just accost people in the streets to interview them.

Then they walk along a random strip of a barrier wall on the ocean? Or a jetty? For no reason at all and Charlie films her the entire time. He asks her a question he probably didn’t want on film. He asks if she has ever met someone that she feels like she could be with forever and she hints that he was probably it but it didn’t work out and well we all felt awkward.

That night, Chloe gabs with Kenneth’s wife. They are sitting outside with only candles to warm them. Johann comes outside to talk to Chloe. The rest of the gang apparently spent the day at the nature reserve. Johann invites her to run down to City Hall with him tomorrow. It very much seems like he’s asking her on a date.

Later, Chloe and Isabella walk along the water. Chloe wears her FOURTH coat of the movie. Isabella is noticeably bummed that Johann asked Chloe to hang out but is trying her VERY BEST to keep cool and casual. And she is doing a terrible job at that by the way. A normal friend; not even a GOOD friend, would notice that Isabella likes Johann. Chloe is just SO SELF ABSORBED in this moment. It is SO OBVIOUS that Isabella likes him and Chloe either doesn’t care or doesn’t notice. Both make her a truly terrible friend. Maybe this is her getting back at everyone for sabotaging the trip she planned.

Later, Chloe and Charlie share corded earbuds to listen to the first cut of their podcast ep. Not sure why they needed headphones. Charlie’s waffle knit sweater is almost too much for me to bear. Then Charlie asks Chloe for some advice about the upcoming photography gigs. He says he’s thinking about turning down the Tokyo opportunity. This surprises her. The Charlie invites her to hang out that night and take photos. Chloe is like oh shoot, I have other plans. What day is it?

Charlie wanders around snapping pics. He creepily snaps a photo of a child without her parents’ consent.

Chloe and Johann head into town and stroll along the water. Is this yet another coat for Chloe? Johann asks about where she met her friends and her job. And he shares about his own career. Johann shows her a bracelet he purchased made from lava rocks. Chloe is like oh I’m flattered but…and then Johann is like no I brought you all the way to town to show you this gift I got for Isabella. Then Johann encourages Chloe to tell Charlie how she feels.

Later, Charlie says he’s making a “midnight snack” at 9 pm. She asks to see Charlie’s photos from that evening. She loves them. WHAT DAY IS IT. Then they KISS! Oh boy. We still have 20 minutes left. And THEN his phone buzzes and the moment is all over.

The next morning, Chloe has a great teal shirt sweater situation happening. Charlie doubles down on the Scandinavian fisherman’s sweater look. In the kitchen, Kenneth is working on a really great joke for his wife actually-bringing her a massive plate of food. Then Kenneth tells him how he knew she was the one. Charlie says he doesn’t know if Chloe feels the same way about him. Hello! They just kissed.

Chloe keeps reading her book by the fire. Chloe saved Charlie a muffin. Charlie says there’s something he wants to talk to her about. But of course, then Johann shows up. Johann has a surprise cooked up for them later. But there is NOTHING planned for today. Some all inclusive tour guide! Chloe walks off. Then Chloe and Isabella sit outside by the fire. Isabella is like, what did you guys do last night!!! Trying to be SO COOL. Chloe is like oh I don’t have feelings for him. Right then Charlie tries to walk up and of course, totally misinterprets. Then Johann shows up and wants to talk to Isabella. Charlie freaks and tells his agent he wants to go to Tokyo.

Isabella and Johann have a nice moment. He gives her the bracelet he showed Chloe the night before.

Charlie is all packed up. SUCH a drama queen. He tells Chloe he decided to take the job in Tokyo. Chloe gets upset that he’s going. She thought this time was different. I honestly don’t get how Charlie doesn’t realize that she likes him? Or why doesn’t he say hey I overheard you talking to Isabella. I thought we had something this week? Am I so off? THESE GUYS.

That night, they are all out to dinner. Everyone except Charlie of course. Isabella does her best to make things awkward by bringing up Charlie. Chloe gets a call from Rick Rackett, who Hallmark keeps trying to convince us is a real name and person. He tells her that she can host the podcast! Kenneth and his wife have a weird moment. He’s like I like taking vacations with you. We should do it more often. How about when we get home, we don’t “start on things right away” and have a staycation. What in the world is he talking about? Does he mean work? Then they brainstorm for their next group vacation. They pick SUPER expensive locations. Then Kenneth, the idiot, is like and maybe Chloe’s ex boyfriend can still come?

Then they head to an island or a beach or something. Oh, Diamond Beach.

Charlie is literally about to board a bus or something? Not a plane. And rewatches a video of Chloe and decides to turn around.

The rest of the gang is lighting stuff on fire and making wishes. Is Chloe wearing ANOTHER COAT? And then they are waiting for the Northern Lights. Then Charlie shows up! They each make speeches and then KISS AGAIN. Then the Northern Lights show up in the sky. They say a few more barf inducing things and then they kiss again. And that’s it. We did it. Love ON Iceland.